Mere change energizes me, even when the change means demanding work.
—Maxie Dunnam
I was scheduled to get away from the church for two weeks—study leave and vacation. But I was a little uncomfortable as I got in my car.
As usual, I was leaving with a few ends not neatly tied up: some committees were in the middle of making important decisions, some people needed visiting in the hospital, and I wasn’t sure how well the guest preachers I had lined up would be received.
On top of that, some people were not particularly happy with me—not a good situation for a pastor who had been at the church only about a year.
One of our part-time staff members was discovered to have cancer, and we had held a prayer service for her healing. Since healing services were something new to our church, some members, who were already questioning how Methodist their new minister was, saw this as the final straw.
Even though I felt unsettled, I was determined to get away. I rationalized to myself. Everything will take care of itself.
It’s tough to get away from the church for vacation, study leave, or retreats. Many pastors feel a twinge of guilt leaving: Is this really going to be best for the church? Many members feel the church runs on three cylinders while we’re gone. And if there’s any trouble brewing, we’re not sure what we’ll come back to.
Still we know, from experience and from the advice of others, that getting away is absolutely vital. How to do it smoothly, with a minimum of disruption to the church, and productively, with a maximum of refreshment for me, is the question. Here are a few things I’ve discovered.
Periodic Pep Talks
When we’re feeling the pressure of daily ministry, we’re not inclined to plan a getaway. Or if we have planned one, as the time approaches, we begin wondering if it’s an appropriate time to take off. We just can’t imagine how the church can get along without us for two weeks!
Put that way it sounds silly, but when we’re in that frame of mind, it seems to make sense. The best antidote to such thinking is to remind myself periodically of what getting away does for me and the congregation.
1. It renews my energy. Most of us get the physical rest we need; what we lack is emotional and mental rest. Just as farm fields are maximized by rotating crops, so a change can refresh us. Winston Churchill said that a change is as good as a rest. I’ve found that to be true for me.
Change energizes me even when the change is demanding work. When I write for publication, for instance, the work is often painstaking, but it refreshes me. The interlude away from people and the intellectual challenge provide emotional refuge. I’m able to turn my mind away from weighty church problems, and it’s not long before I feel lighter.
2. I see the big picture again. The obligations and demands of people in need, an organization to be led, and the weekly sermon to be created consume great amounts of energy. If I do not disengage, I soon begin to narrow my sights to what’s around the next bend. I forget the long-range goal of the journey I’m on.
Times away, though, return my long-range vision. My study retreats, in which I plan out my sermons for six months to a year, strengthen me immensely even though they are hard work. Just seeing what I’ll be preaching in the coming months makes me enthusiastic for the future.
3. I grow in my pastoral skills and confidence. One pastor I know was struggling with his preaching. His personnel committee had told him some months earlier to give his preaching more attention. He’d been reading and reflecting for months, but he wasn’t sure he was making progress.
He decided to take a seminar in preaching. As part of the course, he was to write and present the first few minutes of a sermon. One seminar leader, one of the premier preaching professors in the nation, told him, “I can tell you’re a good preacher.” The pastor was elated. He knew he would never become superb, but he got the outside affirmation he needed to regain his confidence.
I take two, two-week study leaves each year. My people are always excited and affirming when I return. They can tell the difference it makes in my preaching.
4. My passion for ministry is renewed. One youth pastor I know found himself becoming increasingly discouraged with his ministry. He couldn’t point to anything specific, but he didn’t seem to be enjoying it any longer.
When he told this to a group of colleagues he met with regularly, the first question they asked was, “Have you taken a day off lately?”
“Well, sort of,” he replied.
“What do you mean ‘Sort of’?”
“Well, I usually get part of Monday to play golf.”
“But have you gotten any sustained break from ministry, for a minimum of 24 hours?” they pestered.
He said he hadn’t, and they gently scolded him to do so.
Soon afterward, he found an old, beat-up, ten-speed bike at a garage sale. He put ministry on hold for about a week as he dismantled, sanded, and painted the frame, repacked the bearings and oiled the gears.
To this young man’s surprise, he found his passion to fix a bike had fixed his lack of passion for ministry. Once again he was excited about his work with youth.
A deliberate break, even a short one, relieves us from the dullness-producing pressure of a demanding routine.
5. The congregation appreciates me more. The old adage is true: absence makes the heart grow fonder. Church members are happy for a break as well. They enjoy hearing another preacher or two: it’s a new voice, with new inflection, and fresh illustrations! But the guests are not their pastor. And even though they happily live without him or her for a few weeks, that’s the pastor they want back.
