Funerals

When you drive north toward Ordos City in China’s Inner Mongolia province, you can’t miss the Mausoleum of Genghis Khan. The massive complex, rebuilt in the 1950s in the traditional Mongol style, houses genuine relics and is an important sanctuary for the shamanic worship of the legendary Mongol leader. But the Khan’s tomb is properly called a cenotaph—a monument to someone buried elsewhere—because it is empty.

While we can be certain his mortal remains are not there, we’re completely uncertain as to where they might be. And that’s odd. In life, he was the most powerful person on Earth. He was the Universal Ruler (“Genghis Khan”) of an empire that would eventually stretch from the Pacific Ocean into Eastern Europe, encompassing large swaths of present-day China, Russia, and the Middle East. Yet his grave is unmarked and remains undiscovered.

This is by design. Despite his exalted status, Genghis Khan retained the frugal, itinerant lifestyle of his youth, and indeed of most Mongols. So, it makes sense that he would want a humble, anonymous burial in his homeland. “Let my body die, but let my nation live,” he is supposed to have said.

Possible Preaching Angles:

1. Christ, Lordship of; King Jesus; Lordship of Christ – Many powerful kings have ruled over large parts of the earth. Many came from humble backgrounds and rose to greatness. Jesus, the true “universal ruler” also had a humble childhood and became the most powerful person on earth. He was also buried in a grave whose exact location is debated today. But the defining difference is that the King of Kings and Lord of Lords rose from the dead and reigns forever seated at the right hand of God.
2. Moses – The burial place of Moses is also unknown, but he was buried by God himself. (Deut. 34:5-6; Jude 1:9)
3. Final Judgment; Resurrection – Although the grave of Genghis Khan is unknown, hidden in the mists of history, God will still raise him up to stand at the final judgment. (Rev. 20:13)

In a deeply disturbing scene in the television series “The Crown,” Prince Philip recounted to Queen Elizabeth his moving experience at a funeral for 81 children who had died in the tragic mudslide in Aberfan. (During a heavy rainstorm in October of 1966, a massive pile of accumulated coal waste positioned above the town of Aberfan turned to slurry. The massive flood tragically overwhelmed a school and a row of houses).

The dialogue went like this:

The Queen: How was it?

The Prince: Extraordinary. The Grief. The Anger – at the government, at the coal warden…at God, too. 81 children were buried today. The rage behind all the faces, behind all the eyes. They didn’t smash things up. They didn’t fight in the streets.

Q: What did they do?

P: They sang! The whole community. It’s the most astonishing thing I’ve ever heard.

Q: Did you weep?

P: I might have wept. Yes. Are you going to tell me it was inappropriate? The fact is that anyone who heard that hymn today would not just have wept. They would have been broken into a thousand tiny pieces.

The mourners who gathered at the funeral at Aberfan sang the hymn “Jesus, Lover of My Soul.”

Jesus, Lover of my soul,

Let me to thy bosom fly,

While the nearer waters roll,

While the tempest still is high.

Hide me, O my Savior, hide,

Till the storm of life is past.

Safe into the haven guide;

Oh, receive my soul at last.

Other refuge have I none;

Hangs my helpless soul on thee.

Leave, oh, leave me not alone;

Still support and comfort me.

All my trust on thee is stayed;

All my help from thee I bring.

Cover my defenseless head

with the shadow of thy wing.

For Mike Witmer, it began as a neighborly holiday game. Now it has become an enduring tribute. The Witmer’s Christmas lights were already up when Mike heard that his daughter’s friend from the swim team, Kevin, age 11, was coming home from the hospital, having been hospitalized with cancer. So, Mike decided to write “Get Well Kevin” in lights, and Mike’s wife told Kevin’s folks to swing through their court on their way home from the hospital.

Kevin loved the display, and he asked his mom, “Do you think Mr. Witmer will put my name in lights every year?” When Mike heard that his heart crushed and he thought, “Well, how can I not?” Kevin’s cancer went into remission, but every year Mike would hide the words “Hi” and “Kevin” in his display for Kevin to find it--like a Where’s Waldo? game between them.

