Gen Z men are going to church and taking an interest in the Bible at a rate many never expected. For pastors, this is an opportunity—and a responsibility—to reach a generation that many have assumed would never take Jesus seriously. A faithful missionary approach does two things: It both connects and confronts the culture. It is no different with young men. We must understand their language, recognize their pressure points, and demonstrate to young men that Jesus offers something far better than what they’ve been chasing.
So when you meet them in a coffee shop, at the gym, or in the lobby of your church, what do they need to hear from you? They need to hear that the good news of Jesus is relevant to the issues they’re already preoccupied with. They need the truth about sex, money, power, wisdom, and your affection for them, specifically, and their generation, generally. The five headline phrases below speak into their confusion, confront their cynicism, and offer a better story than the one the world offers them.
1. Sex is good.
Gen Z is having less sex than prior generations. Are they more committed to God and his holiness than their parents or grandparents? No. The highly online incel community is incensed about perceived double standards between men and women in romance and dating. They are sexually frustrated and addicted to porn. Porn creates shame, shame creates distance, and from that distance, young men end up with a twisted relationship to their own sexuality, vacillating between obsession and contempt.
Who can deliver from this body of death? The secular world offers its own “rescue” from the confusion. “Red pillers” swoop in with an easy answer: Posture yourself as a victim of feminism and take no responsibility for your station in life. Find your identity in angry online communities or give up on sex altogether. Some—like Andrew Tate, the mouthpiece of the redpillers—even say that enjoying sex is somehow weak or “gay.”
Let’s be clear: Chastity is good. But that isn’t what we’re dealing with here—it’s bitterness. And unless we style ourselves Gnostics, chastity isn’t God’s design for the vast majority of people. Sex was God’s idea. He could have made us reproduce like cells through mitosis or like sea stars through asexual means, but instead he beautifully designed a covenantal practice—the act of love—as the way of creating life. Not only is it sacred, he made it enjoyable too. The Song of Songs doesn’t once mention reproduction, yet this biblical book celebrates the good of consensual and mutually edifying sex within marriage. Desire for sex isn’t bad. Lust is.
When young men are taught that sex is good and holy as God designed it, shame begins to lose its grip. They grow more willing to walk in the open, to tell the truth about their sexual histories, and to pursue relationships marked by honor and delight. This kind of clarity changes how they date, how they marry, and how they see themselves. Relationships will cease to feel like either traps or trophies and begin to carry the sacred weight and promise they were designed to.
2. Money is good.
Some Christians are so wary of greed that they become scared of money itself. We react against the evils of the prosperity gospel so strongly that we’ve become allergic to any kind of prosperity. We focus so much on heaven that we forget Earth is every bit as much God’s good creation.
The desire to provide for one’s family, as 1 Timothy 5:8 commands, is good. Wanting to build generational wealth is the mark of a wise man: “A good person leaves an inheritance for their children’s children” (Prov. 13:22). Of course, lifestyle creep and consumerism are traps to avoid, but swinging entirely the other way to a poverty gospel is not the answer. Young men who apply measured focus on their careers, pursue wealth, and seek to leverage their time, talent, and treasure for the good of their future grandkids may simply be wisely planning ahead.
If rich men committed to generosity made the burial of Jesus possible (Matt. 27:57), so also might a young man in your church become wealthy and do wonderful things for the kingdom of God when discipled well. Do not dampen the career and financial aspirations of young men; instead, give them a compelling vision for what it looks like to use money wisely and generously.
When men understand the value of money without worshiping it, they become steady planners and more cheerful givers. Their decisions ripple outward—into homes, churches, and quiet corners of need that might otherwise go unseen.
3. Power is good.
God is omnipotent, but man is potent. Without power, there is no movement, no improvement, and no participation in purpose. A man who fears or rejects power is like a car that’s against gas or an iPhone that refuses to be charged.
Power can certainly be misused, and when it is, it destroys good things. But unused power also destroys. Consider a swimming pool that never runs its pump; it’ll swiftly become a swamp, inhabitable only for larvae and algae.
Power is influence—the capacity to make an impression, a dent, to get your fingerprints on something. The power of gravity leaves behind footprints. It marks all it touches. This is why we talk of one’s “gravitas” when they leave an impression on others and make a difference in the world.
Abuse of power is horrendous, but abdication of it is likewise dishonorable. God’s kingdom requires ambassadors—people who leverage who they are to advocate for the culture of the city of God over and against the culture of the city of man. Action requires energy, and energy is literally power.
When a man stops running from the strength he’s been given, he gains a steady presence. He notices what needs doing—and does it faithfully. This is how families are protected, churches are strengthened, and justice is carried out.
4. Sin is stupid.
No one wants to be a fool. Everyone wants to be wise. Look no further than Gen Z and their younger millennial peers to find a rising interest in the Stoics—philosophers of old and wisdom-lovers. (Philo-Sophia literally means “love of wisdom” in Greek.) This hunger for wisdom is an opportunity. While younger generations might be resistant to moralizing or “traditionalist” ethics, we can help them see God’s law differently. Frame it not as mere nomos (Greek for “rules”) but as torah (Hebrew for “instruction”)—specifically, fatherly instruction. These are the words of the Father telling us about the world he created. Resisting God’s teaching isn’t just wrong; it is foolish and stupid. To sin is to self-sabotage. To sin is to go against the grain of reality. Sin is insanity. God’s Word will save your life and make it new: Come learn and listen to the wise words of your Father in heaven!
Clear and convicted teaching helps a young man stop thinking of sin as just arbitrary guilt and see it for what it is—destruction in disguise. Wisdom becomes more than an ideal; it becomes a daily choice, shaping his habits, his words, and his view of how to live in his Father’s world.
5. I love you.
To be under-fathered is a deep loss, and many Gen Z boys and men haven’t just been under-fathered, but unfathered altogether. Relational wounds can only be healed relationally. Too many baby boomers, Gen Xers, and millennials carry a smug disdain for the next generation rather than paternal affection for the heirs of the household of God.
Saying “I love you” is a good start, but showing “I love you” is even better. See the potential in a young man. Have eyes of faith for him when he can’t see it himself. Believe in his capacity to grow, to love, and to contribute wonderfully to the world, then speak words of blessing to repair what was wounded or never developed in him. Like a father who cheers on his son when he takes his first steps and subsequently falls, pastors are cheerleaders for young men who take steps of faith in the midst of their faltering.
Sometimes, in an effort to call young men to cling to God, we end up hurting them instead by withholding our affection or dismissing their need for mentoring and fatherly support. We teach young men to receive the Father’s love by loving them like the Father does.
The young man who finally hears “I love you” and believes it doesn’t stay the same. He changes. He begins to show up—for his friends, his family, and his church. Instead of staying guarded, he becomes a shelter for others. And the love he receives, he learns to give.
The Same but Different
These five truths form a foundation for reaching and discipling Gen Z men. Ministering to them isn’t altogether different than it was for previous generations. The gospel hasn’t changed, and neither has the need for faithful, present shepherds.
At the same time, digitization, influencer culture, and widespread fatherlessness have created different pain points and gaps in their formation. They’ve shaped how these young men think, relate, and grow. But those gaps aren’t just obstacles—they’re opportunities. They are handles we can grab when we’re seeking to pass the faith on to the next generation of young men who will eventually be the elders holding the keys to our churches long after we are gone.
Seth Troutt is the teaching pastor at Ironwood Church in Arizona. His doctoral studies focused on Gen Z, digitization, and bodily self-concept. He writes about emotions, gender, parenting, and the intersection of theology and culture. He and his wife, Taylor, have two young children.
