Fellowship with Christ

You are in a coffee shop, meeting with a friend over steaming lattes. While you are talking, your conversation partner seems engaged: They hold your gaze, smile at the funny parts, and nod warmly. You think they are a good listener, and you are excited to see them again soon. However, were they really listening? If you probed their mind during the conversation, what were they actually attending to and thinking about? Were they really listening attentively, or just creating the impression of good listening?

According to one recent study, we our attention wanders about 25% of the time. The researchers concluded:

“Speakers consistently overestimated their conversation partners’ attentiveness—often believing their partners were listening when they were not. Our results suggest this overestimation is (at least partly) due to the largely indistinguishable behavior of inattentive and attentive listeners. It appears that people can (and do) divide their attention during conversation and successfully feign attentiveness.”

Possible Preaching Angles: (1) Listening to others—paying attention. (2) Listening to God—how often does our mind wander in our prayer life? (3) God listening to us—he never fails to hear us.

Hidden acoustic wonders called “whispering walls” have awed listeners since ancient times. The field of “archaeo-acoustics” studies the way sound and archaeological sites interact. Cathedrals and capital domes have been noted for the way they capture and amplify sound. A whispering gallery is usually a circular, hemispherical, or elliptical enclosure, often beneath a dome or a vault, in which whispers can be heard clearly in other parts of the gallery.

A whispering gallery allows whispered communication from one part of the internal side of the circumference to another specific part. The sound is carried by waves, known as whispering-gallery waves, that travel around the circumference clinging to the walls. This effect has been discovered in the whispering gallery of St Paul's Cathedral in London, the Statuary Hall in the U.S. Capitol, and Grand Central Station in New York, among others.

When a visitor stands at one focus the sound waves carry the words so that others will be able to hear the whispers from the opposite side of the gallery. Even when the room is filled with many people talking, the whisper can be heard, but only by standing in exactly the right location, others in the room won’t hear the whisper at all.

Possible Preaching Angle:

It is possible to hear the slightest whisper spoken in a massive room filled with people, but only when you stand in just the right place. In the same way, in a noisy, bustling world, it is possible to hear the “whisper” of God (1 Kings 19:12), but only if we are standing in the right place of obedience, readiness, and quiet waiting.

Ruben Roy is a managing director at Stifel Financial. He dialed in to hear the chief executive of a healthcare company discuss its latest results. During the Q&A, Roy asked the speaker to elaborate on his remarks by saying, “I wanted to double-click a bit on some of the commentary you had.”

“Double-click” is one of the fastest-spreading corporate buzzwords in recent years. As a figure of speech, it is now being used as a shorthand for examining something more fully, akin to double-clicking to see a computer folder’s contents. Some say “the phrase encourages deeper thinking.”

Reuben Linder, owner of a small video production business, says, “These days, with the rise of technology and a more hectic corporate life, people need reminders to stop and examine what matters—to double-click, if you will. The term is simple, but it’s really profound.”

Reuben tries to carve out time to go to a café twice monthly with a notebook and engage in reflection. “I’ll double-click on my business, double-click on my life” he says. “I double-click on everything now.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

In our daily lives as believers, we might apply this idea to things such as obedience, love for God, Bible reading, and prayer. Double-clicking on these things is needed now as much as any time in history.

There’s a particular trend that has come to dominate videos on social media. It’s called “retention editing,” because of its ability to keep users visually engaged, and it’s typified by quick pacing, loud sound effects, and cutting the natural pauses that typify live speech. With the rise of short-form video on apps like YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram, the style is everywhere.

Dara Pesheva is a teenager who moonlights as a video editor for content creators. “Every clip should be under two seconds,” says Pesheva, who says that flashing graphics, subtitles, and movement are staples in the average user’s video diet. Noah Kettle of Moke Media Company, refers to this as the “Beastification of YouTube,” referring to influencer superstar Jimmy Donaldson, known on his channel as “MrBeast.”

MrBeast uses a similar style, punctuated by ambitious action sequences, and with over 250 million subscribers, his aesthetic choices have a huge trickle-down effect as many other users copy it hoping for similar success.

