Emotions

Bad days. We’ve all had them, and for many of us, it doesn’t take much to send a day spiraling into chaos before breakfast is even over.

According to a new survey, the average American knows their day is going to be bad by 8:36 a.m. Additionally, it’s not just a rare occurrence—four times a month, people expect the worst, adding up to an average of 48 bad days every year.

Mornings, it seems, are critical in setting the tone for the day. The survey highlights that common morning mishaps—such as waking up feeling sick (35%), suffering from poor sleep (31%), or starting the day with a headache (29%)—are among the top indicators of a bad day. Even seemingly minor inconveniences, like misplacing keys (26%) or leaving a phone at home (25%), can derail the entire day.

The impact of these morning disruptions is significant. Nearly half of those surveyed (48%) reported canceling plans or calling in sick after a challenging start to the day, opting to return to bed in hopes of salvaging what remains.

Possible Preaching Angle:
We have all been there, but a Christian doesn’t have to let pessimism or emotions rule their day. Beginning this new year, resolve instead, by faith, to put your day into God’s hands – “This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it” (Psa. 118:24)

The longer the internet lives, the more inescapable a certain trend becomes: the performance of grief. That is, when someone on TikTok, Instagram, or YouTube, exhibits a hardship for audience consumption. At The Atlantic, Maytal Eyal has an interesting appraisal:

People post videos of themselves crying (or trying not to). Some of these videos moody music; many rack up hundreds of thousands of views. … Influencers and celebrities strip down to what can seem like the rawest version of themselves, selling the promise of “real” emotional connection—and, not infrequently, products or their personal brand.

The weepy confessions are, ostensibly, gestures toward intimacy. They’re meant to inspire empathy, to reassure viewers that influencers are just like them. But in fact, they’re exercises in what I’ve come to call “McVulnerability,” a synthetic version of vulnerability akin to fast food: mass-produced, sometimes tasty, but lacking in sustenance. True vulnerability can foster emotional closeness. McVulnerability offers only an illusion of it.

In my years as a therapist, I’ve seen a trend among some of my younger clients: They prefer the controlled environment of the internet — the polish of YouTube, the ephemeral nature of TikTok — to the tender awkwardness of making new friends. Instead of reaching out to a peer, they’ll turn to the comfort of their phone and spend time with their preferred influencers.

Psychotherapist Esther Perel touched on this impulse while discussing what she calls “artificial intimacy.” She says that these digital connections risk “lowering our expectations of intimacy between humans” and leave us “unprepared and unable to tolerate the inevitable unpredictabilities of human nature, love, and life.”

Putting yourself out there is uncomfortable. But I also worry that by relying mostly on social media to encounter other humans, they’re forfeiting opportunities to develop the skills that could help them thrive in the flesh-and-blood world.

If you have money problems, maybe you need to hire a “financial therapist.” A recent Wall Street Journal article states:

Do you worry a lot about higher food and gas bills? Fight with your spouse over spending splurges? Fear you’ll outlive your savings? Some people seek to ease such money anxieties by hiring a financial therapist.

Many Americans are worried about their personal finances. In a survey of about 3,000 U.S. adults conducted in October 2024 by Fidelity Investments, more than one-third of respondents said they were in “worse financial shape” than in the previous year. Some 55% of those respondents blamed inflation and cost-of-living increases.

Similarly, 52% of 2,365 Americans polled for Bankrate.com said money negatively affected their mental health in 2023. That is 10 percentage points higher than in 2022. Financially anxious and stressed individuals are less likely to plan for retirement, prior research has concluded.

The goal of financial therapists ultimately is to help people make good financial decisions. This is typically done by raising their clients’ awareness of how their emotions and unconscious beliefs have affected their sometimes messy experiences with money.

Needs for such help often arise following a job loss, bankruptcy, or marital partner’s financial infidelity—when one spouse hides or misrepresents financial information from the other. Even something seemingly positive, such as getting a big inheritance or winning a lottery, can cause financial anxiety.

“Folks are craving help with financial well-being,’’ says the president of the Financial Therapy Association.

Elevated stress is draining young Americans’ wallets as “doom spending” becomes their go-to coping mechanism.

According to a recent study from Intuit Credit Karma, 60% of Americans are feeling anxious about the state of the world, particularly over the cost of living and inflation. With these concerns taking a toll on mental health, 27% of Americans admit they’re “doom spending” — spending more money despite financial worries. This trend is especially popular among Gen Z (37%) and millennials (39%), with one in four sharing that spending helps them cope with anxiety, stress, and uncertainty.

What’s behind the current spike in this trend? Constant online negativity. More than half of Gen Z (53%) and millennials (49%) say the steady stream of bad news on social media drives them to spend more to relieve stress.

Nearly half (44%) of Americans reported feeling pessimistic about their financial future, and a substantial portion of young people are forgoing savings entirely. This has left many young adults seeing core financial goals, like paying off debt or saving to upgrade their living situation, as far out of reach.

For Christians, financial expert Art Rainer suggests that reprioritizing money is a key place to start:

So, where do we get it wrong? We’re putting our hope for security, our hope for a better future, a hope for a sense of satisfaction and contentment on money. And it gets us into a lot of financial trouble. We get into cycles of discontentment and dissatisfaction. And then of course, we continue to try to get more. And it just never works out. Money in and of itself is not a bad thing. We can use those things for God’s purpose and for His glory.

Some people call it the most joyful work ever written: Ludwig van Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, composed in 1824, which ends with the famous anthem “Ode to Joy.” In English it says: “Joy, thou shining spark of God / Daughter of Elysium / With fiery rapture, goddess / We approach thy shrine!”

You might assume that Beethoven, was a joyful man. You would be incorrect in that assumption. He was well known among his contemporaries as an irascible, melancholic, hypercritical grouch. He never sustained a romantic relationship that led to marriage, was mercurial in his friendships, and was sly about his professional obligations.

Of course, Beethoven progressively lost his hearing and was therefore deaf when he wrote his later works (including the Ninth Symphony). But we have ample evidence that his unhappy personality predated his deafness. Even before his hearing loss set in, for example, he complained bitterly about his music’s shortcomings, as he saw them. He is said to have reviled what was probably his most popular early composition, the Septet in E-flat Major, saying “I wish [the score] were burned!”

At the same time, he clearly saw—and regretted—the effects of his unhappy personality. “I can easily imagine what you must think of me,” he wrote to an “esteemed friend” in 1787, “and I cannot deny that you have too good grounds for an unfavorable opinion.”

Perhaps you can relate to Beethoven: You recognize that you have some unhappy personality traits—and, like him, you regret that. But remember, even with his flaws, Beethoven transformed his struggles into timeless masterpieces. Your challenges, too, can become the source of your greatest strengths and achievements.

The number of Americans living to at least 100 is expected to quadruple over the next 30 years, to about 422,000 by the mid-2050’s, according to the Pew Research Center. Laura Carstensen, founding director of Stanford University’s Center on Longevity, says research has made surprising discoveries about the way older people view their lives. With fewer “what-ifs,” they appear to gain more clarity on their place in the world. She added “…changes will be needed to make the most of those added years.”

Most people believe that growing older is associated with loneliness, depression, anxiety, and that mental health suffers. The very good news is, it looks like people do better emotionally as they get older. This has been so surprising to researchers and to the general public that it’s probably been the most scrutinized finding about aging.

A lot goes wrong as we get older. There are physical problems, loss of loved ones, and age discrimination. There’s a lot that isn’t good about growing older, but people seem to do better emotionally. Older people have shorter time horizons. For many years, people thought that must make people miserable and scared. The interesting thing is there’s a paradox. It actually makes people feel calmer not to have to prepare for this long and nebulous future, and to be able to live more in the present.

