Workers found Benjamin, a 10-year-old boy with autism, wandering around a Fort Lauderdale emergency room, wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt with the words “Chill Out” across the front. Benjamin’s mother abandoned him at the hospital because she didn’t know what else to do. She told a circuit judge that she suffered from bipolar disorder and was too overwhelmed to care for her son. Her attorney explained that she wasn’t a bad parent—just an unemployed, single mom of three who needed help.
Benjamin’s story shows the extreme challenges that come with caring for a child with autism. I would hope our churches would be communities where families like Benjamin’s could find love and support. Yet children and families affected by autism present a difficulty for pastors. Church leaders want to show warmth and hospitality, but often don’t know how to meet the unique needs of people with this disorder. What kind of support would Benjamin’s mom have found at your church? One pastor shared this response: “I know our church needs to do something for the growing number of special needs families, but we don’t know where to begin.”
People with autism have much to offer.
Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) affects communication, processing abilities, and social skills. It’s called a “spectrum disorder” because it includes a myriad of developmental disorders such as classic autism, Asperger’s and Rett syndromes, and pervasive developmental disorder (PDD). One in every 68 children born in the US will be diagnosed with an ASD. But as common as it is, autism remains mysterious to many people. Unless church members have family or friends with ASD, many can’t picture how to include those with autism in their faith community.
God’s creative design for every human being is unique, right down to our fingerprints. Ephesians 2:10 (NLT) reads, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Like all of God’s children, those with autism have much to offer the church.
Yet instead of being valued at church, these families often feel left out. Typical church programs don’t always fit the needs of their children. And people with ASD can be challenging to get to know. Parents often report visiting church after church, searching in vain for a community with the capacity to support their child’s differences.
Churches with successful programs for people with autism take time to train volunteers to break down barriers and make new friends. It isn’t difficult to make small changes over time, and these churches benefit from the talents these children and families have to offer.
One in every 68 children born in the US will be diagnosed with an ASD.
Like many children with autism, Sizwe Mabowe’s behavior problems began in elementary school and were sometimes destructive. After years of therapy, his echolalia (repetition of noises and phrases) decreased and so did his temper tantrums. But he often felt lonely because he couldn’t keep up with conversations.
At age seven, Sizwe acted out by painting graffiti on an indoor wall at his church. Shortly after, his pastor called. The next day, Sizwe had a bucket of white paint in his hand and was covering up his mistake. After he finished the job, the pastor gave him a big hug and some white canvas to draw on the next time he felt creative. Sizwe grew to love church and, to this day, enjoys serving.
Dealing with autism requires flexibility.
Children and adults with autism can learn, but not all do so in the same ways. Church is where every person should discover what it means to be part of the family of God. However, making this a reality requires some planning to meet the unique needs associated with autism.
Most young people with autism can be part of a class of their peers, but some will need one-on-one assistance. Volunteers don’t need to know everything about ASD, but they do need to observe the student and listen to parents and siblings for advice. Pastors can equip their churches with resources such as Special Needs Smart Pages by Joni and Friends—with articles, ideas, and activities to use at church—and “Making Sense of Autism” videos.
Julie Keith, a special needs pastor, says, “Our students with autism grasp God’s love for them and how to share it with others. As I watch them grow, I see that his Spirit is much more powerful than the human mind.” These families teach us how to love, and when we act with the mind of Christ, we have a wonderful opportunity to grow in our own spiritual walk.
Autism calls for a new vision.
Individuals and families living with the challenges of autism will face uncertainty. They need pastors and Christian friends who will remind them they’re not alone.
“The Lord touched our hearts, and we returned to our church knowing we had to do something to help.”
“These families are limited in places they can go within the community to find connection due to the challenges they face,” says Dr. Scott Daniels, a former senior pastor in Pasadena, California. “As our church becomes a genuine community, we’re capable of bringing encouragement and healing. But I wonder what the prospects are for families who don’t have that unique community.”
Pastor Brian Funk had no idea what families of children with autism go through until he was pushed out of his comfort zone. “The summer of 2000 changed my life and ministry,” says Funk. “I was invited to serve as pastor of the week at a Joni and Friends Family Retreat.” The retreat brought together families affected by disabilities for a week of fun activities. “My two teenagers were apprehensive about being there,” Funk says, “but my wife and I were blown away. The Lord touched our hearts, and we returned to our church knowing we had to do something to help.” He formed a task group to help his church take steps to launch a new disability ministry. Two years later, they sent a team of 20 young people to the same retreat, where they received inspiration and training.
Pastors can encourage their churches to reach out to families dealing with autism by creating a welcoming, safe, judgment-free zone where parents can talk openly about their fears and worries, knowing they’ll find encouragement and support. These families need to be reminded that God’s eye is on the sparrow (Matt. 6:26; 10:29–31), and he is surely watching over them and their children as well.
Pat Verbal is the Sr. Manager of Curriculum Development at the Joni and Friends Christian Institute on Disability. She served as managing editor and contributor for the Beyond Suffering Bible (2016), designed to help readers grasp the goodness of God amidst critical questions about suffering.
This article includes portions adapted by permission from Life in the Balance, by Joni Eareckson Tada and Friends (2010), Help a Friend: Autism, by Joni Eareckson Tada (2016), and Special Needs Ministry for Children, by Pat Verbal (2012).
