Love for Enemies

In a landmark moment in U.S. legal history, the family of Christopher Pelkey utilized artificial intelligence to create a video of him delivering a victim impact statement at the sentencing of his killer. Pelkey, a 37-year-old Army veteran, was fatally shot during a road rage incident in Chandler, Arizona, in November 2021. His sister, Stacey, collaborated with her husband and a friend to produce the AI-generated video, which featured Pelkey's likeness and voice, conveying messages of forgiveness and compassion.

The AI-generated Pelkey addressed his killer, Gabriel Paul Horcasitas, stating, “In another life, we probably could have been friends.” He expressed his belief in forgiveness, and in a God who forgives, saying, “I always have and I still do.” Wales wrote the script for the video, reflecting her brother's faith and forgiving nature. Judge Todd Lang, who presided over the case, was moved by the video and commented, “As angry as you are, as justifiably angry as the family is, I heard the forgiveness.” Horcasitas was sentenced to 10.5 years in prison for manslaughter.

In response, the Arizona Supreme Court has convened a steering committee focused on AI and its use in legal proceedings. Chief Justice Ann Timmer acknowledged the potential benefits of AI in the justice system. But she also cautioned against its misuse, stating, “AI can also hinder or even upend justice if inappropriately used.” Its mission includes developing guidelines and best practices to ensure the responsible use of AI, mitigating potential biases, and upholding the principles of fairness and justice.

Possible Preaching Angle:

The power of forgiveness, the importance of bearing witness to truth, and the ethical uses of technology are all integral aspects of living a Christ-centered life.

On a June afternoon in 2018, a man named Mickey Barreto checked into the New Yorker Hotel. He was assigned Room 2565, a double-bed accommodation with a view of Midtown Manhattan almost entirely obscured by an exterior wall. For a one-night stay, he paid $200.57.

But he did not check out the next morning. Instead, he made the once-grand hotel his full-time residence for the next five years, without ever paying another cent.

In a city where every inch of real estate is picked over and priced out, and where affordable apartments are among the rarest of commodities, Mr. Barreto had perhaps the best housing deal in New York City history. Now, that deal could land him in prison.

The story of how Mr. Barreto, a California transplant with a taste for wild conspiracy theories and a sometimes tenuous grip on reality, gained and then lost the rights to Room 2565 might sound implausible. Just another tale from a man who claims without evidence to be the first cousin, 11 times removed, of Christopher Columbus’ oldest son. But it’s true.

In jail before he was released on his own recognizance, Mr. Barreto said he used his one phone call to dial the White House, leaving a message about his whereabouts. There was no reason to believe the White House had any interest in the case or any idea who Mickey Barreto was. But you could never quite tell with Mickey — he’d been right once before.

Whatever his far-fetched beliefs, Mr. Barreto, now 49, was right about one thing: an obscure New York City rent law that provided him with many a New Yorker’s dream.

Possible Preaching Angles:

(1) Satan; Temptation - Like a bad tenant who won’t leave an apartment, we allow sin to overstay it’s welcome in our lives; (2) Resentment or Anger—People in recovery often say, “Don’t let that person live rent free inside your head”—which means don’t hold on to your resentments over people who have hurt you. Let the hurt go.

For Uwe Holmer, a German pastor, the question wasn’t simple. But it was clear.

The one-time East German dictator Erich Honecker was asking for his help. Honecker had long been an enemy of the church, who had also personally harried and harassed Holmer’s own family for years.

But now the Communist leader had been pushed from power, driven from his home, turned out of a hospital onto the street—and he was asking the Lutheran church to take him in. At one point, Holmer found himself praying for Erich Honecker. He knew how much power the Communist leader had, how he was praised everywhere he went, and how bad that must be for his soul.

Holmer had to decide what he believed. He knew what the answer was.

“Jesus says to love your enemies,” he explained to his neighbors at the time. “When we pray, forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us—“we must take these commands seriously.”

The evangelical minister accepted the deposed dictator into his home in January 1990 and cared for him and his wife Margot for two and a half months. The action shocked Germans, East and West. The 40-year division of the country had just collapsed, and as the Cold War came to a surprising end, the German people didn’t know how they should treat those on the other side.

