In the early 1950s, American social institutions were inundated with the children from the baby boom. Seeing the unique needs of this new generation, schools, governments, and churches responded with ever more age-specific education. The result was the now familiar separation of children, youth, and adult ministries in most churches.
This type of ministry structure was revolutionary at the time, but now many churches are promoting a counter-revolution: a shift from stratified, age-segregated ministry to intentional integration of children in the overall life of the congregation.
These ministries are radical not in their unusual methods or dramatic implementation, but in the foundational ways they are challenging the status quo regarding the purpose, philosophy, and programming of children's ministry. And in the process, they are transforming their worship communities.
From Children's Church to Family Worship
Second Presbyterian Church Memphis, Tennessee
Like many churches its size, Second Presbyterian had what appeared to be a successful children's church program—so successful, in fact, that the program had expanded far beyond its original design of serving first through third graders during the sermon portion of the worship service. Led entirely by a talented and charismatic volunteer, the children's church program grew into a massive undertaking that removed children up to sixth grade from main worship service entirely.
Then the volunteer stepped down.
"We didn't know what to do," recalled Sandy Hazelwood, now director of children's ministry at the Second Presbyterian, "So we just said, 'We're not going to have children's church. You need to go to the worship service.'" Meanwhile, Hazelwood and senior pastor Sandy Wilson began to consider their options.
"Sandy was okay with continuing children's church if that was best, but he challenged us to look into the future and think about what we wanted to do," she explained. Hazelwood looked around and didn't like what she saw.
"Parents had gone hands-off with teaching their kids about worship," she said. "When kids came into the adult worship service in seventh grade, they were rowdy and unprepared for this type of worship." The children's church had actually become an impediment to their subsequent spiritual growth.
"Teaching our kids to worship is one of the most important things parents have to do."
Because church leadership decided having children in the worship service would be better for their children's spiritual development, the temporary decision became final: children from first through sixth grades would attend the main worship service with their parents. But Hazelwood didn't stop there.
"We started to think about the younger kids," she said. "As leaders, we read a book titled Parenting in the Pew, by Robbie Castleman. We asked ourselves, How can we get our parents to do a better job of teaching their children how to worship?"
By that time, Hazelwood was having trouble finding enough volunteers to serve one Sunday per month in the preschool class. So the church decided to suspend the class for one summer and include three to five-year-olds in the main worship service as well. Wilson also began casting vision from the pulpit, emphasizing the need for children to learn and experience worship with their parents. The paradigm shift was in full swing.
Today, Second Presbyterian still offers a preschool class during the school year, but many parents choose to keep their children in the main worship service anyway.
Elementary-age children are expected to worship with the adults. Parents are offered a variety of resources, ranging from "pew bags" with crayons and activities to help keep little ones quiet, to a CD and brochure about what children can expect and what to look for during the service, and how to prepare for worship as a family. Meanwhile, the church's leaders continue to champion the value of intergenerational worship, both to families and other church members. The weekly bulletin explains the importance of the intergenerational worship experience. Services often include a children's sermon. Wilson regularly communicates his excitement about the presence of kids in the service, and he tells young parents not to worry if their child is fidgeting, because it doesn't bother him.
Hazelwood views all of this as an obvious extension of the church's covenant theology, which views church and parents as partners in the development of children into mature followers of Christ.
"We are just teaching our parents how important it is to teach our kids to worship," Hazelwood explained. "As parents, we want to teach our children how to play ball, how to ride a bike, and how to drive a car. Teaching them to worship is one of the most important things parents have to do."
What began as an emergency measure nearly 10 years ago has become a defining value at Second Presbyterian, although the journey hasn't always been easy. At first, guiding their children through worship can be a parent's full-time job. And that's okay. "Parents might not get one thing out of the service, but their first responsibility is to take their children to worship, not necessarily to worship uninterrupted," she continued. "They can get CDs or go online for anything they miss in the service," said Hazelwood.
"Parents are a tough lot," Hazelwood said. "But each year I have more parents who say, 'We're not going back to the extended children's session; we're keeping our kids in church with us instead.'"
Integrated Space
Solomon's Porch Minneapolis, Minnesota
At Solomon's Porch, "integration" is more than a philosophy of children's ministry. It's a theme that dominates the community life of this nine-year-old, emergent urban congregation.
