First and foremost, remember the gospel: Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners, including difficult congregants. Many people are self-absorbed, fearful, and angry because they have not fully comprehended the incredible forgiveness they have in Christ. Keep reminding them in specific ways of who God is, what he is like, and what he has done—and is doing—in their lives. This is what the apostle Paul did whenever he had to address congregants who were struggling with conflict (1 Cor. 1:4–9; Eph. 1:1–3:21; Phil. 4:4; Col. 3:12a).
Second, take time to listen to difficult people (James 1:19). Some of their frustration may be the result of pent-up concerns that no one seems to have taken seriously. Look for the truth in what they are saying (even if much of what they say is inaccurate); have the humility to admit your church’s shortcomings; and take reasonable steps to change things that need changing. As irritating as critics might be, God often uses them to show us areas where we need to grow (Ps. 141:5; Prov. 13:10; 15:31; 17:10).
Third, have the courage to gently but firmly confront unrepentant sin. When people continue to display a critical spirit, the most loving thing you can do is sit down with them and show them gently and specifically how their behavior is contrary to God’s Word and damaging to the vitality and witness of his church (Matt. 18:15; Gal. 6:1–2). It is usually best to start this process one-on-one, but you may need to involve other leaders to break through sinful stubbornness (Matt. 18:16). Above all, remember that the purpose of such confrontation is not to get rid of troublemakers, but to redeem and rescue them from their sin (Matt. 18:12–14).
