Faults

Married people average 30 percentage points more happy than unmarried Americans. So, there’s a lot at stake when one swipes left or right. In an article for The Free Press, Rob Henderson lays out a gaggle of unexpected statistics on the self-selective narrowing of the dating pool that cumulatively suggest something bleak. As dating has become hyper-optimized toward one’s desires, it’s had the effect of making relationships harder. His solution? Stop swiping and settle down:

Previous generations didn’t have many options, so they stuck together through hard times and made it work. Now, abundance (or its illusion on dating apps) has led people to feel less satisfied. People are now more anxious about making a choice and less certain that the one they made was correct.

One classic study found that consumers were more likely to buy a jam when they were presented with six flavors compared to 30. And among those who did make a purchase, the people presented with fewer flavors were more satisfied with their choice.

These two factors — demanding more of your partner and understanding that abundance is not always favorable or desirable — should be a lesson that will guide us toward healthier and more fulfilling relationships. Shutting off the dating apps and reducing our choices will actually give us a greater appetite for love.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Of course, this advice makes a whole lot more sense if one understands love to be self-giving for the benefit of another, as opposed to something like self-fulfillment.

The actor Paul Newman was nominated for 10 Academy Awards and won for The Color of Money in 1987. He also received an honorary Oscar in 1986 and the Academy’s Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award in 1994.

But his life was hardly free of disappointment and tragedy. He wrestled with his drinking, a habit he knew was self-destructive but says “unlocked a lot of things I couldn’t have done without it.” And he was shattered when his son, Scott, who had led a drifting life in his father’s shadow and was receiving psychiatric treatment, died in 1978 at the age of 28.

Decades into his singularly successful career as an actor, Paul Newman offered a frank admission. “I am faced with the appalling fact that I don’t know anything,” he said.

Newman was also dogged by self-doubt, perpetually questioning his choices and plagued by past mistakes. “I’m always anxious about admitting to failure,” he said. “To not being good enough, to not being right.” Newman’s lifelong insecurity is one of the more striking themes to emerge from a posthumous memoir by the actor, titled The Extraordinary Life of an Ordinary Man.

After doing an analysis of seven high-profile cases where people died as a result of use of force by police, Washington Post reporters Ashley Parker and Justine McDaniel found a disturbing pattern. They say they found that police consistently gave initial statements that were “misleading, incomplete or wrong, with the first accounts consistently in conflict with the full set of facts once they finally emerged.”

Philip Stinson teaches criminal justice at Bowling Green State University, and says trends like these are not merely coincidental. He said, “The police own the narrative in every interaction they have with the public, because they write up the reports. Sometimes the reports are written to justify the actions the officers have taken, and sometimes to cover up what actually happened.”

In their analysis, Parker and McDaniel found that police accounts “regularly described the victims in terms assuming they were guilty of a crime; and the initial police version frequently used clinical language that seemed to obscure their own role in the incidents.”

According to Lauren Bonds, executive director of the National Police Accountability Project, police often achieve this by employing deliberate use of the passive voice. She said, “When we use passive language in our own lives, usually we’re trying to create some distance from what happened, [as in] it’s ‘the milk fell’ instead of ‘I spilled the milk.’”

According to Stinson, restoring trust with the public will require greater accountability by police departments. “It’s very damaging to the police department because it does damage to their reputation when they put out these press releases and it turns out they’re false.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

Effective leadership requires integrity and truth telling; when those in authority lie, obscure, or exaggerate the truth to protect themselves, they erode their credibility and trustworthiness.

It’s ironic that Grace Community Church, pastored by John MacArthur, is located in Sun Valley, California, because its leadership seems committed to keeping certain details hidden from light.

Christianity Today published a story in February about the struggles Hohn Cho had with getting people in his church to admit fault and correct an injustice. Cho is an attorney, and had been an elder at GCC. A year ago, he and several other elders were tasked with investigating claims of spousal abuse from a woman in the church’s care. What he discovered was that she’d been rebuked by elders for failing to reconcile with her husband, but later the husband was imprisoned for child molestation and abuse, vindicating her claims.

