Happiness

In May 2020, two months after the world shut down due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Tim Keller was diagnosed with a particularly invasive and lethal form of cancer. The following year, in an essay for The Atlantic titled “Growing My Faith in the Face of Death,” he gave powerful voice to his sadness—and his unshakable hope.

Keller wrote, “[My wife] Kathy and I cried a lot together last night. Sometimes the reality of the shortness of what we have left just overwhelms us.” But then nstead of trying to “make a heaven out of this earth”—whether through things like vacations (in Kathy’s case) or ministry productivity (in Tim’s)—they were coming to apprehend a surprising truth: When you stop trying to manufacture heaven, it actually enhances earthly joys:

The joys of the earth are more poignant than they used to be… There’s a whole lot of things [Kathy and I] never really enjoyed that much. But the more we make heaven into the real heaven, the more this world becomes something we are actually enjoying for its own sake—instead of trying to make it give us more than it really can. So oddly enough . . . we’ve never been happier. We’ve never enjoyed our days more. We’ve never enjoyed hugs more. We’ve never enjoyed food more. We’ve never enjoyed walks more. We’ve never enjoyed the actual things we see, touch, taste, hear, and smell more. Why? What’s the matter with us? And the answer is, we got our hearts off those things and so, weirdly enough, we enjoy them more.

Researcher Arthur C. Brooks’ artist mother painted with watercolor. Brooks writes:

Over her many-decades career… her one constant in her work, however, was excellent technique… Growing up, I could draw a little myself and enjoyed doing so, but I never had her talent. Once, I asked her how I could improve. I expected her to say something like “Practice 10,000 hours.” Instead, she told me to look at what I wanted to draw. This baffled me because that’s obviously what I thought I had been doing, as I said to her.

“You probably aren’t,” she explained. “People almost never actually look carefully at anything; they glance at it and then rely on their brain to fill in the details—which it doesn’t, leading to crummy drawing.” So I did as I was told, and looked long and hard at what I wanted to draw at that moment: a tree. I found that I noticed much more about its contours, colors, and shadows. I drew each detail, meticulously—and sure enough, it turned out to be a pretty well-drawn tree.

More than that, I loved the experience of really looking: It was both creative and immersive. What my mom was telling me to do, I came to understand, was savor the encounter of seeing something deeply and drawing it carefully. And this kind of savoring, it turns out, can be applied to many areas of life in ways that help us become more adept at living and much happier.

Possible Preaching Angles:

1. Gratitude, Thanksgiving -- Savoring has been defined as “the capacity to attend to, appreciate, and enhance the positive experiences in one’s life.” In other words, focusing on an experience in order to give thanks.
2. Savoring could also mean paying attention to Scripture or the character of God, etc.

A New York Times interview with Yale “happiness professor” Lauri Santos, exemplifies the ways in which the happiness studies movement lets us down. Santos’s research focuses on cognition and cognitive development in dogs and monkeys. But she has been teaching a popular course on human happiness since 2018, and producing podcasts about happiness with millions of downloads.

At the end of the interview, the Times asks, “So what’s the answer? What’s the purpose of life?” Santos answers: “It’s smelling your coffee in the morning. [Laughs.] Loving your kids. Having sex and daisies and springtime. It’s all the good things in life. That’s what it is.” In other words, she doesn’t know.

Here's an additional comment from the article: “Santos says some good and important things. But when she reaches her positive prescriptions, we find we can gain equally useful insights from greeting cards and embroidered samplers—in fact, better. At least the platitude “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade” responds to the problem of suffering. “Have all the good things” doesn’t. What is the secret to enjoying the good things? What shall we say to the people who have them all, but find they aren’t enough? Between 1999 and 2019, suicide rates increased by 33 percent—and that was before the pandemic. I suspect that a lot of the people comprehended by that statistic smelled coffee, liked sex and daisies and springtime, and at least tried to love their kids.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

It turns out the true happiness is not found in circumstances but in our relationship with our Creator. Only He promises “fullness of joy” (Ps. 16:11; Isa. 55:11).

Researcher Arthur C. Books told the following story about how we all can benefit from self-control and waiting.

