Fathers

In an interview with The New York Times the actor Bill Murray revealed how every human being has suffering and losses. The interviewer asked: “You lost your dad at 17. Do you think your dad’s passing put you on a particular path?”

Murray replied, “I do. I think I had two events in my life. That was one, and the other one, was when I was about 4, my younger sister contracted polio. I wasn’t aware of what was happening, but all of a sudden you become not exactly an afterthought, but you’re not the primary worry anymore. I had a great birthday when I was 5. I got a Davy Crockett bicycle with a rifle sheath and a rifle that came with it loaded on the frame of the bike. It had saddle bags. I got a coonskin cap, I got a Cubs jacket and a Cubs hat, a baseball and a bat. And I never had another birthday until I was 13. That was it. Then when I was 17, my father died. There went the family income. Whatever life we were with nine kids by that point, was going to be even more crimped. So I had to figure out how to get by in life.”

In a story that moved even seasoned doctors to tears, a young girl named Pari inspired what her neurologist calls a “sort of miracle” after her father suffered a devastating stroke. Shared by Dr. Sudhir Kumar of Apollo Hospitals in India, the story has touched hearts around the world.

When her father was hospitalized, paralyzed and unable to speak, Pari arrived with a cracked, faded pink piggy bank—her most treasured possession—and offered its contents to the doctors. “I have saved a lot of coins in this,” she said, her voice steady despite her tears. “You can use all of them to make Papa speak again.”

Moved by her love, the medical team enrolled her father in an intensive rehabilitation program that included Melodic Intonation Therapy (MIT), which uses music and melody to help restore language. Slowly, with the help of Kishore Kumar’s classic Hindi songs—favorites he once sang with his daughter—faint hums gave way to broken words.

Each day, Pari visited the hospital, sitting by his side, reminding him of their cherished game of antakshari, a common Indian parlor game where people sing with and to one another. One song in particular became their bridge through the silence: “Rona kabhi nahi rona, chahe toot jaye khilona” (“Never cry, even if your toy breaks”). Though he couldn’t yet converse, his hums were filled with affection and hope.

Then, three months later, the miracle arrived. Pari walked into the outpatient department—this time with her father beside her. He stood tall, smiling. And then, with clear words and joy in his voice, he said, “Pari, let’s play antakshari.”

It was a moment no one in the room would forget. A father reclaimed from silence. A daughter’s love, translated into healing. For these two, in this moment, their love was the most effective treatment.

Possible Preaching Angle:

God can use the smallest acts of love and faith to bring about mighty healing and restoration.

A father's alcohol consumption has long been overshadowed by the focus on what a mother drinks. But that could be about to change following more research.

For more than 50 years, scientists have warned about the risks of drinking alcohol in pregnancy. Recent research has found that a mother's consumption of as little as one drink a week may affect a child's brain development, cognitive function and behavior, and facial shape. For decades, public health campaigns have repeatedly said that there's no safe amount of alcohol for moms to drink while pregnant.

But as the risks of maternal alcohol consumption have become better documented, another potential contributing factor to FASD (fetal alcohol spectrum disorder) has remained largely overlooked: how much the father drinks.

Researcher Michael Golding at Texas A&M University studies alcohol exposure and fetal development. He said, "For years now, we've been hearing stories from women who said, 'I never drank during pregnancy, but now I have an FAS kid – and my male partner was a chronic alcohol abuser." But such stories often were dismissed as mothers being forgetful, if not outright lying.

However, recent research raises an intriguing possibility: these mothers were right all along. The idea that a father's alcohol consumption before conception could have an impact on the offspring may seem far-fetched. But recent population studies have found that babies whose fathers drank are at a higher risk for various poor health outcomes.

Based on the research so far, how much alcohol is "safe" for a father to drink if he knows his partner may conceive? We don't have that data. Still, he says, "If it were my sons, I would tell them to stop drinking altogether."

While the exact impact of paternal drinking has yet to be teased out, researchers agree on one thing. “There's this enormous burden that's been placed on women. But male health is important to fetal development. There is a responsibility of both parties here to support and provide for the health of the baby.”

