Desire

In an issue of CT magazine, author Jen Wilkin writes:

Individualism says that I should do what’s best for me regardless of what’s best for others. Instant gratification assures me that waiting is an enemy to eliminate. At every turn, I am told that I can and should have what I want when I want it.

Earlier this year, my husband and I spent two weeks with an apparent narcissist named Charlotte. From the moment we stepped into her space, it was all about her. She demanded our full attention day and night. Forget rational arguments or the needs of others; it was The Charlotte Show 24/7. She thought only of herself and demanded loudly and often that her needs be met. Our schedules bowed to her every whim. She uttered not a word of gratitude during the entire 14 days.

And we didn’t mind one bit. Because all 7 pounds and 15 ounces of her was doing exactly what she should. Our newest grandchild’s age-appropriate focus is to declare, Me, right now! Any time she is tired, hungry, or needs a clean diaper. Babies self-advocate as a survival instinct. They understand only the immediate need.

But what is appropriate in an infant is appalling in an adult. In its obsession with “me, right now,” our culture doesn’t just worship youthfulness; it worships childishness, legitimizing it into adulthood. An adult who demands what he wants when he wants it is a costly presence in any community, prioritizing his own needs above those of others and of the group. He has not learned to “put away childish things,” as the Bible says (1 Cor. 13:11, KJV); he has managed to grow physically from a baby to an adult without shedding the childish mantra of “me, right now.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

As parents, our first challenge is to meet the needs of babies crying out, “Me, right now.” But our greater task over the years is to train our children to mature and outgrow their entitlement, to resist the narcissistic norms of our age. It is our job as Christian parents to move our children from the immaturity of individualism and instant gratification to the maturity of sacrificial service and delayed gratification.

Generation Z isn’t convinced monogamy is the best relationship structure, and more than half of them are considering relationship styles long considered taboo in American culture.

New data from Ashley Madison, the dating website built for affairs, found Gen Z was over represented among new signups to the site, regardless of if they were married or not. In 2022 alone more than 1.8 million Gen Z joined (of which more than one million were from the U.S.) representing 40% of all signups.

More and more Gen Zers, like reddit user r/Marmatus, are sharing their experience of having non-monogamous relationships. Marmatus wrote:

It’s nice having the freedom to explore your sexuality safely and ethically with other people. The thought of going an entire lifetime only ever having one sexual partner is not something I’d choose for myself. There are only so many experiences that one person can give you.

Ashley Madison’s Chief Strategy Officer Paul Keable said he thinks what makes Gen Z different when it comes to non-monogamy is the way this generation understands shame. He mentioned the prevalence of premarital sex–something that’s most Americans feel is no longer morally wrong. Studies have found that premarital sex is practically universal in America with 95% of survey respondents saying they had sex before they were married.

Leanne Yau, a relationship expert said,

What is it about exclusivity that is so precious to society, particularly given that infidelity is extremely common in monogamous relationships? I think the normalization of queer rights and kink becoming more mainstream and people exploring their desires has opened people to the transformative power of exploring your sexuality.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Sin has consequences, as God’s Word so clearly says. Any generation who thinks that it can live in defiance of God’s standards is headed for destruction. Both Sodom and the world of Noah’s day learned this difficult lesson by way of God’s judgment.

YouTuber Tom Scott says the Strid at Bolton Abby in Yorkshire, England “is the most dangerous stretch of water in the world.” Standing in front of this harmless looking stream, he acknowledges it doesn't look like much. And he's right. “But I stand by it,” he says, “because the water is so deceptive, and so pretty, and there's a path that leads straight down to it and that jump looks very, very possible.”

Scott acknowledges that there are bodies of water that have taken more lives. But he still insists that this is the most dangerous. The reason: most of the times if a body of water is treacherous, you can see the danger. But the Strid is just a stream in the middle of the woods. Only a few feet wide, a person could easily jump over it. Some do and make it, but those who don't, always die. The stream has taken many lives, and there have been no confirmed reports of an individual falling in and surviving.

Why? Upstream the river is broad and shallow. But where the water meets the valley, the flow has cut deep into the river bed. It is as deep in the Strid as it is wide in the shallows. The rocks that seem to invite visitors to walk right up to the edge are actually ledges that allow the water to move slowly at the surface but mask a deep swirling torrent.

Scott concludes, “That's why it’s so dangerous, it looks calm and safe. It looks tempting. And it will kill you.”

You can view the short (2:12) video here.

Editor’s Note: Tom Scott is a prominent YouTuber whose channel offers educational videos across a range of topics including history, geography, linguistics, science, and technology.

