Complaining

Now here's an interesting take on the need for gratitude (aside from the hundreds of biblical injunctions of course). The magazine Inc. ran an article titled "Listening to Complainers Is Bad for Your Brain." Apparently neuroscientists have learned to measure brain activity when faced with various stimuli, including a long gripe session. And the news isn't good.

The article summarizes the research:

"Being exposed to too much complaining can actually make you dumb. Research shows that exposure to 30 minutes or more of negativity—including viewing such material on TV—actually peels away neurons in the brain's hippocampus. That's the part of your brain you need for problem solving. Basically, it turns your brain to mush."

Possible Preaching Angle:
So, basically, too much complaining (either listening to it or dishing it out) turns your brain to mush. The article provides three practical steps to avoid that negative, brain-numbing experience of complaining, but that advice can't top the Bible's simple command: "Give thanks in all circumstances" (1 Thess. 5:18).

If you find yourself being more impatient than ever before when interacting with people in customer service roles—or if you’ve noticed other people having a shorter fuse and snapping more quickly—you’re not alone. Lines can be a source of anger, frustration, and arguments. Twenty-seven percent of consumers get annoyed by fellow shoppers when in line and 19% of shoppers have even had an argument with a partner or friend in a line.

The vast majority of consumers associate waiting in line with negative emotions. Nearly 67% of the consumers surveyed report feeling impatient, bored, annoyed, frustrated, or disrespected when they have to wait.

Notably, impatience skyrocketed this year (2024)—increasing by 176%. This suggests that consumers are shifting from boredom and annoyance towards impatience. This finding is unsurprising given our current social climate. Technology is increasing expectations for instant gratification while high levels of anxiety are shortening fuses. Surveys have shown that 25% would only wait a maximum of two minutes. Fifty-nine percent would wait no longer than four minutes. Seventy-three percent would abandon their purchase if they had to queue for more than five minutes.

Furthermore, the widespread transition to remote work during the pandemic resulted in reduced face-to-face interaction. And with a decrease in this time spent with our fellow humans, it has likely been more difficult to develop empathy and patience. Too much screen time may have caused “keyboard courage” to bleed into our day-to-day conversations, leaving us more abrupt and even rude in our communications.

Another cause of heightened emotions is the overall challenges people in the world are facing, including polarization, war, the underlying stress of inflation, supply chain issues, or looming economic uncertainty.

All of these factors are pushing people to their limits and resulting in an increase in burnout, frustration, and impatience in their interactions with others.

Hannah Payne was sentenced to life in prison in December of 2023 for the 2019 shooting death of Kenneth Herring. Payne was officially convicted of felony murder, malice murder, aggravated assault, and false imprisonment.

During the original incident, Payne chased down Herring after witnessing a hit-and-run involving him and another driver on Riverdale Road.

"I just seen her outside hitting on the window. And that’s what made me just grab my phone," recalled Cameron Williams, a truck driver who recorded footage of the interaction. This evidence eventually aided the prosecution in Payne’s conviction. Williams said that he saw Payne "yelling, hitting on the window, hitting on the door.”

According to authorities, Payne initially called 911 after witnessing the traffic incident, but ignored the advice of the dispatcher who told her not to follow Herring’s car. After pursuing Herring, she got into a confrontation with him, and eventually shot him, fatally wounding him in the stomach. Because of the footage, prosecutors were able to isolate images of Payne holding her gun, standing next to Herring’s truck.

Payne later told police that Herring had shot himself with her gun; the jury, however, did not agree with her version of events. It took them only two hours of deliberation before they rendered a guilty verdict. During the sentencing, Payne fought back tears as Judge Jewell Scott handed down her life sentence with a possibility of parole.

“Mr. Herring was a human worthy of saving,” the prosecutor said, when petitioning the court for the maximum allowable sentence. “He had a family to go home to.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

Incidents of road rage are becoming all too common as people struggle with mental health issues, the deterioration of society, and taking justice and retribution into their own hands in this age of lawlessness.

Conventional wisdom says that good things come to those who wait. That axiom rarely applies, however, to the drudgery of domestic air travel as most people go through the modern air travel system. Phil Stringer, however, is not most people.

Stringer travels for work quite often. So, when his early morning flight from Oklahoma City to his hometown of Charlotte experienced a maintenance-related flight delay, he took it in stride, relocating from the gate to a nearby Starbucks.

But then the delays continued, dragging on throughout the day. Eventually he outlasted the staff at the airport Starbucks, who had to kick him out so they could close. When he finally heard the boarding call, however, he was confused.