Younger people are almost always thinking about the future. They almost always have one foot out the door, whatever they’re doing. And older people seem to do better just being able to be in the present and enjoy the moment. I think that is because they don’t have to keep planning. As people get older it’s clearer where they stand in the world and what they’re good at. And older people tend to look at the positive in life.

It doesn’t appear to be good for individuals or societies to have a large group of people kind of sit it out for 30 years. What we need to do is rethink how we live our lives from the beginning all the way through, in order to optimize these longer lives.

Possible Preaching Angle:

If you retire at age 65 or even 70 but live to be 100, what are you going to do for the Lord in those last 30 plus years? Are you really going to just sit in church for all those years? What does the Lord want you to do?

In an article in The Atlantic, Russel Shaw writes:

When my son was a toddler, I realized how much my emotional reactions influenced his. If I showed worry when he fell, he'd wail; if I remained calm, he'd recover. Learning that I could so powerfully influence his mental state was a revelation. This taught me that parenting is about more than just teaching skills; it's about shaping emotions.

Our instinct is to protect our children, but overprotecting can hinder their development. This urge has led to pop-culture mythology around pushy parenting styles, including the “Helicopter Parent,” who flies in to rescue a child in crisis, and the “Snowplow Parent,” who flattens any obstacle in their child’s way.

Lighthouse parents, on the other hand, provide support while allowing their children to learn from their experiences. Like a lighthouse that helps sailors avoid crashing into rocks, Lighthouse Parents provide firm boundaries and emotional support while allowing their children the freedom to navigate their own challenges. The key is learning when to step back and let them find their own way.

The crucial shift is from fixing problems to listening. Listening teaches resilience and communicates trust in our children's abilities. Parenting can be stressful, but by letting them face challenges, we help them build the skills they need to thrive.

The Super Bowl means fun, friends, beer, and nachos, but heart attacks and other life-threatening cardiac events rise during and after the big game and other major sporting events.

Cardiologists say that stress kicked off by the intensity of nail-biting plays, going deep on wings and chips, or downing epic amounts of alcohol can tax the heart and blood vessels. Dr. James O’Keefe said, “Nobody will be surprised to see people within 24 hours of the game” with cardiovascular emergencies. When you are emotionally invested in a game, your body prepares as if for battle.” Stress hormones flow in a fight-or-flight response, raising blood pressure, making the heart beat faster and making blood more likely to clot.

In a study of the 2006 FIFA World Cup, the incidence of cardiac emergencies in Bavaria was 2.66 times higher on days when the German team played, according to a study in the New England Journal of Medicine. These events were highest in the quarterfinal, when Germany beat Argentina in a penalty shootout. Most of the cardiac events occurred in the first two hours after the start of matches, though the numbers were higher for several hours before and after the contests.

Possible Preaching Angles:

1) Anxiety; Stress - The Bible warns of the dangers of stress and anxiety, urging believers to trust in God rather than being overwhelmed by worldly concerns (Phil. 4:6-7); 2) Self-control; Stewardship – The Bible teaches us that the Bible is the temple of the Holy Spirit. Overindulgence in unhealthy food, alcohol, and emotional stress during sporting events contradicts this principle (1 Cor. 6:19-20).

On the slope of a hill in Camp John Hay, you will find a rather unconventional attraction. Rather than tombs enclosing remains of dead humans, this cemetery is filled with cute tablets with inspiring inscriptions.

The Cemetery of Negativism was established by John Hightower in 1981. At that time he was the commanding general of Camp John Hay, about a 30-minute drive from Baguio City in the Philippines. The cemetery is a symbolic site for burying negativism—emotions, frustrations, attitudes, and thoughts that today we would call “bad vibes.”

