Affection

Every real-life love story has a beginning of how they met, but the important part is when you realize that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Gifts and memorable dates are nice, but when you hear about that moment, it's usually when your significant other shows their kindness. These things aren't usually romantic, but it gives you a glimpse into their character.

A question was posed on the subreddit Ask Women: “What's the moment with your partner that confirmed that you're gonna spend your life with them?” These stories will brighten your day, and maybe raise your standards for finding a partner (or appreciating the one you have).

#1: We had just started dating in college and were driving on the interstate when we saw two old ladies and an old man who had run out of gas on the side of the road. My now-husband drove to a gas station, filled up a container and got them back on the road. I didn’t realize until then that the quality I was looking for in a partner was kindness. We’ve been together 50 years.

#2: When he learned my native language to be able to communicate with my parents.

#3: I worked an extremely stressful job. I had what felt like no free time at all and my car needed some things done. I felt so stressed about it. One day he offered to drive me to work and I happily agreed. While I was at work, he changed my taillight, changed the wipers, and detailed the car. I was at a point in my life where multiple compounded stressors made me numb to emotion. I cried when he picked me up in my car, and I saw all the things he'd done. I knew that moment that he was my forever partner.

#4: We had a long distance for most of our relationship. I had a really bad day at work. He called me when I was finished and told me to walk to a place 5 minutes away. I was confused. I went anyway out of curiosity. I called him back and said what am I meant to be looking for? He told me to turn around and he was standing behind me. Unbeknown to me he had spoken to his boss and taken the afternoon off work. He drove three hours just to come and give me a hug. We had dinner together and then he had to drive home. I was so overwhelmed by how thoughtful it was I cried. I knew from that day that I wanted to marry him.

Emotional farewells are a common sight at airports, but travelers leaving the New Zealand city of Dunedin will have to be quick. A new three-minute time limit on goodbye hugs in the airport’s drop-off area is intended to prevent lingering cuddles from causing traffic jams.

“Max hug time three minutes,” warn signs outside the terminal, adding that those seeking “fonder farewells” should head to the airport’s parking lot instead.

The cuddle limit was imposed in September to “keep things moving smoothly” in the redesigned passenger drop-off area outside the airport, CEO Dan De Bono told The Associated Press. It was the airport’s way of reminding people that the zone was for “quick farewells” only. “[It’s] plenty of time to pull up, say farewell to your loved ones and move on,” says De Bono. “The time limit is really a nicer way of saying, ‘You know, get on with it.’”

A 20-second hug is long enough to release the wellbeing-boosting hormones oxytocin and serotonin, De Bono said. Anything longer was “really awkward.”

But passengers need not worry unduly about enforcement. “We do not have hug police.” Visitors might, however, be asked to move their lingering embraces to the parking lot, where they can cuddle free of charge for up to 15 minutes.

Possible Preaching Angle:

For Christians, goodbyes are never final. Farewells in the Bible often serve as a moment of transition, marking the end of one chapter and the beginning of another. They are moments of reflection, blessing, and often, divine revelation. They remind us of the importance of relationships and the enduring presence of God in our lives.

Editor’s note: For more on this topic you can click here.

Forbes Advisor commissioned a survey of 1,000 Americans who are divorced or who are in the process of divorcing to discover why marriages fail. A total of 689,308 divorces occurred in 2021 and approximately half of all first marriages end in divorce with subsequent marriages failing at higher rates.

To understand the causes of divorce, it’s helpful to understand the reasons people marry:

• 42% - Financial security
• 39% - Companionship
• 36% - Love
• 34% - To start a family
• 28% - Convenience
• 25% - Medical Insurance
• 07% - Societal and family pressures

Only five percent of divorcees say there was no way their marriage could have been saved, the survey says. A whopping 63% said that having a better understanding of commitment prior to marrying could have helped them avoid divorce.

You can access the entire detailed survey here.

Possible Preaching Angle:

It is important to keep in mind that this survey was taken of society as a whole. With proper guidance in premarital counseling and personal growth toward spiritual maturity a believing couple would be much more likely to establish a solid marriage for life upon the proper foundations.

According to a new study, the secret to a longer, happier marriage may lie in couples consolidating their finances. Researchers found that married couples with joint bank accounts argued less about money, felt more confident about household financial management, and reported better overall relationship satisfaction. Couples sharing resources also felt more unified and committed to shared goals.

