Time magazine’s April 16 cover story poses a provocative question: Should Schools Bribe Kids?
Before you give “no” as your final answer, consider comments shared by Chyna, an eighth-grader and study participant who received payments. The Time reporter asked her opinion about psychologists’ assertions that children should work hard and do well in school for the love of learning alone. “Honestly?” she asked. “We’re kids. Let’s be realistic.”
While the article neither endorses nor condemns offering students cash to learn, I found this topic fascinating because of the study’s focus—student motivation. The Harvard team that conducted the study wanted to see if money could serve as an incentive that improves academic performance. The research director based his interest in this approach because “unlike reforms focused on the teacher of the curriculum, it treated kids not as inanimate objects but as human beings who behave in interesting ways.”
And kids certainly do behave in interesting ways.
What does this have to do with ministry to children? Plenty.
But only if you answer this question honestly: Have you ever bribed children to participate in your program or gave it serious consideration? Sure, some call the practice a rewards program; the term incentivizing comes to mind. Others file it under “fun activities” intended to keep kids engaged.
One of the interesting ways children behave includes initial receptivity to program bribes. Yes, you read that right: They work. For the short term, at least.
But then another interesting phenomenon occurs—those same bribes become expectations. A child who participates in memorizing Scripture verses to receive a reward tends to forget verses when the incentive goes away. I was that child. Same goes for good behavior. Yes, me again. Even attendance.
That happened years ago. Times have changed—or have they?
One children’s ministry decided to add a surprise, fun element to their summer program and provided a seasonal snack: freeze pops. They wanted to keep the energy high, along with attendance. And they found a place to purchase them in bulk for only a couple of pennies each. The kids loved the frozen snack. The ministry team answered the question “Do we get these next weekend?” with “You’ll have to come and see.”
This ministry experienced solid attendance that summer—although not spectacular—as well as syrup stains on the carpet. Will they do it again? Not sure.
But whether you like it or not, many kids attend a children’s ministry program because it’s where their parents bring them. Kids need motivation. But what if that changed, and you didn’t have to buy a walk-in freezer to store three pallets of freeze pops?
Kids do all sorts of stuff without bribes involved. The secret is to give them something they don’t get elsewhere. Consider, for a moment, why many kids like gym class even if they don’t care for the activities. They likely believe the gym teacher is cool—most of them are, you have to admit—and he or she somehow makes kids feel special. Or why do kids thoroughly enjoy some classes and not others? Many times, you need look no further than a teacher who bonds with and affirms each child in unique ways. And why will a child who meets with a mentor eagerly wait for that special time together each week? Because of the relationship they share.
What would cause kids to love your ministry in a healthy way? It’s not the treats, trinkets, or rewards.
Here’s the likely answer: People. I remember a conference session in which former Saddleback children’s pastor Craig Jutila offered this monumental principle: “Kids keep coming to a ministry because of relationships.”
This means that your energy and focus to create an environment where friendships form will work much better than freeze pops. Your team’s determination to get to know each child, encourage each child, and creatively engage each child will result in a ministry full of kids who love to attend. When that happens, wow! You can stop trying to capture their attendance or acquiescence and, instead, introduce them to God.
Before you throw away the rewards you planned for the summer and curse my name, keep them and use them as planned. That’s right. You need to have fun, after all. However, don’t bank on them to accomplish anything more than fun and forgettable moments. Instead, emphasize over and over to your entire team the importance of kids forming relationships with other children and all of you who run the place. Train them to spot kids who look new, lonely, or shy away from the group for any reason. Help your leaders sharpen their conversation skills. And, just like those gym instructors, make sure you have cool people as teachers—cool in kids’ minds, that is.
Let’s directly answer Time‘s question of whether or not to bribe. In children’s ministry, do it. Bribe them with relationships. That’s what they really want most.
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David Staal, senior editor of Today’s Children’s Ministry, serves as the president of Kids Hope USA, a national non-profit organization that partners local churches with elementary schools to provide mentors for at-risk students. Prior to this assignment, David led Promiseland, the children’s ministry at Willow Creek Community Church in Barrington, Illinois. David is the author of Words Kids Need to Hear (2008) and lives in Grand Haven, Michigan, with his wife Becky, son Scott, and daughter Erin. Interested in David speaking at your event? Click here
©2010, David Staal