At the entrance of the cemetery, a reminder reads, “Negativism is man’s greatest self-imposed infliction, his most limiting factor, his heaviest burden. No more, for here is buried the world’s negativism for all time. Those who rest here have died not in vain—but for you a stern reminder. As you leave this hill remember that the rest of your life. Be More Positive.”

Inscribed on one of the tombs is “Itz not possible. Conceived 11 Nov 1905. Still not Born.” Another tomb says “Why Dident I? Born???? Lived wondering why. Died for no reason.” There are dozens of different shapes and styles adorned with tiny sculptures of animals, flowers, and humans among others. The inscriptions are open to interpretations but the overall theme encourages visitors to open their minds, reflect, and leave the place in a better state than when they came in.

Camp John Hay is a popular tourist destination in Baguio City known for its tranquility, beautiful well-maintained park and gardens, luxurious mountain retreat, and shopping. The camp served as the summer refuge of the Americans from 1900 until 1991 when American bases were turned over to the Philippine government.

Possible Preaching Angle:

The weight of past mistakes can be a heavy burden to bear. Regret and negativity can consume us, leaving us feeling trapped in a cycle of self-blame and shame. However, the Bible offers a message of hope and redemption. Through faith in Jesus, we can experience a transformation of heart and mind. We are given the power to let go of the past and embrace a new life filled with hope and purpose. (Rom. 8:1; Psalm 103:12).

While on my way to dispose of a breakfast of which I only took three bites, I noticed something that has broken my heart: The sixteenth craft I made at preschool this week, stuffed into the garbage beneath a layer of yesterday’s trash as if I wouldn’t find it.

No, not the one with the blue crayon circles. Also, no, not the paint handprints that mysteriously had some other kid’s name spelled backward on it. I’m talking about the one with the eight star stickers, a singular macaroni noodle glued to the top, wrinkled from when I shoved it in my backpack. Yes, there’s a hole in the middle from where I pressed the marker down too hard, but that doesn’t give you an excuse to dispose of it without my permission.

I am aware the refrigerator already displays five similar drawings, and, yeah, you have four noodle necklaces hanging on the lamp by your desk. But when I came home excitedly holding this latest presentation of my blossoming creativity, I thought the look of pride you had on your face was sincere. Now, I’m not sure what to believe.

Do you not appreciate the six minutes of uninterrupted focus required for me to produce such masterpieces? Is there no true love for the wilting dandelions I harvest from our yard three times a week that I demand you find a new vase for every time? Does this prove you’re not planning on treasuring the rocks I collected for you in my pocket that I forgot to take out until it was too late, which were rattling around in the dryer during the third load of laundry you were doing today?

My future therapy bills are already increasing over the denial of genius presented through this unforgivable act of parental neglect.

But trauma creates great art, and with that, I’m prepared to unveil my greatest work yet: a rainbow mural of permanent markers all over the bathroom on every surface I could reach. The sink. The baseboards. The shower curtain. The mirror. The light switch. The door. The fancy tile you had installed during a remodel before I was born.

I’m hopeful the tears I see forming in your eyes represent how moved you are by my magnum opus. It feels great to finally have my work be respected the way it should.

Clinical psychologist Jenny Taitz writes, “I see so many clients who don’t have the ability to wait, and it is no wonder. In a world where it is possible to get the answer to any question instantly with Google and to order coffee for immediate pickup on an app, why should any of us have to deal with delays and unknowns?”

Unfortunately, for many of us, the challenge is that being patient now feels harder than ever before. A 2023 study involving more than 28,000 adults and adolescents found that the average person’s mood got steadily worse every minute they sat doing nothing. Waiting patiently is so difficult that we often react by doing things that actually make us more impatient, like constantly checking our phones for updates or seeking reassurance from everyone we know.

Michael Dugas, another psychologist in the same article notes, “Technology creates the illusion that certainty is possible, which leads to trying to attain certainty in all situations, contributing to worry and anxiety.” When a loved one doesn’t pick up the phone, we track their location instead of waiting for them to call back. When an email doesn’t get a prompt response, we can find out precisely when it was opened. Such behavior only adds to our worry and anxiety.