The until-then unknown pastor offered one bold answer: forgiveness and hospitality. Bitterness, Holmer said, is “not a good starting point for a new beginning among our people.”

Protestors arrived to yell at the minister and demand punishment for Honecker. “No grace for Honecker!” one sign said. Holmer reminded his neighbors of a statue of Jesus in town with Matthew 11:28: “Come to me, all you who are weary … and I will give you rest.” He reminded them of the Lord’s Prayer, asking God to forgive them as they forgave others.

Jeremy Goodale and Willard Miller were recently convicted for the killing of Fairfield teacher Nohema Graber. Goodale told investigators that Miller was failing her Spanish class and was afraid he wouldn’t be able to go on a study abroad trip. Goodale and his accomplice, Willard Miller, pleaded guilty to first-degree murder in the death of Graber, who disappeared on November 2, 2021, while walking in a local park. Her body was later discovered concealed under a tarp and wheelbarrow.

During the sentencing hearing, Barbara Graber delivered a victim impact statement expressing her readiness to free herself from haunting thoughts of Goodale and Miller. However, what stood out was the unexpected forgiveness extended to Goodale by members of the family. This is a decision that Barbara Graber, Nohema's former sister-in-law, hopes will aid their collective healing.

In a surprising turn of events, several family members expressed not only forgiveness but also prayers for Goodale. Other family members called the crime “a horrific act.” Several said they believed Goodale could have prevented the murder but instead had not only failed to act, but also participated. Yet several also told Goodale that they will be praying for him.

Goodale, in turn, tearfully apologized for his role in Nohema Graber's death. He acknowledged the irreparable loss caused by his actions and expressed regret for not considering the impact on Graber's family, the school, and the broader community. His sincerity was evident as he accepted responsibility and expressed a genuine desire for redemption. The judge stated, "Unlike your co-defendant, it’s clear to me you have regretted your role in Ms. Graber’s murder."

Ultimately, Goodale's 25-year minimum sentence with the opportunity for rehabilitation was seen by the prosecutor and the Graber family as a just outcome. The unexpected act of forgiveness highlighted the family's resilience and their belief in the possibility of redemption, even in the face of such a tragic loss.

Possible Preaching Angle:

The endless grace and mercy of God means that none of us are beyond forgiveness; therefore, living as a Christian means we must learn to forgive others in the way that God forgives us.

Tim Keller, told the following story about a man named Hasheem Garrett, who learned the art of forgiveness. Hashim was a 15-year-old, living with his mother and hanging out on the streets of Brooklyn with a gang, when he was shot six times and was left paralyzed from the waist down.

For most of the next year he lay in a New York City hospital, fantasizing about revenge. He later wrote: “Revenge consumes me. All I could think about was, just wait, till I get better; just wait till I see this kid.”

But when he was lying on the sidewalk immediately after his shooting, he had instinctively called out to God for help, and, to his surprise, he had felt this strange tranquility. Now during his rehabilitation, a new thought, struck him, namely, that if he took revenge on this kid, why should God not pay him back for all his sins? He concluded, “I shot a kid for no reason, except that a friend told me to do it, and I wanted to prove how tough I was. Six months later, I am shot by somebody because his friend told him to do it.”

That thought was electrifying … He could not feel superior to the perpetrator. They were both fellow sinners who deserved a punishment—and needed forgiveness.

Hasheem said, “In the end I decided to forgive. I felt God had saved my life for a reason, and then I had better fulfill that purpose … And I knew I could never go back out there and harm someone. I was done with that mindset and the life that goes with it … I came to see that I had to let go and stop hating.”

Amber Guyger is a former Dallas police officer who has been found guilty of murdering Botham Jean. The case became a national story because of the circumstances surrounding the crime, which included allegations of racism. Guyger is white and was a police officer; Botham Jean was an African American. Guyger shot and killed him in his own home—alleging that she had mistakenly entered the wrong apartment and thought he was a burglar.

Guyger has been sentenced to 10 years imprisonment. Many people outside the courtroom have decried the sentence, insisting that it is far too lenient. Inside the courtroom, another voice was heard, Brandt, the brother of Botham Jean. Brandt gave a statement in which he forgave Amber Guyger and explained that he did not wish her any harm. He instead encouraged her to look to Christ. Brandt looked at Guyger and told her that he loved her. He then asked the Judge if he could approach Guyger and give her a hug.