My father-in-law, with whom I was very close, spent most of his life on the same working-class street in Barcelona’s El Clot neighborhood. Born in 1929, he saw Spain’s bloody civil war taking place literally in front of his house. His family experienced a lot of suffering. Some died; others spent years in jail or were forced into exile. He himself spent a year in a refugee camp, an experience that affected him for the rest of his life. Every time he wanted to make a point about society or culture, he always started with: “Well, during the civil war …”

One evening, a few months before he died, he read in his local paper an article of mine about unhappiness. “You have a lot of complicated theories,” he told me, “But the real reason people are unhappy is very simple.” I asked him to elaborate. “They don’t enjoy their dinner,” he responded. I asked him what he meant. “Well, during the civil war, we were always hungry,” he said. “But one day a year—Christmas—we got to eat whatever we wanted, and we were so happy. Today, people snack all day long, are never hungry, don’t enjoy their dinners, and aren’t happy—even on Christmas.”

He was not wrong in his main contention: Happiness rises, paradoxically, when you do not get whatever you want, whenever you want it. Rather, well-being requires that you discipline your will and defer your gratifications. Understanding this and taking action to change your habits can make you a much happier person.

Since 2002, the World Happiness Report has used statistical analysis to determine the world’s happiest countries. In its 2024 update, the report concluded that Finland is the happiest country in the world.

To determine the world’s happiest country, researchers analyzed comprehensive Gallup polling data from 143 countries for the past three years, specifically monitoring performance in six particular categories: gross domestic product per capita, social support, healthy life expectancy, freedom to make your own life choices, generosity of the general population, and perceptions of internal and external corruption levels.

Six out of the top seven happiest countries in the world for 2024 were Northern European countries. Finland took top honors—for the tenth year in a row—with an overall score of 7.741, followed (in order) by Denmark (7.583), Iceland (7.525), Sweden (7.344), Israel (7.341), the Netherlands (7.319), and Norway (7.302).

Where does the United States rank on the list of the world’s happiest countries? The United States rank 23rd with a score of 6.73. (This was below the UK (#20), Slovenia (#21), and the United Arab Emirates (#22).

The least happy country in the world for 2024 was Afghanistan, whose 143rd-place ranking of 1.721 can be attributed in part to a low life expectancy rate, low gross domestic product rates per capita, and perhaps most importantly, the recent Taliban takeover of Afghanistan. Rounding out the bottom five are Lebanon (2.707), Lesotho (3.186), Sierra Leone (3.245), and DR Congo (3.295).

You can view the entire report here

Possible Preaching Angle:

This article did overlook the happiest country – the “heavenly country” that we pilgrims anticipate: “Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one” (Heb. 11:16); "You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore." (Psalm 16:11).

Googly eyes have been appearing on sculptures around the central Oregon city of Bend, delighting many residents and sparking a viral sensation covered widely by news outlets. On social media, the city shared photos of googly eyes on installations in the middle of roundabouts that make up its so-called “Roundabout Art Route.” One photo shows googly eyes placed on a sculpture of two deer, while another shows them attached to a sphere.

A Facebook post received hundreds of comments, with many users saying, “We love the googly eyes. This town is getting to be so stuffy. Let’s have fun!”

Now, after months of speculation, the mystery of the googly eyes has finally been solved. Jeff Keith is the founder of the nonprofit Guardian Group that combats human trafficking. But in his free time Keith apparently also battles boredom, because he claimed responsibility for placing googly eyes on public art sculptures around the city of Bend, Oregon.

Keith, who used duct tape to attach the googly eyes, admitted, “It’s a (way) for me to cope with some pretty heavy stuff," Keith said to an AP reporter. He noted the "unimaginable trauma" that many of the trafficking victims he's worked with have experienced.

The city of Bend shared photos of the googly-eye-decorated art, noting that adhesives can damage the art. According to city officials, eight sculptures were affected, and it cost $1,500 to remove all the googly eyes.

Keith said he didn’t anticipate the attention and offered to pay for any damages. After he came forward, a spokesperson for the city said its post had been misunderstood, and that the intention was to raise awareness about the damage adhesives can do to public art.

