As I prepared to leave for a recent speaking engagement, I realized how tired I was, how desperate I was for my own experience of intimacy with God, and how much I needed the very things I would be guiding others into on that day. After 25 years of life in ministry, I had learned to pay attention to such inner dynamics and knew better than to wait for a better time. I packed a simple bag, made overnight arrangements as I drove to the retreat I was leading, and left right from the speaking engagement to enter into 24 hours of silent retreat. That choice alone changed the tenor of the whole week and the whole month that followed.
One of the most important rhythms of my life as a person in ministry is a constant back and forth motion between times when I am engaged in the battle, giving my best energy to taking the next hill and times of retreat when I am not “on” and I do not have to be any particular way for anyone. Times when I can be in God’s presence for my own soul’s sake.
A sobering truth about life in leadership is that we can be very busy and look very important, yet be out of touch with that place in the center of our being where we know who we are in God and what he has called us to do – that place where we are responsive to the voice of God above all others.
When this happens we are at the mercy of all manner of external and internal forces, tossed and turned by other’s expectations and our own inner compulsions. This inner emptiness then becomes the source of frenetic activity that is un-tethered from any kind of grounded-ness in God. This is a scary place for a leader to be.
Christian leaders in particular can have a hard time distinguishing between the work we do for God and time to be with God, resting in him and enjoying his presence. Over time Scripture can be reduced to a textbook or a tool for ministry rather than an intimate personal communication from God to us. Prayer can become an exhausting round of different kinds of mental activity or a public display of our spiritual prowess.
On retreat we are able to be with God with what is true about us in utter privacy. There we can attend to what is real in our own lives – celebrate the joys, grieve the losses, shed tears, sit with the questions, feel our anger, attend to our loneliness – and allow God to be with us in those places. These are not primarily times for problem-solving or fixing because not everything can be fixed or solved. These are times to be in God’s presence and to wait for him to accomplish what is most needed within us.
When we repress what is real in our lives and just keep soldiering on, we get weary from holding it in and eventually it leaks out in ways that are damaging to ourselves and to others. On the other hand, the experience of God’s unconditional love and presence during those solitary times when we are not doing anything is our greatest human need. Such love then becomes the bedrock of our being, the foundation of our true identity and calling. Such rest is deeply restorative, enlivening our leadership and enabling us to bring fresh energy and keen insight to the responsibilities before us.
For several years, the Transforming Center and Zondervan have coordinated a retreat for pastors that preceded the National Pastors Convention. Positive feedback from pastors encouraged us to expand to three retreats in 2007 and 2008. They’re called the National Pastors Retreat – Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership: Finding God in the Crucible of Ministry. The first one begins this Sunday in the Chicago area. The next one occurs just prior to the National Pastors Convention 2008 in San Diego; the last one will take place April 6-8 in the Pittsburgh area.
Although the phrase “You owe it to yourself,” sounds trite, it’s absolutely true. You owe it to every person you serve, in your family, your church, and your community.
Adapted from “A Steady Rhythm: The Not-So-Secret Key to Effective Ministry and Leadership,” Leadership journal, winter, 2007. For more articles like this, visit www.LeadershipJournal.net.