It is worth taking 4 minutes to watch and listen to Brandt Jean’s words. The weeping in the courtroom is palpable, with even the Judge wiping tears from her eyes. According to CNN, shortly afterwards the Judge, Tammy Kemp, handed Guyger a Bible to take with her, saying, “You can have mine. I have three or four more at home. This is the one I use every day. This is your job for the next month. This is where you start, John 3:16 “For God so loved the world …”

You can watch the 4-minute video here.

Possible Preaching Angle:

We are also guilty for crimes against God. But in his grace and mercy, “when you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins …” (Col 2:13).

In 1977 the heart icon became a verb. The “I❤️NY” Logo was created to boost morale for a city that was in severe crisis. Trash piled up on the streets, the crime rate spiked, and New York City was near bankruptcy. Hired by the city to design an image that would increase tourism, Milton Glaser created the famous logo that has since become both a cliché and a meme. After the 9/11 terrorist attacks, New Yorkers had tragic reasons for loving their city all the more. Glaser even designed a modified version of his logo: "I❤️NY More than Ever.”

A few years earlier, a new graphic form appeared that also played on the heart image. In 1999 the Japanese provider NTT DoCoMo released the first emoji made specifically for mobile communication. The original 176 emoji’s were rendered in black and white, before they were painted one of six colors. Among the original 176 emojis there were five of the heart. Today our online messages are regularly punctuated by heart emojis in multiple colors and combinations.

Possible Preaching Angle:

According to Scripture, believers are specifically commanded to “heart” the Lord our God (Matt 22:36-37), our neighbor (Matt. 22:36-39), other believers (John 13:34-35), and our spouses (Eph. 5:25, Tit. 2:4). We are not to “heart” the world (1 Jn. 2:15-16) or money (Heb. 13:5).

Louie Anderson had a career that included a slew of small but memorable roles in seminal 1980’s films, such as Flashdance, Quicksilver, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and Coming to America. Anderson was always open about his upbringing--a childhood that was marred by his father's alcoholism. He once shared: "One time my dad goes, ‘I hate that guy.’ I go, ‘You don’t even know him.’ He goes, ‘I don’t need to know someone to hate them, Louie.'”

His childhood left him embittered towards his dad, until he learned about his father's life struggles. Louie grew up in a St. Paul housing project as one of 11 children. He said: “My dad had a 10 times harder life than mine." Anderson went on to reveal that when his father was around 10 years old, he and his sister were taken out of their home and placed for adoption. He said “[They were] split up and never saw each other for 50 years. Because ‘put up for adoption’ meant that you were put up in front of a church congregation and families picked you and took you. Imagine being with your sister and having her go one place and you go another.”

This helped Louie understand why his father acted the way he did: "So, I go, I’m sorry, Dad.' Forgiveness was easy for me when I found that out."

Possible Preaching Angle:

Instead of dwelling on what "they" did to you, maybe we should spend time understanding what life struggles led them to act the way they did. Scripture teaches us that living apart from Christ is difficult. We should never be surprised when an unsaved person acts unsaved. Pause and just imagine being in their shoes, going through what they are enduring apart from Christ. Afterwards, we may just find that forgiveness will come.

The old adage tells us to “forgive and forget,” but does that line up with the church’s understanding of forgiveness? Does showing mercy really require that we no longer remember the wrongdoing?

Pastors are half as likely as their congregations to say that real forgiveness requires forgetting. Pastors are also more likely than those in the pews to say it’s about “restoring a relationship but not forgetting.” Either way, forgiveness can be di­fficult for us to extend—around a quarter of practicing Christians know someone they can’t or don’t want to forgive.

Percent of practicing Christians who identify with each experience:

Received unconditional forgiveness from someone – 55%

Have not received unconditional forgiveness – 38%

Know someone they don’t want to forgive – 27%

Know someone they can’t forgive – 23%

Have not offered unconditional forgiveness – 15%

On October 16th, 2021, a notorious Haitian gang abducted 17 missionaries from a US-based organization. Five children were believed to be among those kidnapped, including a two-year-old. The 400 Mawozo gang was also blamed for kidnapping five priests and two nuns earlier this year in Haiti. The gang routinely carries out kidnappings, carjackings, and extortion of business owners.