Keith hopes his pranks bring humor to people's lives. “I think the biggest thing is, for me, just to get a laugh,” he said. “When I come up on these roundabouts and I see families laughing, like hysterically laughing at these, it makes for a good time.”

Editor’s Note: You can see an example of the googly eyes here

Possible Preaching Angle:

While it is never a good idea to deface public art or buildings, we can appreciate the attempt to bring humor into people’s lives. As Proverbs says, “a cheerful heart is good medicine” (Prov. 17:22).

Yale psychologist June Gruber has confirmed the many positive physical, social, and psychological benefits of human happiness. But while working at the University of California-Berkeley she also started to see a dark side to happiness—or at least the pursuit of happiness.

In her clinical language she put it this way: “Happiness serves a specific function, and happiness may not always be adaptive” (that is, happiness might not be the most appropriate or helpful response).

Pursuing happiness is not always a good thing. Paradoxically, studies reviewed by Gruber and colleagues in their recent paper show that people who place the highest value on pursuing happiness tend to be less happy and more prone to depression.

Gruber says,

Setting your sights on happiness as the end goal may inadvertently be setting yourself up for disappointment. If you want to live a rich and happy life, it might be better to stop pursuing happiness so aggressively. Instead, engage in meaningful activities especially those that promote deep connections with others, while trying to [accept] your current emotional state, wherever it is.

Best-selling author Arthur C. Brooks is an expert on happiness research. But he also honestly shares about his own struggle with finding true satisfaction in life:

I have fallen into the trap of believing that success would fulfill me. On my 40th birthday I made a bucket list of things I hoped to do or achieve. They were mainly accomplishments only a wonk could want: writing books and columns about serious subjects, teaching at a top school, traveling to give lectures and speeches, maybe even leading a university or think tank. Whether these were good and noble goals or not, they were my goals, and I imagined that if I hit them, I would be satisfied.

I found that list when I was 48 and realized that I had achieved every item on it. But none of that had brought me the lasting joy I’d envisioned. Each accomplishment thrilled me for a day or a week—maybe a month, never more—and then I reached for the next rung on the ladder.

I’d devoted my life to climbing those rungs. I was still devoting my life to climbing—working 60 to 80 hours a week to accomplish the next thing, all the while terrified of losing the last thing. The costs of that kind of existence are obvious, but it was only when I looked back at my list that I genuinely began to question the benefits—and to think seriously about the path I was walking.

And what about you? Your goals are probably very different from mine, and perhaps your lifestyle is too. But the trap is the same. Everyone has dreams, and they beckon with promises of sweet, lasting satisfaction if you achieve them. But dreams are liars. When they come true, it’s … fine, for a while. And then a new dream appears.

Married people average 30 percentage points more happy than unmarried Americans. So, there’s a lot at stake when one swipes left or right. In an article for The Free Press, Rob Henderson lays out a gaggle of unexpected statistics on the self-selective narrowing of the dating pool that cumulatively suggest something bleak. As dating has become hyper-optimized toward one’s desires, it’s had the effect of making relationships harder. His solution? Stop swiping and settle down:

Previous generations didn’t have many options, so they stuck together through hard times and made it work. Now, abundance (or its illusion on dating apps) has led people to feel less satisfied. People are now more anxious about making a choice and less certain that the one they made was correct.

One classic study found that consumers were more likely to buy a jam when they were presented with six flavors compared to 30. And among those who did make a purchase, the people presented with fewer flavors were more satisfied with their choice.

These two factors — demanding more of your partner and understanding that abundance is not always favorable or desirable — should be a lesson that will guide us toward healthier and more fulfilling relationships. Shutting off the dating apps and reducing our choices will actually give us a greater appetite for love.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Of course, this advice makes a whole lot more sense if one understands love to be self-giving for the benefit of another, as opposed to something like self-fulfillment.

While booze has, for thousands of years now, been the most socially acceptable form of self-medication, its many health detriments have pushed some to seek alternatives: shrooms, weed, pharmaceuticals, kratom, or some other wellness industry offering.

But why not just skip the drugs? What’s so bad about sobriety? In an article in Vox, Rebecca Jennings notes: “The world is really tough. The world has only gotten more anxiety-inducing and more challenging over the past decade or so. People are looking to numb out, they want to medicate their anxiety.”

But Jennings concludes with some startling observations about the movement, ones that point well beyond alcohol replacements:

There’s a dream that basically everyone in the world shares. It’s the dream of an alcohol that isn’t quite alcohol but almost is — a substance that will make you feel free and happy and sexy and chatty but also won’t get you addicted, won’t shave years off your life, won’t make you groggy and achy and anxious the next day. It’s the dream of a substance from which taking an entire month off as part of an annual challenge would be laughably absurd because why would anyone ever need a break from it?

Possible Preaching Angle:

If this sounds like the search for utopia, you’d be right. For her part, Jennings is deeply skeptical this utopia is ever possible: “Such a substance could never be more than fantasy because of course human beings would find a way to render it destructive.” But for Christians there is the always available, always effective promises of God (Psa. 23:1-3; Phil. 4:6-7).

For Mike Witmer, it began as a neighborly holiday game. Now it has become an enduring tribute. The Witmer’s Christmas lights were already up when Mike heard that his daughter’s friend from the swim team, Kevin, age 11, was coming home from the hospital, having been hospitalized with cancer. So, Mike decided to write “Get Well Kevin” in lights, and Mike’s wife told Kevin’s folks to swing through their court on their way home from the hospital.

Kevin loved the display, and he asked his mom, “Do you think Mr. Witmer will put my name in lights every year?” When Mike heard that his heart crushed and he thought, “Well, how can I not?” Kevin’s cancer went into remission, but every year Mike would hide the words “Hi” and “Kevin” in his display for Kevin to find it--like a Where’s Waldo? game between them.

Sadly, Kevin’s cancer returned, and he died at age 19. Mike spoke at Kevin’s funeral, telling the mourners he’d be making his “Hi Kevin” sign bigger that year, so Kevin would be able to see it from heaven. It has been on Mike’s garage roof every Christmas ever since.

“In the beginning,” Mike said, “my annual ‘Hi Kevin’ was just a silly gesture to a really nice kid who had been through some tough times. But it has been my honor to keep the salute going for his friends and family.”

Giant companies that study us in hopes of unearthing insights that can help them sell more potato chips, laundry detergent, and lipstick have reached a conclusion that economists and pollsters have also found. We are unhappy—squeezed by inflation, troubled by global conflicts, and worried about an acrimonious election season. The companies are calibrating their pitches to entice us to open our wallets as a way of improving our collective mood.

Clorox thinks it can help with a new toilet bomb, a tablet of cleaner that foams and fizzes in the toilet bowl and releases a pleasant scent. “People are looking for a spark of fun and joy,” said Clorox’s general manager of cleaning. “We all know the world can get messy, but we understand the link between a clean environment and one’s physical and emotional well-being.”

As part of what Clorox calls a “consumer-obsessed” approach, staffers started using artificial-intelligence tools to scan digital media for new ideas. The Foaming Toilet Bomb is its first product from this initiative.

Procter & Gamble combs societal trends to select a scent of the year. So, P&G declared “Romance & Desire” its scent of the year, and bequeathed it to anxious Americans in the form of new Febreze air fresheners with a fragrance of pink rose petals and champagne spritz. The product line is intended to offer a sensory reminder of the importance of human connection, the company said.

Do you ever feel like you’re too busy to enjoy life? If so, that’s because you are probably too busy. Not that this is some amazing diagnosis: Most people are too busy.

According to surveys conducted in recent years by the Pew Research Center, 52 percent of Americans are usually trying to do more than one thing at a time, and 60 percent sometimes feel too busy to enjoy life. When it comes to parents with children under the age of 18, a full 74 percent said that they sometimes feel too busy to enjoy life.

Psychologists John and Julie Schwartz Gottman write:

While every partnership is unique, with its own set of challenges, there’s one thing that all couples have in common: We want to be appreciated. To be acknowledged for our efforts. We want to be seen.

The No. 1 phrase in successful relationships: “Thank you.”

A thriving relationship requires an enthusiastic culture of appreciation, where we’re as good at noticing the things our partners are doing right as we are at noticing what they’re doing wrong. But it’s easy to fall into the trap of only seeing what your partner is not doing. You develop a narrative where you’re the one putting in all the effort, and you start to believe it’s true. Getting rid of this toxic mindset requires building a new one: scanning for the positives and saying “thank you.”

You probably say “thank you” all day long, almost without thinking, to your colleagues, to the bagger at the supermarket, or to the stranger who holds the door for you. But in our most intimate relationships, we can forget how important saying “thank you” really is.

For many couples we found that when one person started the cycle of appreciation, it became easy for the other to join in and strengthen it. Notice that they washed the breakfast dishes, answered phone calls, picked up the toys strewn all over the living room, and made you coffee when they went to make one for themselves.

Thank them for something routine that they’re doing right, even if it’s small, even if they do it every day—in fact, especially if it’s small and they do it every day! But don’t just say “Hey, thanks.” Tell them why that small thing is a big deal to you: “Thank you for making the coffee every morning. I love waking up to the smell of it and the sounds of you in the kitchen. It just makes me start the day off right.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

If saying “thank you” is crucial in human relationships, let’s remember how much more important it is to offer praise and gratitude to our Heavenly Father for all his grace and acts of kindness to us (Ps. 22:3; Ps. 100:4; 1 Pet. 2:9).

Lee So-hee, a 30-year-old office worker, used to live alone in Seoul. That changed in November when a friend gave her a rock. “If you really think of your rock as a pet, I do think it makes things a bit less lonely and more fun,” she said.

Pet rocks, a kooky and best-forgotten fad of 1970s America, are resurfacing in South Korea.

South Koreans, who endure one of the industrialized world’s longest workweeks, have a tradition of unwinding in unusual ways. They have lain in coffins for their own mock funerals, checked into prison to meditate, and gathered in a Seoul park each year for a “space-out” contest.

Pet rocks are the latest new thing. Lee, a 30-year-old researcher at a pharmaceutical company, made her pet rock a winter blanket from an old towel. It came into her life during a demanding stretch at work when she was working long hours in the lab, often late into the night.

“I’d occasionally complain to my rock about what a tiresome day I had at work,” she said. “Of course, it’s an inanimate object that can’t understand you. But it’s kind of like talking to your dog, and can feel relaxing in some ways.”

Choi Hye-jin, a 39-year-old Seoul homemaker, picked up a stuffed cloth trinket in the shape of a rock at a tourist shop next to one of South Korea’s famed rock formations. She takes pictures of it when traveling and has brought it to concerts and autograph-signing events of her favorite singer, who now recognizes her because of it, she said.

Maybe money does buy happiness, after all—especially if you can afford more of it than your pals.

That’s according to the findings of a recent working paper distributed by the National Bureau of Economic Research. The paper used a survey of Dutch households to determine whether believing you’re in better financial standing than your peers can impact your beliefs and behavior.

The most striking finding? Believing you earn more than your peers—whom researchers defined as people of similar age, education, and marital and homeownership status—actually makes you happier.

That impact was evident regardless of actual income, researchers said. In other words, it didn’t matter how much money respondents actually made, only how it compared with others’ earnings. One of the lead authors of the study said, “When you realize your [relative] position is good, then you’re more happy, It’s not about the absolute number.”

As of 2021, around 25% of 40-year-old Americans are not married—the highest percentage ever recorded. In his book, Get Married: Why Americans Must Defy the Elites, Forge Strong Families, and Save Civilization, Brad Wilcox argues that marriage is more important than ever for individuals and for the country. Based on his research he offers two reasons for the flight from marriage.

First, there’s what he calls the “Midas mind-set,” where too many younger Americans assume that life is about education, money, and especially work. One Pew study found that for Americans in general, 71% thought having a job or career they enjoy is the path toward fulfillment and getting married was the path for only 23%.

Wilcox was talking to a graduate student who had a clear plan for schooling and work, and then Wilcox asked, “What’s your plan about marriage and dating?” And there was silence. The student didn’t have a plan. Wilcox said, “I think that’s part of the challenge — that people are not being intentional enough about seeking opportunities to meet, date, and marry young adults in their world.”