The CDC’s yearly youth report found that around a quarter of high school students identify as gay, bisexual, or have a more fluid sexuality. This compares to just 75.5 percent of 14 to 18-year-olds said they were heterosexual in 2021—a new low.

The remainder said they were either bisexual (12.1 percent), gay or lesbian (3.2 percent), “other” (3.9 percent) or said they “questioned” their sexuality (5.2 percent). The percentage of students who do not view themselves as straight has more than doubled in recent years—from 11 percent in 2015 to 24.5 percent in 2021.

Rates of alternate sexualities in school-aged children are much higher than the adult population—where about seven percent are gay, bisexual, or other. Experts say the explosion in alternative sexualities among children can be partly attributed to increased acceptance. Dr. Mollie Blackburn, who teaches sexuality studies at Ohio State University, said: “It's an increase in acceptance from both parents and society. [Accepting people] creates a context where a child will be more willing to say that they are gay.”

But Jay Richard, a senior research fellow at the Heritage Foundation, said the rise of gender studies in American schools in recent years was partly behind the rise. “There is no doubt in my mind that schools are absolutely playing a role in this growth.” In recent years, some schools have begun teaching sex education as young as second grade.

Richard also claimed the increased political focus on social justice was incentivizing children to say they were not heterosexual, to seem “less plain. ... There are social incentives to declaring yourself a sexual minority. There is nothing you have to do to be bisexual. You just wanna make yourself cooler.”

Seventeen percent of evangelical women between the ages of 15 and 44 have had sex with another woman, according to data gathered by the CDC and analyzed by Grove City College sociology professor David Ayers. Among evangelical men, the percentage who’ve had sex with other men hovers around five percent.

Changing attitudes toward same-sex relationships—in the US generally and among older and younger evangelicals specifically—have been well documented. The same-sex experiences and orientation of younger evangelicals, however, have not been widely reported.

The CDC surveyed about 11,300 people about sex, sexual health, and attitudes and preferences. More than 1,800 of those people were evangelical, as defined by their denominational affiliation. Looking at that subset, Ayers was able to determine that roughly one percent of evangelical women identify as lesbian and about five percent say they are bisexual. Among evangelical girls aged 15 to 17, more than 10 percent identify as bi.

Ayers asks,

Why are so many younger evangelical females today open to sex with other women? The simple biblical teaching that all sex outside of marriage between one man and one woman is sinful is hardly secret or subtle …. And yet, among younger people especially, it has been quite a few years since biblical beliefs and practices have been the norm among evangelicals.

Writer, poet, and hip-hop artist Jackie Hill Perry was a lesbian in a loving relationship when she felt God calling her to a different life:

God knew he wouldn’t get my attention in a church. Churches didn’t care too well for people like me. Me, being a gay girl. So God came to my house. As suddenly and randomly as Paul was struck blind on the Damascus Road, I had the unsettling thought that my sin would be “the death of me.”

Prior to that moment, the sin I wore on my sleeve was that of a lesbian: a label I had the courage to give myself at age 17. I liked girls, and I knew it, “But I don’t want to be straight,” I said to God, meaning every single word.

I had grown up in the traditional black church, where sermons were presented in a Mount Sinai kind of way, both loud and heavy. I’d heard the preacher speak for God when he read to us from Romans 1 about God giving his creatures over to the sinful desires of their hearts, which included men and women “exchang[ing] natural sexual relations” for “shameful lusts” toward members of the same sex (v. 26).

So when my thoughts spoke of my sin, which I knew to be a prompting from God and not my subconscious behaving unnaturally. What offended me most was that idea that my sin was to be the death of me. Because if that were true, then surely I would be asked to lay it aside for the sake of life.

I loved my girlfriend too much not to be appalled at the prospect of laying aside not only the way I loved but also who I loved. I loved her, and she loved me—but God loved me more. So much so that he wouldn’t have me going about the rest of my life convinced that a creature’s love was better than a King’s.

Homosexuality might have been my loudest sin, but it was not my only sin. By calling me to himself, he was after my whole heart. When God saves, he saves holistically. That night, I knew that it wasn’t just my lesbianism that had me at odds with God—it was my entire heart

I sat up in my bed and thought deeply about all that was happening in me. Now it seemed as if God was inviting me to know him. To love him. To be in relationship with him. That moment—that epiphany that my sin, left untreated, would be “the death of me”—wasn’t a matter of trying to be straight or even trying to escape hell. No, it was about God positioning himself before my eyes, so that I could finally see that he is everything he says he is—and worthy to be trusted.

