A few years ago, I had a bedtime routine with my kids that including telling them a story about a boy named Ernie. His adventures were as far-fetched as I could make them: Ernie and the elf. Ernie and the monster. Ernie inside a pinball machine. As absurd as the tales were, the kids hung on every word.
Stories, no matter how old we get, we are captivated by them. Fantasy stories touch a deep place within us that longs for adventure and heroism. True stories, on the other hand, bind us together in shared experience. They forge community. For the Christ-follower, biography can become a type of theology as God is discovered through the meandering journey of one’s life.
The spiritual significance and power of our stories have led our church to develop “Story Groups.” These are small groups that work through a 20-week curriculum designed to help people understand the importance of their life stories in their formation toward Christ-likeness. Story groups are discussion-oriented, with assignments designed to trace the hand of God through our personal history with the ultimate goal of having each person present his or her story. This process may be painful, but also amazingly liberating.
As the group works through the curriculum, each person begins to write the story. They delineate seasons, elaborate on crucial events, relationships, and experiences, and describe the impact these things have had on their hearts. How did it affect his view of God? Did she make vows or changes at certain junctures? How did an event trigger anger, fear, anxiety, or a new desire? Obviously, for some this process will resurrect old wounds and painful memories. But the intent of the Story Group is to journey toward accepting my life as my story. It is a way of facing the truth and embracing it.
A healing process occurs as group members read or share their stories with one another. I have seen initial fears dissolve as people open their hearts and vulnerably share with the group. Many people imagine they are alone in the pain they have experienced, the burdens they carry, and the pressure they feel. But hearing another person’s story helps us recognize our commonality. We suddenly see that we are not alone on the journey. This is both comforting and encouraging.
Of course, whenever people open up in this manner, it can be dangerous. Vulnerability always is, and no amount of covenant-making or contract-signing will reduce the risk. But what is the alternative? Sadly, what we often see in small groups is people hiding the truth about who they are behind inductive Bible studies and a prayer time. While these activities are good, they can keep us hidden. We may never reveal who we really are. But in a Story Group, I am called to share the truth about my life and who I am, while holding firmly to the truth that my identity is in Christ.
Some may wonder, why bother?
If we are new creatures in Christ, if the old is gone and the new has come, why spend so much time focused on the past? But simply because something is “gone” doesn’t mean it cannot affect our lives today. Many people carry their pasts into their present relationships and circumstances. And large numbers of people, knowingly or unknowingly, expend enormous amounts of energy each day fighting the truth of their story. Part of our spiritual growth must include facing the truth about ourselves. The best way to deal with the story of our lives is to turn directly toward it, walk right into the middle of it, and learn, with others, to accept the story as it really is.
Mike Lueken is co-pastor of Oak Hills Church in Folsom, California.
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