What Wives Want

Most women whose husbands are pastors say the ministry life is stressful, but overall they appear to be satisfied with their marriages and church life. Where most want help is in their walk with Christ, according to a new survey by Just Between Us, a magazine for ministry wives.

In poll of readers, 97 percent said their marriages are strong and almost all feel supported in their marriage (93%) and in their parenting (90%). An almost equally high number (83%) said they feel supported in their role as a ministry spouse, however, three-fourths want a close friend other than their husband, and 53 percent feel isolated.

“The life of a pastor’s wife can be lonely, and there are not many resources out there to turn to,” one respondent said.

“Balancing it all” remains the top need in 15 years of surveying.

2005’s top five list:

Balancing my busy life
Devotional life
Having a close friend or confidante
Handling conflict
Handling emotional issues and stress.

Feelings: About six in ten reported feeling physically drained. Far fewer chose such descriptions as depressed, angry, or emotionally burned out. As for the sources of hurts in ministry, many areas were named, including false accusations, betrayal, lack of respect, and disgruntled church members.

What kind of conflict have you experienced?

Major conflict with church members: Conflict with other staff members: Conflict with the board: No conflict (yet):

55% 39% 35% 11%

Spiritual life: This is the area where ministry wives most sought improvement. Half reported nurturing their relationship with Christ on a daily basis, while another third said “four to six times a week.” Most said their husbands are an active player in devotional life.

How often do you pray with your husband?

Daily: 4-6 times a week: 2-3 times a week:

42% 21% 16%

—from Just Between Us