Christian Love

In the U.S., solo dining reservations have risen 29% over the last two years, according to OpenTable, the restaurant reservation site. They’re also up 18% this year in Germany and 14% in the United Kingdom.

Japan even has a special term for solo dining: “ohitorisama,” which means “alone.” In a recent survey, Japan’s Hot Pepper Gourmet Eating Out Research Institute found that 23% of Japanese people eat out alone, up from 18% in 2018. As a result, many restaurants in Japan and elsewhere are redoing their seating, changing their menus, and adding other special touches to appeal to solo diners. Even so-called family restaurants are increasing counter seats for solitary diners, and restaurants are offering courses with smaller servings so a person eating alone gets a variety of dishes.

OpenTable CEO Debby Soo thinks remote work is one reason for the increase, with diners seeking respites from their home offices. The pandemic also made social interactions less feasible and therefore less important while eating out.

The growth in solo dining also is the result of more people who are living alone. In 2019, the Pew Research Center found that 38% of U.S. adults ages 25 to 54 were living without a partner, up from 29% in 1990. In Japan, single households now make up one-third of the total; that’s expected to climb to 40% by 2040, according to government data.

Increasing interest in solo travel – particularly among travelers ages 55 and over – is also leading to more meals alone.

Possible Preaching Angle:

A time of solitude can be a refreshing break from a busy schedule. But for many people solitude is not a choice. Without putting singles in an embarrassing spotlight, it would be encouraging if church members would diplomatically invite singles to share a homecooked meal, especially during the holidays.

In February 2020, BBC journalist Vicky Baker jumped on the Eurostar to Paris, motivated by a sudden urge to have dinner with a friend. American Jim Haynes had entered his late 80s and his health was declining, yet she knew he would welcome a visit. Jim always welcomed visitors to his home in Paris.

She was far from the only guest wandering into the warm glow of his artist's workroom on a wet winter's night. Inside, people were squeezing, shoulder to shoulder, through the narrow kitchen. Strangers struck up conversations, bunched together in groups, and balancing their dinners on paper plates.

Jim had operated open-house policy at his home every Sunday evening for more than 40 years. Absolutely anyone was welcome to come for an informal dinner, all you had to do was phone or email and he would add your name to the list. No questions asked. Just put a donation in an envelope when you arrive.

There would be a buzz in the air, as people of various nationalities - locals, immigrants, travelers - milled around the small, open-plan space. A pot of hearty food bubbled on the stove and servings would be dished out onto a trestle table, so you could help yourself and continue to mingle. It was for good reason that Jim was nicknamed the "godfather of social networking." He led the way in connecting strangers, long before we outsourced it all to Silicon Valley.

At the dinners' peak, Jim would welcome up to 120 guests, filling his home, and spilling out into the cobbled back garden. An estimated 150,000 people have come over the years.

"The door was always open," says Amanda Morrow, an Australian journalist. "It was a revolving door of guests - some who wanted to stay over, and others who just wanted to say hello. Jim never said no to anyone."

Amid the outpouring of online tributes since his death in his sleep on 6 January 2021, these words from his son Jesper stand out:

The only thing that really got Jim down was people leaving. He struggled with that. He didn't like being on his own... His goal from early on was to introduce the whole world to each other. He almost succeeded.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Fellowship; Home; Outreach – Imagine the results if church members would invite others to share in an informal meal at their home. Neighbors, friends, church members, visitors to church all welcomed to mingle and fellowship in the warm, cozy atmosphere of a home.

Hosting friends and family from out of town always sounds good in theory, but it doesn’t come without its challenges. Two-thirds of Americans have told a guest to “make themselves at home” and regretted it later. That’s according to a new survey of 2,000 Americans, which found 72 percent have told a guest to make the space their own—and 91% of those have regretted it afterward.

Some of the reasons respondents have regretted allowing people to make themselves at home include guests expecting more meals than planned (54%), overstaying their welcome (45%), and making a mess (39%).

Results also looked to see who makes the worst guests, with friends (42%), siblings (39%), and in-laws (37%) topping the list. For a third of respondents (35%), the situation has become unpleasant enough that they’ve told someone they’re a “bad guest.”

On the flip side, 75% of Americans surveyed believe they’re a good host—with 31% of those saying they’re a “very good” host.