If you find yourself being more impatient than ever before when interacting with people in customer service roles—or if you’ve noticed other people having a shorter fuse and snapping more quickly—you’re not alone. Lines can be a source of anger, frustration, and arguments. Twenty-seven percent of consumers get annoyed by fellow shoppers when in line and 19% of shoppers have even had an argument with a partner or friend in a line.

The vast majority of consumers associate waiting in line with negative emotions. Nearly 67% of the consumers surveyed report feeling impatient, bored, annoyed, frustrated, or disrespected when they have to wait.

Notably, impatience skyrocketed this year (2024)—increasing by 176%. This suggests that consumers are shifting from boredom and annoyance towards impatience. This finding is unsurprising given our current social climate. Technology is increasing expectations for instant gratification while high levels of anxiety are shortening fuses. Surveys have shown that 25% would only wait a maximum of two minutes. Fifty-nine percent would wait no longer than four minutes. Seventy-three percent would abandon their purchase if they had to queue for more than five minutes.

Furthermore, the widespread transition to remote work during the pandemic resulted in reduced face-to-face interaction. And with a decrease in this time spent with our fellow humans, it has likely been more difficult to develop empathy and patience. Too much screen time may have caused “keyboard courage” to bleed into our day-to-day conversations, leaving us more abrupt and even rude in our communications.

Another cause of heightened emotions is the overall challenges people in the world are facing, including polarization, war, the underlying stress of inflation, supply chain issues, or looming economic uncertainty.

All of these factors are pushing people to their limits and resulting in an increase in burnout, frustration, and impatience in their interactions with others.

In today’s digital age, it’s become increasingly common for parents to hand their upset child a smartphone or tablet to calm them down. But could this seemingly harmless practice be hindering children’s emotional development? A new study from researchers suggests that using digital devices as emotional pacifiers may have unintended long-term consequences.

The researchers aimed to understand the relationship between parents using digital devices to regulate their children’s emotions and the development of children’s self-regulatory skills.

Self-regulation is a crucial skill that develops in early childhood. It involves the ability to manage one’s emotions, control impulses, and direct attention. These skills are essential for success in school and later in life. They help children navigate social situations, focus on tasks, and cope with frustration.

Imagine a scenario where a child is having a tantrum in a grocery store. A parent, desperate for a quick fix, hands over their smartphone to distract and calm the child. While this might work in the moment, the study suggests that repeatedly using this strategy could prevent the child from learning how to manage their emotions on their own. Children whose parents often relied on “digital pacifiers” showed more severe emotion-regulation problems, specifically, anger management problems, later in life.

Instead of relying on screens to soothe upset children, parents might consider alternative strategies that help kids learn to manage their emotions. For example, parents could try talking through emotions with their child, using deep breathing exercises, or engaging in a calming activity together like reading a book or coloring. These approaches may take more time and effort in the moment, but they could pay off in the long run by helping children develop crucial self-regulation skills.

Emotional farewells are a common sight at airports, but travelers leaving the New Zealand city of Dunedin will have to be quick. A new three-minute time limit on goodbye hugs in the airport’s drop-off area is intended to prevent lingering cuddles from causing traffic jams.

“Max hug time three minutes,” warn signs outside the terminal, adding that those seeking “fonder farewells” should head to the airport’s parking lot instead.

The cuddle limit was imposed in September to “keep things moving smoothly” in the redesigned passenger drop-off area outside the airport, CEO Dan De Bono told The Associated Press. It was the airport’s way of reminding people that the zone was for “quick farewells” only. “[It’s] plenty of time to pull up, say farewell to your loved ones and move on,” says De Bono. “The time limit is really a nicer way of saying, ‘You know, get on with it.’”

