Young married couples think they know each other pretty well. They’ll say things like, “You always do that.” Ironically, it’s the older couples who keep saying, “I never knew that about you.” That’s because it takes time to see the mystery in each other.
Preaching invites people to see the sacred mystery of what God is doing with their lives. The longer a preacher stays in a particular congregation, the more his or her relationship with those people will change. This is part of the unfolding sacred mystery that keeps preaching exciting and fresh.
I’ve just begun my tenth year as the pastor and preacher of the congregation I serve, and here are a few of the changing dynamics I have noticed:
- The sermons eventually connect. When two new friends begin to talk to each other, and certainly when a newly married couple talks, they essentially have to lean forward in the chair to make sure that what they are hearing is really what the person meant to say. Similarly, it takes a while for a congregation to understand a preacher’s vocabulary. You can almost see them straining to get it.For example, I love to preach about God’s grace, but by that term I am referring to God’s initiatives in our lives. Sometimes that grace feels pretty good, and sometimes it feels severe, but since it comes from God it always leads to our salvation. When I first began preaching at our church, however, the congregation was accustomed to thinking about grace only in the sense of forgiveness of sins. It took a while for them to realize that I was stretching the term to include other mercies as well.
- It takes time for preachers to find their groove. After the first couple of years, I discovered that I was no longer being introduced as “the new pastor.” That also meant, thankfully, that people were no longer deciding what they thought about the new guy every time I stepped up to the pulpit. This left me with a tremendous sense of freedom. It was only then that I felt secure enough to try stepping away from my notes so I could look the congregation in the eyes as I spoke holy words to them. And it was only then that I dared to take on some of the controversial topics, like sex and justice issues, that sooner or later every faithful preacher has to address.This is true of any relationship. When the relationship is new and fragile, and you are terrified of being misunderstood, you measure your words and choose to overlook the things that probably need to be addressed. After a while, though, you’ve gained enough trust and familiarity to relax, be you, and tell the truth in love.
- The preacher and the congregation have to keep falling in love. After a while, as in any relationship, it is easy to take each other for granted. If you have preached well during your first few years in a congregation, you’ve set your own high bar, and the congregation simply expects you to clear it every Sunday.By my fifth year of preaching in the same church, I found that mostly visitors filled the line at the door after worship. When members come through the line, they usually have a suggestion about the church ministry. It took me while to realize that the members are still appreciative of the sermon, but they assume that I know that by now.As a church leader, it is my responsibility to challenge the assumptions that strangle the life-giving mystery out of any relationship. The easiest way to do this is to start by asking myself, and my God, Why do I love this congregation? As I see those reasons, my heart is made tender and I fall back in love with them again.I will occasionally end a worship service by saying, “I just want you to know that I love you, and I love serving as your pastor.” They have always found it irresistible to find ways of saying, “I love you, too.”
Craig Barnes is pastor of National Presbyterian Church in Washington, D.C. and editor-at-large of Leadership.
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