Grandparents' Day

The Grammy-award winning rock musician Lenny Kravitz was asked, “How do you stay positive?” Kravitz replied:

It’s a choice. I grew up around some very positive people, namely my grandfather. Being a Black man growing up at the beginning of the century and all he went through, he retained a positive outlook regardless of all the roadblocks and mountains in front of him. This man was the man of his family at 9 years of age—his father died and he had a mother who was bedridden and four siblings in the Bahamas on an island with zero electricity. He went out into the world and found work and took care of his family. So, he always taught me this way.

Jacksonville Jaguars star linebacker Josh Allen has changed his name to Josh Hines-Allen, in tribute to his maternal family. His No. 41 jersey will feature the Hines-Allen name starting the 2024 NFL season. Hines-Allen said, “Legacy is forever, and I’m proud to carry that tradition on the back of my jersey, following in the footsteps of my family.” He aims to honor his family, many of whom are athletes, including his sister Myisha Hines-Allen of the WNBA’s Washington Mystics and other relatives who played basketball at collegiate and professional levels.

Previously, Allen was often mistaken for Buffalo Bills quarterback Josh Allen, notably sacking him in Week 9 of the 2021 NFL season. To mark his name change, Hines-Allen will host a jersey exchange in Jacksonville for fans with his previous "Allen 41" jerseys.

Hines-Allen has had a notable NFL career, tying for second in the league with 17.5 sacks in 2023. In his five seasons with the Jaguars, he has recorded 45 sacks, nine forced fumbles, and 251 tackles. Hines-Allen continues to make a significant impact on the field, now carrying a name that honors his family's legacy.

Possible Preaching Angle:

When we honor those who came before, we honor the God who sustained those ancestors through times of turmoil, trouble, and hardship.

In November 2023, 71-year-old Thea Culbreth Chamberlain was treated to a wonderful surprise from her local movie theater. The thing that took her breath away seemed straight out of a Hollywood tearjerker, but it wasn’t. It was an item intimately connected to her past—something she’d never seen before, yet there it sat, plain as day ... her mother’s wallet.

Floy Culbreth passed away in 2005 at the age of 87. But in 1958, when Thea was just six-years-old, Floy lost her wallet. Inside contained several mementos that served as snapshots of her mother’s life 65 years prior: some raffle tickets, a library card, and a few family photos. At the time, they might not have seemed like much to Floy. But to Thea, six and a half decades later, they were everything.

The wallet's discovery came during renovations of the Atlanta theater when a contractor found it hidden behind the walls. Christopher Escobar owned the Atlanta theater where Floy’s wallet was discovered. Escobar found the name Thea Culbreth written on a reminder card for a dental appointment. After an online search, he contacted the family and arranged a meeting at the theater to return the long-lost item.

Thea said, “I don’t even know how to say how flabbergasted I was. And it took a while for it to sink in.”

Chamberlain says the family plans to get the wallet’s contents framed—a preservation of memories they hope won’t be lost again.

Possible Preaching Angle:

There are many life lessons and wonderful family memories which can influence succeeding generations. We must make an effort to not let them slip away and learn from them.

Who knew spitting into a plastic tube would become such a popular pastime? Ancestry.com has more than 23 million members in its DNA network and 23andMe boasts more than 12 million customers worldwide. It’s never been easier to track down that great-great-grandmother from Norway.

We’re also watching professional historians do it on television. We tune in to shows like Antiques Roadshow, Who Do You Think You Are?, and Finding Your Roots. Ancestry sells. Genealogy is having a pop culture moment.

But why now? What are we searching for? Genealogist Bernice Bennett says, “There may be some people who are looking to find that they’re connected to Pocahontas, trying to find somebody famous, but you also have others who are saying there’s something missing. Who am I? How can I find that information, and how can it make me feel whole?”

In other words, we’re searching for belonging. We want to recognize ourselves. Our own sense of being and purpose can be reaffirmed when we see ourselves in the generations that have come before us. We are hard-wired for such connection, but many of us feel adrift. Genealogy research and programs tap into an unmet need.

Possible Preaching Angles:

Longing for belonging is an age-old desire. It’s one reason the Bible is chock-full of genealogies that trace the connections between generations of the early Hebrew people. Those who-begat-whom passages that modern readers tend to want to gloss over, were pivotal to an understanding of identity and wholeness in the ancient world.