Cho says he repeatedly asked church officials to privately apologize and make things right, but they refused. He says Pastor John MacArthur himself told him to “forget it,” and Cho was eventually pressured into resigning from the board. Even after his resignation, Cho was contacted by numerous other women from GCC who’d been given similar counsel to endure abuse from their husbands. Ultimately, he concluded that he just could not forget it.

Cho wrote in a report to the elder board, “I genuinely believe it would be wrong to do nothing. At the end of the day, I know what I know. I cannot ‘un-know’ it, and I am in fact accountable before God for this knowledge.”

Cho told reporters at CT:

They sided with a child abuser, who turned out to be a child molester, over a mother desperately trying to protect her three innocent young children. And that was and is flatly wrong, and needs to be made right. Numerous elders have admitted in various private conversations that “mistakes were made” and that they would make a different decision today knowing what they know now. But those admissions mean you need to make it right with the person you wronged; that is utterly basic Christianity.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Abuse; Church Discipline; Failure, Spiritual - We can't claim to stand for the truth if we won't tell the truth when it's inconvenient to do so.

According to a report in the Washington Post, the most influential voices in police reform aren’t necessarily politicians or even other police officers. Instead, those most likely to create behavioral changes in policing are municipal insurance agents. As in many other situations, the thing that often ends up getting people’s attention is money. That was the case in St. Ann, Missouri.

After a series of high-profile police chases that resulted in property damage and/or bystander injury, St. Ann was targeted by activists and sued by civilians for how their officers conducted traffic pursuits. But when police chief Aaron Jimenez was unwilling to change his department’s procedures, he faced an ultimatum from insurer which provided liability coverage for the city and its police department. If the department didn’t restrict its officers use of dangerous traffic pursuits, their insurance coverage was going to get canceled. And when city officials looked for other coverage options, it became clear that doing so would double their insurance costs.

Jimenez said in an interview, “I didn’t really have a choice, If I didn’t do it, the insurance rates were going to go way up. I was going to have to lose 10 officers to pay for it.”

Of course, insurance costs for any policy will rise after a series of claims against the policy. When citizens of a jurisdiction are successful in suing their police department for wrongful death, excessive use of force, or other similar claims, the money awarded to the plaintiffs is usually paid by such an insurer. So, ultimatums like this are often the only effective way to hold police agencies accountable for their misbehavior. In such agencies, it’s literally too expensive not to change.

Possible Preaching Angle:

1) Change; Discipline – When we do not respond to God’s warnings by changing our behavior, God will strongly motivate us through his discipline, which can include consequences; 2) Accountability; Finances - As members of society, we should exercise accountability with one another, especially with how we apportion our funds. Finances can speak when other avenues are closed.

In an article by Heather Havrilesky entitled, “Let Your Kids Be Bad at Things,” she ponders on the importance of beautifully terrible children’s recitals.

Parents want their children to succeed, to be good at something they enjoy. But this otherwise noble aim is precisely what leads to an overbearing parent who ruins the fun. This is something Havrilesky learned when her child signed up for a school talent show. She wanted perfection from her daughter, but it was precisely her imperfections that made the talent show so perfect:

On the night of the talent show, I wasn’t thinking about magic. I was bracing myself, as the curtains parted. I felt like a jerk for leading my poor lambs to the slaughter of public humiliation.

But as the first wobbly-voiced performer fumbled with her microphone, a different sort of magic slowly took over. I could see that these were charming flaws I was witnessing — irreplaceable, once-in-a-lifetime sorts of flaws: the distorted microphone squeals in the midst of a breathy Les Misérables ballad, the horn players with their strange alternative Star Wars rhythm. It was actually the non-greatness that made each kid’s performance so memorable and unique.

When my daughter and her friends took to the stage, I could see that was part of what made them so engrossing. These were the details that could break your heart: The girl who is always off beat. The girl who smiles but never sings. The girl who sings but never smiles. The girl who moves in the opposite direction from everyone else, no matter how many times you correct her.

Together, they form a kind of ragged, vulnerable tribute to being 9-years-old, awkwardly poised between very young and too old too soon. Together, they represent how it feels when you’re trying to choose between caring too little and caring too much. I was trying to stay aloof, but tears started pouring out of my eyes and wouldn’t stop. It was a beautifully terrible recital.

