A Kinder, Gentler Board Meeting - Christianity Today

Have you ever thought about what happens to former church officers? After hearing lay leaders say about their term, “I’m glad it’s almost over,” or “Whew, I made it,” or “Never again,” I began asking why. I also noticed that a significant number of former church officers became inactive or dropped out of the church.

Recently, Set Apart Lay Leaders, a project aimed at revitalizing church boards, polled more than 600 board members. Nearly a third–29 percent–indicated they left “tired, weary, and burned out.” They had come asking for bread and were given a stone.

One board member said, “The last three presidents of the church board in our church have dropped out of activity in the church within six months of their term.”

Another said, “We were looking for three new council members and went through 63 names before we heard our third ‘yes.'”

What frustrated them about serving on the church board? Here are some comments showing deep frustration:

“How burned out I feel. My last year was my most unproductive one.”

“How secular it is. We spend more time discussing leaky toilets than why our church is slowly dying due to no growth or vision.”

“The lack of interest in pursuing God together. Prayer is a formality, not a way to seek his purpose and plan.”

“The lack of concern for seeking Christ’s guidance versus following our own personal agendas.”

Can serving on a church board truly be life-giving instead of life-draining? Can board meetings actually become “worshipful work”?

SPIRITUAL LOCUS

I believed they could, and I’ve devoted the past three years to working with a group of churches to integrate spirituality into their board meetings. One Florida church board commented about the change:

“It is obvious whose meeting this is–God’s!”

“We are reminded at every point that our service is for God.”

“When I go home, I can go right to bed. I used to stay up until midnight unwinding.”

“If only the County Board of Commissioners on which I sit could pause for prayer like we do.”

The board room can be a place for spiritual growth. But it calls for a change in how we approach our board work. Over time, we have identified four practices that enrich a board.

1. Story telling. One church council was reviewing its history by recording significant events and names of leaders on a timeline. Someone told the church’s founding story: Four German immigrants were playing cards when, in the middle of a hand, one suggested that a new church should be formed in their neighborhood. These Germans rolled up their shirt-sleeves and invited others to share their vision until it became a reality.

After hearing that story, other council members relayed their stories of how they had been invited to the church. The council concluded that a common thread running through the church’s history was its inviting character. The council members became so excited that they convened a church meeting. When the people gathered in the fellowship hall, they were greeted with a timeline that wrapped around the room. They were invited to record their memories on the timeline and then tell their stories.

The process bonded the council members together, connecting them to the mission of the church and helping them see the importance of what they were doing. Stories do that: they provide a clear identity. Stories bring life and energy. Stories draw out commitment, form community, illuminate personal characteristics and gifts. Often story telling during a board meeting can clear the air and aid listening, speeding up discussion on issues.

2. Biblical and theological reflection. Mikey was the 12-year-old mentally handicapped foster son of a family in the process of joining Westminster Church. At a meeting in which the elders were authorizing the baptism of the children in that family, one elder asked, “But what about Mikey?” The elders determined he had a simple love of and trust in Jesus.

The day of Mikey’s baptism, the congregation was caught off guard when, while being baptized, Mikey burst into a loud, joyful laugh. His beaming smile moved the congregation, which fifteen years earlier had launched a ministry to mentally handicapped children.

Later in a meeting, the session (board) recalled Mikey’s baptism. When asked to think of a biblical story or theme triggered by Mikey’s story, the session settled on the baptism of the Ethiopian eunuch in Acts 8. In both cases, the baptisms involved elements of surprise. The board members compared the two stories, concluding by telling what they learned.

The session was so excited with the process they asked to continue doing it. Theological and biblical reflection trains board members in the basic beliefs, purpose, and mission of the church.

3. Prayerful discernment. The Presbytery of Cincinnati has adopted a discernment process for its work with sessions of congregations. On certain critical issues, each person on the session prepares a brief statement that is presented to the rest of the board. No debate occurs, nor are weaknesses pointed out. Each person is then asked to go home and pray, searching for the good in each statement.

When the board gathers again, the options are presented and the good in each is highlighted. At this point, each person spends additional time in prayer, searching for the “weightier good.”

Finally, the board gathers to seek consensus. If none is found, the board is asked to search their hearts for indifference to God’s will. If indifference is found, the process is repeated.

This method of seeking God’s will engages all members of the board in prayer. It builds on the wisdom of others, rather than on the ability to point out weak positions. Of course, not every decision can be put to such a lengthy process. But for key decisions, prayerful discernment can turn the board into a center of worshipful work.

One church council was prepared to build a multipurpose gymnasium, since that was what all the growing churches around them were doing. But after slowing down and putting the matter to prayerful discernment, they finally built what they call a “spiritual life center.” It’s nothing like any Christian education wing or multipurpose gym. As I entered the new building, I noted the number of quiet nooks for conversation or prayer; a small, colorful chapel; a library; a large assembly room. Prayerful discernment had led to a unique and fitting solution.

4. Visioning the future. I have conducted a number of retreats for church boards. Halfway into the retreat, I often detect a sigh of relief–most people are relieved to find I don’t expect them to paper the walls with newsprint listing all the goals for the coming year, goals that rarely become reality.

Grace United Church is the result of the merger of two declining churches in a declining neighborhood. Their council is made up largely of newer people drawn by the church’s neighborhood ministries. They have little money.

When the council spent a day visioning their future, they could not come up with a three-to-five-year plan. In their current situation, they have a hard time envisioning what next year will be like.

Prior to the retreat, the council seemed bound by traditional categories that were strangling their organizational structure. During the retreat they recognized that the natural groupings in the church were already performing the essential functions of worship, nurture, evangelism, and mission. So, rather than force committees, they decided to reorganize the church around these natural groupings, training the existing leaders to lead worship, give nurture, and do evangelism and mission.

Their vision is to be a celebrative church that cares about its neighborhood. They plan to hold the future God has for them in an open hand and to be open to the gifts God brings. Already God has brought gifts such as youth groups who work in the neighborhood and several people who can speak Spanish. Vision, for them, is a commitment to a direction with mid-course corrections dictated by the opportunities God provides.

THE CULTURE OF LAUGHTER

As boards have begun to incorporate these four practices, I have seen enormous changes.

Several years ago the pastor and key elders from First Church in a company town attended a conference called “The Elder as Spiritual Leader.” They reported that the corporate ways of the town’s company were mimicked in the boards all over town, including the churches’. They wondered if there were a better way. They picked up a few pointers from the conference and went home to work on them.

Recently I visited one of their board meetings. After it was over, they asked what I had observed.

“What you did most and best was laugh,” I reported. “You shared fifty-two hearty corporate laughs!”

With that they laughed again, and someone piped up, “Fifty-three … ” It quickly rose to sixty!

That evening I had also heard thirteen direct expressions of appreciation, seven theological reflections, six references to the Bible, six reports of information, a couple of stories, four hymns, and five pauses for prayer. And four decisions.

I would label this board’s culture as a warm family rather than a cold corporation. The members were energized and committed. Serving on that board was no longer draining; it was life-giving.

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Charles M. Olsen is director of Set Apart Lay Leaders in Kansas City, Missouri.