For more than a decade, Cecilia Karanja of Nairobi, Kenya, struggled to have children.
She married three times, with two marriages ending in divorce due to physical abuse and abandonment due to infertility.
The pastors at her Pentecostal church in Nairobi, encouraged Karanja to fast and pray to get pregnant. Once, a pastor prophesied she would have a baby. She didn’t.
She tried attending the church of a well-known TV preacher who promised miracles. That didn’t work either. Karanja said she couldn’t face her church friends or attend baby showers. She felt like less of a woman. Many people assumed she’d had abortions in the past and then could not conceive.
“You feel incomplete; everywhere you go, you feel that people are discussing you,” she said.
Karanja first got married in her mid-20s. She and her husband tried for years to get pregnant before finding out her husband was infertile due to a low sperm count. Karanja left him after he started to beat her. Eight months later, she married again. Her second marriage ended in divorce six years later after her husband’s friends and relatives convinced him she could not have children. He left her for another woman.
When other women introduced themselves by referencing their children’s names, Karanja couldn’t do the same.
“At times, I would just cry and cry in the house,” Karanja said. “In church, when people are giving testimonies of how God has blessed them with children, I would feel so terrible.”
Karanja said the church doesn’t openly discuss infertility. Cultural stigmas make childlessness a topic reserved for whispers, not public conversation, in Kenya. Because of this, many infertile men and women don’t get needed medical or pastoral care.
Infertility affects 1 in 5 couples in Kenya, totaling 4.2 million people, according to All Africa. Sexually transmitted infections are a leading cause of infertility in the country, as well as parasitic infections from contaminated water. Infertility levels in Sub-Saharan Africa have reached as high as 30–40 percent.
Myths and mistaken beliefs about the causes of infertility, such as witchcraft and possession by evil spirits, lead couples to delay treatment while they turn to religious or traditional healers. Some of those stigmas also linger in churches.
“Cultural or religious misconceptions can make couples feel isolated or judged,” said Isaac Kimani, pastor of Kingdom Seekers Fellowship in Nairobi. “[Infertility is] often treated as a private struggle rather than a communal concern in the church.”
When churches do talk about infertility, they can oversimplify the problem, said Matthew Okeyo, pastor of Africa Inland Church in Milimani, Nairobi. In Karanja’s experience, church leaders would encourage prayer and fasting but provide little counseling or guidance about ethical medical options. “The church has spiritualized this issue instead of looking at the social, psychological and practical part of it,” he said.
When couples do look into medical solutions—such as surgery to repair blocked fallopian tubes or medication to stimulate ovulation or increase sperm count—costs can prohibit them from getting treatment. For example, surgeries for female infertility can cost between 250,000 and 500,000 Kenyan shillings ($1,800 to $3,900 USD). A Kenyan worker’s average monthly salary is 37,000 shillings (about $280 USD).
Because of the stigma surrounding female infertility and the high cultural emphasis on having children, some men turn to divorce or polygamy as a solution. In 2014, Kenya legalized polygamy for men who follow Islam or traditional religions. Wives do not have to consent. Christian and civil marriages are supposed to remain monogamous under law, but even these couples sometimes turn quietly to other sexual partners. Some practice polygamy unofficially. Some infertile men allow their wife to have sex with male friends to conceive a child.
John Daau of the Episcopal Church of South Sudan said the common practice of polygamy in Africa has affected even the clergy. “Some Christians, including ordained ministers, have chosen to marry second wives due to childlessness and the stereotypes associated with it in our African context,” he said. Church leadership and congregations usually expect these pastors to step down, but some refuse despite biblical injunctions against church leaders having more than one wife (Titus 1:6; 1 Tim. 3:2).
Meanwhile, some leaders say churches should develop more robust ministries to childless couples. “The pastoral care ministers should be committed to provide continuous services to the infertile couples through counseling, preaching, public and private prayers,” wrote Christian scholar Richard Muasya.
While many Kenyan churches hold health talks about issues such as mental health and HIV/AIDS, these presentations rarely feature infertility. Muasya argued that churches’ spiritual care for those affected by infertility should not be a one-off event.
Cecilia Karanja agrees. Despite feeling unsupported at church, her faith kept her going. After seeing a doctor, she learned she had blocked fallopian tubes. She decided to pursue surgery to have them unblocked, planning to go to South Africa if she couldn’t have it done in Kenya.
In 2010, Karanja raised enough money to have surgery. She arranged with the specialist to pay it off in installments, using what she made from running a secondhand furniture business. The surgery was successful. She later married her third husband, Benson Karanja, and gave birth to three children. She said she hopes churches will educate their congregations about infertility to reduce the stigma and misinformation about the subject.
“Let pastors talk about solutions, not only praying,” Karanja said. “Let them invite doctors, and people like me, to talk about the problem of infertility.”
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