Stringer said in an interview, "I had thought that everyone had boarded and I was late, because no one was there But [the gate agent] was like, 'No, honey, you're the only one left.'" Everyone else, fed up with the lengthy delays, had sought other options.

The airline, however, could not simply cancel the flight, because the plane and its cargo were needed in Charlotte. So, after being unceremoniously summoned from their nearby hotel, the crew of four flight attendants went through their normal routine, despite having only one passenger. Stringer spent the two-and-a-half-hour flight laughing and joking with them, quite bemused by the novelty of the situation.

He captured his unique scenario with a video and uploaded it to TikTok, where it went viral with over eleven million likes. Stringer said, "We were like, look, we can either be negative about the situation and make a bad situation worse by our attitude. Or we can be positive, lighthearted, and try and make something of this and at least just have fun."

Stringer made some good friends that day, and made plans to see the group of attendants in their home base of Dallas the next time he comes through. He also heard from many people on social media who were encouraged to keep a positive attitude when their plans go awry.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Patience is a virtue precisely because part of the Christian life is waiting patiently on God for outcomes that only God can accomplish or control. When we exhibit patience, we are continually putting trust in God to accomplish the things God has promised.

In Fall 2022, the Gas app exploded in popularity among high schoolers, but a vicious, unfounded rumor caused its popularity to nosedive, confounding its founders in the process.

Titled after the internet slang “gas up” which means to flatter someone or give them good feelings, the app allows students to share anonymous compliments with their peers. But mere weeks after it reached No. 1 on the Apple store, rumors began circulating that Gas was being used for sex trafficking.

One user said, “I have a Glock and I’ll come into your house and kill all of you,” said Nikita Bier, the startup entrepreneur who founded Gas. “The messages are very detailed, and they’ll send like 150 of these messages because they’re so angry. We have had emails saying, ‘what you’re doing is disgusting and I’ve reported you to the FBI.’ We get countless messages every day from users about it.”

According to Bier, the rumors intensified after parents, teachers, news reporters, and public safety organizations amplified them without knowing if they were true or not.

One such agency was the police department in Piedmont, Oklahoma, which later had to post a retraction. Piedmont Police Chief Scott Singer later said, “That posting was the result of a post that was forwarded to us, which we later learned to be a bogus posting. As a result, we talked with the CEO of Gas, and we have determined it was a bogus posting. We have removed that from our Facebook page and informed the schools that any postings about that were discovered to be false.”

Bier says, “The app grows on its own, but dealing with the hoax requires a lot of labor.” He’s tried a variety of strategies to counter the misinformation, but it seems none of them are very effective. “The challenge is that you can only fight memes with memes. If it’s not easily screenshotable and exciting it’s not going to get more visibility than the original message.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

Nothing can ruin a good situation like poor judgment and unbridled gossiping. As Christians we ought to set an example both by what we say and what we choose NOT to say.

The next time LeQuedra Edwards unexpectedly bumps into someone, she might expect more than just an awkward situation. Because her last unexpected bump resulted in some very good fortune. Edwards was in a convenience store when she spent $40 on a lottery vending machine. However, when she went to make her selection, a rude patron bumped into her, causing her to push an unintended number on the machine. Edwards said, “He just bumped into me, didn't say a thing and just walked out the door.”

Instead of spending money on several lower-priced tickets as usual, she ended up spending most of her money on a $30 Scratchers ticket. But her irritation quickly faded after she went to the car, scratched off the numbers on her ticket, and realized that she’d won the grand prize of $10 million.

She said, "I didn't really believe it at first, but I got on the freeway and kept looking down at (the ticket) and I almost crashed my car. I pulled over, looked at it again and again, scanned it with my app and I just kept thinking, 'This can't be right.'"

According to the news release, Edwards plans to use her winnings to buy a house and launch a nonprofit organization.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Even our accidents can be redeemed by God for our good.

When a protester at a press conference in Boston stood up to make his voice known, he intended to attack the credibility of Boston mayor Michelle Wu.

The unidentified man wearing sunglasses and a mask asked city officials to probe all criminal cases involving Annie Dookhan, a former chemist who pleaded guilty years prior to evidence tampering and falsifying drug results. Dookhan’s involvement has the potential to taint thousands of drug cases over the years.

The protester said, “You’re a political puppet … Why don’t you look into it, Mayor Wu? Look into that — you’ll find the truth, Mayor Wu.”

