False Christs

In an issue of CT magazine Pastor Jeremy Treat writes:

My high-school basketball coach was a classic, old-school screamer who motivated with fear and shame. His voice was powerful, but I heard it only when I did something wrong. If I turned the ball over on offense or blew my assignment on defense, practice would stop, and the shaming would begin. Red in the cheeks and foaming at the mouth, he would scream until I had to wipe the spit off the side of my face. I never really knew him outside of basketball practice, but I know he was an angry man.

Many people have a similar view of God. They believe he’s a grumpy old man who has to get his way, and that when he doesn’t, he will shame, guilt, and scare people to get them in line. Although most wouldn’t say it out loud, deep down many believers think of God as “the God who is out to get me.” That God is waiting for us to mess up so he can meet his divine quota for punishing sin. Perhaps this comes from a particular teaching or from a bad experience with a church or a Christian, but either way, this is how many functionally view God.

When we open the Bible, we encounter a very different God. The God who delights. The God who sings. The God who saves. “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” (Zeph. 3:17). God’s rejoicing in us today gives us hope for tomorrow (Isa. 65:17-19).

For about five dollars you can buy a four-inch plastic bobblehead Jesus that bounces on a metal spring and adheres firmly to the dashboard of your car. One advertisement for this product says you can “stick him where you need forgiveness” and he will “guide you through the valley of gridlock.”

The dashboard Jesus has become a cultural phenomenon. In the song “Plastic Jesus” Billy Idol sings, “With my plastic Jesus, goodbye and I'll go far, with my plastic Jesus sitting on the dashboard of my car.” Paul Newman sang it in the movie Cool Hand Luke. The words begin, “Well, I don’t care if it rains or freezes, long as I have my plastic Jesus sitting on the dashboard of my car.”

To lots of people, Jesus, church, and Christianity are cultural trappings but not life-changing realities. Author Josh McDowell warns that many people today see Jesus “like a plastic statue on a car dashboard—smiling, robed, a halo suspended above his head.” But that superstitious or sentimental view of Jesus is a myth. Jesus of Nazareth was no plastic saint. He’s a real-world kind of Savior.

It’s not important whether you have Jesus on your car’s dashboard, but it’s vital to know he’s living in your heart. He isn’t plastic, he’s powerful. He’s not small, he’s infinite. He’s not a good-luck token. He’s the risen Lord of time and eternity.

A high school ethics textbook published by the Chinese government includes a revised version of John 8:3–11. In the Christian version, Jesus is presented with a woman caught in adultery and says, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her” (v. 7).

In the Communist revision, however, Jesus says the law has to be enforced and stones the woman to death himself.

Possible Preaching Angle:

This false translation represents the malicious teaching that Satan would have the world believe: God is merciless, harsh, and cold towards sinners who come to him. Satan does all he can to conceal the wonderful grace of God freely offered to all in the crucified and risen Christ.

After stating that Jesus Christ was “one of the greatest men that ever walked the earth,” rocker Sammy Hagar was then asked: “What do you think about the claims of Christ to be the Way, the Truth and the Life – No one comes to the Father but by Me?”

Hagar replied, “I think that’s something man made up – I’m not sure, though I can’t say in my heart that I believe that, but I also can’t say that I know for a fact that it’s wrong. I think it’s just been misinterpreted and taken out of context … I really interpret that as Christ saying, ‘The way I preach life, is you don’t hurt another, you don’t kill …’ you know, the Ten Commandments. Let’s use those for the example. I believe that He’s saying, ‘This is the way to God.’ You don’t have to go through Him, and use Him, like He’s saying, ‘I’m the egotist,’ or ‘I’m the vehicle.’ He’s teaching. ‘If you don’t obey these rules, you will not go to heaven, and not be in touch with God.’”

Hagar continues, “I think too much emphasis on the Man Himself, and if He were walking around here today, He would go, ‘Hey man, don’t be looking at Me. I can’t save your (expletive). Only you can save your (expletive). And He made it pretty easy on us. Those rules are so simple, The Ten Commandments … Anybody in their right mind could live by those rules. I think that’s all Christ was really trying to do.”

