Fulfillment

“…I believe that for just about everybody the most fulfilling thing we can do, in the long term, is to focus on our work. By “work,” I’m not just referring to a nine-to-five job. It could be parenting. Or serving on a board. Or volunteering. Many possible things. Anything that contributes good to others is work, regardless if we’re getting paid for it.

And what distracts us most from that kind of work? One of the biggest things is work’s opposite: leisure. Or better put modern society’s infatuation with leisure.

…I’m not against rest, relaxation and fun. I just don’t want you to miss out on the things that matter to you because you’ve unthinkingly bought into our cultural notions of leisure. What I’m against is making leisure your objective. Because if leisure is your objective, it will inevitably displace your higher priorities. That’s a very common problem in our society.

Let me put it this way: Leisure make a great booster to long-term productivity in our pursuit of meaningful goals. But leisure makes a terrible goal in itself.

Leisure doesn’t provide meaning. It provides renewal for other things that do provide meaning.

Preaching Angles: Leisure: Mk 6:31, Ex 20:10, Ecc 3:13, Ps 118:24; Work: Col 3:23, Pr 16:3, Gen 2:15, Pr 18:9; Purpose: Jn 6;27, Col 3:17, M 6:33 Source: Joshua Becker, Things That Matter, Waterbrook, 2022, Page 146-147

A New York Times interview with Yale “happiness professor” Lauri Santos, exemplifies the ways in which the happiness studies movement lets us down. Santos’s research focuses on cognition and cognitive development in dogs and monkeys. But she has been teaching a popular course on human happiness since 2018, and producing podcasts about happiness with millions of downloads.

At the end of the interview, the Times asks, “So what’s the answer? What’s the purpose of life?” Santos answers: “It’s smelling your coffee in the morning. [Laughs.] Loving your kids. Having sex and daisies and springtime. It’s all the good things in life. That’s what it is.” In other words, she doesn’t know.

Here's an additional comment from the article: “Santos says some good and important things. But when she reaches her positive prescriptions, we find we can gain equally useful insights from greeting cards and embroidered samplers—in fact, better. At least the platitude “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade” responds to the problem of suffering. “Have all the good things” doesn’t. What is the secret to enjoying the good things? What shall we say to the people who have them all, but find they aren’t enough? Between 1999 and 2019, suicide rates increased by 33 percent—and that was before the pandemic. I suspect that a lot of the people comprehended by that statistic smelled coffee, liked sex and daisies and springtime, and at least tried to love their kids.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

It turns out the true happiness is not found in circumstances but in our relationship with our Creator. Only He promises “fullness of joy” (Ps. 16:11; Isa. 55:11).

Read through the Bible and you will find a positive attitude about having and raising children. Attitudes among our culture today are trending in the opposite direction due to attitudes about careers and individualism as cited by the authors of the book, "What Are Children For?"

Having children is but another possible project, with its own emotional experiences, social obligations, and financial responsibilities. According to a 2023 Pew Research report, only 26 percent of Americans today say having children is important for living a fulfilling life. Whereas 71 percent consider “having a job or career they enjoy to be essential and 61 percent say the same for “having close friends.” As the demographers found in an overview of the forces affecting fertility patterns today.

Increasingly, people justified childbearing in terms of its impact on their personal well-being, satisfaction, and happiness.” When children are seen in this light, it’s understandable that many people, certainly those whose lives feel uncertain and precarious, dread giving up their time, energy, resources, highest ambitions, and—perhaps above all—freedom to the task of raising another human being. When you compare having children—a resource guzzling enterprise that comes with no guarantee of mental or material satisfaction—to all those other possible attractive ends, how could it ever measure up?

Editor’s Note: When using this illustration, let’s be mindful of the single women who long to be married, but are not yet, and the husbands and wives who would love to have children but have not been able to conceive and those who have lost children through miscarriage.