In the same Bible where I found condemnation (Rom. 1:18-32), I also found the good news that God loved and died for people like me so that I could live forever (John 3:16). I didn’t need to know much more than that. Without a sermon - I saw Jesus. He was better than everything I’d ever known and more worthy of having everything that I thought was mine to own, including my affections.

Shortly after that pivotal night, I was doing the painful work of breaking up with my girlfriend. Her tears were too loud to listen to without regret. To leave her, our love, made no sense apart from the divine doing of God. Though it was painful, it was better for me to lose her than to lose my soul. “I just gotta live for God now,” I said with a tear-broken voice. A new identity was to come after I hung up.

I had no idea what would come next or how I’d have the power to resist everything I’d once lived for, but I knew that if Jesus was God and if God was mighty to save, then surely, God would be mighty to keep. And 10 years later, he is still keeping this girl godly.

A shocking new poll claims that 30% of American women under 25 identify as homosexual, bisexual, or transgender. There is a continuing of “singledom”—a preference for non-married life—among young women in the United States.

Neither the societal shift away from traditional gender roles nor the downstream cultural consequences of that shift are anywhere near complete. Beginning in 2009, for the first time in history, there were more unmarried women in the United States than married ones.

Rod Dreher, writing at The American Conservative says,

We have become a society that no longer values the natural family. And now we have 30 percent of Gen Z women claiming to be sexually uninterested in men. There is nothing remotely normal about that number. It is a sign of a deeply decadent culture — that is, a culture that lacks the wherewithal to survive. The most important thing that a generation can do is produce the next generation. No families, no children, no future.

Andrew Sullivan, a popular mainstream political and societal commentator who identifies as homosexual, isn’t buying the stats. He seems to think they are way out of line and suggestive of openness to “female sexual fluidity.” Sullivan tweeted, “Wild guess: 25 percent bi - meaning female sexual fluidity; 3 percent exclusively lesbian; 1.9 percent trendy trans; 0.1 percent actually trans.”

While the reported statistics about female sexuality are shocking, the rise of “singlehood” is by itself cause for great alarm. Stella Morabito, a senior editor at The Federalist noted, “Any way you look at it, the United States has undergone a seismic shift in marriage culture over the past few decades.”

In an interview with Terri Gross, Grammy Award winning songwriter/singer Brandi Carlile was asked about her church’s refusal to baptize her when she was a teenager. The host, Terry Gross asked, “How were you told that you weren't going to be baptized?” Carlile responded,

I was doing the things I thought I was supposed to do. But on the day of my baptism my friends and family had all been invited to the church to see this go down. I got there and was taken aside and told that unless I declared that I intended to no longer be gay, that I couldn't be baptized that day. And it just came as such a shock … it was a big shift in my life spiritually and musically and emotionally.

Gross then asked, “What was the shift spiritually?” Carlile replied,

Well, it made me rethink, where God was in this church? Was God in these people? Was God in these displays of piety, like this grandstanding of baptism, and these testimonials? Or was God maybe in places I'd yet to go, like in music or outside of my town on out on the road out of my house?

At that point I had never even been on an airplane before. So, it's when I knew that it was time for me to seek beyond my station. ... It gave me a sense of a faith in God that's an unshakable by the whims of culture, by politics, by people or by organized religion, and by (the) church specifically.

Currently, Carlile and her wife have two children and they live on a compound in the state of Washington with their extended family. The singer/songwriter she idolized, Elton John, has become a friend.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Carlile turned away from her church and her evangelical faith because she would not give up her homosexual identity. Redefining church, the Bible, and God to fit one’s choice of lifestyle is extremely dangerous and an example of false postmodern religion.

When three-year-old Kali Porter decided she wanted a bouncy ball from the claw machine, she first tried the direct approach, attempting to grab it on her own. But when she couldn’t fit inside the machine herself, she called for backup. That’s how Alivia “Tinky” Porter, Kali’s two-year-old cousin, ended up getting stuck in the claw machine at the Billy Beez fun center in the Destiny USA mall in Syracuse.

Grandmother Jackie Perez said, “Seeing the balls inside the machine was like a trigger for them. It only took one second and they were gone. My grandkids are very adventurous.”

When Kali came to report Alivia’s predicament, Perez was almost impressed. “I thought she might be like halfway stuck. But when we got there her whole body was in it. If someone put a quarter in the machine, they could have used the claw to pick her up.”

Eventually first responders were dispatched, and within ten minutes of arriving on scene, firefighters had pried open the door, retrieved Alivia, and deposited her into her grandmother’s waiting arms. Perez said, “They worked so fast. Everyone was in great spirits. I wasn’t scared at all. When they got Tinky out it was like the firemen won a prize.”