Possible Preaching Angle:

This must certainly echo something of what God feels as he values our imperfect service. He knows we are not perfect, yet we are loved. And it is our imperfections that cause us to lean on him for his strength and results (2 Cor. 12:7-9).

On-air announcer Glenn Consor was doing what he’s paid to do at an NBA game: giving off-the-cuff commentary to the events as they unfolded. But this moment would end up being a notorious chapter in his broadcasting career.

Consor is the color analyst for NBC Sports Washington which covers the Washington Wizards. As such, he had a perfect view of Houston Rockets guard Kevin Porter, Jr. as he launched a game-winning three-pointer to defeat the Wizards on their home floor. In the shock of the moment, Consor said the following: “You’ve got to give credit. Kevin Porter Jr., like his dad, pulled that trigger right at the right time.”

Consor made the paternal reference because he assumed the Rockets guard was the son of former Washington Bullets standout Kevin Porter. But he was wrong. The father of the Rockets’ Kevin Porter Jr. did not previously play in the NBA.

However, back in 1993 Porter’s father did plead guilty to first-degree manslaughter in the shooting death of a fourteen-year-old, a conviction for which he spent four-and-a-half years in prison. So many fans were offended at the comment, because it appeared as though Consor was glibly making a double entendre of Porter Jr. and his father’s criminal background.

But Consor meant no such harm. He had no idea that his use of the phrase “pulling the trigger” would be interpreted literally and was mortified when he found out about his mistake. The next day he offered the following apology:

Please allow me to take this opportunity to sincerely apologize to Kevin Porter Jr., his family and the Rockets organization for the comments I made during last night’s game. I mistakenly thought that Kevin was the son of former Washington player Kevin Porter and was unaware that the words I chose to describe his game-winning shot would be in any way hurtful or insensitive. I have reached out Kevin to personally apologize and hope to be able to talk with him soon.

Possible Preaching Angle:

As Christians we are called to own up to our mistakes and ask forgiveness when our words hurt others, even when we mean no harm.

Success is the unrelenting prize of our culture. We will sacrifice whatever we must to avoid feeling the pain of failure. And when we do fail, our society tells us to move on as quickly as possible. But what if there's something to be gleaned from times when we do not succeed.

In the film Bob Ross: Happy Accidents, Betrayal, and Greed, Joshua Rofé describes the unseen parts of Ross' fame. The painter and television personality mesmerized audiences in half hour blocks. Mountains, bushes, and rivers emerge seamlessly before our very eyes. His ideas passed effortlessly from pallet, to brush, to canvas.

But, of course, this fluidity did not imply flawlessness. Often, Ross would extend a stroke too far or lay down a color that did not match with what he had imagined. When this happened, Ross simply labeled the mistake a "happy accident" and adjusted his plan to incorporate the mistake into a masterpiece.

Near the end of the film, Steve Ross gave some insight on this topic:

It's hard to tell people their faults. It’s even harder to admit that you have made a “happy accident.” A lot of times, I've wondered if it's not your mistakes that teach you a lot more than your successes. After success, you just move on to the next thing. But when you make a mistake, or have a “happy accident,” as Bob called it, suddenly you learn all kinds of new ways to correct it. And through that learning process you really start developing in new ways.

A "slip of the tongue" by an air traffic controller at Paris Charles de Gaulle airport saw two planes come within 300 feet of crashing into each other in July, 2020.

A United Airlines flight from Newark, NJ was making its approach to land at the same time that an EasyJet was preparing to take off for Malaga, Spain. The Newark flight was supposed to be assigned to land on runway 09L, as the Malaga flight was cleared to take off from runway 09R.

Due to an unfortunate slip of the tongue, however, the controller gave clearance for Newark to land on 09R, instead of 09L. Furthermore, the controller didn’t have direct line-of-sight access to runway 09R because of an equipment malfunction.

Eventually, the Malaga flight asked why the Newark plane was given clearance to land on their runway, and warned of the imminent collision. The Newark plane was instructed to abort the landing and ascend, but by the time it engaged the evasive maneuver, the two planes were only 300 feet apart.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Even in situations that seem routine, our words still have tremendous power to heal or hurt, build or destroy. Being careless with the tongue is akin to flirting with calamity.