"When I first visited here, I thought, This is what I have been looking for my whole life: integrating art, children, my entire life, in one place," said Colleen Shealer. That was less than two months after Solomon's Porch first began public gatherings. One month later Shealer became director of children and families at Solomon's Porch, making her an integral part of the church's integration efforts.
"If we really believe that children are our future church, how do we include them in the life of the church today?"
At Solomon's Porch, children are included in almost every ministry of the church, except those that would place them in danger, such as the church's ministry to men and women involved in the local sex trade. Everywhere else, however, children are welcomed with open arms.
"Our philosophy is not based on any specific theology or Bible verses, but rather the attitude of Jesus toward children," Shealer explained. "Jesus included children, and he wanted us to be like children; all of those stories give us an identity that wants to include children."
Over its decade-long history, that integration has taken various forms at Solomon's Porch. In the church's early days, all children remained in the worship service. However, as the church grew in numbers, its meeting space could not accommodate everyone in the same room. But changing the way the church ministered to children did not compromise the church's values. Shealer is quick to point out that Solomon's Porch is committed to making constant adjustments based on the needs of its community.
These days kids begin with their parents in the Gathering, the weekly worship service that takes place in a space that is more living room in layout and vibe than a formal worship center. Instead of pews or rows of chairs, worshippers sit on couches or on the floor. There are art displays, candles, incense, and stations for creative expression through artistic media, such as clay or paint—all for adults and children. The goal is to integrate all senses, and all ages, into a holistic worship expression.
"We have intentionally created an atmosphere that is accepting of movement and noise," Shealer said. "We'll tell everyone it's okay for kids and adults to move around. They're not going to ruin anything or disrupt anything."
Immediately before the sermon, children are given an opportunity to dismiss to a more age-divided experience. Most choose to leave, but those who stay are warmly received.
"Every single week, Doug [Pagitt, lead pastor] says something about the children, and how important they are to our community," Shealer said. "If a baby starts crying, he'll say something like, 'It's important to listen to a baby cry, because it reminds us that we should stop and listen to each other.' That's just the way it's always been at our church."
The integration does not stop with the worship gatherings. Adults at Solomon's Porch routinely include children in the church's social justice ministries, prayer gatherings, and any other church activity. Whenever possible, these ministries are scheduled in consideration of family needs, such as earlier bedtimes.
Some families are drawn to Solomon's Porch because of these values. Others visit but ultimately decide that this type of intergenerational ministry is not a good fit. Still others are surprised at first, but soon realize the value of the integrated approach.
"Some people don't know what they're looking for, but with a little understanding and education and experience, they find out what a good thing it is for their families to be together and to identify themselves as a family of faith," Shealer said.
A key theme at Solomon's Porch is balance. "With children, we try to find the balance between various developmental needs," Shealer explained. "What's right for one person isn't necessarily right for another person. We try to find the right balance for everyone; that's just part of living in community."
Children, Celebration, and Cells
Fellowship Bible Church Northwest Arkansas,Rogers, Arkansas
When Fellowship Bible Church was started 25 years ago, the church's founders chose a Celebration/Cell structure, with large-group worship (Celebration) on weekends and small groups (Cells) meeting throughout the week.
At the time, the "two-C" model was a new concept for ministry, and it was a tremendous success at Fellowship—for the adults, that is. Meanwhile, the church's children had their own programming, including a more traditional Sunday school model, along with a kids' worship service.
"My struggle has been that I've missed the intergenerational time," said Beth Kenyon, the elementary team leader at Fellowship. "We believe that kids matter to God, and we had great avenues for spiritual development to happen in an age-appropriate way, but they were not getting to be a part of the life of the church with adults.
"I think both sides lose. We talk a lot about kids needing to see their parents worship and respond to God, but I think it's also true that parents need to see their kids worship and respond to God. Parents need to see that awe and wonder."
At Fellowship the best solution was to take an effective model and expand it to the entire church.
"Our cell ministry for adults was amazingly successful," Kenyon said. "We loved what was happening with home Bible studies, so we decided to try it with our high school kids. That worked wonderfully, so we decided to try it with junior high kids, and it was amazing. We then tried to go down to middle school, but that's when we ran into a problem."
