Acceptance

Not long ago, I was at Williams College, speaking with a fascinating and terrifically observant senior named David Wignall. We were talking about what it was like to be young these days, and he made a point that I’d never considered. “We are the most rejected generation,” he said.

He’s right. He pointed to the admission rates at elite universities. By 1959, about half of American college applicants applied to just one school. But now you meet students who feel that they have to apply to 20 or 30 colleges in the hopes that there will be one or two that won’t reject them. In the past two decades, the number of students applying to the 67 most selective colleges has tripled, to nearly two million a year, while the number of places at those schools hasn’t come close to keeping up.

The same basic picture applies to the summer internship race… I recently spoke with one college student who applied to 40 summer internships and was rejected by 39. I ran into some students who told me they felt they had to fill out 150 to 250 internship applications each year to be confident there would be a few that wouldn’t reject them.

Things get even worse when students leave school and enter the job market… I keep hearing and reading stories about young people who applied to 400 jobs and got rejected by all of them.

It seems we’ve created a vast multilayered system that evaluates the worth of millions of young adults and, most of the time, tells them they are not up to snuff.

Pornography consumption has skyrocketed in recent years, especially among young people. Despite this, many Americans, including Christians, remain unconcerned about its societal effects.

A new report by Barna and Pure Desire reveals that 61% of Americans now view porn at least occasionally, up from 55% in 2015. Even within the church, pastors are more likely to report personal histories of porn use, with nearly 1 in 5 currently struggling.

The report underscores pornography's widespread accessibility, noting that it "touches all segments of society" regardless of age, gender, or religious beliefs. The increased availability of online porn, coupled with factors like social isolation during the COVID-19 pandemic, has contributed to this surge. One recent study suggested 2.5 million people view online pornography every minute, and online porn consumption has increased by 91 percent since 2000.

While some faith-based efforts advocate for legal restrictions on the porn industry, others focus on helping individuals overcome pornography habits. However, the report highlights a significant hurdle: many people, including Christians, simply don't see a problem with it.

Research suggests that frequent porn use can lead to negative mental, emotional, and relational health outcomes. Despite this, many Christians remain comfortable with their own porn consumption. The reports states, “Over three in five Christians (62%) tell Barna they agree a person can regularly view pornography and live a sexually healthy life.” That’s only four percentage points behind the share of all US adults (66%) who don’t consider viewing pornography harmful.

The report also explores the impact of pornography on relationships, particularly between men and women. Women are more likely to report negative effects, including feeling less attractive to their partners. Additionally, the study reveals that young people are increasingly exposed to pornography at younger ages, with the average age of first exposure now 12.

Possible Preaching Angle:

While there are efforts to address the issue, the report emphasizes the need for churches to offer support and resources for those struggling with pornography. By fostering a community where people can find help and healing, churches can play a crucial role in combating the pervasive influence of pornography.

Yale psychologist June Gruber has confirmed the many positive physical, social, and psychological benefits of human happiness. But while working at the University of California-Berkeley she also started to see a dark side to happiness—or at least the pursuit of happiness.

In her clinical language she put it this way: “Happiness serves a specific function, and happiness may not always be adaptive” (that is, happiness might not be the most appropriate or helpful response).

Pursuing happiness is not always a good thing. Paradoxically, studies reviewed by Gruber and colleagues in their recent paper show that people who place the highest value on pursuing happiness tend to be less happy and more prone to depression.

Gruber says,

Setting your sights on happiness as the end goal may inadvertently be setting yourself up for disappointment. If you want to live a rich and happy life, it might be better to stop pursuing happiness so aggressively. Instead, engage in meaningful activities especially those that promote deep connections with others, while trying to [accept] your current emotional state, wherever it is.

Marvin Gaye, one of the most legendary soul singers of the 20th century, produced a series of hit recordings before his untimely death in 1984 from gun violence. But now, 40 years later, the world may experience a new set of never-heard recordings from the singer. “We can open a time capsule here and share the music of Marvin with the world," says Belgian lawyer Alex Trappeniers.