For young professionals today, work is no longer just something they do for a paycheck; it has become one of the primary spheres of meaning in their lives. For those who pursue a vocation, work is a way of leading a purposeful life and making a mark on the world. For those still going to the office, work is where people find others to talk to and, if they’re lucky, people who care about the same things that they do. Often, it’s where people fall in love.

Above all, it’s how many people in the middle and upper-middle classes define their value and sense of purpose: it is against the standards of their professions that people measure their level of success and personal growth. And it is in a large measure on the social status of their professions that they base their self-worth.

Because work has become so central to people’s identities, self-esteem, and social lives, it is easy to lose sight of its many dry demands. For full-time employees, work takes most of our waking hours. And for whole swaths of highly skilled white-collar workers, the willingness and ability to give more and more time to their careers has become a professional virtue in itself.

Since 2002, the World Happiness Report has used statistical analysis to determine the world’s happiest countries. In its 2024 update, the report concluded that Finland is the happiest country in the world.

To determine the world’s happiest country, researchers analyzed comprehensive Gallup polling data from 143 countries for the past three years, specifically monitoring performance in six particular categories: gross domestic product per capita, social support, healthy life expectancy, freedom to make your own life choices, generosity of the general population, and perceptions of internal and external corruption levels.

Six out of the top seven happiest countries in the world for 2024 were Northern European countries. Finland took top honors—for the tenth year in a row—with an overall score of 7.741, followed (in order) by Denmark (7.583), Iceland (7.525), Sweden (7.344), Israel (7.341), the Netherlands (7.319), and Norway (7.302).

Where does the United States rank on the list of the world’s happiest countries? The United States rank 23rd with a score of 6.73. (This was below the UK (#20), Slovenia (#21), and the United Arab Emirates (#22).

The least happy country in the world for 2024 was Afghanistan, whose 143rd-place ranking of 1.721 can be attributed in part to a low life expectancy rate, low gross domestic product rates per capita, and perhaps most importantly, the recent Taliban takeover of Afghanistan. Rounding out the bottom five are Lebanon (2.707), Lesotho (3.186), Sierra Leone (3.245), and DR Congo (3.295).

You can view the entire report here

Possible Preaching Angle:

This article did overlook the happiest country – the “heavenly country” that we pilgrims anticipate: “Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one” (Heb. 11:16); "You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore." (Psalm 16:11).

The US is battling an epidemic of sad, anxious young women. Despite the surge in women’s opportunities and freedoms over the past 50 years, it appears they are more depressed than ever. According to Harvard University research, this is particularly apparent in the 18-25 age group, 41% of which are said to suffer anxiety. In addition, the number of women reporting depression increased from 26% in 2017 to over 36% in 2023, according to a Gallup poll.

Dr. Wendy Wang at The Institute for Family Studies, says, “With 20 years under my belt as a sociologist…I believe I have stumbled on one possible explanation for this sea of sadness. It might appear a controversial take: too few women are getting married.”

According to US census data, only 47% of women ages 18 to 55 were married in the US in 2022, compared to 72% in 1970.

Despite the scientific data, social media is doing its part to malign marriage. On TikTok, videos that jokingly depict marriage as a fast route to domestic chores like washing dishes, caring for a newborn baby, and cleaning the house, go viral. As a result, only 24% of women under 30 believe that women who get married and have kids live fuller and happier lives than those who don’t.

But the uncomfortable truth is women who aren't married are worse off, health-wise, compared to their married counterparts. Proven scientific studies have shown that married women are less likely to die from heart disease and have longer lifespans than non-married women.

Marriage is not a cure-it-all magic wand, but the data tell us that the average American woman who is married with children is markedly less lonely and living a more meaningful and joyful life. Surveys show that 40% of married mothers aged under 55 reported that they were 'very happy' with their lives, compared with 22% of single, childfree women.

Admittedly, taking care of children is an exhausting job. But extensive research has shown that the rewards outweigh the negatives.

Editor’s Note: When using this illustration, let’s be mindful of the single women who long to be married, but are not yet, and the wives who would love to have children but have not been able to conceive, and those who have lost children through miscarriage.