Sadly, Kevin’s cancer returned, and he died at age 19. Mike spoke at Kevin’s funeral, telling the mourners he’d be making his “Hi Kevin” sign bigger that year, so Kevin would be able to see it from heaven. It has been on Mike’s garage roof every Christmas ever since.

“In the beginning,” Mike said, “my annual ‘Hi Kevin’ was just a silly gesture to a really nice kid who had been through some tough times. But it has been my honor to keep the salute going for his friends and family.”

Kamal Bherwani is on a mission to use his tragedy to prevent other parents from suffering. But rather than just making a public service announcement, he’s using an innovative strategy. He’s turning his message into a video game. Bherwani’s game is called “Johanna’s Vision.”

He said in a recent news interview “It’s loosely based on my family’s story. It’s about a girl who finds out her brother died of fentanyl poisoning.”

Bherwani’s 26-year-old son Ethan died from a fentanyl overdose in May of 2021 during a trip to a casino to celebrate his college graduation. Now his father says:

He wanted to be a lawyer. He was going to go on to law school. He had so many other talents – whether it was musical talents or his gift for even being a journalist. He had written articles about sports and sports journalism that were published.

Security footage from the casino showed Ethan at a blackjack table, suddenly slumping over, and falling out of his seat. His father said, “He was on the ground for 11 minutes before help arrives. Took them several more minutes to revive him. They never gave him Narcan.” Officials from the casino say that Narcan, also known as naloxone, was available at the time but that it wasn’t administered because none of the staff knew at the time that he’d ingested fentanyl.

As a result, the video game “Johanna’s Vision” is intended to help its players understand the dangers of fentanyl and to train them how to administer revival aids like naloxone to help save lives.

The Office of Addiction Services and Supports (OASAS) took notice of Bherwani’s innovative videogame and contacted him. The chairman of OASAS said:

This is an emerging area where people are looking at recreational gaming and how that can be harnessed to inform the public. It is through efforts like expanding Naloxone, which can reverse overdose deaths. We are definitely grateful to Kamal and others like him who have taken their personal tragedy and really channeled that into advocacy.

Potential preaching angle:

A powerful message is sent when we harness our tragedies to warn others.

In the summer of 2023, Heather Beville felt something she hadn’t in a long time: a hug from her sister Jessica, who died at age 30 from cancer. In a dream, “I hugged her and I could feel her, even though I knew in my logic that she was dead.”

Like fellow Christians, Beville is sure that death is not the end. But she’s also among a significant number who say they have continued to experience visits from deceased loved ones here on earth.

In a recent Pew Research Center survey, 42 percent of self-identified evangelicals said they had been visited by a loved one who had passed away. Rates were even higher among Catholics and Black Protestants, two-thirds of whom reported such experiences.

Interactions with the dead fall into a precarious supernatural space. Staunch secularists will say they’re impossible and must be made up. Bible-believing Christians may be wary of the spiritual implications of calling on ghosts from beyond. Yet more than half of Americans believe a dead family member has come to them in a dream or some other form.

Researchers say most people who report “after-death communications” find the interactions to be comforting, not haunting or scary. Professor Julie Exline says, “They’re often very valuable for people. They give them hope that their loved one is still there and still connected to them. These experiences help people, even if they don’t know what to make of them.”

There are several factors that come into play for a person to turn to supernatural explanations for what they’ve experienced. Prior belief in God, angels, spirits, or ghosts, combined with a belief that these beings actually do communicate with people in the world is one condition. Another factor is the relationship between a person and their loved one—“the need for relational closure” amid prolonged grief. And women are more likely to report the phenomena.

Possible Preaching Angle:

The spiritual realm described in Scripture comes with strong warnings. The text repeatedly advises against calling on spirits outside of God himself, with several Old Testament verses specifically addressing interactions with the dead (“necromancy” in some translations). Deuteronomy 18, for example, decries anyone who “is a medium or spiritist or who consults with the dead” as “detestable to the Lord” (vv. 11, 12).

Pastors can attest that grieving Christian spouses occasionally believe they have seen shadows or objects in the home moving after the death of a loved one. We can rest on the absolute truth of God’s Word that “absent from the body and at home with the Lord” (2 Cor. 5:8). At death, believers are immediately in the presence of the Lord and not wandering the earth (Phil. 1:23).