“It’s designed to be addictive,” says David McNamee, who heads a social media brand agency. “It’s like a slot machine with bells and whistles that are keeping you entertained because the [video] is so bright and it’s loud. It doesn’t matter what the content is, because your brain is being told this is entertaining because it’s flashy.”

But even MrBeast is now having second thoughts. On X he tweeted out a plea: “get rid of the ultra-fast paced/overstim era of content.” His most recent videos have trended toward better storytelling, yelling less, and letting scenes breathe more. Though these have resulted in longer videos, his views have only increased.

Pesheva says retention editing is problematic long-term because of its prolonged impact on the end user. “People around my age can’t focus. They have very short attention spans. They’re used to TikTok, and so editors have to adjust for Gen Z. They have to adjust to the fact that people can’t keep their attention on something for more than a second if it’s not entertaining.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

In this frantic world of information overload competing for our attention, it is crucial to learn to slow down and take time to evaluate and absorb the information we are consuming. This is especially true in our reading and meditating on the Word of God.

In his autobiographical novel, Everything Sad is Untrue, Daniel Nayeri describes fleeing from Iran as a boy to escape persecution for his Christian faith. At one point, he asks the reader a question:

Would you rather have a God who listens or a god who speaks? Be careful of the answer … There are gods all over the world who just want you to express yourself. At their worst, the people who want a god who listens are self-centered. They just want to live in the land of “do as you please.” And the ones who want a god who speaks are cruel. They just want law and justice to crush everything …. Love is empty without justice. Justice is cruel without love. Oh, and in case it wasn’t obvious the answer is both. God should be both.

Time and again, Jesus proves to be a God who listens. People seek him out by the thousands—but he never refuses a conversation. The only time Jesus ever silences anyone, saying, quite literally, “Be quiet!” it’s a demon (Luke 4:35). Other than that, he’s willing to give anyone the time of day. Blind Bartimaeus shouts to him on a crowded road. While others scold him to keep quiet, Jesus beckons him over and gives Bartimaeus the floor. “What do you want me to do for you?” he asks …. Whatever the blind man had to say, Jesus was all ears.

He’s not just a sounding board, though. Jesus has something to say. Words are the very tools Jesus uses to bring forth his plans …. When his friend is dead and lying in his tomb and Jesus says, “Lazarus, come out!” and the dead man comes out …. In other words, when Jesus speaks things happen.

Jesus is a God who listens and a God who speaks, a God who simply enjoys talking with people. He doesn’t mind being inconvenienced. He’s willing to seek out those who differ with him …. because he is a God who knows, a God to whom all hearts are open and no secrets hid.

The fact that Jesus is the kind of God who wants to be in a personal relationship with us is remarkable compared to the false gods who either speak from on high or listen to us with blank stares .… The Christian faith reveals that we have more than just words, but the Word made flesh.

Cameron Perrin, a 26-year-old software engineer, talks about his experience with the productivity hack known as "monk mode:"

As a person who can easily fall into procrastination and a lack of focus, I found myself constantly struggling to achieve my goals — and I couldn't afford to be so distracted. Every workday, I would start strong but would soon get derailed by scrolling social media, reading articles, or just aimlessly browsing the Internet. By the time I caught myself, my train of thought would be gone and I'd have to spend five minutes just figuring out where I left off.

Then I came across an article about "monk mode," which is a method for giving your full attention to whatever you are working on for a set period of time. (The article describes “monk mode” as adopting the isolation and self-discipline practices of monks).

I began by committing to two-hour blocks of monk mode at a time. I eliminated as many distractions as I could. I turned off my phone notifications and blocked social-media sites on my laptop since I knew I was spending way too much time on these activities. I calculated I was (wasting) one to two hours a day. And when factoring in the time it would take to refocus and pick up where I left off, it was roughly three hours of time wasted.

To help maximize my results with the technique, I created a strict routine. The night before each workday, I made a list of the tasks I needed to accomplish the next day and set a time frame for how long I would commit to “monk mode.” Then I woke up at 5 a.m., had coffee, read my Bible, and then entered “monk mode” to begin tackling that list.

“Monk mode” changed my life by showing me how powerful my time really is when I'm disciplined and sticking to a routine. By eliminating distractions, I was able to dramatically increase my work productivity and truly enjoy my downtime.

Possible Preaching Angle:

This technique is not only important for a career, but it can also apply to our spiritual life. Distractions can easily divert us when we are trying to read the Bible and pray. Intentionally isolating ourselves from the phone, internet, social media, and other interruptions can help us focus and enhance our time with God.

Sometimes, all it takes is a minor inconvenience to ruin your whole day. It has been revealed that the most stressful time of the day is 7:23am. On average people will experience three dramas each day, with the first drama of the day typically happening by around 8:18am. These stressful situations could be anything from being stuck in traffic or waking up late, to spilling things on clothing, and tripping in public which are also likely to make people feel foul.

The research found that tiredness, an interrupted night's sleep, and a busy day at work were among the top causes of such dramas. Zuzana Bustikova, a spokesperson for a wellbeing brand, said: "Often when we think 'drama' we think big, but the research shows how much of an impact seemingly small niggles can have on our daily moods.”

According to the survey, the following are some of the top everyday “dramas” adults experience:

• Getting stuck in traffic
• Spilling something down clothing (food, drink, make-up, toothpaste)
• Waking up late and being late for work
• Struggling to find a parking space
• Forgetting bags at the supermarket
• Public transport being cancelled
• Sending a text message to the wrong person
• Checking your bank balance and having less money than you expected
• Clothes you want to wear being in the wash
• Realizing an email you thought you’d sent is in your “drafts”

Possible Preaching Angle:

Taking small steps to build our emotional resilience, even on those difficult days, can make a huge difference in helping us live life to the fullest. For a Christian these small steps can include having a regular quiet time with God every morning. This will center our thoughts on him and give us resources to meet life’s frustrations and stresses that are inevitable each day.

Claire Diaz-Ortiz was born and raised in Berkeley, California, a town famous for its leftist political history. She was eager to find people who shared her faith, but her small Presbyterian church seemed to lose members every Sunday.

But I had (church) camp. Every summer my parents shipped me off to Westminster Woods among the redwoods of Northern California. Those weeks of music and fellowship kept me grounded in faith.

For several years at camp, I had learned about what it would mean to accept Christ into my heart. I had heard, but I hadn’t been ready. Until the summer I was 12. One night, wondering what it would mean if no God existed at all, I made my decision. A simple solo prayer on the steps of my cabin sealed the deal.

For the next dozen years, Claire’s faith rose and fell. Some years she felt connected to God. Other years she just went through the motions. She continued going to church and attended a small group Bible study, but Claire said, “I still wasn’t all in.”

She and a friend spent 2006 traveling the world. They visited 19 countries in Asia, Africa, and Europe, including climbing to Everest Base Camp. There altitude sickness struck her and she had to descend to a lower altitude to regain clear-headedness. But that didn’t stop Claire and her friend from attempting to climb Mount Kenya, the second-highest peak in Africa.

In Nairobi they decided to move on to a guesthouse near the base of the mount which was cheap and owned by a nearby orphanage. The next morning, Claire was surprised to see that the orphanage had sent a bus, their only vehicle, on the eight-hour journey to bring them to the guesthouse.

When we arrived, we were told that the elders had invited us to lunch. It was in the middle of lunch that life as I knew it changed. I had felt the stirring of something I couldn’t explain. I asked to use the restroom.

Looking into the bathroom mirror, I asked God to come into my life and heart again, as I had done all those years before. Then I went further, asking him a question: “If you put this orphanage in our road for a reason, will you open my eyes so I can see the way forward?” In that Kenyan bathroom, all the power of God’s presence entered my heart, telling me to trust. An hour after that, I began to believe that God was telling me to stay at the orphanage.