Assuming, of course, that ongoing legal proceedings can resolve their legal ownership. Trappeniers is the attorney for the family of Charles Dumolin, with whom Gaye once lived. Gaye moved to Belgium in 1981, to escape a cocaine habit he’d picked up living in London. While living with Dumolin, Gaye regained his health, and returned to recording. Some of the recordings he made during that time have never been released, and their potential value has only skyrocketed in the decades since his death.

And since Gaye gave them to the family, Trappeniers says, they should remain the family’s estate. He said, “They belong to [the family] because they were left in Belgium 42 years ago. Marvin gave it to them and said, 'Do whatever you want with it' and he never came back.”

The problem is, the Belgian law that would support the family’s custodianship of the physical tapes does not necessarily apply to intellectual property contained therein. If the heirs of the Gaye estate lay a claim to his music, the family could possess the recordings without a legal right to release them commercially. The Gaye family could legally own the music, but have no access to the tapes that contain them. Without a resolution, a legal stalemate would result.

Trappeniers says some kind of compromise and collaboration is necessary to bring Gaye’s new music to life. “I think we both benefit, the family of Marvin and the collection in the hands of [Dumolin's heirs]. If we put our hands together and find the right people in the world, the Mark Ronsons, or the Bruno Mars. ... Let's listen to this and let's make the next album.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

Cooperation; Partnership; Teamwork; Unity – Much can be accomplished in any area of society where there is collaboration instead of competitiveness. This is what Paul told the Corinthian church, “I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree together, so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be united in mind and conviction” (1 Cor. 1:10-17).

Dr. Joe Carella, Sport Psychology Consultant with the NBA’s Orlando Magic addresses what to do "When you see yourself differently than your boss does."

Anyone who gets drafted in the NBA feels like they're going to be an all-star with a long career ahead of them. Perhaps you think of yourself as a primary scorer, the guy you give the ball to at the end of the game to make the bucket to win. The coach, however, sees you primarily as a defensive player. You can either fight or accept that.

I work with the players to accept their coach's vision and to develop the skills to excel in that role. If you don't take advantage of the opportunity you're given, you may regret it for a long time. Interestingly, this is much less of a problem with veteran players. When you're a rookie who might not want to recognize or accept your limitations, it's hard. Unfortunately, the guys who don't develop greater self-awareness are more likely to resist change, and their NBA careers are shorter and don't match their potential. But the players who find a way to be dependable while embracing the challenge of changing perceptions are the ones with long, fulfilling careers.

Possible Preaching Angle:

In the Christian walk, our "Coach" ultimately decides what position we will play and our role on his team. His vision for our life is always the right one. Leaning into it, and not wasting our time trying to be someone else, is the best was to find true success.

According to Alyssa Mercante at video game site Kotaku, many gamers today lament what they perceive to be woke culture running amok. According to them, the multiethnic casting of central characters must be a result of diversity consultants forcing racial quotas on otherwise uninterested creators. If not for these overly aggressive interlopers, goes the thinking, the characters would hew more closely to their established norm (which just happens to be mostly male and/or white).

This is especially the case with Sweet Baby, Inc., a creative firm that works with game studios like Remedy Entertainment, publisher of titles like Control, Quantum Break, and Alan Wake 2. Mercante says that there’s a group on Steam, the main PC-gaming marketplace, with 100,000 members, dedicated to detecting which games that Sweet Baby has consulted on. Many such gamers think that Sweet Baby’s influence led to Remedy casting a black actress in one of protagonist roles.

“It’s absolutely not true,” said Kyle Rowley, Remedy game director for Alan Wake 2, when asked on X whether Sweet Baby mandated the casting. And when Mercante spoke to people at both Remedy and Sweet Baby, she found the opposite to be true.

Kim Belair, CEO of Sweet Baby, Inc., said, “Sweet Baby is, at its core, a narrative development company. That means anything from script writing to narrative design to narrative direction, to story reviews. One of the things that we do offer is cultural consultations or authenticity consultations … but the perspective is never that we’re coming in and injecting diversity. For the most part, it’s the reverse. It’s that a company has created a character, and they want to make that character more representative and more interesting.”