Why do people believe they have seen ghosts? Research suggests that the brain may summon spirits as a means of coping with trauma, especially the pain of losing a loved one. Just as most amputees report what’s known as “phantom limb,” the feeling that their detached appendage is still there, surviving spouses frequently report seeing or sensing their departed partner.

One 1971 survey in the British Medical Journal found that close to half the widows in Wales and England had seen their partners postmortem. These vivid encounters, which psychologists call “after-death communication,” have long been among the most common kinds of paranormal experience, affecting skeptics and believers alike.

Experts think that such specters help us deal with painful or confusing events. A 2011 analysis published in the journal Death Studies looked at hundreds of incidents of supposed interaction with the deceased. The paper concluded that some occurrences provided “instantaneous relief from painful grief symptoms,” while others strengthened preexisting religious views.

There’s also evidence that sightings have other mental benefits. In a 1995 survey, 91 percent of participants said their encounter had at least one upside, such as a sense of connection to others.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Afterlife; Heaven – Pastors can attest that grieving Christian spouses occasionally believe they have seen shadows or objects in the home moving after the death of a loved one. We can rest on the absolute truth of God’s Word that “absent from the body and at home with the Lord” (2 Cor. 5:8). At death, believers are immediately in the presence of the Lord and not wandering the earth (Phil. 1:23).

For years, Google Maps has offered Street View. Street View stitches together panoramic camera images to recreate a digital facsimile of the real world that you can explore online. Some people are discovering that if they scroll through the platform long enough and use a time travel feature, they just might find the image of a late loved one captured by one of Google’s cameras. Seemingly saved in Google Maps forever.

One post from UK-based writer Sherri Turner has already racked up tens of thousands of “Likes” on Twitter. She wrote, “I look(ed) at my mum’s old house on Google maps street view, the house where I grew up. It says ‘Image captured May 2009.’ There is a light on in her bedroom. It is still her house, she is still alive, I am still visiting every few months on the train.”

Google says the digital recreation of the physical world is powered by millions of cameras that capture multiple angles. While helping people remember dead family members isn’t really the intended purpose of Google Maps, a spokesperson said it was “heartwarming” that people were using the platform in this way.

But there’s more to the story than viral content. The images are a reminder that many people who show up in Street View don’t know their pictures are being taken, and the deceased have no say in whether or not their image remains on the service.

Google says it has systems in place for blurring out personally identifying information from passersby and license plates in the photos it takes. But clearly, some people can still be identified if a family member knows what they’re looking for. The enduring trend of finding lost loved ones inevitably serves as a reminder that Google plays a major role in documenting our daily lives over time.

Possible Preaching Angle:

1) Family; Resurrection; Second Coming of Christ – People find it comforting that they can see the image of loved ones preserved “forever” digitally. However, believers know that God has preserved not a picture but the souls of their departed loved ones and a great reunion is coming (1 Thess. 4:13-18). 2) Camera; Computers; Surveillance - Some people find these online images comforting, and some find them creepy. But it is a reminder that we can’t expect privacy any longer.

Hannah Beswick had a morbid fear of being buried alive, and this dread was not entirely irrational. Her young brother John almost had his coffin lid closed over him when a mourner attending John’s supposed death noticed the eyelids of the “dead body” flickering. On examination, the family physician confirmed that John was still alive. John regained consciousness a few days later, and lived for many more years.

Such incidents were not uncommon during the period in which Hannah Beswick lived—late 17th to mid-18th century. In fact, cases of premature burial have been documented well into the late 19th century. These are gruesome tales—urban legend or otherwise—about victims falling into the state of coma, and then waking up days … later to find themselves entombed.

The Scottish philosopher John Duns Scotus (1266-1308) was reported to have been buried alive after one of his occasional fits of coma was mistaken to be the loss of life. After his tomb was reopened, years later, his body was found outside his coffin. His hands were torn and bloody from the attempted escape.

On February 21, 1885, The New York Times gave a disturbing account of a man identified as “Jenkins,” whose body was found turned over onto its front inside the coffin, with much of his hair pulled out. There were also scratch marks visible on all sides of the coffin's interior.