That moment at the bathroom mirror set my life on an entirely new path—one that led to starting a nonprofit (Hope Runs) and joining a then-tiny startup called Twitter. By sending my first tweets from that orphanage in Kenya, I placed myself early on at the nexus of Twitter. In 2009, when Twitter cofounder Biz Stone offered me a spot at the company, I leaped.

Throughout it all, I have often thought back on that moment in the orphanage bathroom. The moment I became the Christian I was born to be. The moment where I fell, headlong. All in.

Editor’s Note: Claire Diaz-Ortiz is an author, speaker and Silicon Valley innovator who was an early employee at Twitter. She was named one of the 100 Most Creative People in Business by Fast Company.

Author and YouTube video producer Kim Tate shares her story of finding an intimate relationship with her Abba Father in heaven.

It’s one of my most vivid memories as a girl: sitting on the edge of my bed, face angled toward the window, eyes peeled for my daddy. My heart would race as a new set of headlights approached—maybe that’s him—before sinking as the car passed into the distance. Still, I’d hold on to hope. From the time my parents divorced—I was four—I looked forward to these planned outings with my dad.

Where is he? Did he forget about me? Daddy was always out and about. All I could do was wait, even as daylight turned to dusk and dusk to night. Tears would gather as I realized he wasn’t coming. Again. More than once I thought, I must not really matter. He must not really love me. I was longing for a relationship with my father.

Kim lost her virginity before she turned 16. This brought feelings of shame, because her mother had always preached abstinence until marriage. After that summer, she decided to abstain, but without God she was a slave to sin. So, during college and law school she gave in to living life on her own terms.

During her second year at law school, she fell in love with a fellow student named Bill. After graduating, they moved to Madison to start their careers. But Kim was miserable, so she had a strange idea, “I could pray and maybe God would miraculously intervene to get us out of Madison.”

As I prayed, I started thinking, If I want God to do something for me, I should probably do something for him. Like go to church. Before long I felt convicted about our “living in sin.” So, Bill and I decided to have a private wedding ceremony on Valentine’s Day.

About one year later, Bill couldn’t wait to tell me he’d visited a new church that morning. The following Sunday, we visited together. By the end of service, I was in tears. For the first time, I heard the true gospel preached, and it rocked me. Finally, I understood why Jesus died on that cross. Finally, I saw myself as God saw me—a sinner in need of redemption. I asked God to forgive me, and I received Jesus as my Lord and Savior. For all my prayers that God would save me from Madison, his plan, all along, had been to save me in Madison.

Looking back now, from a distance of 25 years, I remember how studying the Book of Deuteronomy was a pivotal part of my early Christian walk. One word, in particular, jumped off the page. Deuteronomy 10:20 and 13:4 mention “holding fast”—or clinging, as some translations have it—to God. It meant relationship—close relationship. Yet it was hard to fathom. The God of the universe would let me cling to him?

What an unsurpassable gift for that little girl staring out of the window, waiting for her dad, and wondering if she really mattered. My Abba Father was letting me know that I could enjoy an intimate relationship with him forever.

Rob Kenney’s YouTube channel, “Dad, how do I?” went viral last year. Kenney released his first video shortly after the coronavirus pandemic was declared. He wanted to provide practical advice (“How to fix most running toilets”) and emotional support (“I am proud of you!”). But in a time defined by isolation and loneliness, his messages resonated with far more than the 30 or 40 subscribers he expected. Now he surpassed 3.4 million subscribers and 15 million views.

When “Good Morning America” referred to the 57-year-old as the “Internet’s Dad,” followers flooded him with stories about their parents, broken relationships, and traumatic experiences. Kenney said, “It breaks my heart that so many people need my channel.”

The seeds for his videos were planted in Kenney’s tumultuous childhood. When his parents divorced, his dad gained custody. His mom was legally declared unfit to parent as she turned to alcohol. Soon after, Kenney’s dad met another woman. On the weekend, he would stock up his kids with groceries and then leave them as he drove an hour away. After a year, he gathered his children to deliver a devastating message: “I’m done raising kids.”