The mission organization, Christian Aid Ministries (CAM), ministers in scores of countries. In Haiti, its long-term work involves providing school supplies for children, medicines for clinics, and food for the elderly, as well as distributing Bibles and Christian literature. The hostages had been visiting an orphanage supported by CAM. And yet, family members of the captors have been united in their desire to pray for, bless, and forgive the gang members.

Here are some of the public statements from CAM family members:

• The kidnappers, like all people, are created in the image of God and can be changed if they turn to Him. While we desire the safe release of our workers, we also desire that the kidnappers be transformed by the love of Jesus, the only true source of peace, joy, and forgiveness.
• One father of a hostage said this about the kidnappers, “We are interested in the salvation of these men and we love them.”
• Another father of a hostage said, “As a family we are giving forgiveness to these men. We are not holding anything against them.”

Though this time was difficult, the families are united in their desire to follow Jesus’ teaching of forgiveness.

Stephen Olford tells the story of Peter Miller, a Baptist pastor during the American Revolution. Miller, lived in Ephrata, Pennsylvania, and one of his dearest friends was General George Washington. In the town of Ephrata there also lived a spiteful troublemaker named Michael Wittman who did all he could to oppose and humiliate Miller.

One day, Wittman was arrested for treason and sentenced to death. When he heard the news, Miller set out to Philadelphia to plead for the life of his enemy. After walking seventy miles—on foot—Miller petitioned his friend, General Washington, to spare Wittman’s life.

“No, Peter,” General Washington said. “I cannot grant you the life of your friend.”

“My friend?” exclaimed the old preacher. “He’s not my friend. In fact, he is the bitterest enemy I have.”

“What?” cried Washington. “You’ve walked seventy miles to save the life of an enemy? That puts the matter in different light. I’ll grant your pardon.” And he did.

That day, Miller and Wittman walked back home to Ephrata together. When they arrived home, they were no longer enemies. They were friends.

Eva Kor and her sister Miriam were the subjects of horrific experiments at the hands of Josef Mengele at the Auschwitz concentration camp during World War II. In 1995, Eva returned to Auschwitz for the 50th anniversary of their liberation. She asked Dr. Hans Munch (who signed death certificates at the camp) to join them and sign an affidavit acknowledging what happened. Dr. Munch agreed.

Eva explains what happened afterwards:

I was so glad that I would have an original document witnessed and signed by a Nazi … to add to the historical collection of information we were preserving for ourselves and for future generations. I was so grateful that Dr. Munch was willing to come with me to Auschwitz and sign that document about the operation of the gas chambers, and I wanted to thank him. But how can one thank a Nazi doctor?

For ten months I pondered this question. All kinds of ideas popped into my head until I finally thought, how about a simple letter of forgiveness from me to him? Forgiving him for all that he has done? I knew immediately that he would appreciate it, but what I discovered once I made the decision was that forgiveness is not so much for the perpetrator, but for the victim. I had the power to forgive. No one could give me this power, and no one could take it away. That made me feel powerful. It made me feel good to have any power over my life as a survivor.

In an interview before her death, Eva shared: “If I had discovered forgiveness sooner, I would have had that 50 years of my life back. Forgive. See the miracle that can happen.”

There was a boom, then the house shook. Daylan McLee thought for a minute it was a small earthquake until a relative came running inside to say there had been a car crash involving a police cruiser outside the apartment in Uniontown, Pennsylvania.

McLee ran outside and pulled an officer from the mangled patrol car as flames began to spread into the cabin. Police officials and others have credited McLee with saving the officer’s life after the Sunday evening crash. McLee said it wasn’t a complicated decision to help another human being. But even some of his close friends wondered if he hesitated because of his previous interactions with law enforcement officers.

McLee said, “No. There is value in every human life. We are all children of God and I can’t imagine just watching anyone burn. No matter what other people have done to me, I thought, ‘this guy deserves to make it home safely to his family.’”

McLee had filed a lawsuit in 2018 against four Pennsylvania State Police troopers for wrongful arrest after he spent a year in jail related to a 2016 fight outside a bar. He had rushed to the bar after his sister called saying she needed a ride home because a fight had broken out. When McLee arrived, he disarmed a man who was standing in the parking lot with a gun and threw the weapon aside.