20-year-old James Clarkson works as a gas engineer trainee in North England, and has no plans of stopping. Of course, it would be unusual for any person to consider retirement at 20. But Clarkson has options many people don’t have, because he recently won a lottery jackpot worth £7.5 million (about $9.2 million in U.S. dollars).

Clarkson is from Carlisle near the Scottish border. He was staying at his girlfriend’s house when his phone notified him via the National Lottery app that he’d won the UK National Lottery Christmas Day drawing.

Clarkson said, “News spread fast and we all ended up celebrating later at my grandma’s and grandad's with a roast beef dinner and champagne.”

But by Monday morning, he was back at work as usual. He said, “I need to have a purpose in life, plus Dad wouldn't let me not work anyway.” Clarkson believes it’s important to have a reason to get up in the morning. “I know people might think I'm mad to still work, but I want to. And, of course, there'll be some nice holidays in between.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

God designed us to find meaning and purpose in our work. An occupation is much more than just a means for earning a living.

Best-selling author Arthur C. Brooks is an expert on happiness research. But he also honestly shares about his own struggle with finding true satisfaction in life:

I have fallen into the trap of believing that success would fulfill me. On my 40th birthday I made a bucket list of things I hoped to do or achieve. They were mainly accomplishments only a wonk could want: writing books and columns about serious subjects, teaching at a top school, traveling to give lectures and speeches, maybe even leading a university or think tank. Whether these were good and noble goals or not, they were my goals, and I imagined that if I hit them, I would be satisfied.

I found that list when I was 48 and realized that I had achieved every item on it. But none of that had brought me the lasting joy I’d envisioned. Each accomplishment thrilled me for a day or a week—maybe a month, never more—and then I reached for the next rung on the ladder.

I’d devoted my life to climbing those rungs. I was still devoting my life to climbing—working 60 to 80 hours a week to accomplish the next thing, all the while terrified of losing the last thing. The costs of that kind of existence are obvious, but it was only when I looked back at my list that I genuinely began to question the benefits—and to think seriously about the path I was walking.

And what about you? Your goals are probably very different from mine, and perhaps your lifestyle is too. But the trap is the same. Everyone has dreams, and they beckon with promises of sweet, lasting satisfaction if you achieve them. But dreams are liars. When they come true, it’s … fine, for a while. And then a new dream appears.

The idea that we have the perfect soulmate has proved popular among young adults in the U.S. A 2011 poll found that 73% of Americans believed in a soulmate, the idea that “two people … are destined to be together,” with fully 80% of those under 30 taking this view.

For those seeking a soulmate, what matters is emotional skills and the ability to spark romantic or sexual chemistry. These qualities are supposed to put men and women on the path to what they see as the primary goods of marriage: intimacy, self-expression, and self-fulfillment.

The problem, of course, is that very few couples can maintain this romantic high. Men and women who buy into the soulmate model appear more likely to end up divorced. This was apparent in a survey which asked 918 husbands and wives aged 18 to 50 to describe their approach to marriage and family life. They had to pick whether they saw marriage through the soulmate lens—as “mostly about an intense, emotional/romantic connection”—or through the lens of family—viewing marriage as “about romance but also about kids, money, [and] raising a family together.”

The survey found that husbands and wives who took the soulmate view were markedly more likely to report doubts about the future of their marriage, compared to those who took a family-first view, even after controlling for factors like education, race, gender, and the presence of children.

Likewise, a poll of 2,000 husbands and wives across the U.S., found that those who followed the soulmate model were about twice as likely to report that they were divorcing or were likely to divorce soon, compared to those following the family-first model.

The first thing to know about people who shun retirement to work past age 80 is that they are probably busier, and possibly cooler, than you.

One said an interview would have to wait because he was traveling to France for the 24 Hours of Le Mans. Another said he would be free after hitting a research deadline and organizing his Harvard Business School class’s 65th reunion. A third, available on shorter notice, emailed a physical description before meeting: “In the spirit of YOLO, I have blue hair and tattoos.”