The film Words on Bathroom Walls tells the story of Adam, a witty, introspective teen diagnosed with a mental illness during his senior year of high school. After experiencing a psychotic break at his school, his parents relocate him for a fresh start to St Agatha’s, a private Catholic school. In their first meeting, when the headmaster inquires if he is ready to join St. Agatha’s. Adam answers, "The only person that can’t reject you is Jesus, right?”

As he struggles to keep his illness a secret, Adam asks Father Patrick about the reason for confession. He responds, "Actually, telling someone our sins gives us the opportunity to admit we are flawed . . . Everyone is flawed. But admitting our flaws, that gives us the opportunity and the strength to face them. And that’s why we confess.”

At the end of the film, after discovering his need to depend on others, Adam shares, “As for honesty . . . you have to let people discover all your dark and twisty places inside because those are the people that can show you what's real, when you can’t see that yourself. It can be the beginning of everything, if you let it.”

Queen’s guitarist still plays the guitar made for him by his father. It was the early 1960’s and a teenage Brian May wanted an electric guitar. The relatively new instruments were still quite expensive—hundreds of dollars. Well beyond the means of the family’s budget. Brian’s father Harold was an electrical engineer and a hacker of sorts. Harold proposed the two build an electric guitar from scratch as a father-son project. This was the beginning of a two-year odyssey that resulted in the creation of one of the world’s most famous musical instruments.

They began to work on the guitar in August 1963, with the project taking two years to complete. The neck was constructed from a fireplace mantel that a friend was about to throw away. According to May, there are worm holes in the neck of the guitar that he filled with matchsticks.

The body was made from an old table. White plastic shelf edging was applied to the top and bottom edges to protect them from damage. The tremolo system is made from a bicycle saddlebag holder with a plastic knitting needle tip. Various replica models have been made; however, Brian still insists on playing the original, made for him by his father.

Possible Preaching Angle:

As you look at your life, you may see many things that are wrong, could be better, or broken. You may think that God wouldn’t use you, and would pass you by for a disciple who is far more gifted than you. However, Jesus sees you as precious and unique. He will not pass you by, but waits to make unique music with your life, consecrated to him. So, what are you waiting for?

In an interview, Alain de Botton, a famous British atheist, said, "I love the concept of original sin, the idea that we're all fundamentally broken and fundamentally incomplete." When asked why de Botton explained:

Because [original sin] seems to be such a useful starting point … Imagine a relationship in which two people think they're great—you know, perfect—that's going to lead to intolerance and terrible disappointment when they realize that they're not … perfect. Whereas imagine a relationship that begins under the idea that two people are quite broken and therefore they need forgiveness …

When asked to define "broken" he replied:

By broken I mean "not quite right" … So that's why the concept of original sin seems so plausible and applicable and also kind, because it basically says, "Look, when you meet someone new … just assume that something major has gone wrong here." Treat everybody you meet as though they were laboring under some really big problem, basically. That's the starting point of any encounter.

On January 24, 1975, the world-renowned pianist Keith Jarrett played in front of a live audience in the Cologne opera house. The album for the concert recording was released in the autumn of 1975 to critical acclaim, and went on to become the best-selling solo album in jazz history, and the all-time best-selling piano album.

But all of this didn't come easy. Jarrett had originally requested the use of a Bösendorfer 290 Imperial concert grand piano for the performance. But there was some confusion by the opera house staff and instead they found another Bösendorfer piano backstage—a much smaller baby grand used for rehearsals—and placed it on the stage. According Vera Brandes, the concert's organizer, the substitute piano was "was completely out of tune, the black notes in the middle didn't work, the pedals stuck. It was unplayable." "Keith played a few notes," recalls Brandes. "Then [Jarrett's producer] played a few notes. They didn't say anything. They circled the instrument several times and then tried a few keys. Then after a long silence, [the producer] came to me and said, 'If you don't get another piano, Keith can't play tonight.'"