Break Signals
Given the nature of our work, we can’t wait until we’re exhausted and then just take off. Besides, I’ve found that physical fatigue isn’t the only signal that I need an oasis. Still, we need to monitor our rhythms so that we can better plan our vacations and retreats. Here are signs that tell me I’m not getting enough time away.
• Relational dullness. I fail to pick up on people’s emotions and relational signals. I lose my sensitivity to what people need and expect of me. I notice it first with my wife and then with staff.
Recently my wife asked when I had last seen Dr. Long, my ear-nose-and-throat specialist. My throat flares up now and then, especially when I’m under unusual stress and have a heavy speaking schedule. I assumed she was concerned about my throat.
When I told her I had been in to see him recently, she immediately asked, “Did he check your hearing?” She had spoken to me several times that night, and I had not responded. She was naturally concerned.
The problem was not my hearing, however, but my dulled sensitivities. Times like these are sure signs that I need a change of pace.
• Mental sluggishness. My thoughts come slowly; I’m not creative; I lack enthusiasm for even my favorite activities. I even find it difficult to participate in normal conversation.
This year we inaugurated a new leadership/management style in our church. Our administrative board is the ruling body of the church and numbers 155, but since we had found that group too cumbersome, we instituted a new working group of fifteen, an executive committee.
At the first meeting I was sluggish in sharing the vision. The meeting lacked life and direction. I thought. Boy, we may have made a big mistake in instituting this new style of administration.
The second meeting, however, was a joy. The people were excited. We made three big decisions. There was a sense of spiritual discernment and openness.
I reflected later on the difference. I had been worn-out at the first meeting. I had come through our General Conference (regional denominational meeting) which had been a pressure-cooker. I had been mentally and physically exhausted. Before the second meeting, I had had a few days off, had gone to three movies in a week, and was fresh in mind and body.
Overcoming the Difficulties
Getting away is never easy. The pulpit needs to be filled. Emergencies that need the pastor arise. Decisions must be delayed. Staff and volunteers must shoulder extra work. Here’s how I deal with these inevitable difficulties.
• Manage the guilt. The book title When I Relax, I Feel Guilty expresses the feelings of many pastors. Most pastors with strong work ethics can’t help but feel guilty stepping out the door. It may be neurotic guilt, but it’s there nonetheless.
Generally, I’ve learned to dissipate this type of guilt by simply reminding myself of the hours I’ve been putting in as well as the Lord’s permission, nay command, to take periodic rest.
But I still feel guilty when my schedule gets so contorted that I’m out of the pulpit for three or more Sundays in a row. That’s when it’s most inconvenient for the church. And lay leaders rightly worry about visitors who come and don’t get to hear me preach.
This past summer I was away for five straight weeks, and that’s just too long. But there was nothing I could do about it. All I could do was make a note to myself to be especially watchful to minimize consecutive Sundays out of the pulpit.
• Handle the serious emergencies. Most emergencies (illnesses, operations, deaths) can be handled by other staff members or clergy from nearby churches. But I’ve always had a special concern about being out of town when a longstanding member becomes gravely ill or dies. I’ve finally decided that, if at all possible, I’ll return for the funeral.
Sometimes that requires a little creativity. Recently I was teaching at a seminar in Florida when the Bible teacher in our day school, around whom the day school revolved, died after a long battle with cancer. I was torn about what to do, but it turned out that I was able to shift my final presentation so that I could conduct this woman’s funeral.
• Expect to do double duty before and after. Especially in a smaller church, where the pastor is the hub of the wheel, everything from getting the front door unlocked on Sunday morning to making sure the mortgage gets paid can be a vital concern while the pastor’s away.
Hard work before leaving and when I return is the only way to prevent problems and slip ups. That means I line up guest preachers; I make sure someone oversees the Sunday morning worship routines; I line up staff or colleagues from other churches to make hospital calls, if necessary; I check with committee chairpersons about any input they need from me; I temporarily cancel some activities that absolutely need my presence; I brief my secretary on correspondence that needs to be taken care of without me; and on it goes. It’s exhausting just remembering what I have to do.
At times, this doesn’t seem fair. It’s like I’m paying double for a time away that is part of my contract. But I’ve come to see that is just the nature of pastoral getaways.
Making the Most of Getaways
While I was pastoring in Southern California, I once drove several hours to a mountain cabin. I was eagerly looking forward to a mini, three-day study leave. As I unpacked the car upon my arrival, I discovered I had forgotten all my resources and study books. I didn’t even have a Bible!
Fuming inside, I debated whether to make the four-hour round trip for the books. Finally I decided to stay and simply rest, reflect, pray, and meditate. That trip turned out to be one of the most creative times in my entire life.