Growing numbers of 80-somethings are deciding that if days are finite, they are better spent on the job than in retirement. Harrison Ford, 80, released his latest Indiana Jones movie, Jane Goodall, 89, is still protecting chimps, Smokey Robinson, 83, is still touring.

Roughly 650,000 Americans over 80 were working last year, that’s about 18% more than a decade earlier. Some people have been pressed back into duty by inflation and stock-market volatility. Many cite a simpler reason to keep working—they just want to. These workers joke about getting bored on the golf course or being pushed out of the house by a spouse who won’t tolerate idleness. Beneath the wisecracks is a sense of purpose that refuses to fade. They just can’t quit their careers.

Possible Preaching Angles:

As a positive illustration this shows that retirement can still be a fruitful time of life. As a negative illustration this could show how people’s identities and worth are still wrapped up in work.

Forty years ago, Steve Bell began building cabinets in his garage. Those humble beginnings have grown over the decades into Bellmont Cabinet Co., an award-winning manufacturing company specializing in the minimalist “frameless” cabinet, of which Steve was one of the first pioneers.

But Steve has pioneered more than just cabinetry – he is redefining the workplace and what it means to be a working Christian. “Growing up, there was this sense that if you’re really called to faith, then you're going to go into ‘the real Christian work’ of full-time Christian service. Everything else was basically a compromise,” recalls Steve, whose parents were disappointed that he didn't want to follow in his father's footsteps into pastoral ministry.

One day in college, he was reading RG LeTourneau's Mover of Men and Mountains. LeTourneau experienced success in his business, so he asked his pastor, “Do you think I should sell my business and become a missionary?” The pastor said, “Bob, God needs businessmen as much as he needs pastors and teachers and missionaries.”

LeTourneau went on to become one of the great industrialists of the World War II era. Steve also realized that his desires for the business and manufacturing sector were a conviction from the Lord.

Steve said: “I think we've got generations of people growing up in the church who don't understand the importance of their work … God doesn't just love the cabinet maker; he loves good cabinets too. He actually loves the work that we do. I’ve got over 300 employees here that go out every day to make something that’s beautiful. And God loves beauty.”

Steve says, “This 200,000-square-foot facility with these 300 employees—this is my ministry … We want everybody that touches Bellmont to see Christ reflected in the way we do our business.”

People living in remote Indigenous communities are as happy as those in wealthy developed countries despite having “very little money,” according to new scientific research. This could challenge the widely held perception that “money buys happiness.”

Researchers who interviewed 2,966 people in 19 Indigenous local communities across the world found that on average they were as happy – if not happier – as the average person in high-income western countries.

According to researchers, “Surprisingly, many populations with very low monetary incomes report very high average levels of life satisfaction, with scores similar to those in wealthy countries. I would hope that, by learning more about what makes life satisfying in these diverse communities, it might help many others to lead more satisfying lives.”

The study found that people in the 19 isolated communities reported an average “life satisfaction score” of 6.8 out of 10 “even though most of the sites have estimated annual monetary incomes of less than US $1,000 per person.”

This is roughly the same as the 6.7 average life satisfaction score for all countries in the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD). Surprisingly, four of the small communities reported average happiness scores of more than 8, which is higher than that found in Finland, the highest-rated country with an average of 7.9.

The report says its findings proves that wealth – as generated by industrialized economies – is not fundamentally required for humans to lead happy lives.

A lot of things about work that we long took for granted have changed for good, as we settle into our remote and hybrid reality. While many of us are happy for the reduction in long commutes, sad desk lunches, and uncomfortable “business casual” clothes, there are some things we’ll miss.

There is also the importance of office friendships. Having a close relationship with people you work with not only increases your job satisfaction and loyalty, but productivity, as well. And creating and maintaining those relationships is a driving reason so many bosses claimed to want employees back in the office.

But after years of being away from the office, those relationships have eroded or disappeared. The Wall Street Journal reported the percentage of hybrid workers who claimed to have a best friend at work fell from 22% to 17% between 2019 and 2022, perhaps finally signaling the end of the “work spouse” era. While we miss out on having someone to confide in or commiserate with, more people are realizing a difficult truth: Work was never your family.