In April 2016, Harper's Magazine published a fascinating report about a man named Jay Miscovich, who found what he claimed were hundreds of emeralds from a Spanish shipwreck that went down in 1622. The Florida Keys have long been a hunting ground for sunken treasure. So many vessels were wrecked among the islands and reefs, loaded as they were with billions of dollars' worth of gold, silver, and jewels being shipped in countless Spanish armadas as they sailed from South America to Spain, that they still attract hundreds of seekers after true treasure. Jay's samples and claims that he'd found masses of emeralds that were still out there were estimated to be worth a half billion dollars.

With the advice of a partner, lawyers, and jewel experts, millions of investment dollars were collected from private individuals, wall street managers, and a company specifically set up to protect this enormous find. The article paints Jay as a sympathetic character. He is likeable in ways that make you end up rooting for him. Most of those who contributed to his project were individuals or companies who only cared about what monetary value could be gained from owning or selling the priceless jewels for themselves.

In the end, the world discovered that Jay Miscovich's entire story was manufactured. He made it all up, including deliberately "seeding" the ocean floor with emeralds he'd bought on the market. Exactly as he hoped, his false claims drew the interest of treasure hunters. But down the road as unaccountable discrepancies surfaced, such as the Belgian jewelers finding an epoxy resin on the surface of the emeralds that could only have been added in modern times, and as one by one the investors pulled out, the entire story unraveled. Along with investigations came lawsuits, loss of friendships and family, and a poisonous atmosphere of distrust and anger.

Possible Preaching Angles: All of us are searching for "treasure," the pearl of great price. We are all treasure hunters. But are we on the trail of true treasure or a fake treasure?

According to film critic Nathaniel Rogers, in a 12 year period (2002-2014), 47 actors gave acceptance speeches at the Oscar award ceremonies. These Oscar-winning stars almost always offer thanks to someone for their achievement. Kate Winslet thanked her director Peter Jackson. Colin Firth thanked his producer Harvey Weinstein. Christoph Waltz praised his director Quentin Taratino as "the Creator." Other award winners have thanked other celebrities, including Oprah (two times), Sidney Portier (two times), and Meryl Streep (four times). Rogers also observed that God has only been thanked three times (once less than Meryl Streep).

Rogers concludes, "It's not that God is never mentioned … There's a reason for this notable lack of the divine, and it isn't the absence of religious faith. It's just that to actors, the director is god." Or in the case of George Clooney, Rogers claims that he thanked no one directly, because "who needs to worship a [god] when the man in the mirror [Clooney that is] is a golden god?"

At the age of 47, the writer William Giraldi's father died tragically in a motorcycle accident. Giraldi's father was a decent husband and father, but he also had a hobby that he seemed to cherish more than anything—his motorcycle. Every Sunday for most of his adult life he cruised the highways with his biker friends. His life advice often focused on two words: Ride hard. Eventually, his commitment to ride at "insane speeds" would lead to his death.

After his father's death, William Giraldi tried to make sense of and then write about his father's passion for biking. The younger Giraldi visited the scene of the accident and talked to the coroner who examined his father's mangled body. For his final stop, Giraldi and his uncle visited the motorcycle shop where his father's bike had been inspected.

Giraldi writes:

[The mechanics] at the shop looked at my uncle and me and solemnly nodded in respect: a comrade had fallen, and we were the comrade's family …. these men on motorcycles reveled in the camaraderie, the bond; they were a band of primordial hunters out for the kill that would sustain them …. [My father belonged to] a private club that chose its members carefully. It was noble to be part of this thrill that was larger than each of them. Every Sunday the ride replaced God, a substituting savior.

And what was the result of following this "substituting savior"? One of the mechanics told Giraldi, "… to go out doing what you love … that's the only way to die. It's honorable." But Giraldi wrote: "Of course I don't believe that … There's nothing honorable about dying a violent death at forty-seven years old and leaving behind a score of family members whose lives are all ruined in some way."

Possible Preaching Angles: Idols; Idolatry; Priorities—It's the same way for all of us: when we replace God with something else, when we have "a substituting savior," it will, in one way or another, ruin the lives of others around us. (2) Legacy—We will leave a legacy. The question this: will it be more a legacy of blessing or more a legacy of hurt?