The fact that I didn’t have books forced me to pursue another agenda, and that turned out to be what I needed more than anything. It was the first time I had experienced a retreat of solitude and prayer. With nothing to read, I could only reflect, pray, be silent, and write. This was such a spiritually renewing experience that ever since, I have regularly taken similar 24- to 48-hour renewal retreats.
That experience serendipitously taught me that as important as it is to have a plan of attack when I get away, I can gain a great deal if I remain open to whatever the experience hands me.
That being said, I still feel that planning well each type of getaway tends to ensure greater success. Here are some of the types of getaways I take and how I arrange them to benefit me the most.
• Study retreats. I’ve never taken a sabbatical and don’t feel the need for one. I think that’s because of the way I arrange study leaves each year.
I schedule two, two-week study periods each year (one Sunday is missed each time), one around Labor Day weekend and the other usually just before Lent. My study retreats are dedicated solely to researching and preparing sermons. I take three or four boxes of books and files, and for fifteen hours a day I read, outline, and write messages.
My schedule on these retreats is flexible, to make the most of my energies and concentration. Some nights, if I’m on a roll, I’ll study until three in the morning and then sleep in. Other nights I’ll eat a nice dinner, take a long walk, go to bed, and then hit the books at six in the morning. I often take long walks as breaks.
Usually I hole up in a condominium where I know I’ll be isolated. Sometimes my wife accompanies me, but if so, she has her own projects.
I don’t do any general reading during study leaves. All my time and energies are focused on the sermons for the months ahead. In my normal schedule, I keep books and magazines nearby and read snatches hear and there.
• Spiritual renewal. As I mentioned above, I now schedule a time for concentrated spiritual reflection every three to four months. For me a spiritual renewal is a day or two in which I attempt to rest physically while focusing my attention spiritually.
Most of my time is spent assessing myself: what’s going on in my family and my life, how I feel about my ministry. I think about what directions I need to be going and decisions I need to make. Such reflection is part of my nightly routine, but these little retreats give me a chance to go much deeper.
For my spiritual retreats to be effective, I’ve found it essential to get away from the house. My study is at home, equipped with a phone, of course. If I stay home, I invariably end up at my desk working on a sermon or some writing project, or I will be interrupted by a call. I need isolation; I need to cocoon so that later I can fly.
Recently I was asked to consider another ministry position. I wrestled with the decision for months but couldn’t get a clear direction. Two weeks before I was to respond, I took off for a prayer retreat, alone. I did not see another person for 48 hours.
During that time I felt a clear direction from the Spirit that I was not to make the move. Without that retreat, I’m not sure I would have had the discernment needed.
• Days off. Thursday is my set day off, but I take that perhaps once a month. Instead, on Saturday mornings I try to finish up last-minute preparations for the Sunday service, reviewing the liturgy, Scripture readings, and hymns—no sermon preparation, though—and then relax for the rest of the day. So, weekly I take about three-fourths of a day off. In addition, every six weeks or so I will take a two-day trip to see my parents.
Having an enjoyable activity—Churchill’s change that refreshes—is important for my time off. In California, my hobby was sailing. Lately Jerry and I have taken up visiting estate sales and auctions, and I have started collecting art, both for pleasure and investment.
But my rhythms and habits have changed over the years. When my children were living at home, I was more careful to mark out a day to be with the family. When the kids were smaller and we lived in California, I would pick them up from school on Friday, and two times a month we would go to the beach, camping in our little trailer, returning Saturday evening.
• Family holidays and vacations. My holidays and vacations revolve around family rituals. Someone said that love is half history and half intuition. When our children (my youngest is now 26) get together to reminisce, more than anything they talk about the rituals.
They remember that when we lived in California, every summer we’d drive cross country back to the South to visit both sets of grandparents. Our children recall how we would stop at one public pool in Arizona so that they could swim.
Each year we also took a “snow vacation,” traveling to the mountains two hours north of us to one of our church camps that was not in use at that time. Every Thanksgiving while in California, we spent time with two pastors’ families, and we would always have a touch football game on Thursday afternoon. The memories of these rituals have become some of the glue of our family. They’ve also been some of the fuel that has energized my ministry.
In addition to vacations, I try to take advantage of conferences or special trips. This summer I will be involved in a meeting in Bulgaria, so Jerry, my wife, is coming with me. We’ll take a week of vacation after the meeting is over.
In addition to defraying some travel expenses, the initial time spent in a meeting helps to begin the process of disengagement from church obligations, so that when the vacation starts, I can more quickly enjoy myself.
If I’ve had a good break from ministry, when I return to the church it takes me a while to get back into the routine. But invariably the juices start flowing once I return to the pace of ministry. The shepherd’s staff feels comfortable in my hand, it tastes sweet to stand in the pulpit, and I once again relish the call God has placed on my life.
Copyright © 1992 by Christianity Today
