Fatherhood

In a story that moved even seasoned doctors to tears, a young girl named Pari inspired what her neurologist calls a “sort of miracle” after her father suffered a devastating stroke. Shared by Dr. Sudhir Kumar of Apollo Hospitals in India, the story has touched hearts around the world.

When her father was hospitalized, paralyzed and unable to speak, Pari arrived with a cracked, faded pink piggy bank—her most treasured possession—and offered its contents to the doctors. “I have saved a lot of coins in this,” she said, her voice steady despite her tears. “You can use all of them to make Papa speak again.”

Moved by her love, the medical team enrolled her father in an intensive rehabilitation program that included Melodic Intonation Therapy (MIT), which uses music and melody to help restore language. Slowly, with the help of Kishore Kumar’s classic Hindi songs—favorites he once sang with his daughter—faint hums gave way to broken words.

Each day, Pari visited the hospital, sitting by his side, reminding him of their cherished game of antakshari, a common Indian parlor game where people sing with and to one another. One song in particular became their bridge through the silence: “Rona kabhi nahi rona, chahe toot jaye khilona” (“Never cry, even if your toy breaks”). Though he couldn’t yet converse, his hums were filled with affection and hope.

Then, three months later, the miracle arrived. Pari walked into the outpatient department—this time with her father beside her. He stood tall, smiling. And then, with clear words and joy in his voice, he said, “Pari, let’s play antakshari.”

It was a moment no one in the room would forget. A father reclaimed from silence. A daughter’s love, translated into healing. For these two, in this moment, their love was the most effective treatment.

Possible Preaching Angle:

God can use the smallest acts of love and faith to bring about mighty healing and restoration.

Yet another study shows what should be obvious: teenagers need to spend time with dad. The study tracked over 200 families and found that time with both parents starts to decrease when kids reach the age of 15. But the University of Pennsylvania study also found that the time teens spend with their dads has critical benefits.

A CNN article stated, "The more time spent alone with their fathers, the higher their self-esteem; the more time with their dads in a group setting, the better their social skills." The article also said that time with mom helps too, but there's just something special about time with dad.

The researchers conjectured that one-on-one time with dad "may develop higher general self-worth [in teenagers] because their fathers go beyond social expectations to devote undivided attention to them."

The message is clear: dads can make a huge difference in their kids' lives.

M. Robert Mulholland, Jr., writes in “Invitation to a Journey”:

I once heard a woman tell of her struggle with this reality. Her mother was a prostitute, and she was the accidental byproduct of her mother's occupation. Her life's pilgrimage had brought her to faith in Christ, blessed her with a deeply Christian husband and beautiful children, and given her a life of love and stability. But she was obsessed with the need to find out who her father was. This obsession was affecting her marriage, her family, and her life.

She told how one day she was standing at the kitchen sink, washing the dishes, with tears of anguish and frustration running down her face into the dishwater. In her agony, she cried out, "Oh, God, who is my father?" Then, she said, she heard a voice saying to her, "I am your father."

The voice was so real she turned to see who had come into the kitchen, but there was no one there. Again, the voice came, "I am your father, and I have always been your father."

In that moment she knew a profound scriptural reality. She came to know that deeper than the "accident" of her conception was the eternal purpose of a loving God, who had spoken her forth into being before the foundation of the world.

In an article in The Atlantic, Russel Shaw writes:

When my son was a toddler, I realized how much my emotional reactions influenced his. If I showed worry when he fell, he'd wail; if I remained calm, he'd recover. Learning that I could so powerfully influence his mental state was a revelation. This taught me that parenting is about more than just teaching skills; it's about shaping emotions.

Our instinct is to protect our children, but overprotecting can hinder their development. This urge has led to pop-culture mythology around pushy parenting styles, including the “Helicopter Parent,” who flies in to rescue a child in crisis, and the “Snowplow Parent,” who flattens any obstacle in their child’s way.

