They say tragedies happen in threes. Schoolteacher April Epner (Helen Hunt) learns this the hard way. First, nine months after their nuptials, her boy-man husband Ben (Matthew Broderick) decides this isn't the life he wants. Then, the day after he drops this bomb, April's adoptive mother passes away suddenly. Later that week, April's birth mother finds her—which might not seem like a tragedy until you get a load of Bernice Graves (Bette Midler), a lying, loud-mouthed local talk show host. Okay, maybe tragedy's a strong word, but still … It's the mother of all stressful weeks.
Complicating matters is 39-year-old April's deep longing to become a mom. Despite her adoptive mother's promptings before her death, April doesn't want to adopt. She wants a baby from her own womb, and the person who could help her fill that womb just walked out of her life.
Helen Hunt and Matthew Broderick
With familiar supports gone, April turns to new people in this time of tragedy. There's Frank (Colin Firth), the hunky but jaded single dad of one of her grade school students. Their romance is both hungry and hesitant, quick and complicated by the presence of his two young children. But Frank is a needed big strong man, especially compared with Ben, the wishy-washy guy who left April and is now living with his mom.
And though Bernice is bumbling, she's certainly enthusiastic in her attempts to be April's second mom. After watching a loved one choose to leave, there's definite appeal in someone who very much wants to be in April's life. And though she's boisterous, Bernice is a strong personality to lean on when April's so unsure of herself.
April also turns to God via her strong Jewish faith, continuing rituals and traditions even in her adoptive mother's hospital room before her death.
Bette Midler as Bernice
Just when her life is taking on new order and she dares to hope in new sources of love, April learns she's pregnant by her soon-to-be ex. It seems their breakup sex was successful where their other attempts had failed. While this pregnancy offers the fulfillment of a lifelong dream, it also puts April's budding new romance with Frank to the test. And deception from Bernice puts that relationship on rocky ground as well.
Then She Found Me is based on the bestselling novel by Elinor Lipman and marks the directing debut from Helen Hunt. While Hunt pulls winning performances out of Midler (who thankfully never exudes into shrill territory) and Firth (who walks a wonderfully fine line between brawn and breakdown), I would have enjoyed a bit more from her. I'm grateful Hunt's April doesn't give in to overblown or stereotypical grief, but I would have liked more emotion to help me really get her desperate longing for a child.
The film is also choppy—common in movies adapted from books. There's just so much to squeeze from the pages to the screen that entire chunks have to get dropped out. The unfortunate result is a jerking staccato rhythm, with a few leaps in plot progression. So often the best part of a story is the process of falling in love or grieving a loss, and we miss some of that here when the story needs to speed up on occasion to fit everything in.
April and Frank (Colin Firth)
Case in point: One of the best scenes is when we watch April wrestle with her faith after a loss. It takes another character's strong-arming to get April to even admit and face this spiritual struggle. But this moment when the story's allowed to breathe is delightful and messy and relatable. Ditto another scene when April and Frank acknowledge the danger and disappointment that inevitably accompany love, though I wish we'd been given a few more stops on the journey to see the all-important process of getting to this moment. The same could be said of the emotive ending.
Movies that offer this level of tragedy sprinkled with bits of humor and rays of hope are tough to pull off. It's so easy for them to become cheesy or heavy-handed. Hunt and company deftly avoid these extremes, but I still walked away with the feeling they could have given us a bit more. That said, this is an impressive directorial debut that takes an intelligent look at the ways we survive unspeakable grief and play hide and seek with love. This is an ideal film to find your way to with your mom this Mother's Day.
Talk About It
Discussion starters
Why do you think Bernice seeks out April? What need in others and in herself is she trying to fulfill?
In what ways does April handle her grief that are helpful? Not so helpful? How do you normally handle grief? What's healthy or unhealthy about the way you cope?
In one scene, April questions God's character. What truths or untruths about God is she wrestling with? Have you ever struggled with these same issues and questions?
One character calls God "difficult and complicated." What do you think of these descriptors? What other perhaps surprising adjectives would you add?
Who do you think the title refers to? Who is the "she" and the "me"?
The Family Corner
For parents to consider
Then She Found Me is rated R for language and some sexual content. This adult drama is obviously inappropriate for young children. Themes of divorce, death, and doubting faith are too complicated (and no doubt boring) for younger viewers, though mature teens might find these relatable issues thought provoking and discussion worthy.
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