Despite the obstacles, Jarrett decided to go ahead with the concert. The minute he played the first note, everybody knew it was magic. The audience hushed into awed silence. That night's performance began with a simple chiming series of notes, then quickly gained complexity. Standing up, sitting down, moaning, writhing, Jarrett didn't hold back in any way as he pummeled the unplayable piano to produce something unique. One music critic noted, "Mr. Jarrett turned the banal and familiar into something gorgeous and mysterious."

There is a Japanese word, kintsukuroi, that means "golden repair." It is the art of restoring broken pottery with gold so the fractures are literally illuminated—a kind of physical expression of its spirit. As a philosophy, kintsukuroi celebrates imperfection as an integral part of the story, not something to be disguised. The artists believe that when something has suffered damage and has a history, it becomes more beautiful.

In kintsukuroi, the true life of an object (or a person) begins the moment it breaks and reveals that it is vulnerable. The gap between once pristine appearance and its visible imperfection deepens its appeal.

Possible Preaching Angles: (1) Christ, power and grace of—Jesus is the ultimate Kintsukuroi artist. He takes our broken lives and makes them new. (2) Suffering—We probably shouldn't take this idea of beautiful brokenness as a symbol of how suffering makes us better. In the face of serious life damage, some tragedies are not "for the better" but are just that: tragedies, for the worse, which we would have been better off without. But kintsukuroi nevertheless remains a wonderful illustration for the Christian life, which holds symbols of both life and death in one ruddy old jug.

A scan through the statements of President Abraham Lincoln reveals a man who underwent some very dark days. Consider, at the start of the War Between the States, Lincoln was resolute and visionary. "The mystic chords of memory," he announced in his inaugural address on March 4, 1861, "stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave, to every living heart and hearthstone, all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union." A little over a year into the war, on June 28, 1862, his rhetoric was tempered but still firm and uncompromising: "I expect to maintain this contest until successful, or till I die, or am conquered."

And then the true darkness began to fall. After a devastating defeat at Manassas in Virginia, Lincoln began first to worry, and then to doubt his cause: "Well, we are whipped again, I am afraid," he moaned. "What shall we do? The bottom is out of the tub, the bottom is out of the tub!" (August 1862). The next months and years for Lincoln were lived in near-constant, faith-shaking darkness and despair: "If there is a worse place than Hell, I am in it" (December1862, after defeat at Fredericksburg). "My God! My God! What will the country say?" (May 1863, after defeat at Chancellorsville). "This war is eating my life out. I have a strong impression that I shall not live to see the end" (1864).

And then, in the darkness a flicker of hope burst into flame. Union victories began turning the tide of the Civil War, and we can see Lincoln's spirits lift. Once again his rhetoric begins to soar, to reach resolutely toward his vision of one United States of America. In March 1865, about a month before Lee's surrender, Lincoln is able to regather his faith and speak, "With malice toward none; with charity for all; with firmness in the right [as God gives], let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to bind up the nation's wounds … " (Second Inaugural Address, March 4, 1865). And finally, less than two weeks before his death, President Lincoln proclaimed the end of his trials: "Thank God I have lived to see this. It seems to me that I have been dreaming a horrid dream for four years, and now the nightmare is gone" (April 3, 1865).

We all have failures in our careers. But usually we keep quiet about it. Not this Princeton professor, who recently shared his CV of failures on Twitter for the world to see. It includes sections titled "Degree programs I did not get into," "Research funding I did not get" and "Paper rejections from academic journals."

Why did he do it? "Most of what I try fails, but these failures are often invisible, while the successes are visible. I have noticed that this sometimes gives others the impression that most things work out for me," Princeton assistant professor of psychology and public affairs Johannes Haushofer wrote on the CV.

Projecting only success and never recognizing failure has damaging effects, Haushofer wrote. So he decided to do something about it. "[People] are more likely to attribute their own failures to themselves, rather than the fact that the world is stochastic, applications are crapshoots, and selection committees and referees have bad days. This CV of Failures is an attempt to balance the record and provide some perspective," he said. But here's what Haushofer called his "meta-failure": "This darn CV of Failures," he wrote, "has received way more attention than my entire body of academic work."