Like many parents of grown children, Sadhana and Sanjeev Prasad of India are frustrated at the lack of grandchildren in the picture. But, the Prasads resorted to a desperate tactic to force their son’s hand. They are suing him.

The couple's legal representative said, “They raised him, educated him, made him capable, made him a pilot -- which was expensive.” The Prasad’s filed a suit against their son and daughter-in-law, seeking damages in the amount of 50 million Indian rupees, or about $643,000 in US dollars. “They see people in their neighborhood playing with their grandchildren and feel like they should also have one. They said they didn't marry (their son and daughter-in-law) off so that they can live alone. So, they said, in the next year, either give us a grandchild or give us compensation.”

According to CNN, such lawsuits are rare, but they highlight the strong familial traditions in India, where carrying on the family line is of utmost importance. Lawsuits like this reflect the inevitable conflicts that arise from generational shifts in perspective that include a stronger focus on work and career over raising a family.

Possible Preaching Angle:

When we struggle with frustration, uncertainty, and anxiety, lashing out does not get us any closer to what we want. Rather, we are instructed to trust God for our needs, and remain loving and patient with those around us.

Moms and dads understandably experience a great deal of worry and uncertainty when choosing a parenting style. A recent article by Good Housekeeping's Editor and Chief, Jane Francisco, offered this advice:

When my son was a toddler, I struggled with the concept of discipline, how to know what was too much … or not enough. So, I called up my dad, a teacher for decades, and asked him what parenting style he thought yielded the most well-adjusted kids. His answer was pretty simple: You can’t really go wrong as long as a) your child clearly understands that they are loved unconditionally and b) your approach to discipline is consistent, regardless of how strict (or not!) you are.

The takeaway? I probably won’t mess up my kid too badly as long as I deliver love and consistency (and don’t accidentally put him out with the recycling!). My dad’s “recipe” certainly calms me when the idea of parenting becomes overwhelming, and I hope it has the same effect on you ... there is no single “right” way — and being a parent can be an adventure as original as you are.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Raising God's children is a weighty task. If you're not concerned about how you do it, you're likely doing it wrong. But parenting is simpler than we make it. Love them unconditionally, show them consistency, and don't put them out with the recycling.

Anfernee Simons, fourth year guard for the Portland Trail Blazers, has been carrying the burden of high expectations. After spending two years mostly riding the bench and a third up-and-down year in a backup point guard role, this has been his breakout year. With two stars players out on extended injury leave, Simons has been called upon for a massive uptick in playing time and scoring.

The pressure sometime results in Simons being down on himself, especially if he isn’t playing particularly well. He doesn’t want to let down his teammates, the coaching staff, his mentors, or the fans that cheer for him.

Despite a recent slump in production from Simons, none of that burden seemed evident during a recent game against the Atlanta Hawks. That night, Simons played free and easy, recording a career-high 43 points on 13-21 shooting. Asked what changed, his answer was simple: “I really can’t take credit for how I played tonight. Sadly, my grandpa died last night from cancer. This is all him, honestly. I give credit to him, dedicated this whole game to him.”

Simons had just returned from visiting his grandfather, Jake Carter, with whom he had a close relationship during his developmental years. Several days prior, Simons had been required to enter the COVID-19 health protocols, which required him to be away from the team. So, he chartered a private plane and made a trip back to Florida to visit Carter. It was a refreshing time of family connection.

Simons said, “It was a bittersweet moment cause, obviously, I didn’t know it was the last time I would actually see him. I’m kind of optimistic in those kinds of scenarios. But it kind of worked out how it was supposed to.”

Though Carter later passed away after Simons returned, he obviously had no regrets. “I knew kind of in the back of my mind that it was going to be a great night because he’s there. My Papa was there to help me along the way.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

Even in our latter years, we can still impact generations to come with love, faithfulness, and wisdom that will help them along in their success.

1.3 million people in the Netherlands are older than 75—and one large supermarket chain is making sure they’re not getting too lonely in their elder years.

The Dutch government with its campaign, “One Against Loneliness,” has galvanized towns, companies, and individuals to find solutions. The grocer giant, Jumbo, is doing their part with its innovative chatty check outs.

