The first synod convention I attended after ordination was held in the ballroom of a magnificent hotel. At one point in the gathering, the presiding officer recognized pastors celebrating their twenty-fifth, thirtieth, fortieth, and fiftieth anniversaries of ordination.
As they doddered to the front, I marveled: I had been alive for twenty-five years; these guys (and they were all guys) had lasted for twenty-five years as pastors. Some of them twice that!
I have reason for remembering that moment. If my synod chooses to do that same thing this year, I will be one of those doddering pastors. I’ve been a parish pastor for twenty-five years. Scary thought.
As a wizened sage, let me offer nine lessons parish ministry has taught me that I never learned in seminary. Call them McKinley’s Laws.
Law 1: The person who sticks his or her head into your office and says, “Do you have a minute?” really wants at least an hour.
Law 2: Congregation council meetings will take longer and accomplish less than you expect.
Law 3: Never estimate to your spouse how long a council meeting will last. The ones you expect to be over in one hour will take three. The meetings you expect to take three hours will take one. The council members who are most eager to end the official meeting will then spend one hour huddled in small groups in the parking lot.
Law 4: If you go to the church office dressed casually, an emergency will occur, and you will wish you were wearing more “official” clothing.
Law 5: There are no miracle church cures. No program will instantly solve your problems with stewardship, evangelism, or Christian education. Those who give 2.5 percent of their income will not become tithers next year, no matter what you do. But hard, steady, relentless work can make a difference over time.
Law 6: The people most eager to become your dear friends when you arrive will probably not be so eager two years later. Within one year you will either have become their tool or totally alienated them.
Law 7: People will tease you about your ability to control the weather. You cannot. However, if your area is desperately in need of rain, try scheduling an outdoor wedding or a church picnic. This will usually bring rain.
Law 8: You will regularly foul up. You will know the kind of pastor you want to be, but, at times, you will not live up to that vision (see Romans 7).
Law 9: The congregation will sometimes disappoint you. They will resist new ideas. They’ll stay away from worship to watch a football game. They will fail to carry out the tasks they volunteered to do.
But somehow the Holy Spirit will work through your imperfect ministry in that imperfect congregation to change the world with the good news of Jesus Christ.
I hope you young whippersnappers appreciate my generosity in sharing this knowledge with you. When I was first ordained, those gnarled veterans of twenty-five to fifty years of ministry couldn’t teach me much about the pastorate, even though they tried, since I already knew so much.
Today’s “veterans” (like myself) are much wiser than yesterday’s veterans were. Obviously.
Steven L. McKinley House of Prayer Lutheran Church Richfield, Minnesota
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