A 20-second hug is long enough to release the wellbeing-boosting hormones oxytocin and serotonin, De Bono said. Anything longer was “really awkward.”

But passengers need not worry unduly about enforcement. “We do not have hug police.” Visitors might, however, be asked to move their lingering embraces to the parking lot, where they can cuddle free of charge for up to 15 minutes.

Possible Preaching Angle:

For Christians, goodbyes are never final. Farewells in the Bible often serve as a moment of transition, marking the end of one chapter and the beginning of another. They are moments of reflection, blessing, and often, divine revelation. They remind us of the importance of relationships and the enduring presence of God in our lives.

Editor’s note: For more on this topic you can click here.

For Mike Witmer, it began as a neighborly holiday game. Now it has become an enduring tribute. The Witmer’s Christmas lights were already up when Mike heard that his daughter’s friend from the swim team, Kevin, age 11, was coming home from the hospital, having been hospitalized with cancer. So, Mike decided to write “Get Well Kevin” in lights, and Mike’s wife told Kevin’s folks to swing through their court on their way home from the hospital.

Kevin loved the display, and he asked his mom, “Do you think Mr. Witmer will put my name in lights every year?” When Mike heard that his heart crushed and he thought, “Well, how can I not?” Kevin’s cancer went into remission, but every year Mike would hide the words “Hi” and “Kevin” in his display for Kevin to find it--like a Where’s Waldo? game between them.

Sadly, Kevin’s cancer returned, and he died at age 19. Mike spoke at Kevin’s funeral, telling the mourners he’d be making his “Hi Kevin” sign bigger that year, so Kevin would be able to see it from heaven. It has been on Mike’s garage roof every Christmas ever since.

“In the beginning,” Mike said, “my annual ‘Hi Kevin’ was just a silly gesture to a really nice kid who had been through some tough times. But it has been my honor to keep the salute going for his friends and family.”

Giant companies that study us in hopes of unearthing insights that can help them sell more potato chips, laundry detergent, and lipstick have reached a conclusion that economists and pollsters have also found. We are unhappy—squeezed by inflation, troubled by global conflicts, and worried about an acrimonious election season. The companies are calibrating their pitches to entice us to open our wallets as a way of improving our collective mood.

Clorox thinks it can help with a new toilet bomb, a tablet of cleaner that foams and fizzes in the toilet bowl and releases a pleasant scent. “People are looking for a spark of fun and joy,” said Clorox’s general manager of cleaning. “We all know the world can get messy, but we understand the link between a clean environment and one’s physical and emotional well-being.”

As part of what Clorox calls a “consumer-obsessed” approach, staffers started using artificial-intelligence tools to scan digital media for new ideas. The Foaming Toilet Bomb is its first product from this initiative.

Procter & Gamble combs societal trends to select a scent of the year. So, P&G declared “Romance & Desire” its scent of the year, and bequeathed it to anxious Americans in the form of new Febreze air fresheners with a fragrance of pink rose petals and champagne spritz. The product line is intended to offer a sensory reminder of the importance of human connection, the company said.

In May of 2023, over 5,000 Americans were asked “Do you currently have or are you currently being treated for depression?" The study showed that around 24% of women in the U.S. reported currently having or being treated for depression, compared to 11% of men.

These numbers have increased from a similar study in 2017, when 17.6% of women reported currently having or being treated for depression, compared to 9% of men. In six years, the total number of men and women having or being treated for depression increased from 13.5% (2017) to 17.8% (2023).

• According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), 1 in 5 Americans suffer from a mental illness.
• Anxiety disorders are the highest reported mental health issue in the U.S. with 42.5 million Americans claiming to suffer from this illness. (Mental Health America).
• Mental health crises account for 60 million visits to primary care and 6 million ER visits annually. (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention).
• More than 40,000 Americans die annually from suicide, which is the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S.

Editor’s Note: You can view many more mental health statistics here and here.