Second, there’s what Wilcox calls the “soul mate myth”—the idea that there’s some perfect person out there waiting for you. Once you find them and love them and then marry them, you’ll have this perfect connection that engenders intense emotional connection, sense of romance, passion that in turn leads you to be happy and fulfilled most of the time. Wilcox argues, “Any kind of serious relationship, including marriage, is going to be at times deeply challenging and hard and require a lot of work.”

In her book, The Toxic War on Masculinity, author Nancy Percy writes that research has found that evangelical protestant men who attend church regularly are the least likely of any group in America to commit domestic violence.

But nominal Christian family men do fit the negative stereotypes of bad husbands … shockingly so. They spend less time with their children. Their wives report significantly lower levels of happiness, and their marriages are less stable. Whereas active evangelical men are 35% less likely to divorce than secular men, nominal Christian men are 20% more likely to divorce than secular men.

Finally, the real stunner: whereas committed church-going couples report the lowest rate of violence of any group (2.8 percent), nominal husbands report the highest rate of any group (7.2 percent)—even higher than secular couples. Sociologist Brad Wilcox, one of the nation’s top experts on marriage, writes, “The most violent husbands in America are nominal, evangelical protestants who attend church infrequently or not at all.”

Percy summarizes: “It seems that many nominal men hang around the fringes of the Christian world just enough to hear the language of headship and submission, but not enough to learn the biblical meaning of those terms—like skimming the news headlines without reading the actual stories. They cherry pick verses from the Bible and read them through a grid of male superiority and entitlement.”

The Hallmark and Lifetime networks are known for their holiday movies each year. They bring in impressive television ratings, perhaps aided by how easy they are to leave on while, say, baking cookies.

They also have something of a reputation for following a very specific story line. For example, a recently dumped, high-powered female executive from the city finds new love, purpose, and appreciation for Christmas in a small town with the help of a handsome local fellow.

So just how formulaic are these movies? The New York Times analyzed all of them available up to January 2024. The analysis asked: Do they all have a happy ending? The article concluded:

Do you even have to ask? In many endings, the woman does leave her job and the city in favor of the town (and her new man). But there were a couple of twists within the standard happy ending. For instance (spoilers ahead), in ‘Jingle Bell Bride’ (2020), a New York City wedding planner in search of a rare flower meets a handsome botanist in rural Alaska. But he’s the one who ends up following her back to the big city.

And in “A Glenbrooke Christmas” (2020), a woman taking over her family’s Los Angeles-based real estate company does decide to move to a small town to be with a fire chief. But she will still operate as C.E.O. remotely!

One Hallmark executive said, “We always say that whatever our woman’s path is, that her relationship is icing on the cake. If she’s career driven, or there’s some goal that she has, that’s what she’s going for.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

Marriage; Relationship – In life in general and marriage in particular—happy endings are almost never this easy or simple. There is usually suffering and disappointment, but the Lord can cause us to grow through these trials.

People living in remote Indigenous communities are as happy as those in wealthy developed countries despite having “very little money,” according to new scientific research. This could challenge the widely held perception that “money buys happiness.”

Researchers who interviewed 2,966 people in 19 Indigenous local communities across the world found that on average they were as happy – if not happier – as the average person in high-income western countries.

According to researchers, “Surprisingly, many populations with very low monetary incomes report very high average levels of life satisfaction, with scores similar to those in wealthy countries. I would hope that, by learning more about what makes life satisfying in these diverse communities, it might help many others to lead more satisfying lives.”

The study found that people in the 19 isolated communities reported an average “life satisfaction score” of 6.8 out of 10 “even though most of the sites have estimated annual monetary incomes of less than US $1,000 per person.”

This is roughly the same as the 6.7 average life satisfaction score for all countries in the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD). Surprisingly, four of the small communities reported average happiness scores of more than 8, which is higher than that found in Finland, the highest-rated country with an average of 7.9.

The report says its findings proves that wealth – as generated by industrialized economies – is not fundamentally required for humans to lead happy lives.