The idea for the “Kletskassa,” which translates to “chat checkout,” originated more than two years ago—and in the summer of 2019 the first chat checkout was opened. This resulted in many positive reactions from customers—and now Jumbo is expanding the initiative further. In 2022, there will be chat checkouts in 200 stores across the country where people can go for a conversation.

Colette Cloosterman-van Eerd, CCO of Jumbo, is closely involved in the initiative. She says,

Many people, especially the elderly, sometimes feel lonely. As a family business and supermarket chain, we are at the heart of society.

Our stores are an important meeting place for many people and we want to play a role in identifying and reducing loneliness. We are proud that many of our cashiers like to take a seat behind a “chat checkout.” They want to help people to make real contact out of genuine interest. It is a small gesture, but very valuable, especially in a world that is digitizing and getting faster and faster.

Hopefully the Dutch national movement towards supporting older people will catch on in many more countries around the world.

When 72-year-old Randy Long was cleaning out his garage he came across some practice baseballs he used to toss around with his son and grandson. Thinking a new generation of kids might get some use out of them, the senior took them to a local batting cage, where he left them along with a sentimental note that might just bring even the manliest of men to tears:

Hope someone can use some of these baseballs in the batting cages. I found them cleaning my garage. I pitched them to my son and grandson for countless rounds. My son is now 46 y/o and my grandson is 23 y/o. I am 72 and what I won’t give to pitch a couple of buckets to them. They have both moved away. If you are a father cherish these times. You won’t believe how quickly they will be gone.

God bless,

P.S. Give them a hug and tell them you love them every chance you get.

“Kids don’t want adults in their lives.” How many times have you heard something like that expressed in the church? It can make people think that what young people in the church need are youth groups for building relationships with one another. But a Barna study called “Faith for Exiles” found that young people who grew up in the church and are still committed to core Christian beliefs and practices are far more likely to have had:

• Meaningful relationships with adults in the church than those who are no longer Christian (77% compared to 27%)
• Feel connected to those older than them (65% compared to 20%)
• Admire the faith of their parents (72% compared to 16%)

And don’t look to pastors to do all the work. Four in ten resilient disciples were mentored as young people by an adult other than their pastor or church staff. Amongst those that have left the church, less than one in ten had the same experience.

All summer long four-hear-old Dylan Stitch was afraid to dive off the diving board. Dylan's mom, Marla said, “He had no interest in it, ever. We were just saying, 'Hey, you want to give it a shot? You want to give it a try?’”

Enter 95-year-old Daniel Biss, who was in the Air Force during World War II and the Korean War. He knows a thing or two about fear and bravery. So, when he saw a neighbor kid at a family pool party, and heard everyone trying to coax him off the board, he knew exactly what Dylan needed.

Daniel said, “Just needed some convincing, I guess. I was going to try." So, Daniel borrowed a swimsuit, and with cane in hand stepped up to set the example. The great-grandfather hadn't been on a diving board in 50 years. Yet he stood up on one, ready to teach a lesson in courage, which nearly turned into a lesson in first aid.

Marla said, “Everyone kind of held their breath and got real nervous like, ‘Oh, was this a bad idea?’” Daniel said, “I was up there that far, I figured I may as well go through with it.” So, at the age of 95, he dove for Dylan.

It wasn't the prettiest dive, but he couldn't have done better--because shortly after Daniel took his last jump off a diving board, Dylan took his first. Marla said, “It was really neat that that inspired him to do it. It was a neat moment." Today Dylan jumps with no problem. Hopefully his courage will now inspire you, with whatever leap you need to make.

In Hillbilly Elegy, the best-selling memoir of growing up amidst poverty and family breakdown in Appalachia, J.D. Vance expresses gratitude for all the mentors in his life. He especially mentions his grandparents, Mamaw and Papaw, his older sister Lindsey, and others. Vance writes:

At every level of my life and every environment, I have found family and mentors and lifelong friends who supported and enabled me. But I often wonder: where would I be without them? I think back on my freshman year of high school, a grade I nearly failed, and the morning when my mom walked in to Mamaw's house demanding a cup of clean urine [to enable her to pass a drug test]. Or years before that when I was a lonely kid [without a dad involved in my life] and Papaw decided that he would be the best that he could be for as long as he lived. Or the months I spent with [my older sister] Lindsay, a teenage girl acting as a mother while our own mother lived in a treatment center. Or the moment I can't even remember when Papaw installed a secret phone line in the bottom of my toy box so that Lindsay could call Mamaw or Papaw if things got a little too crazy. Thinking about it now, about how close I was to the abyss, gives me chills.