After spending almost fifteen minutes inside the glass claw machine, Perez said that her granddaughter Alivia was still in good spirits. “She hasn’t had any bad reactions. I actually think she enjoyed it.”

Less enthused was Kali. Upon Alivia’s release from the claw machine, Kali had only one question for her cousin: “Where is the ball?”

Possible Preaching Angle:

Sin is attractive and can lure us into embarrassing or dangerous situations if we yield to it. Before we know it, we are trapped. Nevertheless, God is faithful to save and can deliver us from temptations, even those of our own making.

In Greek mythology, ancient sailors faced many dangers at sea. One of the most unusual was that of the sirens who used their mesmerizing songs to lure sailors to their deaths on the rocky shore. Two famous Greeks were able to sail by them successfully.

One was Odysseus, who stopped up the ears of his men with wax and then had his men tie him to the ship’s mast. This way his men were safe, and he was able to hear the siren’s sweet song with relatively little harm.

The other was the legendary Orpheus who was sailing with Jason and the Argonauts. As they approached the sirens and began to hear the siren’s voices drift across the water, Orpheus took out his lyre and began to sing an even more charming melody to the men.

Orpheus, not Odysseus, represents the success we want. We can pass some tests by restricting our bodies (be tied to a mast) or limiting our access to temptation (fill our ears with wax). But in the end, the holy desires of our heart must rise and conquer. The desire to love and follow Jesus must be a sweeter song to us than the music of the world and our flesh.

There is a movement within evangelicalism that is trying to argue that the Bible affirms, or at least does not prohibit, same-sex sexual relationships. But renowned progressive New Testament scholar Luke Timothy Johnson disagrees with this approach, even though he himself also holds an affirming position.

He writes, “I have little patience with efforts to make Scripture say something other than what it says, through appeals to linguistic or cultural subtleties. The exegetical situation is straightforward: we know what the text says.”

He continues:

I think it important to state clearly that we do, in fact, reject the straightforward commands of Scripture, and appeal instead to another authority when we declare that same-sex unions can be holy and good. And what exactly is that authority? We appeal explicitly to the weight of our own experience and the experience thousands of others have witnessed to, which tells us that to claim our own sexual orientation is in fact to accept the way in which God has created us.

Possible Preaching Angle:

While we disagree with Johnson’s conclusions, we have to admire his intellectual integrity. On this subject of same-sex sexual relationships, the Bible is clear: “We know what the text says.” The only question is whether that is the authority one chooses to live by.

Of the hundreds of men I’ve counseled about their sexual addictions, not one has told me that after masturbating he felt stronger, more confident, and more vitally connected to the deep part of his soul. Debates over whether or not masturbation is a sin totally miss the point. The crucial question is not whether masturbation is right or wrong. The question is, as it is with any thought or behavior, does it hinder our spiritual, emotional, and social maturity? Does it stand in the way of love?

Rolling Stone magazine reported Angels in America actor Andrew Garfield is trying to live his life as openly as possible--including when it comes to his sexuality. Garfield explained that while he currently identifies as a heterosexual man, he is not shutting out the possibility of being attracted to men in the future.

He said:

Up until this point, I've only been sexually attracted to women. My stance toward life, though, is that I always try to surrender to the mystery of not being in charge. I think most people – we're intrinsically trying to control our experience here, and manage it, and put walls around what we are and who we are. I want to know as much of the garden as possible before I pass. I have an openness to any impulses that may arise within me at any time.

Notre Dame political scientist Patrick Deneen’s new book, Why Liberalism Failed, is a challenge to those who want to revive the liberal democratic order.

Deneen argues that liberal democracy has betrayed its promises. It was supposed to foster equality, but it has led to great inequality and a new aristocracy. It was supposed to give average people control over government, but average people feel alienated from government. It was supposed to foster liberty, but it creates a degraded popular culture in which consumers become slave to their appetites.

Many young people feel trapped in a system they have no faith in. Deneen quotes one of his students: “Because we view humanity—and thus its institutions—as corrupt and selfish, the only person we can rely upon is our self. The only way we can avoid failure, being let down, and ultimately succumbing to the chaotic world around us, therefore, is to have the means (financial security) to rely only upon ourselves.”

Pastor and author Paul David Tripp uses the following scenario to describe what's really going on every time a man chooses to lust (or anytime anyone chooses to sin):

A man is walking home from work and lusting after the woman approaching him on the sidewalk. He slows down his walk to get a longer look, and he turns around and watches as she passes. Think with me again about the godlike posture of this man. First, he is treating this moment as if it belongs to him. It's as if he is sovereign and she is on the sidewalk according to his will and for his pleasure. He's the self-appointed deity of the moment … The world has shrunk to the size of his desire, and he rules it for his pleasure. … He will have what he will have, even if it is the only the right to stare at body parts and imagine having them for his pleasure.

