As so many abused children learn, without forgiving those who hurt us, we cannot free ourselves from the grip of history. … I have a friend whose marriage has gone through rough times. One night George passed a breaking point and emotionally exploded. He pounded the table and floor. "I hate you!" he screamed at his wife. "I won't take it anymore! I've had enough! I won't go on! I won't let it happen! No! No! No!"
Several months later my friend woke up in the middle of the night and heard strange sounds coming from the room where his 2-year-old son slept. He went down the hall, stood outside his son's door, and shivers ran through his flesh. In a soft voice, the 2-year-old was repeating word for word with precise inflection the climactic argument between his mother and father. "I hate you … I won't take it anymore … No! No! No!"
George realized that in some awful way he had just passed on his pain and anger and unforgiveness to the next generation. … Apart from forgiveness, the monstrous past may awake at any time from hibernation and devour the present–and even the future.
