Parents of stillborn, miscarried, or aborted children can suffer for years with unresolved anguish because often there is no rite of closure.
One church has ministered to these hurting parents by holding a memorial service. Casas Adobes Baptist Church in Tucson, Arizona, in partnership with the local crisis pregnancy center, publicized a special Sunday evening service.
After an extended time of worship, Pastor Roger Barrier shared his story of losing a child. The Barriers’ first daughter, Jessie, was born with serious complications and died at eight months. He told the grieving parents, many of whom were unchurched, of his hope and strength because of Jesus Christ.
Pastor Barrier invited the parents to come to the front of the sanctuary where hundreds of red roses were laid on one table and an ornate crown sat on a pillow in the center of another. Parents were instructed to select a rose in memory of each child they had lost, then to lay the rose on the crown after prayerfully meditating on the love of Christ for them and their deceased child. More than 150 people responded.
“Many were women suffering from post-abortion guilt and anguish,” says Kathy Arizmendi, director of Crisis Pregnancy Center. “This event helped them receive forgiveness and healing after years of feeling hopeless.”
One couple picked up six roses, one for each miscarriage. A number of respondents were in their fifties and sixties; they had carried their sorrow for decades. Some men acknowledged their grief for the first time.
Counselors from the church and the crisis pregnancy center were available to talk and pray with participants; many stayed late into the evening.
“We saw a lot of healing take place that night,” says Steve Dowdle, director of counseling ministries for Casas Adobes. “I know of couples who were able to resolve other issues in their marriage as a result of dealing with this great source of pain in their lives.”
–Edward K. Rowell
assistant editor, LEADERSHIP
Copyright (c) 1995 Christianity Today, Inc./LEADERSHIP Journal
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Copyright © 1995 by the author or Christianity Today/Leadership Journal. Click here for reprint information on Leadership Journal.
