When Gracy David first moved to the city of Jaipur in India’s Rajasthan state for an architecture internship nine years ago, the then-23-year-old was nervous.
It was her first time living away from her family and paying for her own rent and food with her small stipend. She didn’t know many people in the city and, beyond her work, had no plans in the evenings or weekends.
Yet through the Union of Evangelical Students of India (UESI), three Christian families in Jaipur welcomed her into their homes, giving her a “soft landing into adulting,” David recalled. They picked her up to attend church and invited her to Sunday lunches.
One couple hosted Bible study for about 15 to 20 college students and young professionals every Saturday. After the study, the young people would hang out late into the evening, and the couple even invited them to stay overnight, David said. One room in their home was always reserved for guests or anyone new to the city. The couple, who had two sons in middle school, celebrated each Bible-study member’s birthday with a homemade cake, and David and her friends had an open invitation to come over to cook, talk, or sing.
“I was never hard-hit by loneliness thanks to the open homes that welcomed me,” said David, whose parents also opened their home to students when she was young.
UESI, which is affiliated with the International Fellowship of Evangelical Students, was founded in 1948 as a professor in Tamil Nadu started opening up his home to students for prayer and Bible studies to deepen their faith. As UESI grew, the concept of “open homes” became a core part of the ministry; married couples provided mentorship, discipleship, and a home away from home for students and new grads. The program is also a channel through which the ministry is combating loneliness among young people, a growing issue as a 2021 survey found that 4 in 10 urban Indians felt lonely most of the time.
Yet for the families that decide to participate in open homes, it’s not always an easy sacrifice. In recent years, demanding jobs, a growing generation gap, and busy students have led to a decrease in the number of open homes. Still, some couples, like C. S. and Shyla Mahind, who have hosted an open home in Bengaluru for the past two decades, believe it’s a worthwhile sacrifice.
“An open home lets you get to the point of talking to people at a very deep level, at a heart-to-heart level. It allows a person to open up, lower their guards, and feel acceptance,” C. S. said. “More importantly, in an open home, [students] have the opportunity to verify the authenticity of the claims made by the host.”
Although evangelicals make up less than 2 percent of India’s population, UESI operates in almost every state in India and holds Bible-study fellowships in and around college campuses. Today, it serves about 13,000 students and young professionals, according to a report from UESI’s annual general meeting.
On a recent April night at the South Bengaluru home of Sunil Joy and Gladlyn Deboret Suthakar, seven college students settled down on the couch, rug, and dining chairs for the week’s Bible study. One student led a lively discussion on Romans 1 before the group gathered to eat a homemade dinner of egg curry, rice, and dal (Indian lentil curry).
Sometimes students will stay as late as 3 a.m. to have deep conversations about their faith, the couple said. Other times a student will come alone for a one-on-one conversation about emotional struggles. Joy said that on average the couple spends about two to three days a week ministering to students and currently mentors four of them.
Joy and Suthakar started opening up their home last year after they got married. Suthakar joined UESI in college while Joy got involved as a new grad. The two met through their UESI mentors and, after they married, decided they wanted to provide the same care and environment for the next generation of students.
As a new host family, they receive training from more experienced couples on how to mentor students. At times, juggling work and student ministry can get challenging, as Joy works as a software engineer and Suthakar is a doctor. When Suthakar had to take an exam, she took a two-month break from the ministry. They still kept their home open for students to visit individually, and other families in the area volunteered to host Bible studies.
Joy and Suthakar also noted that they have had to consciously set boundaries to prevent the ministry from consuming their marriage.
“Sometimes our conversations become entirely about students and ministry and camps. Then we consciously decide to speak about other things,” Suthakar said. “Having these kinds of boundaries within our conversations and during the time we spend together has been helpful.”
Elsewhere in Bengaluru, Shyla and C. S. said they first decided to host an open home in 2005 because they believed it was a way to obey the biblical commands to welcome the stranger and to make disciples. C. S., who joined UESI while in college, introduced his wife to the ministry. While in the beginning Shyla didn’t know how to host and engage with students, she now loves seeing them grow.
Shyla remembers when a young woman, a seeker from another faith, moved to Bengaluru for college and struggled with loneliness during weekends.
“Friday evening to Sunday evening was the most difficult period for her because her roommates would go out with their boyfriends [and] come back with stories of fancy dates and expensive gifts,” Shyla recalled. So she invited the student to stay at their house on weekends. For a whole year, the student would spend the weekend with their family, attending church with them on Sundays before she went back to college on Monday morning. The student ended up becoming a strong Christian and now has her own family.
“At that time, if I had avoided [opening my home to her], thinking every weekend was too much, I don’t know where she would have been,” Shyla said.
C. S. noted that while an Open Home doesn’t mean the couple is available 24-7, it’s “an attitude that says, ‘When there’s a problem, my doors are open.’” By building trust with the students, the couple can create an “atmosphere that will give young people the freedom to reach out without hesitation,” he added.
Another time, Shyla received a call from a young woman who was in tears. She had gotten drunk and had a one-night stand, and she wanted to see Shyla. Shyla invited her to their home immediately to counsel her and comfort her. “In such situations, I cannot say, ‘Oh it’s a weekday; I don’t have the time,’” Shyla said.
Yet the couple also faced challenges with the demands of an open home when their son was young. Most students were free on Saturdays, but that was also the time the family could spend together. So during the week, Shyla made an effort to take her son on walks and spend extra time with him. Still, he struggled.
“At one point in his teenage years, he even said that he wanted nothing to do with his parents’ God because they were so sold-out for students,” said Shyla. Now, with their son an adult, his parents say he loves his childhood and claims the renunciation was part of his teenage rebellion. Yet Shyla stresses the need for families hosting open homes to prioritize their kids.
They also had to set strict boundaries, especially as college girls would come and sometimes stay overnight in their house. Shyla made sure there was no touching or long interactions between her then-teenage son and the college students and that the women dressed modestly in the home.
Hosting an open home also comes with financial costs. At times, C. S. and Shyla have loaned students money for college fees or chipped in for medical emergencies. The couple had to budget their own household expenses more tightly so they could help students out.
“When you walk alongside a person’s spiritual journey, there may be financial struggles on the way,” C. S. said. “You cannot say that ‘I’ll be there only for spiritual things and nothing else.’”
Theophilus John Thota, a staff member of UESI, noted that with rising living costs and more households where both spouses work long hours, setting up open homes in big cities is becoming increasingly difficult. Some young people are also less willing to open up to older couples, as they fear being judged or exposed to gossip. Students are also becoming busier and less available, Suthakar noted. With more and more Indian universities adopting rigorous schedules and frequent exams, students have little time to attend Bible studies and camps, including discipleship or leadership trainings that take place in couples’ homes.
Sometimes, only one student shows up for Bible study at Joy and Suthakar’s home. “It’s disappointing at times, but we know that not all students are always interested, and we try to reach out to them and understand any hindrances they may be facing,” said Joy.
For David, the open-home experience in Jaipur exposed her to a less-legalistic Christian environment than the church she grew up in. The open home in Jaipur was also a space where she could discuss more controversial topics like homosexuality and dating, which her church back in Indore never touched on.
A few months ago, David got married, and now she and her husband plan to open up their own home. Having grown up in an open home and then having experienced the warmth of open homes in Jaipur, David always imagined continuing the tradition after marriage.
“When I met my husband for the first time, for about an hour I only spoke about open homes and how I’d like to have one after getting married,” David said.