Companies, when trying to force “fun” activities on their employees as a way to entice them back to work, are seeing that many would rather spend time with their actual friends and families. If the end goal for both bosses and employees has always been a happier, more productive, more engaged workforce, then maybe it’s time we let employees prioritize a healthy disconnection from the office.

Possible Preaching Angles:

Family; Friendship; Church Involvement – This is a good reminder that our first responsibility, and true lasting relationships, are found with our “real families” at home and at church.

An insightful Aperture video reveals the sad reality that our happiness, or lack of, is always at a regular baseline. It only fluctuates slightly despite all our attempts at bliss and euphoria.

You wake up in the morning and go to work. You spend eight hours working away at your desk on a job you once loved but now kind of just tolerate. It's 5:00 p.m., you go home, eat dinner, and watch TV, only to do it all over again the next day. You play sports or catch up with friends on the weekend and life's good, but you still feel like something is missing.

Now imagine you get that well deserved promotion and a healthy raise and suddenly you're going on those vacations you once dreamt of. Driving a nicer car, receiving more status and respect in the workplace. Your quality of life has been significantly upgraded and finally you feel like you're fulfilling your potential. Fancy restaurants, rubbing elbows with influential people, your life feels new and almost foreign compared to where you came from.

Yet in a year or so your once brand-new Porsche just becomes your daily driver. All the imported sushi starts to taste the same and while you still frequent white sandy beaches and pristine ski slopes, these places have lost their allure.

You've completely changed your life but you're still in the same position you were in before you got the promotion. Those things that used to excite you have become stale, mundane, and boring. The reason why you'll never be happy is called “hedonic adaptation.” Hedonic adaptation is the tendency to return to a base level of happiness even when undergoing profound periods of positive or negative change.

When a researcher started interviewing hospital workers—the people who cleaned out the patients’ rooms each day she assumed they would only have bad things to say about it. That was partially true, but she also found a second group of workers with the same jobs who felt their labor was highly skilled.

They described the work in “rich relational terms,” talking about their interactions with patients and visitors. Many of them reported going out of their way to learn as much as possible about the patients whose rooms they cleaned. “It was not just that they were taking the same job and feeling better about it … It was that they were doing a different job.”

This group didn’t see themselves as custodial workers at all. One described forming such a bond with patients that she continued to write letters to some of them after they were discharged. Another paid attention to which patients seemed to have few visitors or none and would make sure to double back to spend some time with them. They said things like, “I’m an ambassador for the hospital” or, “I’m a healer. My role here is to do everything I can to promote the healing of the patients.”

One woman told how she rotated the art in the rooms of coma patients. She would take paintings down in one room and putting them up in another. The woman explained that it was at least possible that a change in scenery might spark something in their comatose brains.

These workers were quietly creating the work that they wanted to do out of the work that they had been assigned to do. The researchers called them “job crafters.”

Gallup once polled people in 142 countries to respond to a series of statements designed to measure employee engagement—involving matters like their job satisfaction, whether they felt their work was important, and whether they had opportunities in the workplace to learn and grow.

What the polling firm found was that engagement is the exception, not the rule: Worldwide, 13% of employees were engaged at work, while 63% were not engaged and 24% were “actively disengaged,” meaning they were unhappy and unproductive. Engagement rates were highest in the United States and Canada, and lowest in East Asia.

Gallup noted, “About one in eight workers … are psychologically committed to their jobs and likely to be making positive contributions to their organizations. The bulk of employees worldwide ... lack motivation and are less likely to invest discretionary effort in organizational goals or outcomes.”

Mike Tyson is one of the greatest boxers of all time. Over his career, “Iron Mike” had 50 wins, including 44 knockouts, and only six losses. Coming from a difficult childhood, during which he was surrounded by crime and poverty, he escaped his circumstances through a laser-like focus on his dream of athletic greatness. And he realized that dream in 1986 by becoming the world heavyweight champion at the age of 20.

