In a recent TED talk, Psychologist Susan David shares how the way we deal with our emotions shapes everything that matters: our actions, careers, relationships, health, and happiness. In this potentially life-changing talk, she challenges a culture that prizes positivity over emotional truth.
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not anti-happiness. I'm a pretty happy person. But when we push aside normal emotions to embrace false positivity, we lose our capacity to develop skills to deal with the world as it is, not as we wish it to be. I've had hundreds of people tell me what they don't want to feel. They say things like, “I don't want to try because I don't want to feel disappointed.” Or, “I just want this feeling to go away.”
I say to them, you have dead people's goals. Only dead people never get stressed, never get broken hearts, never experience the disappointment that comes with failure. Tough emotions are part of our contract with life. You don't get to have a meaningful career or raise a family or leave the world a better place without stress and discomfort. Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.
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