Instruction of Children

In today’s digital age, it’s become increasingly common for parents to hand their upset child a smartphone or tablet to calm them down. But could this seemingly harmless practice be hindering children’s emotional development? A new study from researchers suggests that using digital devices as emotional pacifiers may have unintended long-term consequences.

The researchers aimed to understand the relationship between parents using digital devices to regulate their children’s emotions and the development of children’s self-regulatory skills.

Self-regulation is a crucial skill that develops in early childhood. It involves the ability to manage one’s emotions, control impulses, and direct attention. These skills are essential for success in school and later in life. They help children navigate social situations, focus on tasks, and cope with frustration.

Imagine a scenario where a child is having a tantrum in a grocery store. A parent, desperate for a quick fix, hands over their smartphone to distract and calm the child. While this might work in the moment, the study suggests that repeatedly using this strategy could prevent the child from learning how to manage their emotions on their own. Children whose parents often relied on “digital pacifiers” showed more severe emotion-regulation problems, specifically, anger management problems, later in life.

Instead of relying on screens to soothe upset children, parents might consider alternative strategies that help kids learn to manage their emotions. For example, parents could try talking through emotions with their child, using deep breathing exercises, or engaging in a calming activity together like reading a book or coloring. These approaches may take more time and effort in the moment, but they could pay off in the long run by helping children develop crucial self-regulation skills.

Parents are bombarded with a dizzying list of orders when it comes to screen time and young children: No screens for babies under 18 months. Limit screens to one hour for children under 5. Only “high-quality” programming. No fast-paced apps. Don’t use screens to calm a fussy child. “Co-view” with your kid to interact while watching.

The stakes are high. Every few months it seems, a distressing study comes out linking screen time with a growing list of concerns for young children: Obesity. Behavioral problems. Sleep issues. Speech and developmental delays.

Maya Valree, the mother of a three-year-old girl in Los Angeles, understands the risks and constantly worries about them. But limiting her daughter’s screen time to one hour feels impossible as she juggles life as a working parent, she said.

Over the last few years, her child’s screen time has ranged up to two to three hours a day, more than double the limit recommended by pediatricians. Valree puts on educational programming whenever possible, but it doesn’t capture her child’s attention as well as her favorites, Meekah and The Powerpuff Girls.

“Screen time is in the top three or five things to feel guilty about as a mom,” she said. “I’ve used it to pacify my daughter while cooking or working or catching up on anything personal or professional.”

Too much screen time harms children, experts agree. So why do parents ignore them? Parents need to have some type of distraction for their kids, and “screens tend to be the easiest option, the lowest hanging fruit,” said pediatrician Whitney Casares. “I hear more people saying, ‘I know screen time is bad, I wish we had less of it in our family, but I feel helpless to change it.’”

The most recent data available comes from a national survey of nearly 1,500 families with children ages eight and younger conducted in 2020. The survey found that few families were not coming anywhere close to pediatricians’ recommended limits.

• Children under two watch an average of 49 minutes of digital media a day, while the guidelines recommend avoiding screens for children under two.

• Children ages two to four watch an average of two-and-a-half hours a day, more than twice the limit recommended.

• Children five to eight watch just over three hours a day. The American Academy of Pediatricians does not provide strict time limits for school-age children but advises parents to make sure screen time does not displace other activities.

In a new study published in Computers in Human Behavior, a team evaluated 118 children aged three to six and found that overall, kids were more inclined to trust machines over humans.

The study divided children into different groups and showed them videos of humans and robots labeling objects, some recognizable to the kids and other items that would be new to them.

Researchers demonstrated the reliability and trustworthiness of humans and robots by having them incorrectly identify familiar items, calling a brush a plate, for instance. This intentional mislabeling allowed researchers to manipulate the children’s concept of who could and could not be trusted. Interestingly, the children showed a stark preference for robots.

When both bots and humans were shown to be equally reliable, children were more inclined to ask robots questions and accept their answers as true. Even when the robots proved unreliable, children preferred them to reliable adults. Children also appeared to be more forgiving of their machine-friends versus their human ones. When the robots made a mistake, children perceived it as accidental. But when the adults fumbled? Children thought those missteps were intentional.

When asked who they would want to learn from and share secrets with, the majority of children chose the robots over the humans. But that preference might only last for so long: Older children were likelier to trust humans when a robot was shown to be unreliable.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Parents have a God-given responsibility of nurturing trust and educating their children. This profound duty should remain in their hands, not delegated to AI, government, or technology. Embracing this role empowers parents to shape the values and character of the next generation.

A growing number of high-profile tragedies are leading to prosecutions of parents not for their actions, but for their failures to act. One such case involves Elizabeth Puleo-Tague, whose teenager’s fondness for fast, erratic driving led to a crash that killed a passenger in his car. The mother of the boy who was killed wants her prosecuted for parental neglect.

Kiernan Tague, 17, was charged with second-degree murder in the death of his friend Flynn MacKrell after his vehicle, a BMW X3, lost control at 105 miles per hour and collided with a tree. Flynn's mother, Anne Vanker, believes that Puleo-Tague should be held responsible for her son's actions due to her negligence.

“To say this is a living hell is an understatement," said Flynn's mom, Anne Vanker, in an interview. “My life has been ruined. No one should ever, ever have to lose a child like this ... I still can’t believe my son — my big calm son — is gone.”

Vanker says that Kiernan’s mother, Elizabeth Puleo-Tague, should be held legally liable for Flynn’s death. An investigation by the local prosecuting attorney revealed a history of Puleo-Tague pleading with Kiernan to slow down. Despite her repeated warnings and the use of a safety app, Kiernan continued to engage in dangerous driving.

Months before the crash, Puleo-Tague had been receiving notifications from a safety app called Life360, informing her of Kiernan’s aggressive driving. Kiernan had even taken a photo of his Audi’s speedometer exceeding 140 miles per hour.

Texts show that Puleo-Tague repeatedly begged her son to change his ways, but he refused. But not only did she fail to stop her son from continuing in his reckless ways, she bought an even faster car—the BMW—and left the keys at home during a trip to Canada.

In her request for charges, Vanker compared Puleo-Tague to James and Jennifer Crumbley, who are serving 10-year sentences in prison because they failed to take a rifle away from their son Ethan Crumbley, who eventually took the lives of several people at his school.

"She was sitting on a ticking time bomb. She knows he's out of control, yet she basically gets him a weapon," Vanker said. "It's like she handed him an AR-15."

Possible Preaching Angle:

Regardless of the outcome of the case, the tragedy serves as a stark reminder of the importance of addressing reckless behavior in young people, and of the potential consequences of parental neglect.

High fives, fist bumps, and words of encouragement are given freely by the Flash Dads. The Flash Dads program was launched seven years ago by Jefferson County Public Schools in Kentucky, and there are now several dozen members. The men go to elementary schools across Louisville and line up to greet students, cheering them on and getting the day started on a positive note.

Participant Roger Collins said, The Flash Dads are "community members showing up for students who sometimes don't have anybody showing up for them." Another member of the Flash Dads, James Bogan, heard about it through his grandson, and signed up so he could surprise him one day at school. "It's contagious and I've been doing it ever since," he said.

The Flash Dads take their duties as role models and mentors to heart, and Bogan said the students know "we're not just there that day. We're there whenever you need us. It's not a one-day thing, it's a lifetime thing."

If you’re a young parent, you’re probably used to hearing “Why?” a lot! With that in mind, a new survey finds moms and dads field an average of 11 questions from their young children each day.

A new poll of 2,000 parents of kids under six finds that between being asked “What?” (37%), “When?” (22%), and “Why?” (11%), parents are always on call when their kids get curious.

Children most commonly ask questions to better understand the world around them, such as asking about animals, nature, current events, and home experiences. When asked about the most interesting question their child has ever asked, parents mentioned “Why is the sky so high?” and “Why can fish keep their eyes open in water?”

Children’s questions may be frequent, but they aren’t always easy, as parents admit they can confidently answer an average of only 42% of their child’s questions. Poll results also reveal that 81% of parents learn just as much from their child as their child learns from them. The average parent learns something new from their child about five times per week, and four in five parents are surprised by their child’s knowledge of certain topics.

By now you’ve probably heard about the Alaska Airlines flight in early January that experienced a sudden loss of pressure when a mechanical failing in the Boeing Max 9 caused a door plug to pop out midflight. Many consider it a miracle that the flight was able to safely land without any fatalities or even major injuries.

For the FAA and the NTSB, the crisis did not end when the flight landed safely back at Portland International Airport. Both agencies needed to get to the bottom of how and why the door plug flew off in the first place. This required locating any of the debris that flew off midflight, including the door plug, which is the size of a normal airplane exit door.

Enter Bob Sauer. Sauer works as a science teacher in the area of Portland in the plane’s flight path. Sauer heard that NTSB authorities were searching for debris in his area. So, on a rainy Sunday night, he took a flashlight into his dark backyard to see if he could spot anything that seemed out of place. Sure enough, dangling midair among a small grove of cedar trees, was something that didn’t belong.

Sauer told a reporter, “It was definitely an airplane part. It had the same curvature that the fuselage has, and had a window in it.” Sauer called an NTSB hotline, and sent a few photos of his discovery. Within a day or so, investigators descended on his property, excited to confirm that it was indeed the door plug.

It turns out the plane was not directly overhead when the door plug failed, but landed in Sauer’s yard because of the several scientific factors. In light of this, Sauer used the incident as a teaching moment, and spent the first fifteen minutes of his astronomy class Monday morning explaining the discovery and relating it to the principles of terminal velocity, such as the plane’s airspeed, and wind speed, and air resistance during its descent.

Sauer was glad it hadn’t landed on his house; something that size moving at that velocity would’ve punched a hole in his roof.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Christian parents can follow this example and find teachable moments in life and use them to instruct their children. Teachable moments involve using everyday situations to illustrate biblical principles and teach children about God and faith. These moments can be tailored to the child's age and comprehension level, showing them the biblical relevance to their lives.

Moms and dads understandably experience a great deal of worry and uncertainty when choosing a parenting style. A recent article by Good Housekeeping's Editor and Chief, Jane Francisco, offered this advice:

When my son was a toddler, I struggled with the concept of discipline, how to know what was too much … or not enough. So, I called up my dad, a teacher for decades, and asked him what parenting style he thought yielded the most well-adjusted kids. His answer was pretty simple: You can’t really go wrong as long as a) your child clearly understands that they are loved unconditionally and b) your approach to discipline is consistent, regardless of how strict (or not!) you are.

The takeaway? I probably won’t mess up my kid too badly as long as I deliver love and consistency (and don’t accidentally put him out with the recycling!). My dad’s “recipe” certainly calms me when the idea of parenting becomes overwhelming, and I hope it has the same effect on you ... there is no single “right” way — and being a parent can be an adventure as original as you are.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Raising God's children is a weighty task. If you're not concerned about how you do it, you're likely doing it wrong. But parenting is simpler than we make it. Love them unconditionally, show them consistency, and don't put them out with the recycling.

Want your kids to do better in school? Church might be the answer, according to a study conducted by the University of Notre Dame. An article titled, “God, Grades, and Graduation,” suggests that religion can play a critical role for success.

According to the study, abiders are youth who remain active in religious communities and who have adopted their family’s faith as their own. They “are likely to have an academic advantage because religion and schools are complementary institutions.” In particular, “adolescents who thrive in one institution are likely to thrive in the other.”

Among the survey’s participants, the probability of getting grades of all or mostly A’s was about 10% higher among "abiders" than among non-religious students in the same socioeconomic group. According to Professor Horwitz, at Tulane University, a religious foundation can actually overcome challenges associated with growing up in lower socioeconomic circumstances.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Our society treats faith as a game people choose to play, a tradition to be mindlessly followed. But a foundation of faith has far-reaching implications. When we lose faith, we lose our way.

The hottest new book in the Lake Hazel branch of the Ada Community Library had a waiting list more than 50 people strong. But it wasn’t just word-of-mouth advertising that propelled the book into must-read territory. It was also its exclusivity. Unlike most mass-produced works on library shelves, The Adventures of Dillon Helbig’s Crismis is one-of-a-kind. And its author Dillon Helbig is eight-years-old.

Dillon made his authorial intent clear when, after writing and illustrating his 81-page creation by hand at home, he snuck it onto a library shelf during a recent visit with his grandmother. After returning home, he admitted the scheme to his mother, who immediately called the library to ask if anyone had seen it.

“It was a sneaky act,” said branch manager Alex Hartman. Dillon himself admitted this, calling his clandestine act “naughty-ish.” Nevertheless, Hartman was impressed, calling the book “far too obviously a special item for us to consider getting rid of it.” Hartman eventually read it to her six-year-old son, who loved it. She said:

Dillon is a confident guy and a generous guy. He wanted to share the story. I don’t think it’s a self-promotion thing. He just genuinely wanted other people to be able to enjoy his story. ... He’s been a lifelong library user, so he knows how books are shared.

The other librarians agreed that it met the criteria for inclusion onto its stacks. So, Hartman got Dillon’s permission to add a barcode to the back of The Adventures of Dillon Helbig’s Crismis, and officially added it to the collection. They also gave Dillon a Best Young Novelist award, which they created specifically for him.

Dillon’s mom said, “His imagination is just constantly going, and he is a very creative little boy. He just comes up with these amazing stories and adventures, and we just kind of follow along.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

Just like these librarians encouraged Dillon, we should also encourage the young people we encounter. We can promote their gifts and talents and prepare them to keep on serving others.

What does it take to raise children who will continue in the faith as adults? A study from the Barna Group set out to study what they call “resilient disciples,” that is, 18-29-year olds who attend church regularly, trust in the Bible, are personally committed to Jesus, and with a desire to influence broader society.

They found that “resilient disciples” make up only 10% of young people who grew up Christian. Another 38% attend church regularly, but do not meet core beliefs and behaviors associated with being an engaged disciple. 30% identify as Christian, but no longer attend church, and 22% have left the faith altogether.

Here are the five traits of a “resilient disciple”:

1. They experience intimacy with Jesus

2. They practice cultural discernment

3. They have meaningful spiritual relationships

4. They engage in counter-cultural mission

5. They have a sense of calling in their life and work

Philip Ryken writes in “He Speaks to Me Everywhere”:

During one memorable at-bat the spring of my son's first baseball season, he repeatedly hit the tee instead of the ball. And it was obvious what the problem was. He wasn't keeping his eye on the ball; he was looking right at me instead. He was unable to get a base hit until finally I stepped out of sight.

We joked about that the rest of the season, but what the incident shows is the power of fatherly approval. My son wanted me to take pleasure in his accomplishment even before he accomplished it.

I observed the same desire at work the time he caught a pop fly. Before he threw the ball over to the first base to complete the double-play, he glanced over his shoulder to make sure I'd seen his catch.

In a way, I'm touched that my son wants me to take pleasure in his success. But I'm also awestruck by my responsibility as a father. A father's love means almost everything to a child. It establishes his or her identity. It brings peace, security, and joy.

If a father's affection matters so much, then it had better be the kind of affection that is just as strong after a strikeout as it is after a grand slam.

Max Lucado writes in the “Cure for the Common Life”:

The bank sent me an overdraft notice on the checking account of one of my daughters. I encourage my college-age girls to monitor their accounts. Even so, they sometimes overspend.

What should I do? Send her an angry letter? Admonition might help her later, but it won't satisfy the bank. Phone and tell her to make a deposit? Might as well tell a fish to fly. I know her liquidity. Zero. Transfer the money from my account to hers? Seemed to be the best option. After all, I had $25.37. I could replenish her account and pay the overdraft fee as well. Since she calls me Dad, I did what dads do. I covered my daughter's mistake.

When I told her she was overdrawn, she said she was sorry. Still, she offered no deposit. She was broke. She had one option, "Dad, could you…" "Honey," I interrupted, "I already have." I met her need before she knew she had one.

Long before you knew you needed grace, your Father did the same. He made an ample deposit. Before you knew you needed a Savior, you had one. And when you ask him for mercy, he answers, "Dear child. I've already given it."