In his book With , Skye Jethani tells about a test that Scot McKnight gives every year to his incoming group of college students:

The test begins with a series of questions about what the students think Jesus is like. Is he moody? Does he get nervous? Is he the life of the party or an introvert? The twenty-four questions are then followed by a second set—with slightly altered language—in which the students answer questions about their own personalities.

McKnight is not the only one who has administered this exam; it has been field tested by other professionals as well. But the results are remarkably consistent—everyone thinks Jesus is just like them. McKnight added, "The test results also suggest that, even though we like to think we are becoming more like Jesus, the reverse is probably more the case: we try to make Jesus like ourselves."

McKnight's personality questionnaire confirms what the French philosopher Voltaire said three centuries ago: "If God has made us in his image, we have returned him the favor."

In The Story of Christian Theology, theologian Roger Olson writes:

A popular misconception—perhaps a Christian urban legend—is that the United States Secret Service never shows bank tellers counterfeit money when teaching them to identify it. The agents who do the training, so the legend goes, show bank tellers only examples of genuine money so that when the phony money appears before them they will know it by its difference from the real thing. The story is supposed to make the point that Christians ought to study truth and never heresy.

The first time I heard the tale as a sermon illustration I intuited its falseness. On checking with the Treasury Department's Minneapolis Secret Service agent in charge of training bank tellers to identify counterfeit money, my suspicion was confirmed. He laughed at the story and wondered aloud who would start it and who would believe it. At my request he sent me a letter confirming that the Secret Service does show examples of counterfeit money to bank tellers.

I believe it is important and valuable for Christians to know not only theological correctness (orthodoxy) but also the ideas of those judged as heretics within the church's story. One reason is that it is almost impossible to appreciate the meaning of orthodoxy without understanding the heresies that forced its development.

Seatbelts can be a hassle. Some people just don't want to be bothered even when the law requires them to buckle up. According to the Associated Press, a New Zealander named Ivan Segedin took it to an extreme. The police ticketed him 32 times over five years for failing to use his seat belt. Even though this was costing him big money, Segedin refused to buckle up. Finally, instead of obeying the law, the man decided to rely on deception. He made a fake seat belt that would hang over his shoulder and make it appear that he was wearing a seat belt when he was not.

His trick worked for a while. Then, he had a head-on collision. He was thrown forward onto the steering wheel and killed.

Discussing the accident, the coroner described the fake seat belt: "Though his car was fitted with seat belts, an extra belt with a long strap had been knotted above the seat belt on the driver's side, providing a belt to simply sit over the driver's shoulder."

When truly tested, what is fake will fail you.

A new, highly efficient system is being used by San Francisco and New York City to detect the presence of toxins in a city's water supply, a possible sign of a terrorist attack. They have found that the best tool for monitoring such threats are bluegills, those little fish so many catch on a lazy summer afternoon.

According to an article by the Associated Press, a small number of bluegills are kept in a tank at the bottom of a city's water treatment plant because they are highly attuned to chemical imbalances in their environment. When a disturbance is present in the water, the bluegills react against it. If the computerized system of the treatment plant detects even the slightest change in a bluegill's vital signs, it sends out an e-mail alert.

Bill Lawler, the co-founder of the corporation that makes and sells these bluegill monitoring systems, said, "Nature's given us pretty much the most powerful and reliable early warning center out there."

Scotland Yard recently conducted a private exhibition of forged paintings for art dealers. The objective was to send a warning to their select audience about the sale of forgeries, which some experts estimate make up 40 percent of the art market. The sale of these fakes can undermine the value of the genuine articles.

The forgeries at the exhibit were created with remarkable proficiency. Reliance on documentation alone won't solve the problem because even that is often forged! Fiona Ford, of the Association of Arts & Antiques Dealers, said the level of skill displayed by the forgers was "terrifying." She added, "If every dealer saw this exhibition, it would further impress on them how careful they have to be."

Our society has taken Jesus and recreated him in our own cultural image. When I hear Jesus being proclaimed from the television stations across our country, from pulpits hither and yon, he comes across not as the biblical Jesus, not as the Jesus described in the Bible, but as a white, Anglo-Saxon, Protestant Republican. ... God created us in his image, but we have decided to return the favor and create a God who is in our image.