The survey also looked at the lengths that hosts go to, and the steps people can take to ensure their home is inviting. In order to be a good host, over four in 10 have purchased a new bed or new mattress for people to sleep on when they stay the night (49%) or purchased new furniture to ensure guests are comfortable (45%).

A fistful of black letters flicker atop the pale-yellow background. The sign is broken, but few care. Because they are broken too. There is a place, like God and grandmother’s house, where the door is always open. You may find better food elsewhere, but you won’t find better food for the money. They have a menu, though I have never needed it.

When you sit down at the table or the bar you will likely be greeted by someone who calls you “honey,” or “sugar,” or “baby,” or sometimes “boss.” But you will be greeted, and usually with a smile. And by someone who knows what it means to work long and hard for very little.

Some of them are working their way through college. Some of them are single parents trying to pay the rent and keep the lights on at home. Some are ex-cons trying to hold down a job by wiping tables and desperately trying to believe the rumors of second chances.

On any given day there might be a family of five seated near you with three small children scarfing down jellied toast and scrambled eggs. They’re here because the food is cheap and sometimes dad doesn’t want mom to have to cook after working twelve hours at the shirt factory. On one side of you will be three bikers and a war veteran swapping stories. On the other side will be an elderly couple who come every Thursday night. They come just to hear the voices. Their own kids have long since stopped visiting, and they’ve already buried all of their other friends.

It doesn’t matter what you’ve done or where you’ve come from, you are welcome here. Strait-laced or strung out, drunk or sober or in that fuzzy place in between. In blue jeans, a business suit, or pajamas. No one is turned away.

Waffle House may not be a church, but many of our churches could stand to learn a few things about open arms and second chances from this wild, wayside diner.

U.S. cities were shedding people steadily even before the pandemic. According to Postal Service data, 15.9 million Americans filed a change-of-address request between February and July of 2020. Roughly one in five Americans either changed residences or know someone who did in just the first few months of the pandemic, according to Pew Research. Many of them were spurred—or enabled—by COVID-19 lockdowns, seeking more breathing room as homes morphed into places where work, school, meals, and rest all unfolded under one roof.

Though median U.S. home prices rose relatively steadily over the past decade, they soared during the pandemic, climbing 30 percent from early-2020 to early-2022. It seems we have collectively awakened to the fact that our homes really do matter. Except, it is harder than it has been in generations to actually find a home.

But for Christians, the broken housing market is more than just an opportunity to practice the virtue of contentment. With a dream home out of reach for so many, it may well be time for us, followers of the man who had no place to lay his head (Matt. 8:20) and to reimagine what the home is truly for.

The best homes—the ones that feel most like a home—are almost never the biggest, prettiest, cleanest, or most well organized. They are those that seem to envelop you upon crossing the threshold with signs of real, actual life: dishes in the sink and toys strewn on the floor, a stack of yet-to-be read books on a side table, furniture arranged to foster conversation, tea on the stove, and a “let me dig around and see what we have in the fridge” attitude that is neither fussy nor sterile. They are infused with an earnest Galatians 6:10, do-good-to-all-people mindset, and it shows. Homes are a place of growth and connection with ourselves, our spouses, our friends, and our communities.

Possible Preaching Angle:

And as we watch the world quiver under the weight of war and political discord and injustice, let’s be reminded that home isn’t found in the perfect house, but in the people that enter, the reflection of eternity it offers, the shelter it provides, and the growth and connection it creates. No matter the location, no matter the size, these things remain.

In 1977 the heart icon became a verb. The “I❤️NY” Logo was created to boost morale for a city that was in severe crisis. Trash piled up on the streets, the crime rate spiked, and New York City was near bankruptcy. Hired by the city to design an image that would increase tourism, Milton Glaser created the famous logo that has since become both a cliché and a meme. After the 9/11 terrorist attacks, New Yorkers had tragic reasons for loving their city all the more. Glaser even designed a modified version of his logo: "I❤️NY More than Ever.”

A few years earlier, a new graphic form appeared that also played on the heart image. In 1999 the Japanese provider NTT DoCoMo released the first emoji made specifically for mobile communication. The original 176 emoji’s were rendered in black and white, before they were painted one of six colors. Among the original 176 emojis there were five of the heart. Today our online messages are regularly punctuated by heart emojis in multiple colors and combinations.