Sweet Baby co-founder David Bedard insists that the diversity of representation in video games is a byproduct of developers wanting to make the game better for all players. Blair said, “We are not censors. We have no interest in false diversity or in tokenization. We have an interest in making stories better, and making characters more interesting, and in developing a stronger language around narrative design…Those are the things that we are really passionate about.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

You don’t have to be politically liberal or woke or whatever to consider the needs of others as more important than your own. That’s the kind of life that Jesus modeled and that the Apostle Paul wrote about.

In today's highly politicized media climate, various opinions surround several ongoing conflicts. These conflicts include the ongoing war in the Middle East between Israel and Hamas. Amidst these tensions, New York Times columnist Catherine Pearson offers tips for navigating holiday gatherings.

Pearson's advice aims to help individuals maintain composure and connection during challenging times. These tips were curated from hundreds submitted by readers who were asked to contribute their own best practices in avoiding family drama.

“Control the setting,” suggested one reader in Georgia. “We host, every year, every holiday … It has been easier to be where we can control the environment and where we have a safe space.”

“Find a connection,” suggested another reader in Arizona, who cited a mutual love of music that draws two brothers together during the holidays, despite very different political views. “We brought our guitars to the gathering … when we’re singing, we can’t fight.”

“When in doubt, talk sports,” says a reader from Florida, whose family has an unofficial list of topics to avoid in order to keep the peace. “When issues arise, we enjoy the old fallback: ‘How about those Mets?’”

There were even helpful responses in the comment section. One commenter suggests putting out markers and construction paper and having everyone decorate their own placemat. Apparently giving everyone a project can help cut down on arguments.

Possible Preaching Angle:

As we gather with our families and as our broader church family, let's not allow our differences to keep us from loving one another and treating each other with respect.

A burst of recent editorials have criticized AI tools like ChatGPT as a threat to educational goals over concerns that students would abuse the technology. However, educators are beginning to come around to the value of artificial intelligence – not for students, but for the teachers themselves.

Kansas high school teacher Mike Harris said that normally, designing a 16-week drama class that adheres to state standards would take him at least a full workday. He asked ChatGPT to engage the task, however, and he said he had a workable outline in a few minutes. He also used it to break down the class into daily lesson plans. The 10-year veteran drama teacher said, “To me, that’s the wonder of the tool. This is one of those once-in-a-millennia technology changes.”

Experts recommend using caution when applying AI tools to complex tasks, particularly in the field of education, because the technology is still prone to making errors. Still, many educators would rather use their time rigorously fact-checking the output of an AI rather than starting from scratch.

Sarah Alvick is a social studies teacher who says AI is also helpful for teachers having difficulty engaging students with the task of writing. She said, “You’ll have a kid who sits for a whole week, saying, ‘I don’t know what to write about.’” With AI, she tells students to use it “to assist you, not to do it for you.” She is concerned about the loss of critical thinking, but seems to feel that the positives outweigh the negatives.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Technology constantly brings changes to the way we do things. We need to wisely put it to use as a tool, without it becoming a crutch or a way to avoid hard work.

Shayden Walker didn’t know what was waiting for him on the other side of his neighbor’s doorbell. All he knew was he needed some help. "I was wanting to see if you knew any kids around 11 or 12 maybe,” said Shayden, in footage caught on the neighbor’s doorbell camera. “Cause I need some friends real bad," explaining that he’d been bullied at school.

As it turns out, his neighbors in the Ray family didn’t have any kids his age. But one of them had a TikTok account, where they posted the video of their encounter with Shayden. It went viral, being viewed over six million times.

Shayden’s mother, Krishna Patterson said, "He's been hospitalized because the bullying was so bad and he felt so isolated.” Shayden said, “What my life was like before ... kids were manipulating me and (said) they would be my friend. But when they ask me to do something horrible, I don't feel like they're actually my friend.”

The Rays also set up a GoFundMe account for the boy, where they raised over $40,000, exceeding any expectations they might have had for finding help. Because of such generosity, Shayden will get to purchase some new clothes, a video game system, and tickets to an amusement park.

And Shayden’s mom has advice for anyone else who finds themselves in a similar situation to the Ray’s. “If you see it [bullying], just advocate for that person. Just be there for that person. Do not let that person suffer," said Patterson.

Shayden himself has a message for anyone else who might be considering bullying behavior. “How would you like it if someone were to bully you? How would that make you feel?"