Researchers from Indiana University’s Kelley School of Business reported:

When we surveyed people of varying relationship lengths, those who had merged accounts reported higher levels of communality within their marriage compared to people with separate accounts, or even those who partially merged their finances. Considering the significant shifts we observed over two years, this is compelling evidence for the benefits of merging finances. It certainly warrants a discussion with your partner.

At the start of the study, everyone maintained separate bank accounts and agreed to consider changing their financial arrangements. This was the first marriage for all participants. Some couples were randomly instructed to keep their separate bank accounts, while others were advised to open a joint bank account. A third group was given the freedom to decide for themselves.

After two years, couples who were instructed to open joint bank accounts reported significantly higher relationship quality than those who kept separate accounts. The researchers believe that merging finances encourages greater alignment with financial goals, increased transparency, and a shared understanding of marital responsibilities.

New York Times columnist David Brooks writes:

When I’m around young adults I like to ask them how they are thinking about the big commitments in their lives: what career to go into, where to live, whom to marry. Most of them have thought a lot about their career plans. But my impression is that many have not thought a lot about how marriage will fit into their lives.

The common operating assumption seems to be that professional life is at the core of life and that marriage would be something nice to add on top sometime down the road. It’s not that people are against marriage. Today, as in the past, a vast majority of Americans would like to tie the knot someday. It’s just that it’s not exactly top of mind.

Partly as a result of these attitudes, there is less marriage in America today. The marriage rate is close to the lowest level in American history. For example, in 1980, only 6% of 40-year-olds had never been married. As of 2021, 25% of 40-year-olds have never been married.

As Brad Wilcox writes in his vitally important book, Get Married:

Marital quality is, far and away, the top predictor I have run across of life satisfaction in America. Specifically, the odds that men and women say they are “very happy” with their lives are a staggering 545% higher for those who are very happily married, compared to peers who are not married or who are less than very happy in their marriages.

When it comes to predicting overall happiness, a good marriage is far more important than how much education you get, how much money you make, how often you have sex, and, yes, even how satisfied you are with your work.

In the fall of 1937, Ed Keefer was a senior in the school of engineering at the University of Toledo in Ohio. Tall, slender, and bespectacled, Keefer was the president of the calculus club, the vice-president of the engineering club, and a member of the school’s exclusive all-male honor society. He also invented the Cupidoscope.

The electrical device could not have been more perfectly designed to bring campus-wide fame to its creators, Keefer and his less sociable classmate John Hawley. It promised to reveal, with scientific precision, if a couple was truly in love. As the inventors explained to a United Press reporter as news of their innovation spread, the Cupidoscope delivered on its promise “in terms called ‘amorcycles,’ the affection that the college girl has for her boyfriend.”

Built in the school’s physics laboratory, the Cupidoscope was fashioned from an old radio cabinet, a motor spark coil, and an electrical resistor. To test their bond, a man and a woman would grip electrodes on either side of the Cupidoscope and move them toward one another until the woman felt a spark—not of attraction, but of electricity. The higher her tolerance for this mild current, the more of a love signal the meter registered. A needle decorated with hearts purported to show her devotion on a scale that ranged from “No hope” to “See preacher!”

It all sounds like a slightly painful party game—but the Cupidoscope was one experiment in a serious, decades-long quest to quantify love. This undertaking garnered the attention of leading scientists across the United States and in Europe in the early years of the 20th century, and it is memorialized most prominently in the penny arcade mainstay known as the Love Tester.

Possible Preaching Angle:

“How do you measure love?” The Bible gives an answer to this important question: It is measured by the self-sacrifice of the Cross—“By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers” (1 John 3:16); “Then you, being rooted and grounded in love, will have power, together with all the saints, to comprehend the length and width and height and depth of the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge” (Eph. 3:17-19).

Forty-two percent of Americans have fallen back in love with a partner after going on vacation together. A survey of 2,000 adults looked at the magic of vacationing and found that three-quarters of respondents believe vacations are great for those looking to keep the spark alive in their relationship.

Overall, vacations are a joyous time, making the average person feel happier. Most respondents agree that traveling is always more fun with a buddy (78%). Eight out of 10 say traveling with someone is one of the best ways to strengthen your bond.

When on vacation with others, two-thirds of respondents tried to take as many photos as possible to commemorate the trip, looking back at these pictures an average of five times throughout the year. From relaxing on the beach to resort experiences, families, friends, or couples are bound to return from vacation with memories that will last a lifetime.

Vacations are also a time for stepping out of your comfort zone or bettering yourself. 61 percent revealing they’re more likely to be adventurous with others on vacation than by themselves. Similarly, seven in 10 people shared that they feel more in touch with themselves when returning from a trip than before. And a third of Americans have even had an epiphany about some aspect of their life when on vacation.

Joie Henney has an unusual emotional support animal. Whereas others might find comfort and solace in dogs or cats, Henney’s companion is WallyGator, a 70-pound swamp native alligator. Henney says, “When he turns his nose toward you, that means he expects a kiss.” And he should know, because WallyGator accompanies him pretty much everywhere. They take walks to the park or the grocery store together. They watch TV on the couch together. They even sleep in the same bed.

Henney knows that others might be freaked out by the arrangement. Instead, he makes it a point to share his relationship with others. He says, “He’s super sweet-natured.” That said, Henney isn’t naïve about the situation. “He’s a very special gator, but I wouldn’t recommend that anyone get one. If you don’t know what you’re doing, you will get bit.”

Henney’s relationship with WallyGator started back in 2015 when a friend asked him to take care of a few gators that were discovered in a pool in Orlando. Two of them quickly found other homes, but something about one of the 14-month baby gators caught his eye. He said he was surprised when WallyGator, then 20 inches long, didn’t try to bite him when he held him or fed him chicken legs. Henney said, “He wouldn’t eat live rats, and he really showed a love for cheesy popcorn. I thought it was different, but I was still very cautious around him.” It didn’t take long, he said, before WallyGator began to follow him around the house like a curious pup. He said his leathery roomie showed affection by staying close to him and being docile. Then, in 2017, several members of Henney’s family died, leaving him sad and grieving. That was when he and his unusual pet really bonded.

Raul Diaz is a biologist at California State University in Los Angeles. He says alligators are normally quite defensive because their biological wiring is predatory in nature. [Henney] is an exception when it comes to caring for an alligator. Wildlife experts agree: Alligators generally don’t make good pets, and they’re illegal to own in many states. The animals can also be deadly. Last month, an 80-year-old Florida woman was killed when she fell into a golf course pond and was attacked by two alligators.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Sleeping with an alligator is not recommended, but it does illustrate that God has all of creation at his disposal to help meet our needs.

In 1977 the heart icon became a verb. The “I❤️NY” Logo was created to boost morale for a city that was in severe crisis. Trash piled up on the streets, the crime rate spiked, and New York City was near bankruptcy. Hired by the city to design an image that would increase tourism, Milton Glaser created the famous logo that has since become both a cliché and a meme. After the 9/11 terrorist attacks, New Yorkers had tragic reasons for loving their city all the more. Glaser even designed a modified version of his logo: "I❤️NY More than Ever.”

A few years earlier, a new graphic form appeared that also played on the heart image. In 1999 the Japanese provider NTT DoCoMo released the first emoji made specifically for mobile communication. The original 176 emoji’s were rendered in black and white, before they were painted one of six colors. Among the original 176 emojis there were five of the heart. Today our online messages are regularly punctuated by heart emojis in multiple colors and combinations.

Possible Preaching Angle:

According to Scripture, believers are specifically commanded to “heart” the Lord our God (Matt 22:36-37), our neighbor (Matt. 22:36-39), other believers (John 13:34-35), and our spouses (Eph. 5:25, Tit. 2:4). We are not to “heart” the world (1 Jn. 2:15-16) or money (Heb. 13:5).

Julie, a registered nurse from Los Angeles, California, has worked in a hospice and ICU for around 14 years. She has been using her expertise and knowledge to educate her 372,400 TikTok followers about death.

Her heart-warming comments as well as her love for her job have led to her videos going viral with people desperate to know about what to expect when family and friends pass away. She said: “I love educating patients and families about what to expect with hospice. I also really like giving the patient and family some comfort knowing we will be there to manage their symptoms.”