In an interview with Esquire magazine, film producer and director J.J. Abrams (Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Lost) shared that his biggest influence as a child was his maternal grandfather, Harry Kelvin. Kelvin owned an electronics business where Abrams remembers his grandfather (in Abrams' words) "would take apart radios and telephones, all kinds of electronics, and explain why and how they worked. In a way, when I was a little kid, he was more of a father figure than my father; like most dads of that era, mine was always busy working."

Relatives said that J. J. was the son his grandpa never had. They would go on adventure walks together, walking around the neighborhood and making up stories. Esquire noted, "When you think about it, storytelling is a lot like electronics—it's all about how you take things apart and why each piece is necessary and where it fits in. The same is true of magic and illusion. That's what filmmaking is all about."

Kelvin also took Abrams on the Universal Studios tour. Abrams was seven or eight years old. "It was this aha moment for me," he says. "I saw how movies used illusion in this grand way. They talked about technology in a way that was fascinating. The use of cameras and special effects and different techniques—it just felt like the answer to a question I didn't even know I was asking. Suddenly I realized: This is the thing I want to do."

Sin's ability to disintegrate the soul is the subject of a book by a Duke professor named Dan Ariely. In The Honest Truth about Dishonesty: How We Lie to Everyone—Especially Ourselves, Ariely is astounded by how widespread tendency is to cheat, be self-centered, lie, and be deceitful.

Ariely says, "Over the course of many years of teaching, I have noticed that there typically seems to be a rash of deaths among students' relatives at the end of the semester. It happens mostly in the week before final exams and before papers are due." Guess which relative most often dies? Grandma. I am not making this stuff up.

Mike Adams, a professor at Eastern Connecticut State University, has done research on this. He has shown that grandmothers are ten times more likely to die before a midterm exam, and nineteen times more likely to die before a final exam. Worse, grandmothers of students who are not doing well in class are at even higher risk. Students who are failing are fifty times more likely to lose Grandma than non-failing students. It turns out that the greatest predictor of mortality among senior citizens in our day is their grandchildren's GPA. The moral of all this is, if you are a grandparent, do not let your grandchildren to go to college. It'll kill you, especially if he or she is intellectually challenged.

In Mitch Albom's book Have a Little Faith, he recounts the following conversation with his elderly rabbi:

"When I was growing up in the Bronx," the Reb said, "everyone knew everyone. Our apartment building was like family. We watched out for one another. I remember once, as a boy, I was so hungry, and there was a fruit and a vegetable truck parked by our building. I tried to bump against it, so an apple would fall into my hands. That way it wouldn't feel like stealing. Suddenly, I heard a voice from above yelling at me in Yiddish, 'Albert, it is forbidden!' I jumped. I thought it was God."

Who was it? I asked. "A lady who lived upstairs." I laughed. Not quite God. "No. But, Mitch, we were part of each other's lives. If someone was about to slip, someone else could catch him."

Gregory Spencer writes in Awakening the Quieter Virtues:

One of the louder virtues in American culture is efficiency. It's what makes the clock of capitalism tick. We are remarkably skilled at getting things done, at thinking "yes, we can," and then putting forth our best effort to accomplish many tasks in a short time. Often efficiency serves us well. But this way of valuing time can tick-tock into our worldview, leading us to measure everything by the stopwatch. Time: we march against it, beat it, save it, manage it, spend it, and try not to kill it or waste it. If efficiency becomes a dictator instead of a servant, generosity is usually oppressed. We feel we must fill days with industrious busyness.

When my daughters were young, I too frequently bemoaned how little time I could give to writing. One friend said, "Your girls will only be toddlers once. Don't worry so much about being productive." Another friend gestured to my daughters and said, "Spence, here are your publications!" These friends encouraged me to view time…by the opportunity presented, time according to what the season calls for. Time well used…is time that appropriately meets the needs of the moment, not…time measured by the demands of the clock.