Possible Preaching Angles: (1) Though we often fail, we can rise up again because of God's forgiveness; (2) God will lift up all those who humble themselves, but the proud he rejects

What's your biggest regret in life? If it's anything like these random New Yorkers, it has one very important word in it. Students from Strayer University set up a chalkboard on the sidewalk near Lieutenant Petrosino Square in New York City for one day. At the top of the board was written, "Write your biggest regret." They provided a supply of colored chalk and set up a video camera to record people writing on the board.

The chalkboard attracted many people walking by and was soon filled to overflowing with written regrets that were poignant and thought-provoking.

• Burning bridges
• Never speaking up
• Not being a good husband
• Should have spent more time with family
• Staying in my comfort zone
• Not saying "I love you"
• Never applying to med school
• Not making the most of every day
• Not being a better friend

As the board filled up with so many different stories, they noticed that almost all of these regrets had one thing in common. Nearly all of them involved the word "not." They were about chances not taken. They were about words not spoken. They were about dreams never pursued.

But then they gave these same people an eraser and wrote "Clean Slate" at the top of the chalkboard. As she erased her regret one young woman had tears in her eyes as she said, "I feel hopeful. It means that there are possibilities."

Possible Preaching Angles: (1) Christ, cross of; Christ, death of—In and through Christ we do have a clean slate. All of our sins and regrets have been washed away. (2) Regret; Failure. People you meet every day carry a weight of regrets normally hidden below the surface of their lives. They need to hear that they can find freedom in Christ.

Editor's Note: Watch the video here.

Sally Smith, the president and former CEO of the wildly popular Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant chain, was asked, "What are some things you've learned about leading and managing people?" She replied:

I'm always seeking feedback. My leadership team does a performance review on me each year for the board. It's anonymous. They can talk about my management style or things I need to work on. If you want to continue growing, you have to be willing to say, "What do I need to get better at?"

That's how I learn. That's how I get better. Getting feedback [as a leader] is really tough. You may be able to find a couple of people in the company who will give you honest feedback. Before we even did performance reviews, I used to go to [one of our key leaders] and say, "I want you to write down four things that I need to work on next year."

The city of Ann Arbor, Michigan, is home to one of the most fascinating museums on the planet. The facility run by GfK Custom Research goes under the informal name of the "Museum of Failed Products." At first sight, the shelves and aisles look just like a supermarket—except there's only one of each item. And you won't find these items in a real supermarket anyway: they are failures, products withdrawn from sale after a few weeks or months, because almost nobody wanted to buy them.

This is consumer capitalism's graveyard. It's the only place on the planet where you'll find Clairol's A Touch of Yogurt shampoo alongside Gillette's equally unpopular For Oily Hair Only, a few feet from a now-empty bottle of Pepsi AM Breakfast Cola (born 1989; died 1990). The museum is home to discontinued brands of caffeinated beer; to TV dinners branded with the logo of the toothpaste manufacturer Colgate; to Fortune Snookies, a short-lived line of fortune cookies for dogs; to self-heating soup cans that had a tendency to explode in customers' faces; and to packets of breath mints that had to be withdrawn from sale because they looked like tiny packages of crack cocaine. It is where microwaveable scrambled eggs—pre-scrambled and sold in a cardboard tube with a pop-up mechanism for easier consumption in the car—go to die.

If the museum has a central message, it's that failure isn't a rarity; it's the norm. For every insanely successful product such as the iPhone or the Big Mac, there's a whole host of ideas that only a mother could truly love. According to some estimates, the failure rate for new products is as high as 90 percent.

Given the ubiquity of failure, business expert Matt Symonds advises that we should help people "fail, fail again, fail better" rather than "filling [people's] heads with the unrealistic notions of winning every time."

Bonnie Ware, an Australian nurse, has spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. As Ware walked with her patients through the final stages of their lives, she witnessed how many of her patients gained "phenomenal clarity of vision" as they approached death. Ware claims, "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again." According to Ware, these are the top five regrets of the dying:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. Bonnie Ware added, "Health brings a freedom few realize, until they no longer have it."
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard. Ware observed, "This [regret] came from every male patient that I nursed."
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. "Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others …. Many [patients] developed illnesses related to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."
4. I wish I'd stayed in touch with my friends. "There are many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."
5. I wish I'd let myself be happier. "Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits."