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A viral screenshot recently sparked debate after someone received a text message offering support during a divorce. The message, “I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through such a tough time. It’s very normal to feel what you’re feeling for a while. Love is a hard come down,” struck the recipient as oddly impersonal and “canned.” Suspicion grew when a friend pointed out the straight apostrophes-a hallmark of AI-generated text, such as those produced by ChatGPT.
Since ChatGPT’s 2022 launch, people have increasingly turned to AI for help with emotionally difficult messages-breakups, condolences, even wedding vows. Public reaction is often negative, with critics lamenting the loss of genuine human connection and the rise of awkward, robotic phrasing. The phrase “Love is a hard come down” became emblematic of this disconnect: a human in pain seeking comfort, and receiving what felt like a digital ghostwriter’s response instead.
Why do people turn to AI? Because expressing support during someone’s crisis is notoriously hard. Many struggle to find the right words, sometimes choosing silence (ghosting) over risking an awkward reply. In this context, using ChatGPT at least ensures a response is sent-even if it lacks warmth.
This dilemma is not new. For centuries, people have grappled with what to say in the face of grief or hardship. Google searches like “What to say to someone…with cancer…who is dying” reveal an endless need for guidance. Sitting shiva (sitting with someone in mourning) is not something you can really do in the metaverse. Are you supposed to mute yourself during a Zoom funeral?
Ultimately, the most important rule remains unchanged: Show up. Bring some bagels.
Source: Matthew Schnipper, “My Deepest Condolences. Signed, ChatGPT,” The Atlantic (10/3/24)
A new study reveals the alarming impact of TikTok on young adults’ body image, showing that just 7 to 8 minutes of exposure to certain content can significantly damage one’s body image.
Researchers studied female TikTok users aged 18 to 28. Participants were split into two groups: one watched what the authors deemed “pro-anorexia” and “fitspiration” content, while the other viewed neutral videos like nature and cooking clips. Interestingly enough, both groups reported a decrease in their self-esteem after watching the videos. But those exposed to fitspiration content had the greatest decrease in body image satisfaction.
This isn’t an isolated finding. Other studies have shown that prolonged social media use is linked to increased anxiety, depression, and disordered eating behaviors.
One of the most concerning aspects is how widespread this content is. 64% of participants reported seeing disordered eating videos on their For You page without searching for it. Even seeking out positive content on TikTok can lead to inadvertent exposure to harmful material.
The study’s findings add to the ongoing discussion of the negative impact of social media on the mental and physical health of young adults. Earlier in 2024 at a U.S. Senate hearing that included TikTok CEO Shou Chew, senators made one thing clear: tech companies need to be held responsible for not protecting young users from harm.
“You have blood on your hands,” said Sen. Lindsey Graham in his opening remarks. “You have a product that’s killing people … You can’t be sued, you should be!”
The study shows that it only takes a few minutes on TikTok to cause serious damage. In order to protect one’s body image, it might be time for young adults to rethink how they use social media.
Source: Emily Brown, “Study: It Only Takes Seven Minutes on TikTok to Ruin Your Self-Esteem,” Relevant Magazine (8-12-24)
A surefire way to never get hurt: Imagine a life free from heartache and disappointment, a world where you are impervious to the pain that comes with emotional vulnerability. Picture yourself gliding through your days without the sting of rejection or the ache of unfulfilled dreams. Sounds perfect, doesn't it?
After all, you've learned from an early age that vulnerability can lead to pain. A harsh word from a friend, an unreciprocated crush, a family argument, each instance teaches you to guard your heart. This foundational fear shapes your approach to relationships and life. You begin to understand that vulnerability is a double-edged sword, capable of bringing both joy and sorrow. Your instinct to protect yourself becomes the cornerstone of your emotional defenses.
As you grow older, you start constructing your fortress brick by brick. First, you hold back your feelings, and you certainly don't let anyone see your weaknesses. This way, you prevent others from having the power to hurt you. Next, you refrain from sharing your opinions. By keeping your thoughts to yourself, especially on controversial topics, you steer clear of potential conflicts and judgment. You begin to distance yourself from people and avoid deep connections that could lead to betrayal.
This isolation does protect you from immediate pain, but it slowly starts to build a barrier between you and the world. At this point, your defenses are at their peak. You've perfected the art of non-participation, and your emotional fortress is impenetrable.
You've built walls around your heart so high, that you've effectively isolated yourself. The fear of getting hurt has led you to a place where you're no longer living, but merely existing. Your fortress, meant to protect you, has now become a prison. As you reflect on your life within these walls, the consequences of your choices become painfully clear. You've successfully avoided heartbreak, but you've also missed out on love.
Choosing to be vulnerable in our interpersonal relationships requires true faith and humility. No one likes to get hurt and everyone wants to feel safe at all times. The consequences of building an emotional fortress around ourselves are very serious.
Source: Brainy Dose, “A Surefire Way to Never Get Hurt,” YouTube (5-18-24)
Kalina and Shane Pavlovsky planned a beautiful wedding reception at the Barn at Scappoose Creek, Oregon, but were met with disappointment when, out of the 40 guests who RSVP'd, only five showed up.
Kalina told a reporter, “It was a feeling I can’t even describe, having to hold my smile and walk through … the biggest punch that I’ve ever felt.” Of the 40 guests who’d originally responded in the affirmative, Kalina said she’d made direct contact with at least 25 who promised they would come.
The couple’s disappointing reception entrance was caught on video, so she posted it onto TikTok, where it was viewed over 12 million times with more than 20,000 comments. Kalina says she posted it during a lonely moment, but she was also motivated to show off the venue itself, which was tastefully decorated with white lights and draping sheer fabric. She said, “It was just so beautiful, I thought someone has to see it.”
Pavlovsky expressed her feelings about the moment in her TikTok video post. “It just makes me think, like, why? What did we do? Am I that bad of a person? What did my husband ever do to deserve any of this? Why couldn’t we matter enough for people to show up?”
Despite the disappointment, the couple made the best of the situation, but had to cancel planned events like dances and cutting the cake. Despite the hurt caused by the no-shows, Pavlovsky said she's also been touched by the outpouring of support from strangers who saw her story and felt empathy.
“My hope is that people understand how important it is to show up,” she concluded.
1) Faithfulness of God - Unlike some of our flakier friends, God does not ghost us when we need him most. On the contrary, God shows up when we need him most. 2) Promises – When we make a commitment we should keep it. If we have no intention of keeping the commitment, we should be honest to say so.
Source: Aimee Green, “Despite RSVPs, Oregon newlyweds show up to mostly empty wedding reception, in viral TikTok clip,” Oregon Live (11-25-24)
A Snapchat feature lets paying users see their position in their friends’ digital orbits. For some teens, whose friends are everything, it’s adding to their anxiety.
Snapchat+ subscribers can check where they rank with a particular friend based on how often that friend communicates with them. The result is automatically rendered in a solar-system metaphor: Are you Mercury, the planet closest to your friend? Great! Uranus? Bad sign.
“A lot of kids my age have trouble differentiating best friends on Snapchat from actual best friends in real life,” says 15-year-old Callie Schietinger. She said she had her own problems when a boyfriend noticed that he was Neptune in her solar system. He asked who held the Mercury position and when she told him it was a guy friend, he got mad.
More than 20 million U.S. teens use the app, though most don’t pay for Snapchat+. Young adults with those paid accounts have seen friendships splinter and young love wither due to the knowledge that someone else ranks higher on the app. Now, lawmakers, doctors, and parents are giving fuller attention to these apps and how they broadly affect kids’ mental health.
Callie and her boyfriend have since broken up, for other reasons. But that stress and the misunderstandings she has seen other friends experience have soured her on the feature. “It’s everyone’s biggest fear put onto an app,” Callie says. “Ranking is never good for anyone’s head.”
Source: Julie Jargon, “Snapchat’s Friend-Ranking Feature Adds to Teen Anxiety,” The Wall Street Journal (3-30-24)
Parents have another vector of potential harm to monitor besides the most popular social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and X. Bad actors are collaborating on different internet platforms to contact, and actively harm, children, adolescents, and teenagers.
It’s true that plenty of internet safety threats are overblown and exaggerated to create clickbait stories that prey on parents' worst fears. Yet, with growing regularity, some of these fears end up quite justified.
These predatory groups are known for building rapport with their victims and then using blackmail techniques to leverage them into risky behavior. These relationships start friendly but quickly transition into bullying, and often result in the children engaging in self-harm and, in some cases, suicide.
Many users involved in these groups often trade tips and strategies on how to most effectively manipulate their marks, and trade pictures as proof. As a result, many of these forums contain the widespread dissemination of photos showing self-harm.
Most of the activity is happening on Discord and Telegram, which both have extensive features that can facilitate audio and video chatting. Telegram’s communication channels are also encrypted, which makes it difficult for law enforcement agencies to monitor.
Both Telegram and Discord have repeatedly stated that such behavior is a violation of their terms of service, and claim to be working with law enforcement to investigate and remove these users from their networks.
“People are not understanding the severity, the speed at which their children can become victimized,” said Abbigail Beccaccio, who heads the FBI’s Child Exploitation Operational Unit. “These are offenders that have the ability to change your child’s life in a matter of minutes.”
While part of raising children right involves increasing their autonomy and helping them to make their own decisions, parents still must remain vigilant and watchful around their children’s habits, especially their habits online.
Source: Shawn Boburg, et. al, “On popular online platforms, predatory groups coerce children into self-harm,” The Washington Post (3-13-24)
A mere generation ago, “heartbreak” was an overused literary metaphor but not an actual medical event. The first person to recognize it as a genuine condition was a Japanese cardiologist named Hikaru Sato.
In 1990, Dr. Sato identified the curious case of a female patient who displayed the symptoms of a heart attack while testing negative for it. He named it “Takotsubo Syndrome” after noticing that the left ventricle of her heart changed shape during the episode to resemble a takotsubo, a traditional octopus-trap.
A Japanese study in 2001 not only confirmed Sato’s identification of a sudden cardio event that mimics a heart attack but also highlighted the common factor of emotional distress in such patients. It had taken the medical profession 4,000 years to acknowledge what poets had been saying all along: Broken Heart Syndrome is real.
Nowadays, there are protocols for treating the coronary problem diagnosed by Dr. Sato. But although we can cure Broken Heart Syndrome, we still can’t cure a broken heart.
Source: Amanda Foreman, “Broken Hearts and How to Heal Them,” The Wall Street Journal (9-30-23)
For Uwe Holmer, a German pastor, the question wasn’t simple. But it was clear.
The one-time East German dictator Erich Honecker was asking for his help. Honecker had long been an enemy of the church, who had also personally harried and harassed Holmer’s own family for years.
But now the Communist leader had been pushed from power, driven from his home, turned out of a hospital onto the street—and he was asking the Lutheran church to take him in. At one point, Holmer found himself praying for Erich Honecker. He knew how much power the Communist leader had, how he was praised everywhere he went, and how bad that must be for his soul.
Holmer had to decide what he believed. He knew what the answer was.
“Jesus says to love your enemies,” he explained to his neighbors at the time. “When we pray, forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us—“we must take these commands seriously.”
The evangelical minister accepted the deposed dictator into his home in January 1990 and cared for him and his wife Margot for two and a half months. The action shocked Germans, East and West. The 40-year division of the country had just collapsed, and as the Cold War came to a surprising end, the German people didn’t know how they should treat those on the other side.
The until-then unknown pastor offered one bold answer: forgiveness and hospitality. Bitterness, Holmer said, is “not a good starting point for a new beginning among our people.”
Protestors arrived to yell at the minister and demand punishment for Honecker. “No grace for Honecker!” one sign said. Holmer reminded his neighbors of a statue of Jesus in town with Matthew 11:28: “Come to me, all you who are weary … and I will give you rest.” He reminded them of the Lord’s Prayer, asking God to forgive them as they forgave others.
Source: Daniel Silliman, "Died: Uwe Holmer, Pastor Who Forgave a Communist Dictator," Christianity Today (10-2-23)
According to a report in the Wall Street Journal, telecom companies have left behind a sprawling network of cables covered in toxic lead that stretches across the US. The toxic lead exists under the water, in the soil, and on poles overhead. As the lead degrades, it is ending up in places where Americans live, work, and play.
The lead can be found on the banks of the Mississippi River in Louisiana, the Detroit River in Michigan, the Willamette River in Oregon, and the Passaic River in New Jersey. The metal has tainted the soil at a popular fishing spot in New Iberia, Louisiana, at a playground in Wappingers Falls, New York, and in front of a school in suburban New Jersey.
There’s a hidden source of contamination—more than 2,000 lead-covered cables—that hasn’t been addressed by the companies or environmental regulators. These relics of the old Bell System’s regional telephone network, and their impact on the environment, haven’t been previously reported.
Lead levels in sediment and soil at more than four dozen locations tested exceeded safety recommendations set by the US Environmental Protection Agency. At the New Iberia fishing spot, lead leaching into the sediment near a cable in June 2022 measured 14.5 times the EPA threshold for areas where children play. “We’ve been fishing here since we were kids,” said 27-year-old Tyrin Jones who grew up a few blocks away.
For many years, telecom companies have known about the lead-covered cables and the potential risks of exposure to their workers, according to documents and interviews with former employees. They were also aware that lead was potentially leaching into the environment, but haven’t meaningfully acted on potential health risks.
In the same way, unconfessed and unaddressed sin or wounds from our past can leach toxins into our body and into the body of Christ.
Source: Susan Pulliam, et. al, “America Is Wrapped in Miles of Toxic Cables,” The Wall Street Journal (7-9-23)
Jeremy Goodale and Willard Miller were recently convicted for the killing of Fairfield teacher Nohema Graber. Goodale told investigators that Miller was failing her Spanish class and was afraid he wouldn’t be able to go on a study abroad trip. Goodale and his accomplice, Willard Miller, pleaded guilty to first-degree murder in the death of Graber, who disappeared on November 2, 2021, while walking in a local park. Her body was later discovered concealed under a tarp and wheelbarrow.
During the sentencing hearing, Barbara Graber delivered a victim impact statement expressing her readiness to free herself from haunting thoughts of Goodale and Miller. However, what stood out was the unexpected forgiveness extended to Goodale by members of the family. This is a decision that Barbara Graber, Nohema's former sister-in-law, hopes will aid their collective healing.
In a surprising turn of events, several family members expressed not only forgiveness but also prayers for Goodale. Other family members called the crime “a horrific act.” Several said they believed Goodale could have prevented the murder but instead had not only failed to act, but also participated. Yet several also told Goodale that they will be praying for him.
Goodale, in turn, tearfully apologized for his role in Nohema Graber's death. He acknowledged the irreparable loss caused by his actions and expressed regret for not considering the impact on Graber's family, the school, and the broader community. His sincerity was evident as he accepted responsibility and expressed a genuine desire for redemption. The judge stated, "Unlike your co-defendant, it’s clear to me you have regretted your role in Ms. Graber’s murder."
Ultimately, Goodale's 25-year minimum sentence with the opportunity for rehabilitation was seen by the prosecutor and the Graber family as a just outcome. The unexpected act of forgiveness highlighted the family's resilience and their belief in the possibility of redemption, even in the face of such a tragic loss.
The endless grace and mercy of God means that none of us are beyond forgiveness; therefore, living as a Christian means we must learn to forgive others in the way that God forgives us.
Source: William Morris, “Co-defendant, now 18, gets at least 25 years for 2021 murder of Fairfield Spanish teacher,” Des Moines Register (11-15-23)
A Florida man was bitten on the leg by an unexpected visitor: An alligator waiting right outside his door. Daytona Beach resident Scot Hollingsworth was watching TV when he heard a bump at the door. He said, “I jumped up and headed over and opened the door, stepped out while trying to reach the lights and barely got out the door and got my leg clamped on and (it) started shaking really violently. I suspect I surprised the alligator as much as he surprised me.”
He was taken to the hospital with non-life-threatening injuries from the nine-foot gator.
The Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission said that people should keep a safe distance from alligators at all times. You should also keep pets on a leash, swim only in designated areas during daylight hours, and never feed an alligator.
The commission also explains on their website that Floridians can anticipate seeing more alligators than usual as the weather warms up. The reptiles are also most active between dusk and dawn.
Florida is home to a total of around 1.3 million alligators, according to the commission’s website. The agency routinely euthanizes so-called “nuisance” gators, which are four feet long or larger and pose a threat to people or wildlife. The commission says relocated alligators will usually try to return to the site where they were captured and continue to create problems, so they must be euthanized or rehomed to zoos or wildlife rescues.
Satan also lurks in the shadows and is ready to viciously attack any unsuspecting Christian. Our defense is similar, be on guard, and be prepared to resist him by putting on the full armor of God (Eph. 6:10-18).
Source: Zoe Sottile, “A Florida man heard a bump at his door. It was an alligator – and it bit his leg,” CNN (3-18-23)
Navy Seal Admiral, William McRaven, talks about an important lesson Seals learn: Think first of others. In an interview with AARP, he said:
I like to tell the story of Sgt. Maj. Chris Faris, my right-hand man in Afghanistan. One day, I did a Zoom call with my doctor, and she told me I’d been diagnosed with cancer. I needed to go back to the States immediately to have my spleen removed and start chemotherapy. She added, “Your military career is probably over.”
When I got back to my office, Chris was there, and he noticed something wasn’t right. After I told him, he said, “OK, boss, we’ve got the morning briefing coming up, and you need to be there. The troops are counting on you.”
So, we did the video teleconference with thousands of our team members around the world. And before I could say anything, Chris asked someone to put up a list of the people who’d been injured in combat the night before. Then he gave me a look, and I knew what it meant. I had a problem, but it paled in comparison to what these young men and women were going through. That was exactly the right thing to tell me at the time. It helped put my minor problem in perspective.
Source: Hugh Delehanty, “Q&A William McRaven,” AARP Bulletin (April, 2023), p. 30
Tim Keller, told the following story about a man named Hasheem Garrett, who learned the art of forgiveness. Hashim was a 15-year-old, living with his mother and hanging out on the streets of Brooklyn with a gang, when he was shot six times and was left paralyzed from the waist down.
For most of the next year he lay in a New York City hospital, fantasizing about revenge. He later wrote: “Revenge consumes me. All I could think about was, just wait, till I get better; just wait till I see this kid.”
But when he was lying on the sidewalk immediately after his shooting, he had instinctively called out to God for help, and, to his surprise, he had felt this strange tranquility. Now during his rehabilitation, a new thought, struck him, namely, that if he took revenge on this kid, why should God not pay him back for all his sins? He concluded, “I shot a kid for no reason, except that a friend told me to do it, and I wanted to prove how tough I was. Six months later, I am shot by somebody because his friend told him to do it.”
That thought was electrifying … He could not feel superior to the perpetrator. They were both fellow sinners who deserved a punishment—and needed forgiveness.
Hasheem said, “In the end I decided to forgive. I felt God had saved my life for a reason, and then I had better fulfill that purpose … And I knew I could never go back out there and harm someone. I was done with that mindset and the life that goes with it … I came to see that I had to let go and stop hating.”
Source: Tim Keller, Forgive, (Viking, 2022), page 16
In a YouTube video, political commentor Konstantin Kisin reported:
They did an experiment with a group of women and they put scars on their faces. They told these women that they were going into a job interview and that the purpose of the experiment is to find out whether people with facial disfigurements encounter discrimination. They showed the women the scars in the mirror and the women saw themselves with the scars.
Then as they led them out of the room, they said, “We are just going to touch it up a little bit.” As they touched it up, they removed the scarring completely. So, the women went into the job interview thinking that they are scarred, but actually were their normal selves.
The result of the experiment is that those women came back reporting a massively increased level of discrimination. Indeed, many of them came back with comments that the interviewer had made that they felt were referencing their facial disfigurement.
This is why this ideology of victimhood is so dangerous. Because if you preach to people constantly that we’re all oppressed, then that primes people to look for that.
You can view this 60 second video here.
The Bible does recognize the reality of innocent victims, but it stops short of affirming a victim mentality. While the Bible promises that we will experience innocent suffering for the cause of Christ, it nowhere speaks of our being “victims” in the contemporary sense of the word. Rather, the Bible speaks of us as “victors.” You can overcome victim mentality through a relationship with Christ and the Word of God. Christ (1 Pet. 2:22-23), Paul (Phil. 1:12-14), and Joseph (Gen 50:19-21) all show us an example of someone who was victimized but overcame a victim mentality.
Source: Konstantin Kisin, “Facial Scar Discrimination Experiment,” YouTube (5/10/23); Akos Balogh, “Beware the Dangers of a Victim Mentality,” TGC.Au (12/8/20)
We all have an ongoing fear of being ghosted. Ghosting is now so common that it was added in February of 2017 to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary. It describes the phenomenon of leaving a relationship by abruptly ending all contact with the other person, and especially electronic contact, like texts, emails, and chats.
It is a biological fact that rejection or being ostracized can make us feel like we don’t belong and to have feelings of low self-worth. Todd Rose writes in his book: “An entire area of our brain (the anterior cingulate cortex) is constantly on the lookout for even the smallest hint of negative judgment.” Rose refers to studies which show, “A wounded heart, it would seem, can hurt just as much as a broken leg.”
What kinds of snubs can cause distress? The author lists hurtful things such as not being greeted on a bus by a stranger, not getting a quick response after sending an email to a friend, or getting the silent treatment from a partner.”
Rose further writes:
It doesn’t take much for us to experience this social pain. Indeed, psychological research suggests that even the mildest snub can cause distress. Our internal sensors are so attuned to rejection that we feel pain even when it is remote and clearly artificial. Cyberostracism, being ignored or excluded online, produces a similar physical and emotional response. Once it’s switched on, our ostracism alarm only appears to have one setting: full blast.
Jesus understands our feelings of rejection since he himself was despised and rejected (Isa. 53:3; John 1:10-11). Jesus has therefore promised that he will never leave us or forsake us (John 14:18, Heb. 13:5), he actively searches for the lost sheep (Matt. 18:22) and helps those who are downcast (Matt. 11:28-29).
Source: Todd Rose, Collective Illusions, (Hachette Book Group, 2022), pp. 35-36; “Ghosting,” Merriam-Webster.com, (Accessed 5/24/23)
The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) announced an investigation into a traffic incident involving a Tesla striking a pedestrian. Local authorities say the driver of a 2022 Tesla Model Y failed to stop for a school bus while it was dropping off students, and one of the students was struck after having just exited the bus. The NHTSA investigation was triggered because it was believed that the driver of the Tesla was using a partially automated driving system at the time of the crash.
Since 2016, NHTSA investigators have probed extensively into at least 30 different auto accidents involving Teslas using driver-assist technology. These premium options are marketed under terms like “Autopilot” and “Full Self-Driving.” Critics call these options misleading, since Tesla insists that drivers using them must keep their hands on the wheel and maintain vehicular awareness at all times.
Michael Brooks is the executive director of the Center for Auto Safety in Washington. He believes that Tesla has a unique responsibility in addressing these safety concerns.
Brooks said, “I’ve been saying probably for a couple of years now, they need to figure out why these vehicles aren’t recognizing flashing lights for a big starter. NHTSA needs to step in and get them to do a recall because that’s a serious safety issue.”
In February, NHTSA pressure resulted in Tesla recalling more than 300,000 vehicles because their driver assist software was violating traffic laws. Tesla said the problem was corrected via an over-the-air software update, similar to how smartphones receive updates. This action followed a request by the U.S. Department of Justice for Tesla to turn over internal documents related to its “Autopilot” and “Full Self-Driving” features.
When people put too much trust in technology, there can be dangerous consequences. Tech companies must put public safety over profits and innovation.
Source: Associated Press, “Regulators investigate after Tesla hits student leaving bus,” Oregon Live (4-7-23)
We all know trying to get close to people is difficult. We can get hurt. Sometimes it’s tempting to just withdraw. But that can create even worse problems. That’s what Christopher Knight found out.
Back in 1990 at the age of 20, he walked into rural Maine with only the most basic supplies. He had no plan. His chief motivation was to avoid contact with people. He finally emerged in 2017, 27 years later. He had been arrested for stealing from cabins where he was living. In an interview about his decades-long solitary experience, he said:
It’s complicated … Solitude bestows an increase in something valuable. I can’t dismiss that idea. Solitude increased my perception. But here’s the tricky thing: when I applied my increased perception to myself, I lost my identity. There was no audience, no one to perform for. There was no need to find myself. I became irrelevant.
Source: Brian Rosner, How to Find Yourself (Crossway, 2022), page 84
Heather Burke-Cody blogs:
I was thrift shopping for dorm stuff. The cashier appeared to be one of the most unhappy, maddest people ever. I was six people deep in the line, and it seemed like she got more and more exasperated with each passing customer.
She was especially incensed when one of my unmarked items needed a price check …. But as she rang up my items, I felt a ... soul nudge. I tried to bargain with Jesus and told him that the extra little bit of cash in the back side of my wallet was not meant for her. It surely should go to someone sweeter and kinder, more deserving, or at least appreciative maybe. Not someone downright mean and angry. But God did not budge.
The human heart is our very best compass. It rarely leads us astray. So, I paid my bill and reluctantly found the backside of my wallet. I slipped her some cash as she handed me my receipt.
She was caught off-guard by the gesture. She gripped the folded bill with one hand and paused. Then slid her mask down with the other hand. Her loud, stern voice got quiet when she whispered a single word: “Why?” To which I answered two words back: “Soul nudge.”
There was another pause. A brief reckoning of sorts. When she grabbed my hand and held on, I was the one caught off-guard. “Today’s my 75th birthday and ain’t nobody called me. Not my sister. Not none of my kids. None of these people here. Nobody. Nothing. I don’t think I can remember ever being so sad. Ain’t nobody even remembers it’s my birthday.”
Source: Heather Burke-Cody, “Soul Nudges and Heart Tingles,” The Everyday Good (8-12-22)
There is a powerful scene near the end of Wendell Berry’s novel Hannah Coulter. Hannah, the main character of the book, experienced profound mistreatment from her stepmother, Ivy. Hannah held onto the resentment for years until one day she encounters Ivy as an older woman in a grocery store. Wendell Berry writes:
Ivy was wearing a head scarf and a dress that hung on her as it would’ve hung on a chair. She was shrunken and twisted by arthritis and was leaning on two canes. Her hands were so knotted they hardly looked like hands. She was smiling at me. She said, “You don’t know me, do you?”
I knew her then, and almost instantly there were tears on my face. I started feeling in my purse for a handkerchief and tried to be able to say something. All kinds of knowledge came to me, all in a sort of flare in my mind. I knew for one thing that she was more simple-minded than I had ever thought. She had perfectly forgot, or had never known, how much and how justly I had resented her. But I knew in the same instant that my resentment was gone, just gone. And the fear of her that was once so big in me, where was it?
“Yes, Ivy, I know you,” I said, and I sounded kind.
I didn’t understand exactly what had happened until the thought of her woke me up in the middle of that night, and I was saying to myself, “You have forgiven her.” I had. My old hatred and contempt and fear that I kept so carefully so long, we’re gone, and I was free.
Source: Wendell Berry, Hannah Coulter (Counterpoint, 2005), pp. 103-104