How many sermons have you heard (or preached) in the last year on marriage, children, parenting? And how many have been on singleness? If your experience is anything like mine, the disparity is probably pretty great. With the exception of a few strong singles ministries at the largest churches, single Christians often find their struggles–and blessings–neglected at the expense of the married couples and families.
So many churches are structured around the family unit, and that’s a good thing. Families are important, and for the majority of people in most churches this is the context in which spiritual formation happens. But this is not true for everyone. And single people also need to know how they fit into the church, and how God speaks into their particular situation. This begins in the pulpit.
I was actually surprised to learn that John Stott, the evangelical statesman who recently died, never married in his 90 years. In an article for Christianity Today, Al Hsu shares Stott’s wisdom on singleness in the church, and there is much wisdom for church leaders looking to better address the topic.
In the piece (which is adapted from the full interview in Hsu’s book, Singles at the Crossroads: Fresh Perspectives on Christian Singleness) Stott touches on many aspects of singles that will instruct pastors on how they can best address the subject, including how to balance the “goodness” of both marriage and singleness, reasons people remain single, and viewing singleness as a gift from God.
Stott also talks about an issue that plagues both single and married people, and, as he notes, pastors in particular: loneliness. He says:
God created us as social beings. Love is the greatest thing in the world. For God is love, and when he made us in his own image, he gave us the capacity to love and to be loved. So we need each other. Yet marriage and family are not the only antidotes to loneliness.
Some pastors work on their own, isolated from their peers, and in consequence are lonely. But the New Testament plainly envisages that each local church will have a plural oversight. See, for example, Acts 14:23 and Titus 1:5. So in All Souls Church in the heart of London we have always had a team ministry, and we have found it an enormous enrichment. I have also been greatly blessed by Frances Whitehead, my faithful secretary for more than 40 years, and by the “apostolic succession” of my study assistants.
This is wonderful advice for all ministry leaders, single or not. As much of a blessing as family can be, God’s vision of community extends beyond the family. How is your church encouraging a culture that pushes back against loneliness outside of the family context?