Kenney, who was 14 at the time, moved in with his 23-year-old newlywed brother in a 280-square-foot trailer. His teenage experience was full of anger, sorrow, and confusion as he vowed to never cause his own children such pain. That pledge broadened when he realized he wasn’t the only kid without a dad around, so he doubled-down and decided he’d also help anyone else who needed a father figure.

Once Kenney reached his early 50s, feeling like he had accomplished his goal of raising two good adults. He thought he had plenty more life to live, zeroing in on the second part of his vow: to help others. His daughter says “I genuinely think he was put on Earth to be a dad.”

Over the past year, Kenney has leaned on his faith to prevent himself from feeling too overwhelmed. His early-morning habit of reading the Bible provides him with calmness and clarity. Last Father’s Day, his followers mailed him scores of cards (some handmade, many heartfelt). The fact that strangers are celebrating him at all reflects a man who found time to share his story—and a world that was desperate to hear it.

You can view his YouTube channel here.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Ultimately, our Father in heaven provides just what lonely and desperate people need to hear: He knows us individually and personally (Ps. 139:1-24), he is available 24/7 for fellowship (Matt. 6:9; 1 John 1:3), he carries our burdens (1 Pet. 5:7), and he satisfies every need we have (Ps. 23:1-6).

The pandemic has done a lot of strange things to the global economy over the last 14 months, from creating a massive shortage of semiconductor chips to a ballooning supply of hand sanitizer.

The US housing market has gone haywire too, as urbanites took advantage of remote work to leave expensive cities and resettle in smaller towns across the US. But it's not all that simple. Glenn Kelman, the chief executive of Redfin, broke down some of his observations of just how unusual the current US housing market is in a Tuesday Twitter thread:

Inventory is down 37% year over year to a record low. The typical home sells in 17 days, a record low. Home prices are up a record amount, 24% year over year, to a record high. And still homes sell on average for 1.7% higher than the asking price, another record.

It has been hard to convey how bizarre the US housing market has become. For example, a Bethesda, Maryland homebuyer included in her written offer a pledge to name her first-born child after the seller. She lost.

Possible Preaching Angle:

God’s people have no such worry. We have a guaranteed home in heaven, personally prepared by Christ, reserved in heaven for us. And, we should mention, it is fully paid for.

What’s the name of the tallest mountain in the world? The answer may surprise you. Most people would answer, Mount Everest, but actually it is Mauna Kea, on the island of Hawaii. The inactive volcano is a modest 13,799 feet above sea level, but when measured from the seabed to its summit, it is 33,465 feet high--about three-quarters of a mile taller than Mount Everest.

As far as mountains are concerned, the current convention is that “highest” means measured from sea level to summit; “tallest” means measured from the bottom of the mountain to the top. So, while Mount Everest, at 29,029 feet is the highest mountain in the world, it is not the tallest. Measuring mountains is trickier than it looks. It’s easy enough to see where the top is, but where exactly is the “bottom” of a mountain?

Possible Preaching Angle:

For the Christian, the important thing is not what others see, but the depth of our walk with God. We have a hidden history with God. We must have foundations. It is the hidden prayer life, growth in faith, obedient service, and who you are when no one's looking.

You know him as the smart, nerdy dude from Jurassic Park and Independence Day. But if things had turned out differently, Hollywood actor Jeff Goldblum might have added another role to his long list of credits: the voice of Siri.

Speaking on the Today Show in Australia, Goldblum revealed that Apple's late cofounder Steve Jobs once offered him the opportunity to do some voiceover work. Goldblum said, "Steve Jobs called me up a few decades ago to be the voice of Apple. That was early on, and I did not know it was Steve Jobs." Sadly, the collaboration never came to pass. A Georgia-based voiceover actress named Susan Bennett went on to become the first voice of Siri.

Possible Preaching Angle:

As a young boy, Samuel heard the voice of God in the night calling him. On the third hearing, he obeyed. Elijah heard the voice of God, not in the whirlwind earthquake or fire, but in a gentle whisper. Moses heard God’s voice in a burning bush. Are you careful to listen to the still small voice of God as he invites you to follow and obey?