Possible Preaching Angle:

The Lord loves to answer the call of the afflicted, and does not leave the righteous forsaken.

For five years in a row, Finland has ranked No. 1 as the happiest country in the world, according to the World Happiness Report. A Finnish philosopher and psychology researcher who studies the fundamentals of happiness, was asked: What exactly makes people in Finland so exceptionally satisfied with their lives? He answered, “To maintain a high quality of life, here are three things we never do”:

1. We Don’t Compare Ourselves to Our Neighbors.

There’s a famous line by a Finnish poet: “Don’t compare or brag about your happiness.” Finns really take this to heart, especially when it comes to material things and overt displays of wealth. I once ran into one of the wealthiest man in Finland. He was pushing his toddler in a stroller towards the tram station. He could have bought himself an expensive car or hire a driver, but he opted for public transportation. That’s what success looks like in Finland: Just like everyone else.

2. We Don’t Overlook the Benefits of Nature.

According to a 2021 survey, 87% of Finns feel that nature is important to them because it provides them with peace of mind, energy, and relaxation. In Finland, employees are entitled to four weeks of summer holiday. Many of them use that time to hit the countryside and immerse themselves in nature. Spending time in nature increases vitality, well-being, and a gives a sense of personal growth.

3. We Don’t Break the Community Circle of Trust.

Research shows that the higher the levels of trust within a country, the happier its citizens are. Finnish people tend to trust each other and value honesty. If you forget your laptop in a library or lost your phone on the train, you can be quite confident you’ll get it back. Kids also often take a public bus home from school and play outside without supervision.

Possible Preaching Angles:

This illustration could also be titled, “3 Things People in the Happiest Churches Do.” It is instructive that each of the three points matches with scriptural values for relationships between church members: 1. We don’t compare ourselves to our neighbors: (Matt. 7:1-5; 2 Cor. 10:12, Gal. 5:26; Gal. 6:4); 2. We don’t overlook the benefits of nature: (Psa. 1:2; Mark 6:31; Phil. 4:8; Heb. 4:9-10); 3. We don’t break the community circle of trust: (Acts 2:42, 1 Tim. 5:13; Heb. 10:24-25; Jam. 1:26; 1 Pet. 2:1, 2 Cor 12:20)

In April 2023, a delegation of Black legislators echoed calls from the local NAACP chapter for the resignation of Martin D. Brown over remarks he made at a training session.

Brown, an African American Republican, was appointed by Gov. Glenn Youngkin as the state’s chief diversity officer. At a mandatory training on April 21st, he proclaimed that “DEI is dead,” referring to the common abbreviation for diversity, equity, and inclusion. Pursuing equity, according to Brown, means “you’re not pursuing merit or excellence or achievement.”

Virginia Senator Lamont Bagby (D-Richmond) called the remarks “appalling,” and said that all 19 members of Virginia Legislative Black Caucus are calling for him to step down from his position as director of the state’s office of diversity, equity, and inclusion.

Lawmakers say the remarks were especially infuriating because they were made at the Virginia Military Institute, the nation’s oldest military college. In 2021, a state-mandated investigation revealed “a racist and sexist culture” at the institution, and in early June, the college’s first chief diversity officer Jamaica Love resigned from her post.

A recent survey of more than 1,600 teenagers by Harvard found that almost twice as many 14-to-18-year-old boys and girls feel comfortable opening up to their mothers (72%) as to their fathers (39%) about anxiety, depression, or other mental-health challenges. The gap suggests that fathers can become much more involved at home, offering the kind of emotional support that many children today so urgently need.

Intimacy between a parent and a child acts as a protective buffer against the day-to-day challenges of life. In a 2021 study published in the Journal of Family Psychology researchers found that closeness with fathers was associated with fewer weight concerns, higher self-esteem, and fewer depression symptoms for both boys and girls.

A paper published in January of 2023 highlighted the role that dads play in building a child’s skills in regulating emotions. Fathers who were involved in caregiving and play, and who reacted with warmth and greater sensitivity to a child who expressed emotions, were significantly more likely to have children with better emotional balance from infancy to adolescence. Those skills in children are linked, in turn, with higher levels of social competence, academic achievement, and resilience. Conversely, poor emotional regulation skills are linked with anxiety, depression, and behavioral problems.