Unfortunately, the woman at the platform was not Mayor Wu, but Beth Huang, executive director of Massachusetts Voter Table, a voting-rights advocacy group. “If only being a 5’4″ Asian woman imbued in me the powers of being mayor of Boston,” Huang wrote on Twitter the following day.

Possible Preaching Angle:

When people make careless accusations without having all the facts, they can cause great damage and even discredit the cause for which they stand.

On May 25, 1979, Denis Waitley was desperately trying to catch a flight from Chicago to Los Angeles. When he arrived at his gate, they had just closed the jetway. Denis begged them to let him on that airplane. No luck! Out of breath and out of patience, he made his way to the ticket counter to register a complaint and rebook his travel. While he was waiting in line, an announcement came over the airport intercom. AA Flight 191 to Los Angeles had crashed upon takeoff.

The engine on the left wing of that DC-10 sepa­rated from the airplane right after takeoff. The unbalanced aerodynam­ics caused the plane to roll, a roll from which it could not recover. All 271 people on board died in the crash. It was the deadliest aviation accident in United States history.

That near-death experience had a life-altering impact on Denis Waitley. Had he been on time, it would have been the last day of his life. Needless to say, he never registered his complaint. In fact, he never re­turned his ticket for Flight 191. He took his paper ticket and put it in a visible place in his office. On difficult days, the days when he felt like throwing in the towel, all it took was one glance at that ticket to regain perspective. That ticket was a constant reminder that every day is a gift.

Are you impatient with slowpokes and frustrated by waiting? If so, you will identify with what Chelsea Wald wrote in an article:

Not long ago I diagnosed myself with the recently identified condition of sidewalk rage. It’s most pronounced when it comes to a certain friend who is a slow walker. Last month, as we sashayed our way to dinner, I found myself biting my tongue, thinking, I have to stop going places with her if I ever want to … get there!

Slowness rage is not confined to the sidewalk, of course. Slow drivers, slow Internet, slow grocery lines—they all drive us crazy. Slow things drive us crazy because the fast pace of society has warped our sense of timing. Things that our great-great-grandparents would have found miraculously efficient now drive us around the bend. Patience is a virtue that’s been vanquished in the Twitter age.

Make no mistake: Society continues to pick up speed. In his book, Social Acceleration, Hartmut Rosa informs us that the speed of human movement from pre-modern times to now has increased by a factor of 100. The speed of communications has skyrocketed by a factor of 10 million, and data transmission has soared by a factor of around 10 billion. A study found that even our walking speed has increased by 10 percent since the 1990s.

Wald concludes:

So, on a recent stroll with my slow-walking friend, I think fondly of her charming sense of humor, our fun outings, her support during tough times. As we walk, languidly, to a restaurant, I feel momentarily free of my sidewalk rage. Yet as this warm feeling passes over me in the restaurant, I begin quietly raging at the server, the kitchen, and I’m even raging at my rage; it feels like it’s lasting forever.

Possible Preaching Angles:

1) Frustration; Impatience; Waiting – Frustrated by slow people and slow answers to prayer? Slow down, take a deep breath, and try counting your blessings. Thank God for all the conveniences you enjoy in your life. Recognize that God has a purpose in delaying your timing. 2) Pastor; Minister – Don’t rush from one person to the next after the service or become frustrated if one congregant requires extra time. Give each person your full attention and care, showing them that they matter to God.

In his book, Heath Adamson describes the process of correctly diagnosing a problem:

Horst Schulze, the former COO of Ritz-Carlton Hotels, told the story of one manager's discovery of a problem that seemed to confuse almost everyone. Numerous complaints came in to management because room service was repeatedly delayed. The eggs were cold, the toast was hard, and guests were inconvenienced. Mr. Schulze described a typical response as being something along the lines of scolding the supervisor for being incompetent. As one could expect, the discouraged supervisor would then gather their staff around and do the same to them. Blame would cascade down from one person to the next. But this isn't what happened at the Ritz-Carlton.

The Ritz-Carlton manager assembled the team, and they studied the problem. The kitchen staff prepared the food on time. The staff quickly took the trays to the elevator for delivery. They discovered that the issue had nothing to do with the kitchen staff but rather the service elevators were not always available. This delayed delivery. Then, they continued to study the situation by using a stopwatch to time the elevators for an entire morning.

The reason the food was delayed and arriving to the rooms cold had nothing to do with irresponsible kitchen staff or faulty elevators. A decision by management to reduce the number of bedsheets on each floor was causing the housekeepers to use the elevators more frequently, thus tying them up more. Trying to save money by reducing the number of bedsheets purchased, stored, and washed actually created more challenges in the long run and resulted in angry customers and poor room service. Misdiagnosing a problem never results in solving it.

