The comedian, Emo Phillips, tells…
I was walking along one of the bridges one day when I saw a man about to jump off. I tried to dissuade him from committing suicide and told him simply that God loved him. A tear came to his eye. I then asked him, ‘Are you a Christian or a Jew or a Hindu, or what?’
He said, ‘I’m a Christian.’
I said, ‘Me, too, small world. Protestant or Catholic?’
He said ‘Protestant.’
I said, ‘Me, too, what franchise?’
He said, ‘Baptist.’
I said, “Me, too. Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?’
He said, ‘Northern Baptist.’
I said, ‘Well, me too. Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?’
He said, ‘Northern Conservative Baptist.’
I said, ‘Well, call Ripley! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist or Northern Conservative Reformed Baptist?’
He said, ‘Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist.’
I said, ‘Remarkable! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Eastern Region?’
He said, ‘Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region.’
I said, ‘A miracle! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879 or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?’
He said, ‘Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.’
I said, ‘Die, Heretic!’ And I pushed him over.”