In a book titled Faith For Exiles, David Kinnaman and Mark Matlock looked at what separates young people who grew up in church and remain actively engaged in their faith and those that are no longer committed to core Christian beliefs and behaviors.

One thing they noticed is that “resilient disciples,” their name for the ones who stayed committed to core principles of the faith, experience far greater joy and intimacy with Jesus.

Compared to those that simply attend church, “resilient disciples” are far more likely to say that their relationship with Jesus brings them joy (90% vs. 48%), shapes their whole life in body, mind, heart, and soul (88% vs. 51%), and impacts the way they live every day (86% vs. 49%).

They also have a richer prayer life. Resilient disciples are more likely to say that time with Jesus reenergizes their life (87% vs. 46%), reading the Bible makes them feel closer to God (87% vs. 44%), listening to God is a big part of their prayer life (78% vs. 48%), and prayer does not feel like a chore but a vibrant part of their life (64% vs. 39%).

In his book, Faith That Endures, Ronald Boyd-MacMillan tells the story of a number of conversations he has had with Wang Mingdao, one of China's most famous church pastors of the last century. The first time he met this famous—and persecuted—Chinese pastor, they had the following interchange:

"Young man, how do you walk with God?” I listed off a set of disciplines such as Bible study and prayer, to which he mischievously retorted, “Wrong answer. To walk with God, you must go at walking pace."

The words of Wang Mingdao touched me to the core. How can I talk about the Christian life as walking with God when I so often live it at a sprint? Of course, we "run with perseverance the race marked out for us," but we may fail to run with "our eyes [fixed] on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith" (Heb 12:1-2). Jesus is inviting me to walk with him. Too often, I find myself running for him. There's a difference!

On another visit, Boyd-MacMillan asked Wang Mingdao about his twenty-year imprisonment for proclaiming Jesus in China. That cell became a place of unchosen unhurried time for Mingdao. There was nothing to do but to be in God's presence, which he discovered was actually everything. Boyd-MacMillan summarizes what he learned from Wang Mingdao:

One of the keys to the faith of the suffering church: God does things slowly. He works with the heart. We are too quick. We have so much to do—so much in fact we never really commune with God as he intended when he created Eden, the perfect fellowship garden. For Wang Mingdao, persecution, or the cell in which he found himself, was the place where he returned to "walking pace," slowing down, stilling himself enough to commune properly with God.

Florencia Rastelli was mortified. As she wiped the counter at the cafe where she works, she knocked over a glass and it shattered loudly on the floor. The customers all stood still, petrified, Ms. Rastelli recalled. “I was like: Of all days, this one,” she said. “Even a police officer popped in and asked me to keep it down. I was so embarrassed.”

The people of Cremona, Italy, are unusually sensitive to noise right now. The police have cordoned off streets in the bustling city center and traffic has been diverted. The city’s mayor implored Cremona’s citizens to avoid any sudden and unnecessary sounds.

Cremona is home to the workshops of some of the world’s finest instrument makers, including Antonio Stradivari, who produced some of the finest violins and cellos ever made. The city is getting behind an ambitious project to digitally record the sounds of the Stradivarius instruments for posterity. And that means being quiet.

So that future generations won’t miss out on hearing the instruments, sound engineers are producing the “Stradivarius Sound Bank”—a database storing all the possible tones that the instruments can produce.

The engineers thought their project was finally ready to get underway. But a soundcheck revealed a major flaw. The sound of a car engine, or a woman walking in high heels, produced vibrations that ran underground and reverberated in the microphones, making the recording worthless.

The police cordoned off the streets. The auditorium’s ventilation was turned off. Every light bulb in the concert hall was unscrewed to eliminate a faint buzzing sound. The violist played a C-major scale as the recording team watched their screens responding to the crisp sound of the instrument.

Then it happened, and they froze. “Stop for a moment, please,” the sound engineer said. They rewound the recording, and played it again. The technician heard the problem, loud and clear: “Who dropped a glass on the floor?”

