Disappointment

A recent article in The Wall Street Journal notes that “Fake Job Postings Are Becoming a Real Problem.” The article details how these fake postings are crushing the spirits of job seekers:

It’s a common feeling when looking at a job listing online: the title is perfect, the pay is right, and the company seems like a solid place to work. But you also wonder if that job is real.

Lots of job seekers have a story about the postings that linger online but never seem to get filled. Those so-called ghost jobs—the roles that companies advertise but have no intention of filling—may account for as much as one in five jobs advertised online.

The [fake] listings are dispiriting for workers, leading many to distrust potential employers and make a difficult process feel rigged against them. ‘It’s kind of a horror show,’ said one job site search business. ‘The job market has become more soul-crushing than ever.’

Possible Preaching Angle:

In the same way, the lies of the world, the flesh, and the devil can crush our souls with false promises and expectations.

We all carry the memories of unspoken words and missed opportunities. The quiet echoes of regret and the whispered reminder that perfection is elusive and regret is a constant companion. So, it’s no surprise that a new poll finds that most Americans are concerned about the road not taken in their lives. And when it comes to regrets, people are more likely to dwell on things they didn’t do than the things they have done.

A survey of 2,000 U.S. adults, which found that only 11% of Americans don’t have any regrets. Among the regrets the majority of us have are the following:

Not speaking up (40%)

Not visiting family or friends enough (36%)

Not pursuing our dreams (35%)

The missed chances to take a once-in-a-lifetime trip

On the other hand, the top actions Americans regret doing include:

Spending money or purchasing something they later regret (49%)

Fighting with friends or family (43%)

Making an unnecessary comment (36%)

32% of baby boomers have a regret that spans three decades and still crosses their minds an average of three times per month. While the oldest regret millennials’ is only about 11 years-old, they fret about it on average almost once per week, more than any other generation.

While on my way to dispose of a breakfast of which I only took three bites, I noticed something that has broken my heart: The sixteenth craft I made at preschool this week, stuffed into the garbage beneath a layer of yesterday’s trash as if I wouldn’t find it.

No, not the one with the blue crayon circles. Also, no, not the paint handprints that mysteriously had some other kid’s name spelled backward on it. I’m talking about the one with the eight star stickers, a singular macaroni noodle glued to the top, wrinkled from when I shoved it in my backpack. Yes, there’s a hole in the middle from where I pressed the marker down too hard, but that doesn’t give you an excuse to dispose of it without my permission.

I am aware the refrigerator already displays five similar drawings, and, yeah, you have four noodle necklaces hanging on the lamp by your desk. But when I came home excitedly holding this latest presentation of my blossoming creativity, I thought the look of pride you had on your face was sincere. Now, I’m not sure what to believe.

Do you not appreciate the six minutes of uninterrupted focus required for me to produce such masterpieces? Is there no true love for the wilting dandelions I harvest from our yard three times a week that I demand you find a new vase for every time? Does this prove you’re not planning on treasuring the rocks I collected for you in my pocket that I forgot to take out until it was too late, which were rattling around in the dryer during the third load of laundry you were doing today?

My future therapy bills are already increasing over the denial of genius presented through this unforgivable act of parental neglect.

But trauma creates great art, and with that, I’m prepared to unveil my greatest work yet: a rainbow mural of permanent markers all over the bathroom on every surface I could reach. The sink. The baseboards. The shower curtain. The mirror. The light switch. The door. The fancy tile you had installed during a remodel before I was born.

I’m hopeful the tears I see forming in your eyes represent how moved you are by my magnum opus. It feels great to finally have my work be respected the way it should.

Yale psychologist June Gruber has confirmed the many positive physical, social, and psychological benefits of human happiness. But while working at the University of California-Berkeley she also started to see a dark side to happiness—or at least the pursuit of happiness.

In her clinical language she put it this way: “Happiness serves a specific function, and happiness may not always be adaptive” (that is, happiness might not be the most appropriate or helpful response).

Pursuing happiness is not always a good thing. Paradoxically, studies reviewed by Gruber and colleagues in their recent paper show that people who place the highest value on pursuing happiness tend to be less happy and more prone to depression.

Gruber says,

Setting your sights on happiness as the end goal may inadvertently be setting yourself up for disappointment. If you want to live a rich and happy life, it might be better to stop pursuing happiness so aggressively. Instead, engage in meaningful activities especially those that promote deep connections with others, while trying to [accept] your current emotional state, wherever it is.

Married people average 30 percentage points more happy than unmarried Americans. So, there’s a lot at stake when one swipes left or right. In an article for The Free Press, Rob Henderson lays out a gaggle of unexpected statistics on the self-selective narrowing of the dating pool that cumulatively suggest something bleak. As dating has become hyper-optimized toward one’s desires, it’s had the effect of making relationships harder. His solution? Stop swiping and settle down:

Previous generations didn’t have many options, so they stuck together through hard times and made it work. Now, abundance (or its illusion on dating apps) has led people to feel less satisfied. People are now more anxious about making a choice and less certain that the one they made was correct.

One classic study found that consumers were more likely to buy a jam when they were presented with six flavors compared to 30. And among those who did make a purchase, the people presented with fewer flavors were more satisfied with their choice.

These two factors — demanding more of your partner and understanding that abundance is not always favorable or desirable — should be a lesson that will guide us toward healthier and more fulfilling relationships. Shutting off the dating apps and reducing our choices will actually give us a greater appetite for love.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Of course, this advice makes a whole lot more sense if one understands love to be self-giving for the benefit of another, as opposed to something like self-fulfillment.

Kalina and Shane Pavlovsky planned a beautiful wedding reception at the Barn at Scappoose Creek, Oregon, but were met with disappointment when, out of the 40 guests who RSVP'd, only five showed up.

Kalina told a reporter, “It was a feeling I can’t even describe, having to hold my smile and walk through … the biggest punch that I’ve ever felt.” Of the 40 guests who’d originally responded in the affirmative, Kalina said she’d made direct contact with at least 25 who promised they would come.

The couple’s disappointing reception entrance was caught on video, so she posted it onto TikTok, where it was viewed over 12 million times with more than 20,000 comments. Kalina says she posted it during a lonely moment, but she was also motivated to show off the venue itself, which was tastefully decorated with white lights and draping sheer fabric. She said, “It was just so beautiful, I thought someone has to see it.”

Pavlovsky expressed her feelings about the moment in her TikTok video post. “It just makes me think, like, why? What did we do? Am I that bad of a person? What did my husband ever do to deserve any of this? Why couldn’t we matter enough for people to show up?”

Despite the disappointment, the couple made the best of the situation, but had to cancel planned events like dances and cutting the cake. Despite the hurt caused by the no-shows, Pavlovsky said she's also been touched by the outpouring of support from strangers who saw her story and felt empathy.

“My hope is that people understand how important it is to show up,” she concluded.

Possible Preaching Angle:

1) Faithfulness of God - Unlike some of our flakier friends, God does not ghost us when we need him most. On the contrary, God shows up when we need him most. 2) Promises – When we make a commitment we should keep it. If we have no intention of keeping the commitment, we should be honest to say so.

Online dating is so last year.

According to a report, popular dating apps have seen a major dip in usage in 2024, with Tinder losing 600,000 Gen Z users, Hinge shedding 131,000 and Bumble declining by 368,000.

Millennials and older generations seem to be holding steady with these apps, with nearly 1 in 10 adults on at least one dating app. But for Gen Z, they’re increasingly over the limited online options.

“Some analysts speculate that for younger people, particularly gen Z, the novelty of dating apps is wearing off,” Ofcom said in its annual Online Nation report.

According to experts, Gen Z seems to be more interested in meeting people IRL instead of finding them through an app. The idea of a “meet cute,” first popularized in every rom-com ever, has become a growing trend online. Accounts like @MeetCutesNYC, which boasts over a million followers, post videos of the various ways that couples have found each other.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Although in Bible times marriages were most often arranged by the parents, there are examples of “chance meetings” when couples met and fell in love that can be used for today’s singles. Some examples are Moses and Zipporah (Exodus 2:16-22), Jacob and Rachel (Genesis 29:1-14), and Ruth and Boaz (Ruth 1-3).

The word "manifest" has been named Cambridge Dictionary's word of the year for 2024, after celebrities such as pop star Dua Lipa and gymnast Simone Biles spoke of “manifesting” their success.

The term, which has gained traction on TikTok, was looked up almost 130,000 times on the Cambridge Dictionary website this year. Its use widened greatly across all types of media due to events in 2024, and it shows how the meanings of a word can change over time.

Formerly, “manifest” was used very differently. For example, Chaucer used the oldest sense of the verb manifest: "to show something clearly, through signs or actions." The verb is still used frequently in this way. For example, people can manifest their dissatisfaction, or symptoms of an illness can manifest themselves.

However, in 2024 the term "to manifest" has evolved to be used in the sense of "to imagine achieving something you want, in the belief that doing so will make it more likely to happen."

Dr. Sander van der Linden at Cambridge University, cautioned that the idea of manifesting success has no scientific validity.

Manifesting is what psychologists call “magical thinking” or the general illusion that specific mental rituals can change the world around us.

Manifesting gained tremendous popularity during the pandemic on TikTok with billions of views, including the popular 3-6-9 method which calls for writing down your wishes three times in the morning, six times in the afternoon and nine times before bed. This procedure promotes obsessive and compulsive behavior with no discernible benefits.

But can we really blame people for trying it, when prominent celebrities have been openly “manifesting” their success?

Manifesting wealth, love, and power can lead to unrealistic expectations and disappointment. Think of the dangerous idea that you can cure serious diseases simply by wishing them away.

However, it is crucial to understand the difference between the power of positive thinking involving effort and goal setting contrasted with moving reality with your mind. The former is healthy, whereas the latter is pseudoscience.

Possible Preaching Angle:

While wishing for something may be a natural human response, the Bible encourages a more proactive approach that combines faith, hope, and action. It emphasizes the importance of aligning our desires with God's will and taking steps to bring about positive change.

The Hallmark and Lifetime networks are known for their holiday movies each year. They bring in impressive television ratings, perhaps aided by how easy they are to leave on while, say, baking cookies.

They also have something of a reputation for following a very specific story line. For example, a recently dumped, high-powered female executive from the city finds new love, purpose, and appreciation for Christmas in a small town with the help of a handsome local fellow.

So just how formulaic are these movies? The New York Times analyzed all of them available up to January 2024. The analysis asked: Do they all have a happy ending? The article concluded:

Do you even have to ask? In many endings, the woman does leave her job and the city in favor of the town (and her new man). But there were a couple of twists within the standard happy ending. For instance (spoilers ahead), in ‘Jingle Bell Bride’ (2020), a New York City wedding planner in search of a rare flower meets a handsome botanist in rural Alaska. But he’s the one who ends up following her back to the big city.

And in “A Glenbrooke Christmas” (2020), a woman taking over her family’s Los Angeles-based real estate company does decide to move to a small town to be with a fire chief. But she will still operate as C.E.O. remotely!

One Hallmark executive said, “We always say that whatever our woman’s path is, that her relationship is icing on the cake. If she’s career driven, or there’s some goal that she has, that’s what she’s going for.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

Marriage; Relationship – In life in general and marriage in particular—happy endings are almost never this easy or simple. There is usually suffering and disappointment, but the Lord can cause us to grow through these trials.

It had cluttered up Jack Harris's dining table for almost eight years. Nevertheless, the 86-year-old was determined to finish his five-foot long, 5,000-piece jigsaw. And when he thought the painstaking process was complete, he stood back to admire his work, only to find one piece was missing. Mr. Harris has searched his home for the missing piece but his family fears one of their two dogs has swallowed it.

They have even asked the puzzle's manufacturer if they could provide a spare, but Mr. Harris has taken so long to complete the jigsaw that Falcon Games has stopped making it.

His daughter-in-law, Eve Harris, who gave him the jigsaw as a Christmas present, said she thought it would be a challenge for the retired businessman. Mr. Harris is given a new jigsaw every year, and usually finishes them by spring. But this puzzle was to prove different.

He said he started the jigsaw, which shows the 19th century oil painting The Return of The Prodigal Son by James Tissot, as usual. But eight years later he was still struggling to finish it.

Eve said,

We got him this one as a bit of a joke really, because he always boasted he could get them done so quickly, he's a bit of a whiz with them. It was marvelous to see it finally completed. But when we saw there was a piece missing from the middle, we just couldn't believe it. He was just so disappointed when he found one bit was missing. It's sad really because now it will never be completed.

Possible Preaching Angles:

There are at least three possible ways to use this illustration: 1) Maybe as a wince-inducing look at disappointment in life. 2) Maybe the whole "building a life yet there's a God-shaped hole" sort of thing. 3) Maybe even as a metaphor for Body life (every part is important).

An insightful Aperture video reveals the sad reality that our happiness, or lack of, is always at a regular baseline. It only fluctuates slightly despite all our attempts at bliss and euphoria.

You wake up in the morning and go to work. You spend eight hours working away at your desk on a job you once loved but now kind of just tolerate. It's 5:00 p.m., you go home, eat dinner, and watch TV, only to do it all over again the next day. You play sports or catch up with friends on the weekend and life's good, but you still feel like something is missing.

Now imagine you get that well deserved promotion and a healthy raise and suddenly you're going on those vacations you once dreamt of. Driving a nicer car, receiving more status and respect in the workplace. Your quality of life has been significantly upgraded and finally you feel like you're fulfilling your potential. Fancy restaurants, rubbing elbows with influential people, your life feels new and almost foreign compared to where you came from.

Yet in a year or so your once brand-new Porsche just becomes your daily driver. All the imported sushi starts to taste the same and while you still frequent white sandy beaches and pristine ski slopes, these places have lost their allure.

You've completely changed your life but you're still in the same position you were in before you got the promotion. Those things that used to excite you have become stale, mundane, and boring. The reason why you'll never be happy is called “hedonic adaptation.” Hedonic adaptation is the tendency to return to a base level of happiness even when undergoing profound periods of positive or negative change.

According to a survey, 37% of Americans think billionaires are terrible role models, and 49% said they have overall negative feelings towards them. And the heat is felt most prominently by the big-name tech billionaires like Mark Zuckerberg, Elon Musk, and Jeff Bezos.

But despite the negative feelings, people still admire and look up to some of these individual figures. And it’s not because of just their financial success; a 2021 study found that people who stand against a class of extremely wealthy people still tend to admire individual billionaires like Elon Musk and Bill Gates.

Margaret O’Mara, a professor of history at the University of Washington, says “The secret of Silicon Valley has been the storytelling.” She describes intense admiration of tech billionaires as kind of “a religion of entrepreneurship.” With the lack of presence of other role models and declining faith in other institutions like the government or churches or even science, people want to find a myth to believe in that will give them comfort.

When you have these really exciting stories of the startup company in your dorm room or garage that then becomes this trillion-dollar company, this exciting rags to riches story really fits into an American narrative that predates Silicon Valley. Those stories are exceptional, to be clear, but I think the fault is presuming that anyone can do this.

Another story within the tech billionaire narrative that appeals to masses is that of disruption. O’Mara said, “This is a nation founded on revolution, so being a rebel, not bowing to authority and being your own boss is kind of cool.”

Richard R. John, professor of business history and journalism at Columbia University calls the hype surrounding tech billionaires a cult of personality. He says:

A cult of personality is the deliberate glorification of a specific public figure. Throughout history, cult of personality hype of billionaire figures has usually been propagated through journalists and news media. But with the founding of social media, it grew massively through its unprecedented reach. It’s no longer regional, it’s now national and even international.

A chorus of discontent is emerging from the users of several popular dating apps like Hinge, Match, and Bumble. The consensus is that the experience has been gradually declining. Dating apps are not as fun, as easy, or as enjoyable as they used to be.

Which is not to say that they’re not still popular. According to a recent Pew Research Center survey, 10% of people in committed romantic partnerships say they met their partner on a dating app or website.

“Our goal is to make meaningful connections for every single person on our platforms," according to a spokesperson for Match.com. "Our business model is driven by providing users with great experiences, so they champion our brands and their power to form life-changing relationships.”

That statement notwithstanding, it’s hard for an app to develop a dedicated customer base when the most satisfied customers, finding a loving relationship, leave the app behind. Each successful outcome results in the loss of two paying customers.

On the contrary, most apps gain financial success by generating repeat users and maximize their time spent on the platform. This dynamic creates a situation described as “adverse selection,” where the people who spend the most time on dating apps are beset with suspicion from prior bad experiences on the app, making it harder to find meaningful connections. Anyone who remains must either lower their standards or risk engaging with people who are less-than-truthful in their behavior. What results is a less enjoyable experience all around.

Economist George Akerlof says there are solutions to the problem, which often revolve around providing more truthful information to counter dishonest actors. But that would require users on dating apps to share potentially embarrassing details of how or why their previous attempts at relational connection failed.

Alas, when it comes to honest self-reflection and authentic disclosure, there appears to be no app for that.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Long lasting relationships are built on the time-tested biblical principles of honesty, trust, and openness. Any other basis for a relationship will lead to suspicion and heartache.