Possible Preaching Angle:

According to Scripture, believers are specifically commanded to “heart” the Lord our God (Matt 22:36-37), our neighbor (Matt. 22:36-39), other believers (John 13:34-35), and our spouses (Eph. 5:25, Tit. 2:4). We are not to “heart” the world (1 Jn. 2:15-16) or money (Heb. 13:5).

When Julie and Jimmy Johnson experienced a home invasion in early May, they weren’t frightened like most couples would be. Even after the invader walked into their bedroom and got into their bed, they didn’t even notice, at least not at first.

That’s because the invader was a dog named Nala, who had wandered in from her own home two miles away. Julie says the couple is accustomed to dogs sleeping in their bed, because they live with three dogs of their own. These dogs normally bark incessantly at any incoming animal or person, according to Julie, but for some reason Nala’s presence didn’t spark a response.

Confused by the snuggling newcomer, Julie resorted to posting a photo on Facebook. She wrote, “This is the weirdest post I have ever had to make. Is this your dog?” Eventually Julie was contacted by Nala’s owner, who came to retrieve her super chill, snuggly intruder. In a subsequent post, Julie updated her followers on the situation: “Her name is Nala and her mom is on the way to get her. Good luck getting her out of my bed.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

Believers should always be ready to model God’s unconditional love to others, including those from outside our household or community. God's unconditional love transcends normal boundaries of household.

Nine months after SEAL Team Six took out the worlds most wanted man, Osama bin Laden, they completed another dramatic and secret mission: rescuing Jessica Buchanan, an American aid worker, from the hands of Somali pirates. In response to her plight, two dozen SEALS parachuted into southern Somalia, killed all nine heavily armed kidnappers, and liberated Buchanan, as well as a second aid worker—all without any American casualties.

The heroic acts in the final moments of this remarkable rescue reveals something of the culture and character of the Navy SEALs. Here are Jessica’s own words:

At one point … this group of men who’ve risked their lives for me already, asked me to lie down on the ground. Because they’re concerned there might be more armed terrors out there. They make a circle around me and then they lie down on top of me, to protect me. And we lie like that until the helicopters come in.

To the world, it was extraordinary. To the Navy SEALs, it was another day’s work. It’s what they do. Because it is who they have become.

Possible Preaching Angle:

This is a powerful reminder that we believers are to be as dedicated to one another and willing to “lay down our lives for the brothers” (1 John 3:16).

An unusual visitor has been hanging out in the St. Lawrence River for the past three years: A narwhal, more than 600 miles south of its usual range. But the lone narwhal is not alone—it appears he has been adopted by a band of belugas.

The narwhal was filmed in July playing among a pod of young belugas. The video was taken by the Group for Research and Education on Marine Mammals. “It behaves like it was one of the boys,” said Robert Michaud, the group's president. The interactions between the narwhal and the belugas appear to be identical to those among just the belugas, suggesting the narwhal has been fully accepted as part of the group.

So how did the narwhal end up in the St. Lawrence in the first place? Michaud said it's not unusual for young whales to wander into strange habitats. Young belugas wandered as far as New Jersey. Some, unable to find their own kind, end up trying to make friends with boats and humans, and get fatally injured by propellers.

“That little narwhal that made a similar trip was very lucky,” Michaud said. “Because he found almost normal buddies.”

Belugas and narwhals tend to “stick to their own kind” when they encounter one another in the north. But Martin Nweeia, a researcher at Harvard University, said given how social both species are, he thinks they'd be similarly capable of caring and compassion.

“I don't think it should surprise people. I think it shows … the compassion and the openness of other species to welcome another member that may not look or act the same. And maybe that's a good lesson for everyone.”