But there is more. For that moment he is stealing God's creation and taking it as his own. He has no right to this woman. She does not actually belong to him in any way, but he takes her with his mind and his eyes. … He's ripped this woman out of the hands of God and claimed her as his own for whatever momentary pleasure he can achieve … He has denied God's existence. He has set himself up as God.

What's the solution to this godlike delusion of lust? Tripp continues:

Recognition of and living for the community with God for which I was created keeps my sexual life pure. There is no other way. Heart-controlling love for God protects my heart from wandering to all the places it could wander in this sexually insane world.

In the interview with Jonathan Merritt, N.T. Wright said:

We need to remind ourselves that the entire biblical sexual ethic is deeply counter-intuitive. All human beings some of the time, and some human beings most of the time, have deep heartfelt longings for kinds of sexual intimacy or gratification (multiple partners, pornography, whatever) which do not reflect the creator's best intentions for his human creatures, intentions through which new wisdom and flourishing will come to birth. Sexual restraint is mandatory for all, difficult for most, extremely challenging for some. God is gracious and merciful but this never means that his creational standards don't really matter after all.

For nearly 30 years, art forger Mark Landis made headlines for duping dozens of museums into accepting fakes into their collections. Landis admits he has always had a mischievous streak. When contacting museums, he would often use aliases and dress like a Jesuit priest. With his odd demeanor and near encyclopedic knowledge of art history, Landis could easily come across as an eccentric art collector.

His skills with a pencil or paintbrush are undeniable. Often using a magnifying glass, Landis studies a print of an original work and, with meticulous attention to detail, copies exactly what he sees: religious icons, impressionist or modern works. His re-creations in the style of old masters are astonishing—and so are his tools. They include magic markers and pens and Wal-Mart frames … raw materials that proper forgers might not use.

More than 45 museums could not tell the difference between Landis' copies and original works. Not only were his fakes convincing, but he also knew exactly what to say when he met with museums. As one museum director explains, Landis would imply he had more paintings he might donate "and possible endowments from the family's estate." The museum director admits: "He knew right where to hit us. Our soft spot: art and money."

Stuart Moffatt awoke on the Saturday before Easter, loaded up his wife and three kids in the family car, and headed to the annual Easter Egg Hunt in the British town of Holford, Somerset. About 25 children participated in the egg hunt in the field beside the busy road. As the hunt was drawing to an end, the parents began counting the gathered eggs to see if all had been found.

Stuart looked out and noticed a three-year-old little boy had wandered out toward the road, and had apparently found another egg. Not recalling placing an egg that close to the road, Stuart walked out to the child, who was now standing on top of the egg. Impressed that the egg did not crack, Stuart walked up and noticed the egg was oddly shaped and textured. It wasn't until he knelt beside the little boy, still standing on top of the egg, that Stuart realized it was not an egg at all. It was a hand grenade.

In fact, it was a live, fully-functional World War 2 grenade. Stuart picked the boy up off the grenade and backed away. A bomb disposal unit was called in, and destroyed the grenade in a controlled explosion.

It's hard to fault the child. After all, it looked like an Easter egg, and Easter eggs were what he was looking for. But, sometimes, you get more than you bargained for. What you see looks like what you want, feels like what you want. But when you get it, the results can be explosive.

Processed food giant Kraft Foods came to marketers Ogilvy & Mather with an interesting request—to reintroduce their "Shreddies" cereal as a brand leader … but without any news about the cereal to promote, or any change to the product of any kind. In fact, people liked the cereal just fine the way that it was. It was successful, just not successful enough to please the Cereal Overlords.

Ogilvy & Mather decided to simply rotate the "square" cereal bits 45 degrees in photographs, and rename the exact same product "Diamond Shreddies." The campaign was massively successful. One expert says: "This … shows that by simply changing one Visual Element of your product to look more Triangular than Square, even an age-old established brand like Post's Shreddies Cereal can see immediate and sustainable growth of 18% in just one month. By more closely matching their target market's Visual Desires, Kraft Foods received an immediate boost in sales, resulting in millions upon millions in immediate, additional, and ongoing profits."

You can watch the video here

Possible Preaching Angle:

Ah, just target those "Visual Desires" and we're all hooked. It's a familiar story (and as old as the Garden): we'll fall for any trick if it matches our "Visual Desires."