Boys can be especially affected by whether fathers are part of the emotional equation. Our culture often tells men that softer emotions are weak, so fathers may have to give sons explicit “permission to feel.” Because many men didn’t grow up with an emotionally warm male role model, they may lack confidence in their own abilities to be sensitive caregivers, which can hold them back.

The bottom line is that a strong fatherly connection helps young people to manage their emotions and deal with mental-health crises.

While working in India, Doctor Paul Brand, who pioneered the modern treatment of leprosy, once laid his hand on a patient's shoulder. Then, through a translator, Brand informed the man about the treatment that lay ahead. To his surprise, the man began to shake with muffled sobs.

Doctor Brand asked his translator, “Have I done something wrong?” The translator quizzed the patient and reported, “No, doctor. He says he is crying because you put your hand around his shoulder. Until you came here, no one had touched him for many years.”

Claire Wineland was born with cystic fibrosis and given about 10 years to live. Despite the illness, she was always optimistic and full of life. At the age of 13 her lungs collapsed, she was in a coma, and doctors gave her a 1% chance to live. After 16 days she came out of the coma and "the near-death experience” had radically transformed her understanding of what mattered most in life.

At the age of fourteen and knowing that she had limited time, Claire started a foundation called The Clarity Project to raise money for other terminally ill children with cystic fibrosis. She then spent the rest of her teenage years giving inspirational speeches filled with insights such as:

• “The quality of your life isn’t determined by whether you're healthy or sick or rich or poor. It’s determined by what you make out of your experience as a human being.”
• “The moment you realize it’s not about avoiding suffering, it’s about making something from your suffering, you’re incredibly free.”

When you listen to Claire deliver these insights, it’s hard to believe that she was just a teenager at the time she said them. Although Claire only lived to the age of 21, so many would say that her awareness of her mortality combined with the near-death experience accelerated her understanding of who she was and what she wanted to do in the world.

Possible Preaching Angle:

While many of us spend our entire lives without any sense of meaning, faced with her own mortality, Claire was able to live meaningfully with the knowledge that she might not have as much time as everyone else. As Christians, adversities and calamities can happen, but our meaning and mission come from Christ. Even when life is good, the calling remains.

A fistful of black letters flicker atop the pale-yellow background. The sign is broken, but few care. Because they are broken too. There is a place, like God and grandmother’s house, where the door is always open. You may find better food elsewhere, but you won’t find better food for the money. They have a menu, though I have never needed it.

When you sit down at the table or the bar you will likely be greeted by someone who calls you “honey,” or “sugar,” or “baby,” or sometimes “boss.” But you will be greeted, and usually with a smile. And by someone who knows what it means to work long and hard for very little.

Some of them are working their way through college. Some of them are single parents trying to pay the rent and keep the lights on at home. Some are ex-cons trying to hold down a job by wiping tables and desperately trying to believe the rumors of second chances.

On any given day there might be a family of five seated near you with three small children scarfing down jellied toast and scrambled eggs. They’re here because the food is cheap and sometimes dad doesn’t want mom to have to cook after working twelve hours at the shirt factory. On one side of you will be three bikers and a war veteran swapping stories. On the other side will be an elderly couple who come every Thursday night. They come just to hear the voices. Their own kids have long since stopped visiting, and they’ve already buried all of their other friends.

It doesn’t matter what you’ve done or where you’ve come from, you are welcome here. Strait-laced or strung out, drunk or sober or in that fuzzy place in between. In blue jeans, a business suit, or pajamas. No one is turned away.

Waffle House may not be a church, but many of our churches could stand to learn a few things about open arms and second chances from this wild, wayside diner.

The final straw in Pitt’s 11-year relationship with Angelina Jolie came in September 2016, when they fought about his drinking while aboard a private plane. Now, Pitt is committed to his sobriety. Pitt told a reporter, “I had taken things as far as I could take it, so I removed my drinking privileges.” After she filed for divorce, Pitt spent a year and a half in Alcoholics Anonymous.

His recovery group was composed entirely of men, and Pitt was moved by their vulnerability. Pitt said, “You had all these men sitting around being open and honest in a way I have never heard. It was this safe space where there was little judgment, and therefore little judgment of yourself.”