Lighthouse parents, on the other hand, provide support while allowing their children to learn from their experiences. Like a lighthouse that helps sailors avoid crashing into rocks, Lighthouse Parents provide firm boundaries and emotional support while allowing their children the freedom to navigate their own challenges. The key is learning when to step back and let them find their own way.

The crucial shift is from fixing problems to listening. Listening teaches resilience and communicates trust in our children's abilities. Parenting can be stressful, but by letting them face challenges, we help them build the skills they need to thrive.

Living in Hollywood is a challenge. Growing up as a child actor almost guarantees a life of dysfunction. Without a strong father, Ron Howard could have taken the path of least resistance. But his father was there from the beginning, protecting, loving, guiding.

There was a time when Dennis the Menace was a hit as a troublemaking, mop-headed boy. “Leave It to Beaver” featured boys who rubbed adults the wrong way. The wisecracking, annoying trope was all the rage. It’s also how the character of Opie was originally written.

After the first reading, Rance Howard, Ron’s father, sat down with Andy Griffith and gently encouraged him to make Opie’s relationship with his TV dad a little more tender and innocent, a little more real, like his relationship with his own boys. Andy listened and took the suggestion to heart. When shooting started, Opie emerged as a new kind of television boy, a kid who had a special relationship with his father, who helped his son through life’s challenges.

Seeing a boy own up to his mistakes and a father own up to his — traits influenced by Rance and Ron — created an honest relationship that families still look to today. Ron Howard says of his father, “He stood for something that people could recognize as integrity. And we benefited from that.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

Looking up to your father is a powerful force. We need wise fathers as role models in life. Fathers who love us and help us learn from our mishaps.

Michael Hoffen is a new author, and like him, the central character of his book is a teenager. But there’s quite an age gap between them—about 4,000 years. That’s because Hoffen translated an ancient papyrus from Egypt’s Middle Kingdom and brought to life the true story of a young Egyptian from ancient times named Pepi. In the papyrus, Pepi’s father, Khety, is intent on getting his son a job in the royal court.

Young Pepi wonders what career path he should choose, an important matter still contemplated today by millions of teenagers forty centuries later. His father Khety takes him on a long journey up the Nile to enroll him in a school far away from home. Along the way, Khety explains 18 other terrible jobs Pepi could end up having to work at if he is not hired as a scribe.

Hoffen, who has been translating ancient texts since middle school, became fascinated by a 4,000-year-old or so piece of literature from ancient Egypt’s Middle Kingdom known as The Instruction of Khety.

Under the guidance and collaboration of his two co-authors, Egyptologists Christian Casey and Jen Thum, Hoffen spent three-and-a-half years translating hieroglyphics into modern-day prose and gathering images to tell the story of Kheti and Pepi.

He then published a book called “Be A Scribe! Working for a Better Life in Ancient Egypt.” In the book he describes just how little the human condition has changed in thousands of years and shows readers that working for a living has never been easy!

Possible Preaching Angle:

Parents still want the best for their children, and teenagers face important decisions as they set out on their career paths. This story shows how little parenting has changed across thousands of years. The record of an Egyptian father giving life advice to his son mirrors the same instructions that Solomon gave to his sons in Proverbs, “Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding. For I give you sound teaching…” (Prov. 4:1)

American Protestants are keeping their children in the faith at a higher rate than Catholics or the una­ffiliated. The biggest influence: mothers.

Children Of Two Protestant Parents:

80% are still Protestant

13% are now unaffiliated

2% are now Catholic

Children Of Two Catholic Parents:

62% are still Catholic

19% are now unaffiliated

16% are now Protestant

Children Of Two Unaffiliated Parents:

63% are still unaffiliated

29% are now Protestant

7% are now Catholic

Children Of A Protestant Mother And Catholic Father:

49% are now Protestant

25% are now unaffiliated

14% are now Catholic

Children Of A Protestant Mother And Unaffiliated Father:

61% are now Protestant

29% are now unaffiliated

2% are now Catholic

Former Oregon Ducks star Greg Bell remembers a pivotal moment that changed his relationship with his daughter Sofia.