Julie explained that changes in breathing, changes in skin color, and fevers, just to name a few, are all normal stages. She then said, “There is something most people say before they die and it’s usually ‘I love you’ or they call out to their mom or dad — who have usually already died.”

In the novel Captain Corelli’s Mandolin (written in 1994) an older man named Dr. Iannis tells his daughter about his love for his late wife. He says that at first love “erupts like a volcano” but then it subsides. “And when it subsides,” he continues, “you have to make a decision. Do you want real love or just being ‘in love?’”

Then he gives this definition for true marital love: “[Real] love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away … Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches, we found we were one tree and not two.”

Falling in love can be exhilarating, but it isn’t the secret to marital happiness. “Passionate love”—the period of falling in love—often hijacks our brains in a way that can cause elation or the depths of despair. But, according to researcher Arthur Brooks (writing in The Atlantic), the secret to happiness isn’t falling in love; it’s staying in love. Brooks writes:

This does not mean just sticking together legally: Research shows that being married only accounts for 2 percent of subjective well-being later in life. The important thing for well-being is relationship satisfaction, and that depends on what psychologists call “companionate love”—love based less on passionate highs and lows and more on [friendship], stable affection, mutual understanding, and commitment.

Passionate love, which relies on attraction, does not typically last beyond the novelty of the relationship … As one researcher bluntly summarizes the evidence in the Journal of Happiness Studies, “The well-being benefits of marriage are much greater for those who also regard their spouse as their best friend.”

Poet Amy B Hunter writes:

Five years ago I had emergency surgery. My sister, a professor with final exams to give, was getting married in less than a week. Yet she drove from New York City to Massachusetts in a snowstorm to see me in the hospital. No phone call would reassure her that I was alive. She had to see me with her own eyes.

Sometimes the demand to see is not doubt. Sometimes it is even love.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Thomas wanted proof of the resurrected Christ. Thomas’ words, “My Lord and my God!” is the high point of John’s Gospel. No one else has offered such devotion or named Jesus as God. Thomas held out for a personal experience of Jesus on his own terms.

R. Kent Hughes writes:

There are some fathers who are sarcastic and constantly criticize their sons. I think of a certain little boy when I coached soccer. His demeaning father would run up and down the field belittling his boy with words like “chicken” and “woman.” He was the only parent I ever told to be quiet or leave the field.

Winston Churchill had such a father in Lord Randolph Churchill. He did not like the looks of Winston, he did not like his voice, he did not like to be in the same room with his son. He never complimented him—only criticized him. His biographers excerpt young Winston’s letters begging both parents for his father’s attention: “I would rather have been apprenticed as a bricklayer’s mate … it would have been natural … and I (would) have got to know my father …”

Possible Preaching Angle:

Many people grow up with that aching sense of being unloved, because of an absent or dysfunctional father. How glorious it is to be healed by the Father Heart of God.

There's a new reality dating show on Netflix called, "Love is Blind," that tries to test whether relationships can be successful based on emotional connection rather than physical appearance. Couples are placed in separate rooms for a series of "dates" where they get to know each other without being able to see each other until the big moment when they're ready to get engaged. Then the engaged couples get a month to spend time face-to-face before a marriage ceremony that proves whether a blind beginning can guarantee true love.

The show’s creator explains the popularity of the show in a time where social media and dating apps make so much of outward appearance: “Everyone wants to be loved for who they are on the inside. It doesn’t matter where you live, what you look like, how old you are, what your background is, which class you know, or social structure you feel like you’re a part of, everyone wants to be loved for who they are.”

But is blind love the way to love someone as they truly are? The British writer G.K. Chesterton once wrote, “Love is not blind; that is the last thing that it is. Love is bound; and the more it is bound the less it is blind.” Chesterton argued that real love depends on commitment. The way to love someone as they truly are is to vow to love them no matter what comes, and the more one is committed to the vows of marriage, the less blind they are to the real person who desires to be loved.

PBS’s The Great American Read is an eight-part series that explores America’s 100 best-loved novels. The series notes that one theme emerges often in these 100 best-loved novels—the quest for love, especially a romantic love that will endure.

Here are some quotes from literature experts commenting on the series and the novels:

“Love is the driving force behind everything that we do. So I think reading about all these different types of loves and the ways in which they present, is one of the great human questions.”

“I love a good love story. I think everybody wants it. If you don’t want it you’re trying to get it. If you have it, you’re trying to keep it.”