Mike Tyson is one of the greatest boxers of all time. Over his career, “Iron Mike” had 50 wins, including 44 knockouts, and only six losses. Coming from a difficult childhood, during which he was surrounded by crime and poverty, he escaped his circumstances through a laser-like focus on his dream of athletic greatness. And he realized that dream in 1986 by becoming the world heavyweight champion at the age of 20.

Despite his success and fame, Tyson was dogged by crises, failed relationships, and legal troubles, including allegations of domestic violence and nearly three years in prison in the 1990s after he was convicted on a charge of rape. He achieved all his ambitions of riches and renown, but a happy life seemed to elude him.

This might seem ironic or contradictory to some. To Tyson, however, it was neither. “You almost have to give your happiness up to accomplish your goals,” he reflected in a 2020 interview.

That is what we might call the Tyson Paradox. Building a good life requires us to have goals that keep us focused, enthusiastic, and out of trouble. But actually, attaining those goals might not give us the payoff we imagined, and could in fact bring us misery. Although most of us will never see the highs and lows that Mike Tyson experienced, we can all easily fall into our own version of the same trap.

A recent Aperture video on YouTube effectively portrays the harms and dangers of today's dating apps, especially Tinder:

Maybe the most disastrous thing about dating apps is that we're ultimately commodifying love and that can change the way we view and experience it. When we're attracted to someone, our brain releases the chemical dopamine as a reward response. Online dating apps train us to constantly seek this dopamine hit from attraction or lust. Then when we're with someone we're no longer getting that attraction. We know it can easily be found on an app in our pocket. All we have to do is ghost, deceive or abruptly break up with someone in order to get it again.

Even just looking at an attractive person on your app will give you a hit of dopamine, making loyalty to a lover much less appealing. You get hooked into a reward cycle. It becomes addictive. Just as you get a blip of joy from a like on social media, you get a hit of dopamine from a match on Tinder. It keeps you coming back even if you have found someone worth keeping.

Most of us have been with someone we loved and still questioned whether there was someone better out there. Apps like Tinder exploit this feeling. They overwhelm you with choices, making you feel like you're never making the right one. And so you move on. Back to the phone. Back to the dopamine hits so readily available. As you go on dates and start relationships the app is always dangling that shinier object or human being right in front of you.

Because it's so fast and easy to get a new shot of dopamine by simply opening the app on our phones, we don't give ourselves enough time to get to know a person. The problem with this is that we aren't spending enough time in relationships for our brains to produce oxytocin over those warm cuddly feelings which are more common in long-term relationships. If you've ever been in a long-term loving relationship, you notice how at peace you feel. How when you're with this person everything feels all right with the world. Dating apps are weaning us off this feeling. Dating apps are more dangerous than you think.

You can watch the video here (timestamp: 6 min. 04 sec. to 8 min. 04 sec.).

Mara Reinstein writes in Parade Magazine:

We met Steve Martin years ago as a banjo-playing comic with an arrow through his head singing "King Tut." He's now a movie star and serious musician as well. In an interview, he recalled the movie "Father of the Bride" beating every other movie at the box office and thinking, "Oh, this month it's my turn."

The interviewer followed-up, "Does it hurt when it's not your turn?" Steve answered, "Not anymore … you have to remember that there's always going to be somebody better than you and there's room for everybody. I'm also a musician … I work with a lot of bands. I always say, 'Don't be jealous of other bands. You're just going to eat yourself up and waste time and it will get you nowhere. So be inclusive and say, ‘Great job.’ It takes a while to learn to not take it all so seriously."

Possible Preaching Angle:

The world may not call jealousy and envy "sins" but it recognizes they create issues. He's right, isn't he? It does take a while to learn to let others be praised.

The actor Paul Newman was nominated for 10 Academy Awards and won for The Color of Money in 1987. He also received an honorary Oscar in 1986 and the Academy’s Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award in 1994.

But his life was hardly free of disappointment and tragedy. He wrestled with his drinking, a habit he knew was self-destructive but says “unlocked a lot of things I couldn’t have done without it.” And he was shattered when his son, Scott, who had led a drifting life in his father’s shadow and was receiving psychiatric treatment, died in 1978 at the age of 28.

Decades into his singularly successful career as an actor, Paul Newman offered a frank admission. “I am faced with the appalling fact that I don’t know anything,” he said.