Greg had just finished watching Sofia, then eleven, cross the finish line at a track meet. When he went over to congratulate her on her finish, she had a question for him. She asked, “Dad, why are you and everyone yelling at me while I’m running?” Greg laughed. “Sweetie, we’re just trying to help you run faster.” Sofia looked around and tersely replied: “What do you think I’m trying to do?”

Sofia is now a sophomore at the University of Oregon, and a star ball player in her own right. She won a national championship in a Nike invitational tournament with her AAU team, and was named a McDonalds All-American in 2023. And she credits both of her parents for their encouragement, especially her dad.

Sofia said of her dad, “He definitely gave me a lot of guidance and still does. He is pretty consistent with his texts and his little stuff.”

Reflecting on how he changed his own parenting style, Greg said, “(For) most kids, I think, the worst part of sports is the ride home. We didn’t want sports to be a negative for her. She’s already going to be self-critical.”

Greg is convinced that Sofia chose the same path he did, playing the same sport at the same school, because he gave her the space to express her own personality. By allowing her this freedom, he believes she was able to find her own way and make her own decisions. He says parents can help their kids the best when they’re not lurking or overbearing with parental interference. Greg told a reporter:

So much of it is just having a strong relationship with her. What’s the relationship going to look like when the ball stops bouncing? If I’m a jerk to her while we’re in the gym, what’s that going to look like in five years?... I shot all the baskets I’m going to shoot… It’s her legacy. Not mine.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Like a loving parent guiding a teen into adulthood or a coach guiding a star player into a successful athletic campaign, God walks with us every day and gives us what we need to become the people we were created to be.

After celebrating his national championship as the head football coach for the Michigan Wolverines, Jim Harbaugh made a surprise appearance at the March for Life in Washington D.C. Harbaugh truly lives out his pro-life convictions. In 2022, he told ESPN about encouraging his players to come to him if they ever dealt with an unplanned and unwanted pregnancy with a partner. He said he wanted them to know that he’d be happy to raise the baby with his wife.

I’ve told (them) the same thing I tell my kids, boys, the girls, same thing I tell our players, our staff members. I encourage them — if they have a pregnancy that wasn’t planned, to go through with it, go through with it. Let that unborn child be born, and if at that time, you don’t feel like you can care for it, you don’t have the means or the wherewithal, then Sarah and I will take that baby. … We got a big house. We’ll raise that baby.

When asked by the media if it was appropriate for him to share his views on the issue, Harbaugh replied:

We need to talk about it. It’s too big an issue to not give real serious consideration to. What kind of person would you be if you didn’t stand up for what you believe in and didn’t fight tooth and nail for it? I believe in letting the unborn be born.

In his Hall of Fame speech, Brett Favre told a story that he had never shared publicly:

One more thing about my father, and this is something I've never told anyone. My dad was my high school football coach. He was the head football coach, and he coached me and my two brothers. But I never had a car growing up and I always rode to and from school with my father in his truck. So, he was always the last to leave the building because he had to turn the lights off, lock up, and then we made our way home.

So, it was the last high school football game of my high school career. Although I don't remember how I played in the last game, what I do remember is sitting outside the coach's office, waiting for my father to come out so we could leave. It was dark. And I overheard my father talking to the three other coaches. I heard him -- and I assume I didn't play as well the previous week only because of what he said. He said: ‘I can assure you one thing about my son; he will play better. He will redeem himself. I know my son. He has it in him.’

And I never let him know that I heard that. I never said that to anyone else. But I thought to myself: That's a pretty good compliment, you know? My chest kind of swelled up. But I never forgot that statement and that comment that he made to those other coaches. And I want you to know, Dad, I spent the rest of my career trying to redeem myself.

I'm working on it. I'm trying to get through it. But I spent the rest of my career trying to redeem myself and make him proud, and I hope I succeeded.

Possible Preaching Angle:

For better or for worse, our words are self-fulfilling prophecies. Are you giving people, especially your children, something to live up to or something to live down to? Are your words life-giving? Or do they suck the life out of others? Are your words encouraging or discouraging?

In a fascinating article, writer Tim Grierson walks us through the history of the TV dad and shows how each dad reflects the values in America at that time. Below you will see the summary of each era of TV dad.

• Mid 1950s - Jim Anderson (Father Knows Best): Father Knows Best preached a wholesome, slightly square domestic normalcy that placed the dad at the top. His job is to go to work and make a living, enduring his little tots when he comes home at night. Everything's perfect, and nobody has any major problems.
• The 1960s - Steve Douglas (My Three Sons): Steve Douglas was the friendly, noble single dad to three growing boys. What was mildly edgy about the show was that his character was a widower, allowing Americans to see a nontraditional family dynamic on TV. My Three Sons at least started to reveal the cracks in the idealized American portrait of father-mother-and-cute-kids.
• 1970s - Archie Bunker (All in the Family): This was a father who definitely didn't know best—more accurately, he represented an outdated worldview that was quickly being shoved aside by a new (and, for him, frightening) order.
• Late 1980s - Dan Conner (Roseanne): Dan was a new kind of father: vulnerable and sweet, henpecked by his bossy wife but still hopelessly devoted to her. Dan was a man constantly ashamed of his inability to give his family a better life, but always trying to compensate by being as good a guy as possible.
• 1990s - Homer Simpson (The Simpsons): In Homer, The Simpsons found what is, to this day, the perfect modern-day TV father: drunken, well-intentioned, utterly worthless, prone to anger, always at a loss for the right thing to do or say.
• 2000s - Tony Soprano (The Sopranos): Tony Soprano is the prototypical breadwinner and head of the household; except he's so hobbled by inner turmoil and “business” concerns that he's on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
• 2010s - Bob Belcher (Bob's Burgers): In Bob we see the overextended modern dad in all his rumpled glory, just trying to keep his head above water in all aspects of his life.

"I feel like a monster," Gabriel Marshall said to his dad. Eight-year-old Gabriel had recently undergone surgery to remove a tumor from his brain, and he now bore a conspicuous scar on the side of his head. His dad, Josh, had an idea: he got a tattoo on the side of his head that was in the exact shape of Gabriel's scar. He told Gabriel, "If people want to stare at you, then they can stare at both of us."

A picture of the two sporting their scars eventually won first place in a Father's Day photo competition run by St. Baldrick's Foundation, "an organization dedicated to fighting childhood cancer."

Possible Preaching Angle:

In some ways, their story might remind us of another story: about an empathetic Father, a wounded Son, and scars that were chosen because of love.

In a nod to the adage about family life that parenting is the hardest job in the world, most parents (62%) say being a parent has been at least somewhat harder than they expected, with about a quarter (26%) saying it’s been a lot harder. This is especially true of mothers, 30% of whom say being a parent has been a lot harder than they expected (compared with 20% of fathers).

Over the last 20 years, research has consistently shown that fathers have a unique way of engaging with small children. Horsing around is more common with fathers than it is with mothers, especially as infants grow into toddlers and preschoolers. Studies show vigorous bouncing, lifting, tossing, and chasing take over from more gentle play, and this roughhousing leads to better self-control and school readiness as children turn five. The father’s rough-and-tumble play is also connected to better gross-motor skills in the child, regardless of the father’s income or education level.

A vast study, published in the journal Pediatric Research in the summer of 2023 adds weight to the idea that a father’s hands-on involvement underpins a child’s later ability to self-regulate and problem-solve. A research team from Japan sampled 28,040 children. At intervals of six months, from one month of age to their third birthday, each child’s mother was asked to rate the father’s participation in early child-rearing, including feeding, changing diapers, bathing, dressing, playing at home or outdoors, and putting the child to sleep. Japanese fathers are typically less involved in child-rearing than North American fathers. But when the researchers examined the children’s milestones at age three, they discovered that children whose fathers invested more time in their care showed better gross and fine motor skills, problem solving, and social skills than children whose fathers were not as involved.

There was no difference between the language skills of kids with involved versus aloof fathers. The lead researcher concluded that “the risk of developmental delay in children with highly involved fathers was 24% lower.”

According Deadspin’s sports columnist, Stephen Knox, NBA legend LeBron James may have achieved athletic feats that ordinary men can only dream of, but in one important way he’s just like many other men his age: he’s still an overprotective dad.

LeBron is the father of LeBron “Bronny” James, Jr. A point guard for the University of Southern California Trojans, Bronny has been widely considered a highly touted college basketball prospect for most of his collegiate athletic career. But it’s been unclear how much his visibility is due to hard work, talent due to genetic advantages, or simple nepotism.

This is why James caught some heat online after he responded defensively to the news that the prognosticators of the 2024 ESPN Mock NBA Draft left Bronny off their list, implying that he might need one more year of college basketball before his skill level will make him NBA-ready.

“Can y’all just let a kid be a kid and enjoy college basketball,” LeBron wrote on a recent social media post. “The work and results will ultimately do the talking no matter what he decides to do.”

Critics and skeptics piled on by rightly pointing out that LeBron helped to create the hype that he is now decrying by publicly stating a desire to play with his son in the NBA. Nevertheless, it seems as though Knox is willing to give LeBron the benefit of the doubt regarding his motivations. Knox concluded, “Even an American sports icon can get carried away with parental pride.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

Our Heavenly Father loves us fully and unconditionally; no matter the pressure others put on us or we put on ourselves, God requires us only to faithfully live our calling and trust the outcome into his care.

Hall of Fame NFL quarterback Steve Young has found a new way to be around the sport that made him a star--coaching his daughters in flag football. Flag football will make its debut at the 2028 Olympics in Los Angeles. It is growing immensely because it combines the strategy and athleticism of American football and makes it less violent. Instead of being tackled, ball carriers are stopped when one of the small Velcro-enabled flags at their waist is removed.

Young said, “I was blown away at their sense of, ‘Oh my gosh, I no longer love football because I get to watch it. I now love football because I get to play it.’ And the difference in the emotion that they had, it just shocked me.” He later said, “It was just so much fun for me to relate to these fresh new feelings.”

Young coaches his daughters Summer and Laila on their high school flag football team, the Menlo Knights. After losing their first game after Young was recruited by former NFL player John Paye, the Knights went on a 15-game winning streak. By the end of the season, the Menlo Knights were playing on the main field in front of a big crowd with announcers.

Young has two sons and two daughters and says:

My boys have taught me more about life and didn’t play football, but I can’t tell you what they meant to me to be their dad. But my previous life wasn’t a part of our home very much until this last couple of months. My family life is sublime. I would want nothing more, honestly. But the fact that it does connect with my previous life in kind of a way that brings it home to me and then it’s my girls, it hits in a soft spot.

Possible Preaching Angle:

One of life's greatest joys is modeling a life of faithfulness and commitment to your children and guiding them as they attempt to follow your example.

After being in rock music for a season, Bob Carlisle's mood began to change in the mid 90's. He said, "I like anything that's done honestly and genuinely. Right now I'm more introspective and trying to write my own music." This led to Bob writing more about his family on his third solo album, Shades of Grace. Carlisle said, "I wanted to reveal more of myself as a father and as a husband. If I'm not nurturing my family, I have no business traveling."

The most inspirational song Carlisle recorded on the album Shades of Grace was a sentimental ballad about his daughter titled “Butterfly Kisses,” written for her 16th birthday. The song itself takes the listener through different stages of his daughter's life--of first being a child, then a teenager, and finally becoming a wife. The lyrics are extremely poignant and meaningful for all fathers.

Possible Preaching Angle:

The Bible teaches the importance of nurturing and guiding our children through the different stages of their growth, including the more challenging seasons (Prov. 22:6; Eph. 6:4). Let's ask God for wisdom and strength to nurture our children through all their stages of growth and development. Let's ensure we give quality time to understand them, walk with them, and to pray for them.

Editor’s Note: "Butterfly Kisses" by Bob Carlisle is still a popular song today, even though it was released over 25 years ago. As of 2023, the song has over 100 million streams on Spotify, 200 million views on YouTube, is the 14th most played song on Christian radio, and is the 22nd most played song at weddings.

"My husband Jerry was a ginormous presence. Such a happy guy," said his wife, Lori Belum. "He did everything for us. And he just loved Christmas."

The Belums were married in 2010 and had two sons, Benjamin and Sammy. Both boys love playing flag football and their dad loved supporting them even more. But the day after Thanksgiving, right after Benjamin scored the game-winning touchdown, an unbelievable tragedy occurred on the sidelines. Lori said, “Jerry just collapsed ... and that was it. A ruptured aortic dissection is what they called it and it's pretty much instant death."

In many ways, the Belums don't know how to move on. But they did know one way of honoring their beloved husband and father. The Belums took a trip to New York City to see Rockefeller Plaza, something they had planned to do with Jerry just a week prior to his death. And while they were away, neighbors got to work planning something special.

Neighbor Tracy Clancy said, “I think I labeled it 'Project Illumination' in the group chat.” The Belum's exterior Christmas decorations had already been unpacked. Jerry was planning to decorate the day he died. Then the neighbors huddled up to make sure his intentions came to light.

One neighbor said, “We wanted to do what Jerry had previously done to the house. But a little different because you know it can't be the exact same.” So, using a photograph of Jerry's decorations last year, the neighbors completed the house to near-perfection.

And upon returning home from New York, the Belums were shocked. "Who did it?" "Did Santa's helpers come by?" "They might have!" Those voices echoed from the backseat of the car in a video taken upon arrival. And the Belums now have a little more light to guide their way through life without Jerry.

Lori said, “We'll be together on Christmas and talk about him and get through it. It'll be hard, but we'll do it and we'll laugh and we'll cry and you know, we'll be okay. Right?”

In her 2023 book, Adam and Eve After the Pill, Revisited, author Mary Eberstadt explores the aftereffects of the sexual revolution on men, women, and children. Today there is considerably less family commitment and nurturing relationships than in the past. She writes:

Children today are considerably less likely to have siblings — and by extension, cousins, aunts, and uncles — than they were sixty years ago. Almost 30 percent of all households consist of just one person. Some 40 percent of all children lack a biological father in the home. Such momentous, ubiquitous changes to kinship have had and continue to have momentous and ubiquitous consequences. How could they not? A world of fewer and weaker family ties is one in which deprived people are furious about things they do not have or no longer know.

The National Review summarizes her main points:

To put it more starkly, in the name of human freedom, we have perhaps unwittingly created a society in which children on the whole experience less love and commitment in their lives than ever before. There are literally fewer people in their lives who are bonded to them by familial ties. This means fewer role models. Fewer chances to connect with the one odd cousin, aunt, or in-law who shares a peculiar passion or trait. It means less practice at socialization. It means fewer chances to practice sharing joy, and grief, with people whose bonds are natural and durable.

Eberstadt discloses the undeniably shocking consequences:

The vast majority of incarcerated juveniles have grown up in fatherless homes. ... Absent fathers predict higher rates of truancy, psychiatric problems, criminality, promiscuity, drug use, rape, domestic violence, and other tragic outcomes.