EUTYCHUS: Letting the Boat Out of the Bag
Nothing has ever stirred the Skyland Independent Church like the recent challenge of providing a new boat for Abe and Florence Higgins, our missionaries to Zaire. Raising the money wasn't a problem, but dealing with the details almost wrecked the church, beginning with choosing a name.
The young people wanted to call it The African Queen, an idea quickly vetoed by the board. The only boat name we found in the Bible was Castor and Pollux (Acts 28:11), but Ken Johnson, our resident mythology expert, zapped that in a hurry. He reminded us that Castor and Pollux were the two sons of Zeus by his mistress Leda, and the church had no business getting involved in that kind of stuff. Displaying his own erudition, Pastor Glenn told us that Castor and Pollux ended up as the constellation Gemini, which prompted the young people to suggest we call the boat Gemini Cricket, eliciting another board veto.
Somebody said we ought to work out an acronym using the name of the church. Everybody looked at Martha Wilson, who spent most of every sermon doing word-search games hidden in her study Bible. She suggested Skyland INdependent Church, United States; but when Pastor Glenn wrote it on the blackboard, it spelled SINCUS—hardly a good name for a boat.
Hiram Penner, our oldest trustee, wanted to know if the boat would be christened by somebody breaking a bottle of diabolical alcoholic beverage on its prow.
The congregation finally referred the matter to the board to decide. In honor of our two Zaire missionaries, the board called the boat Abe and Flo.
THE SCOURGE OF THE CHURCH
As is my practice monthly, I sat down during specifically allotted time to read CT cover to cover. I failed. I was brought up ...1
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