Did you know that cats can’t taste the flavor of sweetness? That’s right. Felines cannot taste sweet. It’s like their tongues are color blind to sugar. No wonder cats are so grumpy all the time! They can taste sour, bitter, saltiness, and meatiness, but not sweetness.

Are you a cat? Maybe you should get a dog in your life. Maybe when dogs are barking at cats, they’re just trying to cheer them up! If you’re a dog, use your bark to cheer up a cat. And if you’re a cat who struggles to taste the sweetness of life, find a dog to be your friend. I know dogs can be really annoying but they’re good for your soul.

Possible Preaching Angles:

A humorous way to encourage people who are down.

Richard Lee had been the lone police officer in the small town of Croydon, New Hampshire for 20 years. So, when the local board decided to outsource their law enforcement needs to the state police, Lee walked out, disgusted.

But disgust was likely shared by many of his fellow residents and onlookers, because after surrendering the keys to his cruiser, his badge, and his firearm, he also took off his uniform. All of it. Lee said, “I gave them my uniform shirt. I gave them my ballistic vest. ... I sat down in the chair, took off my boots, took off my pants, put those in the chair, and put my boots back on, and walked out the door.”

Lee later explained that he didn’t want to face the prospect of arrest for unauthorized use of police gear. After leaving the board meeting, Lee walked for almost a mile before his wife came with the car to pick him up.

Possible Preaching Angle:

In the Bible, servants of God often used their clothing (or lack thereof) to express displeasure, heartache, or mourning; such bold prophetic displays are meant to convey God's heart for justice and righteousness and the deep shame of falling short of God's standards.

Source:

Associated Press, “Police chief stripped of duties disrobes, walks into storm in underwear,” KomoNews.com (2-19-20)

A man has been arrested on suspicion of “fraudulent obstruction of business” after making over 24,000 complaint calls to his local phone company. Akitoshi Okamoto was angry with his telephone service provider for a variety of reasons, including the fact that he was unable to receive radio signals on his telephone. Police say that he initially demanded an apology in person from company staffers, but later began immediately terminating the calls as soon as they were placed. Averaging 33 calls per day, police allege that in one particular week Okamoto made over four hundred calls.

Sources say that this particular uptick of escalating behavior is emblematic of Japan’s rapidly aging populace who need more outlets for expression.

Potential Preaching Angle: We all have a responsibility to use our words wisely; there are consequences when we continually complain without warrant

In the Entre Leadership podcast, author Stephen Mansfield compares how barnacles slow down sea vessels to the affect gossip can have an organization or church. Some of the facts discussed in the podcast:

-Barnacles can slow down ships by as much as 40% as reported by the US Navy.

-Barnacles can get inside engines and can be added weight on the hull.

-Barnacles can actually crack the hull of smaller vessels.

-Barnacles diminish the aerodynamics of the boat.

-The number of barnacles multiply rapidly due to the constant reproduction.

-The US Navy spends $500 million a year to scrape barnacles off ships.

Possible Preaching Angles: Faultfinding; Gossip – Gossip slows down the mission and vision of the church and it affects the health of the body. There is a cost to dealing with gossip, but it’s worth it. This illustration provides a positive way to preach on a negative subject.

Headlines rocketed through social media after billionaire Robert F. Smith made an unprecedented announcement during his commencement speech in front of the Morehouse College graduating class of 2019. "My family is going to create a grant to eliminate your student loans," Smith told the senior class. "You great Morehouse men are bound only by the limits of your own conviction and creativity."

The momentous announcement generated plenty of buzz for the historically black, all male college. Plenty of jokes and memes predictably followed. (“’Are you free this time next year?’ asked the Class of 2020.”)

However, an undercurrent of resentment has been stirred up among other African Americans who saved and sacrificed in order to pay for their children’s college education. Michelle Singletary, a personal finance columnist for The Washington Post, explains:

There’s a common complaint I hear from some parents who have sacrificed and saved for their children to attend college debt-free … Was my labor in vain? Those not on the receiving end of this amazing gift might have thought to themselves, even for just a second: “What about us? What do we get for doing the right thing and saving for our kids to go to college debt-free?”

Still, Singletary has encouraging words for those who did it the hard way.

Your saving and sacrificing doesn’t make you a … loser. It makes you responsible and fortunate. There’s so much reward in living within your means, including setting a good example for your children. Whether it’s a surprise gift from a billionaire or need-based aid given to some other’s person’s child, don’t resent what others get.