Possible Preaching Angles:

1) Bible; Scripture; Word of God – The Bible accurately records the very words of God so that we can hear his voice generations after he has spoken; 2) Meditation; Silence; Fellowship with God - In order to meditate on Scripture and to fellowship with God we must silence the constant noise around us and focus on him.

In 2013, Netflix ventured into new television territory by releasing all 13 episodes of their new show “House of Cards.” Even Netflix was shocked by how many viewers watched multiple episodes in one sitting. Although “House of Cards” was 13 hours long, Netflix reported that thousands of viewers consumed the entire series in one gulp over the weekend of its release. A later Netflix poll of TV streamers found that 61 percent defined their viewing style as watching two to six episodes at a time.

Grant McCracken, an anthropologist paid by Netflix to investigate (and promote) the habit, reported that “TV viewers are no longer zoning out as a way to forget about their day, they are tuning in, on their own schedule, to a different world. Getting immersed in multiple episodes or even multiple seasons of a show over a few weeks is a new kind of escapism that is especially welcome to today.”

This new habit of viewing TV morphed into a new word—binge-viewing. The word became widely used in 2013 after Netflix begin releasing their full seasons at once. It even prompted the Oxford Dictionary to add it to the language and also shortlisted as the Word of the Year. (The final Word of the Year for 2013 was “selfie.”)

Possible Preaching Angles:

Notice the phrases used to describe this practice (or spiritual discipline) of watching TV—“tuning in … to a different world” and “Getting immersed in multiple episodes.” That is how we should be able to describe our life of prayer, worship, and paying attention to God.

Julie Canlis writes in “The Bible’s Best Description of Salvation Is a Phrase We Rarely Use”:

Years ago during graduate studies at Regent College, I had a desperate talk with Eugene Peterson about how my PhD had turned the words of God into a great, big research project. I was trying to read my lifeless Bible, but I was interrupted 1,000 times by children needing to be fed, changed, read to, and more. I begged him to give me a spiritual discipline, some rope to haul me out of the hole I was in.

“Well, Julie,” he said, “is there anything you are doing in a disciplined manner already?”

I thought about my newborn daughter, Iona, and the hours that I spent nailed to our couch feeding her. She had reflux, and most of what went into her immediately came up again, which meant that I had to repeat the feed all over again. “Nursing Iona is the only thing I can count on,” I said. “She makes sure of that.”

He patted my hand, then, like a parent consoling a dissatisfied child who is not content with their lot in life. “Julie, that is your spiritual discipline. Now start paying attention to what you are already doing. Be present.”

In that moment and so many others like it, I was weakened by a very common and insidious temptation: I wanted to be for Christ instead of being in Christ. I saw my familial responsibilities as obstacles to a godly life when in fact they were the very place he wanted to meet me. Accordingly, I had to radically revise my view of obedience to include the simple act of abiding in Christ.

Dr. Jeffrey Hall, a communications professor at the University of Kansas, published research about the relationship between time invested in a friendship and friendship closeness. In general, Hall found that it took 40-60 hours to form a casual friendship. Moving from casual friend to friend required between 80-100 hours, and moving from friend to good/best friend took between 160-200 hours. Time spent together was a key predictor of friendship closeness, but the type of activity mattered as well. For example, more time spent at work or in class together actually predicted lower closeness, but more time spent hanging out without an agenda predicted higher closeness.

The kind of talk friends engaged was also important. Small talk (about things like pets, sports, current events, TV/music/movies) predicted lower closeness over time. But striving talk (which Hall defined as “catching up by talking about events that have occurred since you last saw each other,” “Talking about what’s up/what happened to you during the day,” “Serious conversation where both of you are involved in the conversation,” “Playful talk to have fun or release tension,” or “Talking in ways that express love and give attention and affection”) predicted greater closeness.

Possible Preaching Angles: 1) Assimilation; Church; Small groups – Time and energy spent in meaningful conversation will help people become connected and have a sense of belonging in the group; 2) Prayer; Fellowship with God – Since closeness in a relationship requires time and deep conversation, then the same is true in our relationship with God.