Yet another study shows what should be obvious: teenagers need to spend time with dad. The study tracked over 200 families and found that time with both parents starts to decrease when kids reach the age of 15. But the University of Pennsylvania study also found that the time teens spend with their dads has critical benefits.

A CNN article stated, "The more time spent alone with their fathers, the higher their self-esteem; the more time with their dads in a group setting, the better their social skills." The article also said that time with mom helps too, but there's just something special about time with dad.

The researchers conjectured that one-on-one time with dad "may develop higher general self-worth [in teenagers] because their fathers go beyond social expectations to devote undivided attention to them."

The message is clear: dads can make a huge difference in their kids' lives.

M. Robert Mulholland, Jr., writes in “Invitation to a Journey”:

I once heard a woman tell of her struggle with this reality. Her mother was a prostitute, and she was the accidental byproduct of her mother's occupation. Her life's pilgrimage had brought her to faith in Christ, blessed her with a deeply Christian husband and beautiful children, and given her a life of love and stability. But she was obsessed with the need to find out who her father was. This obsession was affecting her marriage, her family, and her life.

She told how one day she was standing at the kitchen sink, washing the dishes, with tears of anguish and frustration running down her face into the dishwater. In her agony, she cried out, "Oh, God, who is my father?" Then, she said, she heard a voice saying to her, "I am your father."

The voice was so real she turned to see who had come into the kitchen, but there was no one there. Again, the voice came, "I am your father, and I have always been your father."

In that moment she knew a profound scriptural reality. She came to know that deeper than the "accident" of her conception was the eternal purpose of a loving God, who had spoken her forth into being before the foundation of the world.

In an article in The Atlantic, Russel Shaw writes:

When my son was a toddler, I realized how much my emotional reactions influenced his. If I showed worry when he fell, he'd wail; if I remained calm, he'd recover. Learning that I could so powerfully influence his mental state was a revelation. This taught me that parenting is about more than just teaching skills; it's about shaping emotions.

Our instinct is to protect our children, but overprotecting can hinder their development. This urge has led to pop-culture mythology around pushy parenting styles, including the “Helicopter Parent,” who flies in to rescue a child in crisis, and the “Snowplow Parent,” who flattens any obstacle in their child’s way.

Lighthouse parents, on the other hand, provide support while allowing their children to learn from their experiences. Like a lighthouse that helps sailors avoid crashing into rocks, Lighthouse Parents provide firm boundaries and emotional support while allowing their children the freedom to navigate their own challenges. The key is learning when to step back and let them find their own way.

The crucial shift is from fixing problems to listening. Listening teaches resilience and communicates trust in our children's abilities. Parenting can be stressful, but by letting them face challenges, we help them build the skills they need to thrive.

Living in Hollywood is a challenge. Growing up as a child actor almost guarantees a life of dysfunction. Without a strong father, Ron Howard could have taken the path of least resistance. But his father was there from the beginning, protecting, loving, guiding.

There was a time when Dennis the Menace was a hit as a troublemaking, mop-headed boy. “Leave It to Beaver” featured boys who rubbed adults the wrong way. The wisecracking, annoying trope was all the rage. It’s also how the character of Opie was originally written.

After the first reading, Rance Howard, Ron’s father, sat down with Andy Griffith and gently encouraged him to make Opie’s relationship with his TV dad a little more tender and innocent, a little more real, like his relationship with his own boys. Andy listened and took the suggestion to heart. When shooting started, Opie emerged as a new kind of television boy, a kid who had a special relationship with his father, who helped his son through life’s challenges.

Seeing a boy own up to his mistakes and a father own up to his — traits influenced by Rance and Ron — created an honest relationship that families still look to today. Ron Howard says of his father, “He stood for something that people could recognize as integrity. And we benefited from that.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

Looking up to your father is a powerful force. We need wise fathers as role models in life. Fathers who love us and help us learn from our mishaps.

Michael Hoffen is a new author, and like him, the central character of his book is a teenager. But there’s quite an age gap between them—about 4,000 years. That’s because Hoffen translated an ancient papyrus from Egypt’s Middle Kingdom and brought to life the true story of a young Egyptian from ancient times named Pepi. In the papyrus, Pepi’s father, Khety, is intent on getting his son a job in the royal court.

Young Pepi wonders what career path he should choose, an important matter still contemplated today by millions of teenagers forty centuries later. His father Khety takes him on a long journey up the Nile to enroll him in a school far away from home. Along the way, Khety explains 18 other terrible jobs Pepi could end up having to work at if he is not hired as a scribe.

Hoffen, who has been translating ancient texts since middle school, became fascinated by a 4,000-year-old or so piece of literature from ancient Egypt’s Middle Kingdom known as The Instruction of Khety.

Under the guidance and collaboration of his two co-authors, Egyptologists Christian Casey and Jen Thum, Hoffen spent three-and-a-half years translating hieroglyphics into modern-day prose and gathering images to tell the story of Kheti and Pepi.

He then published a book called “Be A Scribe! Working for a Better Life in Ancient Egypt.” In the book he describes just how little the human condition has changed in thousands of years and shows readers that working for a living has never been easy!

Possible Preaching Angle:

Parents still want the best for their children, and teenagers face important decisions as they set out on their career paths. This story shows how little parenting has changed across thousands of years. The record of an Egyptian father giving life advice to his son mirrors the same instructions that Solomon gave to his sons in Proverbs, “Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding. For I give you sound teaching…” (Prov. 4:1)

In August of 2024, the outgoing U.S. surgeon general had a warning: Parenting can be harmful to your mental health. An advisory issued by Dr. Vivek Murthy, the nation’s doctor, said parents in particular are under dangerous levels of stress.

The report cites the American Psychological Association, saying nearly half of parents report overwhelming stress most days, compared with 26% of other adults. They’re lonelier, too, according to cited data from health insurer Cigna. In a 2021 survey, 65% of parents said they were lonely, compared with 55% of those without kids.

But who isn’t feeling that way? Elderly people are lonely and stressed. Single men are lonely and stressed. College students are lonely and stressed. Gen X moms are lonely and stressed. There’s an epidemic of loneliness and stress in this country and it’s bad for our mental and physical health, which Murthy pointed out in a previous advisory.

Murthy isn’t suggesting people quit having children. “There are so many joys and benefits that can come with parenting,” he said. “They can coexist with the stress parents feel.”

Instead, he’s issuing a call to action for anyone—especially lawmakers and bosses—with the power to lessen the load on parents. That load has grown heavier with the rising cost of child care, longer working hours and new threats, from school shootings to social media.

American Protestants are keeping their children in the faith at a higher rate than Catholics or the una­ffiliated. The biggest influence: mothers.

Children Of Two Protestant Parents:

80% are still Protestant

13% are now unaffiliated

2% are now Catholic

Children Of Two Catholic Parents:

62% are still Catholic

19% are now unaffiliated

16% are now Protestant

Children Of Two Unaffiliated Parents:

63% are still unaffiliated

29% are now Protestant

7% are now Catholic

Children Of A Protestant Mother And Catholic Father:

49% are now Protestant

25% are now unaffiliated

14% are now Catholic

Children Of A Protestant Mother And Unaffiliated Father:

61% are now Protestant

29% are now unaffiliated

2% are now Catholic

Former Oregon Ducks star Greg Bell remembers a pivotal moment that changed his relationship with his daughter Sofia.

Greg had just finished watching Sofia, then eleven, cross the finish line at a track meet. When he went over to congratulate her on her finish, she had a question for him. She asked, “Dad, why are you and everyone yelling at me while I’m running?” Greg laughed. “Sweetie, we’re just trying to help you run faster.” Sofia looked around and tersely replied: “What do you think I’m trying to do?”

Sofia is now a sophomore at the University of Oregon, and a star ball player in her own right. She won a national championship in a Nike invitational tournament with her AAU team, and was named a McDonalds All-American in 2023. And she credits both of her parents for their encouragement, especially her dad.

Sofia said of her dad, “He definitely gave me a lot of guidance and still does. He is pretty consistent with his texts and his little stuff.”

Reflecting on how he changed his own parenting style, Greg said, “(For) most kids, I think, the worst part of sports is the ride home. We didn’t want sports to be a negative for her. She’s already going to be self-critical.”

Greg is convinced that Sofia chose the same path he did, playing the same sport at the same school, because he gave her the space to express her own personality. By allowing her this freedom, he believes she was able to find her own way and make her own decisions. He says parents can help their kids the best when they’re not lurking or overbearing with parental interference. Greg told a reporter:

So much of it is just having a strong relationship with her. What’s the relationship going to look like when the ball stops bouncing? If I’m a jerk to her while we’re in the gym, what’s that going to look like in five years?... I shot all the baskets I’m going to shoot… It’s her legacy. Not mine.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Like a loving parent guiding a teen into adulthood or a coach guiding a star player into a successful athletic campaign, God walks with us every day and gives us what we need to become the people we were created to be.

Jacksonville Jaguars star linebacker Josh Allen has changed his name to Josh Hines-Allen, in tribute to his maternal family. His No. 41 jersey will feature the Hines-Allen name starting the 2024 NFL season. Hines-Allen said, “Legacy is forever, and I’m proud to carry that tradition on the back of my jersey, following in the footsteps of my family.” He aims to honor his family, many of whom are athletes, including his sister Myisha Hines-Allen of the WNBA’s Washington Mystics and other relatives who played basketball at collegiate and professional levels.

Previously, Allen was often mistaken for Buffalo Bills quarterback Josh Allen, notably sacking him in Week 9 of the 2021 NFL season. To mark his name change, Hines-Allen will host a jersey exchange in Jacksonville for fans with his previous "Allen 41" jerseys.

Hines-Allen has had a notable NFL career, tying for second in the league with 17.5 sacks in 2023. In his five seasons with the Jaguars, he has recorded 45 sacks, nine forced fumbles, and 251 tackles. Hines-Allen continues to make a significant impact on the field, now carrying a name that honors his family's legacy.

Possible Preaching Angle:

When we honor those who came before, we honor the God who sustained those ancestors through times of turmoil, trouble, and hardship.

In his Hall of Fame speech, Brett Favre told a story that he had never shared publicly:

One more thing about my father, and this is something I've never told anyone. My dad was my high school football coach. He was the head football coach, and he coached me and my two brothers. But I never had a car growing up and I always rode to and from school with my father in his truck. So, he was always the last to leave the building because he had to turn the lights off, lock up, and then we made our way home.

So, it was the last high school football game of my high school career. Although I don't remember how I played in the last game, what I do remember is sitting outside the coach's office, waiting for my father to come out so we could leave. It was dark. And I overheard my father talking to the three other coaches. I heard him -- and I assume I didn't play as well the previous week only because of what he said. He said: ‘I can assure you one thing about my son; he will play better. He will redeem himself. I know my son. He has it in him.’

And I never let him know that I heard that. I never said that to anyone else. But I thought to myself: That's a pretty good compliment, you know? My chest kind of swelled up. But I never forgot that statement and that comment that he made to those other coaches. And I want you to know, Dad, I spent the rest of my career trying to redeem myself.

I'm working on it. I'm trying to get through it. But I spent the rest of my career trying to redeem myself and make him proud, and I hope I succeeded.

Possible Preaching Angle:

For better or for worse, our words are self-fulfilling prophecies. Are you giving people, especially your children, something to live up to or something to live down to? Are your words life-giving? Or do they suck the life out of others? Are your words encouraging or discouraging?

In a fascinating article, writer Tim Grierson walks us through the history of the TV dad and shows how each dad reflects the values in America at that time. Below you will see the summary of each era of TV dad.

• Mid 1950s - Jim Anderson (Father Knows Best): Father Knows Best preached a wholesome, slightly square domestic normalcy that placed the dad at the top. His job is to go to work and make a living, enduring his little tots when he comes home at night. Everything's perfect, and nobody has any major problems.
• The 1960s - Steve Douglas (My Three Sons): Steve Douglas was the friendly, noble single dad to three growing boys. What was mildly edgy about the show was that his character was a widower, allowing Americans to see a nontraditional family dynamic on TV. My Three Sons at least started to reveal the cracks in the idealized American portrait of father-mother-and-cute-kids.
• 1970s - Archie Bunker (All in the Family): This was a father who definitely didn't know best—more accurately, he represented an outdated worldview that was quickly being shoved aside by a new (and, for him, frightening) order.
• Late 1980s - Dan Conner (Roseanne): Dan was a new kind of father: vulnerable and sweet, henpecked by his bossy wife but still hopelessly devoted to her. Dan was a man constantly ashamed of his inability to give his family a better life, but always trying to compensate by being as good a guy as possible.
• 1990s - Homer Simpson (The Simpsons): In Homer, The Simpsons found what is, to this day, the perfect modern-day TV father: drunken, well-intentioned, utterly worthless, prone to anger, always at a loss for the right thing to do or say.
• 2000s - Tony Soprano (The Sopranos): Tony Soprano is the prototypical breadwinner and head of the household; except he's so hobbled by inner turmoil and “business” concerns that he's on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
• 2010s - Bob Belcher (Bob's Burgers): In Bob we see the overextended modern dad in all his rumpled glory, just trying to keep his head above water in all aspects of his life.

A father’s influence on their sons is profound. As young men, we look first to our fathers to help lay the foundation for our own future growth. They help us distinguish between right and wrong. They encourage our strengths and nurture our struggles to prepare us for the future.

But fathers aren’t perfect. Sometimes opportunities to teach life lessons or impart simple skills get lost in the chaos of life. And it’s easy to look back with longing and regret at those moments.

The point is to not dwell on mistakes. Rather, it is to learn about what you might want to prioritize as a father. So, what do their kids wish their dads taught them when they were still young. Here are five things they said:

1. How To Be Present

“I wish I had learned from my father the importance of experiencing life, moments, and relationships over working for the dollar. Make your living but be present. Cherish family because time is the one thing you can't get back.”

2. How To Know My Worth

“My father never taught me to be confident in myself. He was abusive and manipulative and I would doubt whether any actions or decisions were the right ones. One thing stands out in my mind is that I must cherish my own children and never make them feel inferior.”

3. How To Fix Things

“My dad was one of those guys who was very mechanically inclined. If I could go back in time to being a kid again, I would have asked my dad to take time to bring me in on some of his repair jobs. It would have given me much needed confidence when working with my hands, which happens a lot as a dad.”

4. How To Care

“My dad wasn't very present during my childhood. He was a traveling businessman and was gone 2-3 weeks of every month. The biggest thing he never showed me was how to care for the people I love.”

5. How To Problem Solve

“My dad was very much a ‘Let me do it’ kind of guy. He wanted to fix the problem rather than help us learn about it. I appreciate what he was trying to do, but I think it hindered my ability to think for myself while I was growing up.”

"I feel like a monster," Gabriel Marshall said to his dad. Eight-year-old Gabriel had recently undergone surgery to remove a tumor from his brain, and he now bore a conspicuous scar on the side of his head. His dad, Josh, had an idea: he got a tattoo on the side of his head that was in the exact shape of Gabriel's scar. He told Gabriel, "If people want to stare at you, then they can stare at both of us."

A picture of the two sporting their scars eventually won first place in a Father's Day photo competition run by St. Baldrick's Foundation, "an organization dedicated to fighting childhood cancer."

Possible Preaching Angle:

In some ways, their story might remind us of another story: about an empathetic Father, a wounded Son, and scars that were chosen because of love.

In a nod to the adage about family life that parenting is the hardest job in the world, most parents (62%) say being a parent has been at least somewhat harder than they expected, with about a quarter (26%) saying it’s been a lot harder. This is especially true of mothers, 30% of whom say being a parent has been a lot harder than they expected (compared with 20% of fathers).

If you’re a young parent, you’re probably used to hearing “Why?” a lot! With that in mind, a new survey finds moms and dads field an average of 11 questions from their young children each day.

A new poll of 2,000 parents of kids under six finds that between being asked “What?” (37%), “When?” (22%), and “Why?” (11%), parents are always on call when their kids get curious.

Children most commonly ask questions to better understand the world around them, such as asking about animals, nature, current events, and home experiences. When asked about the most interesting question their child has ever asked, parents mentioned “Why is the sky so high?” and “Why can fish keep their eyes open in water?”

Children’s questions may be frequent, but they aren’t always easy, as parents admit they can confidently answer an average of only 42% of their child’s questions. Poll results also reveal that 81% of parents learn just as much from their child as their child learns from them. The average parent learns something new from their child about five times per week, and four in five parents are surprised by their child’s knowledge of certain topics.