Newman was also dogged by self-doubt, perpetually questioning his choices and plagued by past mistakes. “I’m always anxious about admitting to failure,” he said. “To not being good enough, to not being right.” Newman’s lifelong insecurity is one of the more striking themes to emerge from a posthumous memoir by the actor, titled The Extraordinary Life of an Ordinary Man.

Puerto Rican rapper Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio, also known as Bad Bunny, recently opened the telecast of 2023 Grammy Awards. It was the first time a musical act that does not primarily speak or sing in English was featured in such a prestigious timeslot. As a result, many Latin American people beamed in pride at seeing someone from their culture (or one adjacent to theirs) be represented on such a big stage.

But one particular detail caused a stir in the immediate wake of the telecast. Viewers responded in real time on social media platforms to the way that Bad Bunny’s performance was captured by the live closed-captioning text at the bottom of the screen. His words and music were not transcribed, but rather described simply as “non-English.”

This was a disappointment for viewers hoping to see a live transcription of Bad Bunny’s Spanish lyrics, considering that he’d been nominated for Album of the Year. That oversight was particularly galling, according Melissa Harris-Perry of WNYC, because it was so avoidable.

Harris-Perry said, “Bad Bunny does not generally or ever perform in English, right? I mean, this should not have been a surprise.”

Dr. Bonilla is director of the Center for Puerto Rican Studies (at CUNY), and a guest of Harris-Perry’s podcast . Bonilla says that Bad Bunny is so important to Puerto Rican audiences in part because of his refusal to cater to English-speaking audiences, which is causing the industry to change.

Bonilla said, “Okay, you're making history here. For the first time, you have a Spanish language act nominated for Album of the Year. This is the largest streaming artist in the world. You know that he sings and speaks only in Spanish. Do better, Grammys.”

The good news is that this is less a function of malice than of lack of planning or intentionality. Hopefully, the Grammys will be ready the next time they feature a Spanish-speaking act so prominently in their telecast.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Language is one of the ways that we define and reinforce culture. The church can also be sensitive to this and welcome other language speakers into God's family. We can assist in that mission by accommodating the languages of vulnerable people with less power or influence.

Twent-eight-year-old Abby has been on dating apps for eight years, bouncing between OkCupid, Bumble, Tinder, eHarmony, Match, WooPlus, Coffee Meets Bagel, and Hinge. A committed user, she can easily spend two or more hours a day piling up matches, messaging back and forth, and planning dates with men who seem promising.

But really, she is just over it all: The swiping, the monotonous getting-to-know-you conversations, and the self-doubt that creeps in when one of her matches fizzles. Not a single long-term relationship has blossomed from her efforts.

Other aspects of the experience weigh on her as well. Abby said she has regularly felt pressured to have sex with others. She is not alone: A 2020 Pew Research Center survey found that 37 percent of online daters said someone continued to contact them after they said they weren’t interested, and 35 percent had received unwanted sexually explicit texts or images.

Yet despite all of it — the time, the tedium, and the safety concerns — Abby feels compelled to keep scrolling, driven by a mix of optimism and the fear that if she logs off, she’ll miss her shot at meeting someone amazing.

“I just feel burned out,” said Abby. “It really is almost like this part-time job.”

Author and blogger Chris Winfield shares his thoughts on gratitude:

“Why did this have to happen to me?” It didn’t matter if it was something big (my dog gets cancer, good friend dies) or something little (flight is delayed, spilled something on my shirt). I was in a constant state of “poor me.” This all started to change once I began writing a gratitude list every single day for the past 34+ months and it has changed my life profoundly. Here are the 4 most important things I’ve learned on my gratitude journey:

1. It’s Hard at First: My mentor told me to text him three things that I am grateful for every day. Sounds pretty easy right? Well, it wasn’t. When you’ve lived most of your life not focusing on gratitude, it’s not so simple to change that.

2. There Is Always Something to Be Grateful For: No matter what was going on in my life (business problems, I was sick, someone cut me off in traffic) there was always something that I could find to be grateful for (my health, my daughter’s smile, etc.).

3. Gratitude Grows the More You Use It: My gratitude lists started off very basic and I struggled to find things to be grateful for (especially on the really tough days). But once I consistently took action, it became easier and easier.

4. It Can Help Stop Negative Thought Patterns: According to the Laboratory of Neuro Imaging, the average person has about 70,000 thoughts each day! There’s one big problem with this — the vast majority of these thoughts are negative. Gratitude can work to stop these negative thought patterns by replacing it with something positive.