Win-Win-Win Referrals

Every Sunday they come to our churches. They bring with them their eating disorders, their compulsive and addictive behaviors, and their destructive relational patterns. Sometimes we pastors have neither adequate training nor time to treat the terrible things our people are dealing with—molestation, bipolar disorders, unresolved grief, addictions. We need to find a therapy team for our broken people. It was on a Sunday morning when an invitation was given from the front of our church, but not from me, the pastor. The offer came from a Christian therapist. It was an invitation to come to counseling where, as the counselor put it, "God can help you where you are." One of the men in our church took that offer, and there with a safe, expert listener, all the shameful feelings tumbled out. It had happened twenty-three years ago. An older man gave him a job, took him to meet some important people, cared for him as his parents never had, and then sexually abused him. A hidden, lonely secret—then a counselor extended grace to a place where no one else had been able to reach. Recently the man told me, "Getting rid of the secret, just having someone to talk about it with," the relief in his voice was so palpable I could have touched it, "was so helpful! Even as a Christian, I had so much guilt and shame for something that wasn't my fault. I couldn't even identify all the terrible feelings I had. I can't tell you how much better I feel." Faced with the deep brokenness of some of the people God brought to our church, we began to look for a Christ-centered, professional counseling ministry to team up with. We began by asking around in the counseling community, "Do you know any licensed therapists who are Christians?" We asked the Christian counselors we found, "Do you know other Christian therapists you would recommend to us?" We prayed, and we got results. We discovered an outstanding Christian counseling center in our area.

Putting together a good partnership

For a church and a counseling ministry to find each other and create a partnership is a process. It takes time to form a trusting relationship. Here are several elements we discovered that will help insure success.1. We had to make sure we were biblically compatible with the therapists. Our pastors met with the counselors over breakfast and put theology and psychology on the table with the eggs and pancakes. We wanted to know the therapists' view of salvation. Did they have their own faith in Christ? Did they blend Christ's redemptive work with their therapeutic work? This was a good discussion. The therapists shared their Christian testimonies. They spoke of how they integrated faith and therapy. We felt we could trust them. Someone told me recently, "It has been so good to be able to end my session in prayer with my counselor."2. We obtained our church leadership's support. We knew we needed the support of all our staff, board members, and key leaders to make this work. So we got our leaders together to talk it out. Some of our leaders themselves had gone to counseling. One of our pastors had been in therapy to better understand his feelings about his disabled daughter. He spoke of having "discovered some very insightful things" about himself. This was reassuring. We put together a night for the staff and board to meet and interview the counselors. We got the thumbs up from everyone who attended.3. We worked on the nuts and bolts of a partnership. We verified that the counseling center had adequate insurance coverage. We developing a written proposal to cover referrals, fees, information releases, and use of space. We set aside a private, professional-looking room for counseling at the church. We also planned upcoming support groups and seminars to lay a foundation for the ministry. One seminar on "Anxiety and Depression" packed the room. A seminar on "Better Communication" had people sitting in the aisles and standing in the doorways.4. We promoted the ministry. To be successful, we knew we needed to promote this from the front of the church on Sunday mornings. We pastors preached sermons that set a tone conducive to dealing with inner hurts. One message dealt with grief, another with depression, another with family conflicts. We modeled openness, speaking appropriately but honestly of our own struggles. We also invited our professional counselors up front. They gave their Christian testimonies. This was important. We found it crucial for people to see the face and hear the heart of the one they might be seeking for help.5. We arranged to make counseling affordable. People in emotional crisis are often in financial crisis. Our counselors offer flexible client fees based on a sliding scale. Interns with graduate level counseling degrees but with a need for professional hours of experience are often utilized. We have found interns, always supervised by a licensed MFT (marriage and family therapist), to be effective and affordable. The church has developed its own counseling fund from which we often co-pay for a client's therapy. This is crucial. Before, we had seen couples begin therapy and then quit because they could not afford it. Now the financial aspect was covered. With these important steps taken and a positive impression established, the counselors found a new trust in their ministry. The pastoral staff found a needed resource and a valuable partner. And the broken, hurting people finally began to find healing. It's a win-win-win situation.

Randall Hasper is associate pastor at Paseo del Rey Church in Chula Vista, California. RHasper@aol.com