At least one trooper fired shots at McLee as he fled. The trooper said McLee pointed a weapon at him twice, but security footage showed McLee disarming the man, discarding the gun quickly, and fleeing when shots were fired.

McLee, a Black man, spent a year in jail before a jury acquitted him on the charges after reviewing the video. That was a year away from his children, and a year away from his mother, who was ill at the time. She passed away last year.

But McLee stressed forgiveness, saying he couldn’t blame every police officer for bad interactions he had with any others:

We need to work on our humanity ... that’s the main problem of this world. We’re stuck on how to get up or to get even, and that is not how I was raised to be. You learn, you live, you move on and I was always taught to forgive big. You can’t base every day of your life off of one interaction you have with one individual. I don’t want to be called a hero. I just want to be known as an individual who is an upstanding man. And I hope (that trooper) sees this and knows he’s forgiven.

It was late at night and a group of Jewish teenagers were on a walk around the Chestnut Hill Reservoir in Massachusetts. Boston College Police Officer Carl Mascioli was on patrol on May 17, that night. "As I approached them, two of them ran up to my car," said the patrolman. They said, "There was a body in the water."

Mascioli ran down the embankment and found a man partially submerged and not moving. He said, “While I was pulling him out of the water, I observed that he had a swastika on his hand ... It turned out the man the Jewish boys helped save had a tattoo of the Nazi symbol. I … let the gentlemen know sometimes some deeds have a funny way of turning around. Their good deed had a little bit of a twist to it.”

The students, who study at a nearby Yeshiva high school in Brighton, were not permitted to speak with reporters about the incident. But they had a message for the officer to share with the man they helped rescue. Mascioli recalled, “They wanted just to let him know that it was four young Jewish boys that helped save his life.” He said the students had no regrets about helping a man with an anti-Semitic tattoo. “A good deed is a good deed and that's part of life. We should be helping everybody out.”

It's unknown how the man ended up in the water. But police say he didn't have much time left, and if it hadn't been for the teenagers, the patrolman likely wouldn't have seen him. The man is expected to recover.

While seeking to better understand the nature of aggression, David Chester of Virginia Commonwealth University, along with Nathan DeWall of the University of Kentucky, started studying revenge. They discovered that a person who is insulted or socially rejected feels an emotional pain. The area in the brain associated with pain was most active in participants who went on to react with an aggressive response after feeling rejected. Chester said, “It’s tapping into an ancient … tendency to respond to threats and harm with aggressive retaliation.”

In a follow-up study he was surprised to find that emotional pain was intricately yoked with pleasure. That is, while rejection initially feels painful, it can quickly be masked by pleasure when presented with the opportunity to get revenge. It even activates the brain's known reward circuit, the nucleus accumbens. People who are provoked behave aggressively precisely because it can be a rewarding experience. Revenge really can be sweet.

Possible Preaching Angle:

In contrast to the desire of our old nature, God wants believers to forgive those who harm them, love their enemies, and pray for those who persecute them so that we show the world what God is like.

One-third of Americans say they lie awake at least a few nights a week. You can try meditation or medication, but according to a study published in the Journal of Psychology and Health, there’s another practice you could consider instead: forgiveness.

Researchers asked 1,423 American adults to rate themselves on how likely they were to forgive themselves for the things they did wrong and forgive others for hurting them. They also answered questions about how they had slept in the past 30 days.

The results suggest people who were more forgiving were more likely to sleep better and for longer, and, in turn, have better physical health. Forgiveness may help individuals leave the day’s regrets and offenses in the past and promote sound sleep. Otherwise, as many troubled sleepers have experienced, we might have too much on our minds to get any rest.

People who don’t forgive, researchers explain, tend to linger on unpleasant thoughts and feelings, such as anger, blame, and regret. This can involve painful rumination—repetitive thoughts about distress. That resentment or bitterness could be detracting from sleep quality and well-being, the study suggests.

Possible Preaching Angles: This study offers a new perspective on forgiveness as a key factor in achieving healthy sleep. So while it isn’t guaranteed to resolve your sleeping issues, forgiveness could be something to try out. Letting go of lingering difficult thoughts and feelings may help you not only avoid that stare-down with your clock tonight, but also feel better tomorrow.