Kenyon and other leaders discovered that while they loved the cell group concept, younger children needed a base of operations that the church building could provide. The compromise was an on-campus, weekend cell group program that capitalizes on the strengths of the cell model, yet provides a foundation until children are ready to make the move to off-campus home groups in junior high school.
Fellowship now implements the Celebration/Cell model throughout the entire church, from adults down to four-year-olds. Each group of children has the same leader in a small group, non-classroom setting. As kids mature into adolescence, they have the opportunity to serve as small group "interns," leading with another adult for two years. This leader and apprentice model provides another opportunity for intergenerational mentoring and community.
Kenyon has also worked to build family ministries into the life of the church through events such as family camps and family worship nights. "There has been a big change over the last 25 years," Kenyon said. "For a long time, I think parents expected the church to train their children. Now the parents see it's their responsibility, but they just don't know how to do it. Parents are looking for the church to show them and give them opportunities."
At Fellowship although the cells themselves are age-specific, the church integrates the generations by bringing cells groups together for service and mission projects. "Where we have landed is trying to incorporate healthy families and different generations into our existing structure," Kenyon explained. "We have adult, teen, and child small groups working with each other, serving together, going on mission trips. We've had grandparents go on mission trips with kids. We have a lot of grandparents and empty nesters leading small groups. They have the time and need the connection. Meanwhile, the child needs someone to help him or her grow.
"If we really believe that children are our future church, then the question is, 'How do we include them in the life of the church today?' We want these kids ready for wherever God would have them serve in the future."
New Life for Ancient Forms
St. Andrew's Episcopal Church New London, New Hampshire
For all the joy that accompanies it, childbirth is really a difficult process. At St. Andrew's Episcopal Church, intergenerational worship resembles the birth process with all of its difficulty and reward.
"Our model of worship assumes that children are already spiritual beings with quite a bit to contribute into the life of the community," says the Rev. Caroline Fairless, the associate for intergenerational worship at St. Andrew's. Part of the job of adult leadership is to help midwife that spirituality as it emerges into a community."
When Fairless and her husband, Jim Sims, came to St. Andrew's just over a year ago, children and adults were separated for most worship gatherings. But now, in what Fairless describes as definitely a "work in progress," St. Andrew's is beginning to pursue a truly intergenerational model for one service per month.
"The ancient model is that when children were invited into worship, they were slotted into adult roles: the children read the lessons and said the prayers, but it was all still an adult exercise," Fairless explained. "What we try to do instead is unpack each element of worship to its basic purpose and then ask, 'What would this look like if teenagers or children, or the men's group or the altar guild, could design it?'"
Although Fairless has had success with this blank-slate, multi-voice planning model in several previous congregations and consults with churches around the world through her nonprofit ministry, Children at Worship (childrenatworship.org), she is the first to admit that the process isn't easy.
"The hardest part is doing the developmental work with an entire congregation, to form a congregation that really takes seriously the idea of the priesthood of all believers," she said. "It's religious education in the truest sense of the word religio, to connect. The point is to come together as a community and to celebrate the connection of the community to the sacred."
For now the traditional worship service at St. Andrew's is replaced one Sunday per month by a "Come with Joy" worship service. While this service contains the traditional Episcopal elements of worship and uses the lectionary and Book of Common Prayer for direction, those elements take on new, creative forms that are woven through the service, based on the efforts of that service's "design team."
For example, one "Come with Joy" service focused on the story of Phillip baptizing the Ethiopian eunuch in Acts 8. The story was read by a narrator, and an adult played Philip and a young person played the Ethiopian. The drama was complete with baptism in a small pond that had been hand-built in the worship space by the design team. Following the story, the congregation was invited to renew their baptismal vows and then shared Communion.
"The pond was stunning and beautiful, the drama was simple, and it was intergenerational," Fairless said. "Everything supported that theme of renewal, reshaping, and the inclusivity brought in the person of Jesus."
In the week before the "Come with Joy" service each month, Fairless spends time in the children's class talking with them about ways they can participate in the service. In addition to sitting in the worship service itself, participation may include making a banner to support the story, taking part in the drama, singing in the service, or helping to write prayers.
"The model mixes generations," Fairless said. "It's about an entire community being involved in the design and offering of worship, from adults to the smallest children. More than education, it is spiritual formation."
Angie Ward is a Leadership contributing editor living in North Carolina.
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