Preaching angle:

Acceptance; Body of Christ; Community; Fellowship – Church members must also be eager to welcome newcomers and strangers into the fellowship. No visitor should ever feel as though they are unwelcome or that there is no room for them. As Jesus said, “I was a stranger and you took me in” (Matthew 25:35)

Dialing the wrong phone number can be awkward, embarrassing, and sometimes downright frustrating. When a young man forgot to notify his grandmother of a change in his cell phone number before Thanksgiving, however, the result was touching. Wanda Dench texted a number that had originally been her grandson's, inviting him over for a Thanksgiving meal. Instead of her grandson, the text went to 17 year-old Jamal Hinton. The two figured out the mistake quickly, but Hinton asked if it was possible to "still get a plate." In grandmotherly fashion, Dench responded, "Of course you can. That's what grandmas do." The story went viral online, perhaps as a hint of joy during such a bitter election season. When asked about the encounter after Thanksgiving, the young man said, "I'm thankful for all the nice people in the world. I never met her … and she welcomed me into her house, so that shows me how great of a person she is."

Potential Preaching Angles: If the church takes its mission to love its neighbors seriously, a few words in this story could be easily replaced. "Of course you can. That's what [Christians] do. … I'm thankful for all the [Christians] in the world. I've never met her … and she welcomed me into her house, so that shows me [the love of God inside of her]."

In Time Magazine's issue in which it identified "240 Reasons to Celebrate America Right Now," number 77 was none other than the lowly, but always open Waffle House. According to writer Ben Goldberger, "it's so dependable that FEMA has a so-called Waffle House Index for disasters; if the locations are closed, you know things are bad."

Those who sing its praises do so not because of the food but, according to one customer, "There's no ego, no pretension … it's welcoming to all." Daniel Humm, the proprietor of the high-end New York restaurant, Eleven Madison Park reported from his visit, "It was a reminder of how important hospitality is. We just felt so taken care of."

Possible Preaching Angles: In our day when there is so much focus on and written about making the church bigger, let us not forget the power of simple Christ-centered hospitality. The church should be a place where there is no ego, no pretense; a place where people can say "we just felt so taken care of."

The Rule of St. Benedict, written by Saint Benedict of Nursia 1,500 years ago, has instructions for a very specific role in the monastery—the porter in charge of answering the door. The porter's job is to open the door to the monastery when someone knocks. Not much of a role, you say? Ah, but there's so much to it. One contemporary Benedictine author notes, "The way we answer doors is the way we deal with the world."

The porter is given very specific instructions. He is to sleep near the entrance to the monastery so he can hear and respond in a timely way when someone knocks. The porter is to offer a welcome, in Benedict's words, "with all the gentleness that comes from reverence of God," and "with the warmth of love." As soon as anyone knocks, the porter is to reply, "Thanks be to God. Your blessing, please." He is to say this before he even knows who's on the other side of the door. And then the porter is to make sure that the other monks know of the presence of a visitor in their midst so that they can join in extending a welcome.

In contrast, the 20th century writer Dorothy Parker used to answer her telephone with this greeting: "What fresh hell is this?" How do you respond when someone knocks on the door of your church or home or life? Is it closer to "What fresh hell is this?" or "Thanks be to God"?

Sanderson Jones, a former stand-up comedian who leads the Sunday Assembly—also known as the "atheist church"—spent Sunday attending three London churches and tweeting about his experience. His observations are surprising and an encouraging reminder for all churches. "I think churches should recognize that they are already doing so much right," Jones says, referring to the idea of having people welcoming on the front door, and people knowing where and when to set up for coffee after church. "I went to the American Humanist Association and they had a special lecture on why it's important to be welcoming. It's just the most basic things which you'll take for granted in 'Churchland,' which are in fact really powerful."

The second-century Greek philosopher Celsus captures well just how upside-down the Kingdom of God is—and just how confusing that can seem to unbelievers. In an attack on followers of Christ, he writes:

Those who summon people to the other mysteries [i.e. other religions] make this preliminary proclamation: "Whosoever has pure hands and a wise tongue." And again, others say, "Whosoever is pure from all defilement, and whose soul knows nothing of evil, and who has lived well and righteously." Such are the preliminary exhortations of those who promise purification from sins.

But let us hear what folk these Christians call. "Whosoever is a sinner," they say. "Whosoever is unwise, whosoever is a child, and, in a word, whosoever is a wretch, the kingdom of God will receive him." Do you not say that a sinner is he who is dishonest, a thief, a burglar, a poisoner, a sacrilegious fellow, and a grave-robber? What others would a robber invite and call? Why on earth this preference for sinners?

How do I want to be remembered? Not primarily as a Christian scholar, but rather as a loving person. This can be the goal of every individual.