Another story reported in The Times on January 18, 1886, tells about a Canadian girl named "Collins," whose body was described as being found with the knees tucked up under the body, and her burial shroud “torn into shreds.”

After the incident with her brother, Hannah was left with a pathological fear of the same thing befalling her. She asked her doctor to ensure that there was no risk of premature burial when her time came. She demanded her body be kept above ground and regularly examined for signs of life until it was certain she was dead.

Possible Preaching Angle:

This is a gruesome illustration but one which can realistically apply directly to the horrors of hell. The terrifying reality of the unsaved awakening after death in the inescapable horror of conscious eternity in hell cannot be ignored. We must be realistic in our view of both heaven and hell, and be compelled to preach the good news of God’s saving grace to a lost and dying world.

In 1977, Sandra Ilene West, a flamboyant Beverly Hills oil heiress, was buried with her baby-blue 1964 Ferrari. Her grave is next to her husband’s at Alamo Masonic Cemetery in San Antonio, and it has become a tourist attraction.

In 1984, Willie Stokes Jr. of Chicago was interred in a coffin styled like a Cadillac Seville with functioning head and tail lights, an event immortalized in song by Stevie Ray Vaughan.

Another Cadillac fan was Aurora Schuck, a native of Cuba who was buried in Aurora, Indiana, in 1989 with her red 1976 Cadillac Eldorado convertible. With the top down, the coffin was placed over the rear seats. Sixteen gravesites were required to fit the car, one of the largest Cadillacs made.

George Swanson of Pennsylvania had his ashes interred with his 1984 Corvette in 1994.

In 2009, Lonnie Holloway and his 1973 Pontiac Catalina went into the ground together in South Carolina. His sister said, “It’s something he always wanted to do, but I didn’t like it.”

Editor’s Note: Notice the title of the article —“You Can Take It With You, if the Grave Is Deep Enough.” Nice try. Of course, the following saying is far more biblical—“You can’t take it with you.”

Death abounded in America in 2020 and 2021. According to preliminary data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 570,000 more people died in 2020 than in 2019, with about 350,000 of those attributable to COVID-19. Another 350,000 people died from the coronavirus by the fall of 2021, bringing the death total to 700,000 and counting (as of March 18, 2022 over 969k deaths are attributable to COVID).

When roughly that same number died over the four years of the Civil War, it had a widespread impact on American culture. Historians say changes included increased attention to cemeteries, the rise in the importance of family photographs, and rapid growth in the popularity of practices of spiritualism, a new religious movement that claimed to help people communicate with the dead.

What impact today’s pandemic deaths will have on American culture remains to be seen. But one shift is notable now: The percentage of people age 40 and older who say that religion is “very important” in the funeral of a loved one has gone up for the first time in a decade.

The importance of religion at funerals jumped 10 percentage points in 2020. It went up another 2 points in 2021. Most Americans still don’t think religion is important at funerals, but a growing number are feeling a new need for it.

Sarah Jones, an atheist raised in a strict evangelical home, wrote about this experience:

I could plant a flag for my grandfather . . . but the gesture feels thin. I don’t know what exactly I would want from a memorial—whether it’s catharsis or meaning or something else altogether. I thought several hundred times this year, Maybe I should go to church.

Ken Fuson actually wrote his own tribute before passing:

Ken Fuson, born June 23, 1956, died Jan. 3, 2020 in at Nebraska Medical Center, of liver cirrhosis, and is stunned to learn that the world is somehow able to go on without him. Ken attended the University of Missouri-Columbia’s famous School of Journalism, which is a clever way of saying, "almost graduated but didn't." Facing a choice between covering a story for the newspaper or taking his final exams, Ken went for the story. He never claimed to be smart, just committed.

In 1981, Ken landed his dream job, working as a reporter for The Des Moines Register. Ken won several national feature-writing awards. No, he didn't win a Pulitzer Prize, but he's dead now, so get off his back.

In 2011, Ken accepted a job in the marketing department at Simpson College, where he remained until 2018. He was diagnosed with liver disease at the beginning of 2019, which is pretty ironic given how little he drank. He is survived by his sons who all brought Ken unsurpassed joy. He hopes they will forgive him for not making the point more often. He loved his boys and was (and is) extraordinarily proud to be their father.

