“Please, sir, may I have some different?” It’s not “more” the average young guy wants today, it’s different.
Psychologist Philip Zimbardo describes drug addiction as “wanting more,” but guys today have what he calls arousal addiction, always “wanting something different.” This never-ending stream of stimulation is behind the growing failure of males to connect with women socially or to succeed academically. They’re dropping out of life.
Zimbardo cites excessive internet use, video gaming, and online porn as causes of this new addiction. By age 21, boys spend 10,000 hours gaming, two-thirds of that time in isolation. The average young man watches 50 porn clips per week.
“Boys’ brains are being digitally rewired in a totally new way, for change, novelty, excitement, and constant arousal,” Zimbardo says. “They’re totally out of sync in traditional classes, which are analog, static, and interactively passive. And they’re totally out of sync in relationships, which build gradually and subtly.” This is creating a generation of young men who do not connect well in traditional teaching situations and who lack social skills especially with women.
