As a small church pastor, balancing the demands of personal, family, and ministry responsibilities is a constant challenge. I have discovered that creating healthy boundaries for family and personal life makes me a better pastor, husband, and person. Let me suggest three strategies that have worked for me.
1. Divide each day into thirds.
Years ago I started dividing my workdays into three parts—morning, afternoon, and evening. This plan involves working two-thirds of the day, and using the other third for family and personal needs. Usually I spend the morning on ministry work. If I have a meeting that evening, I schedule time in the afternoon to pick up the girls from school or participate in an after-school activity. Before I head back to church that evening, our family eats dinner together. Of course, that schedule doesn’t always work out, but by intentionally planning for at least one-third of my day for family I am able to give them the attention and love they need from me.
2. Discuss your schedule with your church.
Before I implemented my schedule, I discussed the plan with church leaders. I wanted them to know that I had the same family responsibilities they had. I laid out the plan and assured them that I would be “on the job” two-thirds of every day. I also told them that having the flexibility to attend after-school activities and have dinner with my family was important. Of course, I assured them I always was available for emergencies. When my church understood that I had a plan for giving time and attention to both personal and ministry responsibilities, they offered their support.
3. Take a day off each week and take vacation time each year.
In addition to dividing each workday into thirds, I also take the same day off each week. I consider Sunday one of my workdays, so in addition to Saturdays, I take Fridays off each week. However, when Fridays or Saturdays are taken with ministry to others, I try to schedule some comp time later. My church understands this, and supports my need for a day off each week to do all the things most families do on Saturdays and Sundays.
I take the same approach to vacation time each year. Both church and pastor need time away from each other, so I try to take all of my allotted vacation each year. With intentional planning, honest communication, and good self-management small church pastors can find time for family, personal and ministry responsibilities.