Astonishingly, no one from the group sold Pitt’s stories to the tabloids. The men trusted one another, and in that trust, he found catharsis. “It was actually really freeing just to expose the ugly sides of yourself,” he said. “There’s great value in that.”

In 2018 Rosalind Picard, an MIT professor and follower of Jesus, helped invent a simple life-saving device that can be used by persons with epilepsy. It looks like a smart watch, and it is sold under the name Embrace.

Epileptic seizures take 3,000 lives per year in the United States. Most epileptic seizures pose a risk of asphyxiation. This can be prevented if somebody nearby ensures that the person’s airway remain open and the person is resting safely. But some seizures are so deep that the person’s body can completely shut down for lack of signals from the brain.

There is one noninvasive intervention that works far better than any other. It can interrupt the misfiring neurons and establish normal brain function within a few minutes. Another person needs to speak to you and gently touch you, ideally calling you by name.

This intervention must happen within a matter of minutes for the person to survive such a seizure. This means that the only person who can come to the rescue is someone nearby. The Embrace device is designed to alert the nearest person on a list of people the user trusts, ideally including close neighbors. People often cling to their cell phones in case a loved one should call with an emergency, but for this kind of emergency, a cell phone is of no use. Only the nearest person can do anything about it.

Surviving this kind of episode is possible if you have a neighbor you trust to speak to you and touch you and call you by name. It is possible, that is, if you and your neighbor are living a fully personal life. If you’re willing to know and be known by your neighbors and depend on them at the moment of profound vulnerability.

When Friedrich Stapel went to move the herd of cows under his care, he had no idea they would attract a following. But that’s exactly what happened after he spotted a wild boar piglet, roaming with his cows in his town of Brevoerde, Germany. He theorized that it must have gotten separated from his own kind while crossing a river, but he couldn’t leave the piglet to fend for himself. He said, “To leave it alone now would be unfair.” He nicknamed the piglet “Frieda,” and told the local hunter not to shoot it.

Whether because of the unusual sight of a piglet roaming with cows, or because of Stapel’s act of compassion, word has gathered in the town. You could say Stapel and his herd of cows have attracted a following.

Possible Preaching Angle:

The heart of Jesus is for all people to be brought into God’s family, especially those isolated or traumatized.

Global missions expert Paul Borthwick remembers living in Boston after the Boston Marathon terrorist bombings of April 2013. Most people were suspicious of Muslims in their community. Borthwick says,

I was traveling from Boston Logan airport about two weeks after the bombing. As I stood at the gate waiting for my flight, I noticed a young woman standing very much alone at her newspaper stand. She wore the hijab head covering of a conservative Muslim woman. I sensed that the Lord wanted me to speak to her. I approached her and greeted her with “As-salaam alaikum,” the Arabic greeting that means “Peace be onto you.” The woman burst into tears.

I immediately thought I had insulted her or said something wrong or pronounced a word incorrectly. I apologized and asked what I had said wrong. She said, “No, what you said was perfect. I’m crying because I’ve been standing here over two weeks now since the Boston Marathon bombing, and you are the first person who has even spoken a word to me.”

Her name was Aisha. Borthwick concluded, “How will someone like Aisha ever know God’s love if everyone in our community avoids her?”

Eric Carle, the beloved children’s author and illustrator whose classics The Very Hungry Caterpillar and Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? gave millions of kids some of their earliest and most cherished reading memories. His books introduced universal themes in simple words and bright colors. Carle wrote and-or illustrated more than 75 books.

When Carle died in May 2021, an obituary in The Wall Street Journal recalled that he once said, “I believe that children are naturally creative and eager to learn. I want to show them that learning is really both fascinating and fun.”

Carle credited his own father as the main source of encouraging his creativity. “When I was a small child,” he told a reporter in 1994, “as far back as I can remember, he would take me by the hand. And we would go out in nature. And he would show me worms and bugs and bees and ants and explain their lives to me. It was a very loving relationship.”

Possible Preaching Angles:

Carle’s quote shows the power of a loving father to teach his children, but it also shows how Jesus disciples us—he takes us by the hand, forming a loving relationship with us, and shows us what really matters.