Despite his success and fame, Tyson was dogged by crises, failed relationships, and legal troubles, including allegations of domestic violence and nearly three years in prison in the 1990s after he was convicted on a charge of rape. He achieved all his ambitions of riches and renown, but a happy life seemed to elude him.

This might seem ironic or contradictory to some. To Tyson, however, it was neither. “You almost have to give your happiness up to accomplish your goals,” he reflected in a 2020 interview.

That is what we might call the Tyson Paradox. Building a good life requires us to have goals that keep us focused, enthusiastic, and out of trouble. But actually, attaining those goals might not give us the payoff we imagined, and could in fact bring us misery. Although most of us will never see the highs and lows that Mike Tyson experienced, we can all easily fall into our own version of the same trap.

“Now that you are retired, it’s time to play pickleball all day, every day.”

That’s the message from the front of a retirement card. It reflects the growing popularity of pickleball in the United States, especially among older adults. According to the Sports & Fitness Industry Association, pickleball is the fastest-growing sport in the country. An article in TIME observes, “More than half (52%) of core [pickleball] players—those who play eight or more times a year—are 55 or older, and almost a third (32.7%) are 65-plus.”

If playing pickleball all day, every day isn’t your cup of tea, perhaps you’d rather have the poster that proclaims, “Retirement To Do List . . . Play Golf.”

Both the card and the poster bear witness to the popular view that retirement is mainly a time to play. For some, it’s pickleball or golf. For others, it’s cribbage or Wordle. For many retirees, travel is a delightful form of play, as is hanging out with friends or grandchildren. No matter the form it takes, play can be seen as the main point of retirement. “You worked hard for decades,” or so the story goes, “now it’s your turn to play.”

But, I wonder, is this a good way to think about retirement? If we want to flourish in this third of life—to live fully, fruitfully, and faithfully—where should play fit into our lives? Can play help us flourish? Or might it actually get in the way?

In 2021, Rayner Conway was downsizing her four-story, 3,500-square-foot home to a condo less than half the size when her husband of 50 years died unexpectedly. The designer the couple had tasked with preparing the space, faced a fresh challenge. Could she devise a comfy home for her suddenly solo client—whom she calls “a firecracker”—while also making a tough transition not just bearable, but invigorating?

The article went on to explain how the designer had a strategy for "spotlighting meaningful artwork, weaving in treasured heirlooms and swathing the rooms in a bright palette designed to stand out, not hide away."

Conway said, “Many women of my generation look at [downsizing] as giving up their previous life, but I saw a new chapter. I’m 73. I can do whatever … I want.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

In sharp contrast, in the Kingdom of God, growing older or “retirement” doesn’t mean doing whatever I want. It’s an opportunity to serve God and others and leave a Christ-honoring legacy.

Shortly into her term, Senator Laphonza Butler was hailed for a magnanimous gesture that threatens to eclipse her entire legislative agenda. Butler decided not to run for re-election.

Butler had been appointed by Gov. Gavin Newsom to serve as interim Senator for the state of California after the exit of the late Senator Dianne Feinstein, who’d occupied the role for three decades. Because of Feinstein’s gradually declining health, several prominent California Democrats in Congress had been lining up to become her replacement. But not wanting to take sides, Newsom sidestepped Representatives Adam Schiff, Katie Porter, and Barbara Lee and instead awarded the role to Butler.

According to political analysts, the appointment gave Butler a legitimate opening for Butler to properly campaign for the Senate seat. Bill Carrick said that Butler “could have been a player.” But Butler decided that the best thing to do for her family and for the state would be to relinquish her seat at the end of her term. Butler said in her announcement “Knowing you can win a campaign doesn’t always mean you should run a campaign.”

She included a motivational quote from one of her sports heroes: “Muhammad Ali once said, ‘Don’t count the days, make the days count.’ I intend to do just that.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

It's amazing what we can accomplish when we care more about helping others than helping ourselves.