“Every book on this list is about love and death. And finding love that transcends death. I mean, who’s not going to love a love story?”

“We are fascinated by the fact that things can go wrong in love. We don’t want to go there. We don’t want this sort of thing to happen to us.”

Possible Preaching Angles: Romantic love and marriage are among God’s greatest gifts to humanity. Even higher than this is God's love, expressed through the gospel of Jesus Christ. The ultimate love story is when God chose us and made the ultimate commitment and sacrifice through his Son.

Every day, they slowly accumulate. Plates covered in sauces and crumbs. Forks, knives, and spoons all gummed with bits of this and that. At the end of a long day of work, cooking, cleaning, and, for many, negotiating with small children, a couple has to face the big question: Who is going to do the dishes?

A report from the Council of Contemporary Families suggests that the answer to that question can have a significant impact on the health and longevity of a relationship. It found that, for women it’s more important to share the responsibility of doing the dishes than any other chore. Women who wash the vast majority of the dishes report more relationship conflict, less relationship satisfaction, and even worse sex, than women with partners who help. Women are happier about sharing dishwashing duties than sharing any other household task.

What is it about dishes? Dan Carlson, the lead author of the study, offers one possible reason: “Doing dishes is gross. There is old, moldy food sitting in the sink. If you have kids, there is curdled milk in sippy cups that smells disgusting.”

Couples who do share dishwashing responsibilities seem to have better relationships. According to Carlson, that’s because a couple can do dishes as a team. When partners each handle some portion of the household tasks, they divide them in one of two ways. They either split the chores— “you cook Monday, I’ll cook Tuesday”—or they do them together, at the same time.

The nature of dishwashing encourages couples to stand in the kitchen together and work simultaneously until the job is done. That kind of teamwork, especially when practiced regularly, often makes partners feel more connected, ready to tackle the gross and the curdled, in and outside of the sink.

PBS’ The Great American Read is an eight-part series that explores America’s 100 best-loved novels. The series notes that one theme emerges often in these 100 best-loved novels—the quest for love, especially a romantic love that will endure. Here are some quotes from literature experts commenting on the series and the novels:

“[According to theses novels] Love is the driving force behind everything that we do. So I think reading about all these different types of loves and the ways in which they present, is one of the great human questions.” Another commentator wrote: “I love a good love story. I think everybody wants it. If you don’t want it you’re trying to get it. If you have it you’re trying to keep it.” A third summarized: “Every book on this list is about love and death. And finding love that transcends death. I mean, who’s not going to love a love story?”

Others added the following quotes:

“We want to see that things last. We want to know that you can’t just throw love away. As human beings, as readers, we want something to be that important that you would stick with it forever.”

“We are fascinated by the fact that things can go wrong in love. We don’t want to go there. We don’t want this sort of thing to happen to us.”

Possible Preaching Angles:

Romantic love; marriage; God's love; gospel: The gospel provides the ultimate love story, not just romance, but the God who enters into a love story that involves commitment and sacrifice.

In an article for Christianity Today, sociologist and researcher Brad Wilcox has investigated the claim that evangelical Protestantism is bad for marriage and "good" at fostering domestic violence. Wilcox admits, "Domestic violence is still present in church-going homes, and Christian clergy, counselors, and lay leaders need to do a much better job of articulating clear, powerful messages about abuse," but he also responds the question, "Do traditional evangelical marriages lead to abuse?"

The answer is complicated, since some research suggests that gender traditionalism fuels domestic violence. … In general, however, the answer to these questions is "no." In my previous book, Soft Patriarchs, New Men: How Christianity Shapes Fathers and Husbands, I found that women married to churchgoing evangelical men—compared to women married to men in other major religious traditions or women married to unaffiliated men—report the highest levels of happiness. Their self-reports were based on two markers: "love and affection you get from your spouse" and "understanding you receive from your spouse." This same demographic of women also report the highest levels of quality couple time.

My newer [research] reveals similar findings. Men and women who attend church together are almost 10 percentage points more likely to report that they are "happy" or "very happy" in their relationships, compared to their peers who attend separately or simply don't attend religious services at all. On average, then, evangelicals (as well other religious believers in the United States) who attend church regularly enjoy higher quality marriages compared to their less religious or secular peers.