Potential Preaching Angles: God’s generosity should not be confused with our human instinct for fairness or equivalence, because God’s extravagant love and grace know no bounds. We miss the mark when we devalue God’s generosity by arguing about fairness.

The barracks where Corrie ten Boom and her sister, Betsy, were kept in the Nazi concentration camp, Ravensbruck, were terribly overcrowded and flea-infested. They had been able to miraculously smuggle a Bible into the camp, and in that Bible they had read that in all things they were to give thanks and that God can use anything for good.

Betsy decided that this meant thanking God for the fleas. This was too much for Corrie, who said she could do no such thing. Betsy insisted, so Corrie gave in and prayed to God, thanking him even for the fleas.

Over the next several months a wonderful, but curious, thing happened: They found that the guards never entered their barracks.

This meant that the women were not assaulted. It also meant that they were able to do the unthinkable, which was to hold open Bible studies and prayer meetings in the heart of a Nazi concentration camp. Through this, countless numbers of women came to faith in Christ.

Only at the end did they discover why the guards had left them alone and would not enter into their barracks: It was because of the fleas.

This Thanksgiving, give thanks to God for every good and perfect gift (Jam. 1:17), but also thank him for how he will use all things for good in the lives of those who trust him (Rom. 8:28).

In this time of declining home values and rising unemployment, in a time when many are facing physical and emotional challenges, there can be little doubt that such a trusting prayer of gratitude will be challenging to consider.

But when you feel that challenge, take a moment and remember the fleas of Ravensbruck.

And thank God anyway.

Singer and pop star Billy Joel's early albums were massive hits. But according to an interview with New York magazine Joel has always been unsatisfied with his music. "I never felt as good as I wanted to be," Joel said. "My bar was Beethoven." Although Joel performed a show at Madison Square Garden in July of 2024, it's been 32 years since he released a new album (as of 2025).

His reluctance to write new songs stems largely from his critics, who have often savaged his music as sappy and shallow. Joel said, "Because I studied music I was suspect to critics. To them you're supposed to be a diamond in the rough and polish yourself." Apparently Joel's inability to overcome his internal and external critics have frozen his creativity.

Spurned by family members who left him out of an event, an Oregon man got his revenge in a most public, disruptive fashion.

Sonny Donnie Smith, 38, was sentenced to three years of probation after he dialed in a terrorist threat that implicated his father and brother, who were both traveling through airports. He placed two anonymous phone calls to McCarran International Airport in Las Vegas, and Midland International Air and Space Port, in Midland, Texas.

Smith's father and brother were detained and questioned as part of an investigation, which eventually yielded no evidence of terrorist activity. The temporary detention caused Smith's brother to miss his flight.

US District Judge Anna Brown was reserved in her words to Smith: "I hope you appreciate what you did really did disrupt not just your family but the whole system,'' Brown said.

Smith was tearful and apologetic as he stood before the court, and his attorney Todd Bofferding requested that his sentence not include community service, because Smith's emotional needs were so pressing. Bofferding claimed his client suffers from high levels of anxiety and has been prescribed anti-anxiety and anti-psychotic medication.

As if to confirm his counsel's advocacy, Smith burst into tears at the conclusion of the hearing.

Potential Preaching Angles: Jealousy can turn into immorality under the guise of pranking. When family members turn against each other, it's a sign of impending destruction. If we can't love our family members, it's difficult to love God.

Our harmful words may have negative consequences that we ever imagined. James Stephens learned that lesson the hard way. Stephens was fired from his job as chief financial officer for the Georgia Subsequent Injury Trust Fund after his boss heard some less-than-flattering commentary, courtesy of an accidental pocket-dial.

Mike Coan, director of the fund and Stephens' supervisor, had a habit of calling after hours. After one such call, Stephens had a heated conversation with his wife about Coan, who was listening after Stephens accidentally called him back.

Consequently, Stephens is filing suit against his boss for eavesdropping and invasion of privacy. David Guldenschuh, the attorney representing both Stephens and his wife, claims that once Coan knew the conversation was intended to be private, he had a legal obligation to terminate the call, referring to the call as "voyeuristic eavesdropping" and "felonious conduct."

Rikki Klieman, legal analyst for CBS News, understands the rationale for the lawsuit, but sees a potential hurdle in its ability to proceed. "What we find here is someone who really believed he had a reasonable expectation of privacy in having a very, very confidential conversation with his wife and that yet, it may not be private at all."

Potential Preaching Angles: The tongue is hard to tame, be careful in our communication, what's done in private can be revealed in public.