As I peered over the mountain of material cluttering my desk-calendar, desk pad, desk Day-Timer, electric pencil sharpener, filing baskets, reminder note pads, standing telephone directory, answering machine, calendar pen holder, future-planning scheduling diary-a strange thought occurred to me: Most of this junk is supposed to help me become more organized!
Since pastors run theirs lives by lists, I made a list of all the things on my desk I could do without. But then I didn’t have the heart to part with any of them. All I produced was another efficiency list to clutter my desk
My desk inventory was not without gain, however. While rummaging I found several lists I had written years ago in an earlier attempt to get organized. Here, then, for your ready reference, are three basic lists a pastor needs. Read them, add to them, subtract from them-but please, don’t leave them lying on your desk.
A Pastor’s Ten Favorite Illustrations
1. Someone else’s big mistake.
2. The bumper sticker I read on the way to church.
3. My last vacation.
4. My kid’s darling, off-the-cuff remark.
5. Anything from Reader’s Digest found while waiting for the doctor.
6. An old joke, which magically becomes “something that happened to a friend of mine.”
7. The story of my only fishing trip, made to sound like an Audubon expedition.
8. The day I won “the big game.”
9. The day I lost “the big game.”
10. The day I finally told the truth about “the big game.”
The Ten Most Overheard Comments at the Door on Sunday Morning
1. “Excellent sermon, Pastor.”
2. “How do you keep coming up with those sermons?”
3. “There was a lot there to chew on.”
4. “Better luck next week, Pastor.”
5. “What was your fifth subpoint of the third main point? I got writer’s cramp and didn’t catch it.”
6. “I liked the part where your toupee feel off [or you lost your notes, or your voice cracked]. A real human touch.”
7. “I stayed awake this week!”
8. “I’m glad Ralph was here to listen to that message.” (From George.)
9. “I’m glad George was here to listen to that message.” (From Ralph.)
10. “We’re glad George and Ralph were here to listen to that message.” (From everybody else.)
Ten Things I Dare Not Lose in Ministry
1. My sanity.
2. My Day-Timer.
3. My breath mints.
4. My voice.
5. My Mondays off.
6. My sermon-preparation time.
7. My parking spot.
8. My favorite board member.
9. My only free night in a month.
10. My spouse’s first name.
-Michael E. Phillips
Lake Windermere Alliance Church
Invermere, British Columbia
Leadership Winter 1988 p. 20
Copyright © 1988 by the author or Christianity Today/Leadership Journal. Click here for reprint information on Leadership Journal.
