Article

EVERYONE’S EXPECTATIONS, AND OTHER CHURCH PROBLEMS

Many of us think fondly of that dismal, old grey donkey Eeyore in the Winnie-the-Pooh children’s books by A.A. Milne. While lovable and secretly goodhearted, he is usually gloomy and negative, always expecting the worst.

During my twenty-five years as a pastor, I’ve met many people like that. They never accept responsibility because they’re certain they’ll fail. Or, they serve “faithfully” in the church, but gloomily imagine critics in every pew and corner.

Picture for a moment the person who “never receives enough attention,” never initiates friendships, and assumes the church is really run by an inner circle where he or she will never be welcomed. Would you agree that person often sounds like Eeyore in this conversation with Rabbit?

^ “Nobody tells me, ” said Eeyore, “nobody keeps me Informed. I make it seventeen days come Friday since : anybody spoke to me.”

“It certainly isn’t seventeen days—”

“Come Friday,” explained Eeyore.

“And today’s Saturday,” said Rabbit. “So that • would make it eleven days. And I was here myself a week ago.”

“Not conversing,” said Eeyore. “Not first one and then the other. You said ‘Hallo’ and Flashed Past. I saw your tail in the distance as I was meditating my reply. I had thought of saying ‘What?’ – but, of course, it was then too late.”

“Well, I was in a hurry. “

“No Give and Take,” Eeyore went on. “No Exchange of Thought: ‘Hallo – What’—I mean, it gets you nowhere, particularly if the other person’s tail is only in sight for the second half of the conversation.”

“It’s your fault, Eeyore. You’ve never been to see any of us. You just stay here in this corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. Why don’t you go to them sometimes?”

Eeyore was silent for a little while, thinking,. “There may be something in what you say, Rabbit,” he said at last. “I must move about more. I must come and go.”

“That’s right, Eeyore. Drop in on any of us at any time, when you feel like it.”

“Thank-you, Rabbit. And if anybody says in a Loud Voice, “Bother, it’s Eeyore,” I can drop out again.”

We’ve all known other Eeyores. But as I chuckled over this conversation, another thought stabbed me. How much like Eeyore am I? How often do I expect the worst?

Do I anticipate defeat? Do I let that Eeyore-ish gloom dominate my spiritual life; my expectations of my family? Am I prone to suspect there’s a hidden conspiracy in the church to “do things” without me?

In my little comer of God’s forest, have I forgotten Paul’s prayer? “Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (Romans 15:13).

How can I tolerate gloomy expectations when my Lord is Jesus, the God of creation? When my family is in his faithful care? When my church is his church, under his sovereign direction? And—when every Eeyore I know in God’s congregation is his Eeyore?— including me!

—Robert W. Harvey, Pastor Bethel Presbyterian Church

Copyright © 1980 by the author or Christianity Today/Leadership Journal. Click here for reprint information on Leadership Journal.

Posted October 1, 1980

Also in this issue

The Leadership Journal archives contain over 35 years of issues. These archives contain a trove of pastoral wisdom, leadership skills, and encouragement for your calling.

LEADERSHIP FORUM

How can the counseling demands of the 1980s be met by the local church? Five leaders share their observations.

Recycling Pastors*

Good leadership is a limited resource that must be carefully nurtured and renewed. David McKenna advocates a great idea that could go far toward eliminating leadership frustration, waste, and break-down.

IDEAS THAT WORK

MY CHOICE OF BOOKS

Ted Engstrom shares five books that are helping him in ministry.

I've Been Uneasy Since the War

Seeing Yourself as Others See You

A Christian leader tells how he embarked on a self-examiniation program at the onset of his fortieth birthday.

Planting Seeds and Watching them Grow

An interview with Dr. Richard C. Halverson

Comments From the Editor

A Message from the Publisher: October 01, 1980

LEADERSHIP BIBLIOGRAPHY

Pastoral care and counseling

Winter Past: A Struggle For Emotional Health

The case study of a patient and a Christian counselor, plus an analysis of why the therapy worked.

Lay Counselling Within The Local Church

Lay counseling accomplishes many things: it involves members in the work of the church, it provides a fulfilling ministry for lay persons, it takes a load off the pastor. It also solves people’s problems.

A Look at Grief

Tragedy seldom gives warning. A pastor and his wife share how they dealt with a family’s grief.

Ministerial Burn out

Burn out is a common hazard that need not destroy its victims.

Four Philadelphia Churches

It’s not church polity and ecclesiology that make churches work. A caring mood, a Spirit-led harmony of purpose, and a spontaneous outreach to the needy world develop unity out of diversity.

Three Anxieties

A look at pastoral care by a minister who spent six weeks flat on his back.

TIPS, TRENDS & RESOURCES

Small Groups: How One Church Does It

A pastor shares a working model of how Christians can build supporting relationships into each other.

BOOK COMMENTARY

Are You Asking the Right Questions about your Youth Group?

Few youth leaders disagree that there’s a need for effective youth work–it’s the how that causes problems. Here are four questions youth workers should ask themselves about their ministry.

View issue


Our Latest

Apple PodcastsDown ArrowDown ArrowDown Arrowarrow_left_altLeft ArrowLeft ArrowRight ArrowRight ArrowRight Arrowarrow_up_altUp ArrowUp ArrowAvailable at Amazoncaret-downCloseCloseEmailEmailExpandExpandExternalExternalFacebookfacebook-squareGiftGiftGooglegoogleGoogle KeephamburgerInstagraminstagram-squareLinkLinklinkedin-squareListenListenListenChristianity TodayCT Creative Studio Logologo_orgMegaphoneMenuMenupausePinterestPlayPlayPocketPodcastRSSRSSSaveSaveSaveSearchSearchsearchSpotifyStitcherTelegramTable of ContentsTable of Contentstwitter-squareWhatsAppXYouTubeYouTube
Down ArrowbookCloseExpandExternalsearch