Ken had many character flaws - if he still owes you money, he's sorry, sincerely. He prided himself on letting other drivers cut in line. For most of his life, Ken suffered from a compulsive gambling addiction that nearly destroyed him. But his church friends never gave up on him. Ken last placed a bet on Sept. 5, 2009. He died clean. He hopes that anyone who needs help will seek it. Miracles abound.

Ken's pastor says God can work miracles for you and through you. Skepticism may be cool, and for too many years Ken embraced it, but it was faith in Jesus Christ that transformed his life. That was the one thing he never regretted. It changed everything. God is good. Embrace every moment, even the bad ones. See you in heaven. Ken promises to let you cut in line.

Shay Bradley loved laughter. In the end, he made sure to get the last laugh. Or rather, he made sure that he gave one last laugh. Friends and family mourning the loss of Bradley at his funeral were treated to one final joke; a recording of Bradley yelling out in protest while his coffin was being lowered into the ground. “Let me out, it’s … dark in here!”

In a now viral video of the event, mourners encircling the gravesite first stand still, in complete shock. Then, eventually, laughter fills the air as people realize what they’re hearing. The recording closes with Bradley singing “I Just Called to Say Goodbye.”

When Bradley got the news of his terminal illness a year prior, he made secret arrangements with his children to make and play the recording as his last dying wish. Two days before the funeral, they alerted their mother and other immediately family, so they wouldn’t be too shocked.

Bradley’s daughter Andrea posted the video to Facebook, along with a few thoughts in tribute. “To make us laugh when we were all incredibly sad … what a man.”

Editor’s Note: The video contains profanity making it inappropriate to view during a service.

Potential Preaching Angles: All of us have gifts that God can use to bless others, even in death. As laughing aids us in our grief, as believers in Jesus was can grieve with hope because we believe that death is not the final word.

National Public Radio aired a segment on dying well and what the living can learn from the lives of the deceased. The segment featured a marketing expert named Lux Narayan. Narayan and his employees examined 2,000 editorial, non-paid New York Times obituaries over a 20-month period. What surprised them was that the most common word in the obituaries was “help”:

I was fascinated when I saw that word because when you're analyzing 2,000 paragraphs of text, you wouldn't expect one or two words to stick out and stand out as prominently as this did. And what we found fascinating when we went through some of those descriptors was the fact that the help took on different contexts. For example, Reverend Rick Curry, who helped veterans and disabled people by running writing and acting workshops. There's Jocelyn Cooper, who was a grassroots organizer in Brooklyn in the 1960s. And she helped pave the way for the first African-American woman to sit in the US Congress.

It's beautiful that the people … are remembered … in terms of helping people … And even more fascinating was the fact that the overwhelming majority of obituaries featured people famous and non-famous who did seemingly extraordinary things. They made a positive dent in the fabric of life. They helped … It was beautiful how that word stood out so strongly.

Possible Preaching Angles:

1) Easter; Redeemer; Savior – In his death (and resurrection) Jesus is the supreme example of unselfishly helping others. He came to serve and give his life as a ransom for many (Matt. 20:28); 2) Church, Mission of; Help; Serve - Christ followers should also have the goal that the significant word of their own life will be “helped.”

For some motorcycle owners, biking is simply a hobby. For others, it's more than a hobby; it's a way of life. For one Pennsylvania man, however, biking has been both a way of life and a way of death. Arthur Werner Sr., of Steel City, PA, passed away recently after a hard-fought battle with cancer. Before his passing, however, he requested that he would be laid to rest in the sidecar of his 1990 Harley-Davidson Heritage Softail.

The funeral home chosen by the family is run by a group of motorcycle enthusiasts, who were honored to comply with the request. The sidecar would not even require any modification for the arrangement, they said. Werner's family says he bought the bike with his retirement bonus after 42 years as a steelworker. His daughter-in-law noted shortly after his passing, "he lived for that bike."

Potential Preaching Angles: The Lord bestows upon us bountiful blessings during our lives on earth, and we are right to enjoy them fully. But Jesus also reminds us in scripture not to let the joy of the gift distract from joy in the Giver. Matthew 6:19-21 reads: "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."