Mother's Day

Fifteen years ago, Sherry Hoppen was a mom of three, a ministry leader in her church, and a volunteer at her local pregnancy center when her younger brother was killed in a drunk driving accident. The tragedy triggered her own slow spiral into alcoholism—one that nearly destroyed her marriage and her life.

Over the next decade, Hoppen evolved from a casual drinker to an addict who barely recognized herself, always secretly drinking or causing scenes at family holidays due to her dependence. Like many who struggle, she thought she could “fix” herself and moderate her drinking, even as she daily hid vodka-filled water bottles inside her purse.

Hoppen said, “I was scared to tell anybody because I knew if I did, my drinking days were over. And I didn’t want people to see [our family] fail.”

Her husband was a church elder, she led the children’s church choir, and they were beloved business-people in their small Michigan community. She said, “I couldn’t imagine letting anybody see what was really going on. I didn’t want to go to rehab because . . . everybody knows if you go to rehab, including my kids.”

It took Hoppen four more years after recognizing her dependence to commit to sobriety. Her story as a churchgoing suburban mom concealing alcohol addiction is increasingly common. In 2023, around 9 percent of adult women in the US struggled with alcoholism—about 11.7 million women. This means that in an average church of 500 people, at least 20 women attending likely struggle with alcohol dependence as well.

Alcohol abuse is rarely discussed with or even known by a woman’s closest friends or spouse. Until recent decades, alcohol brands marketed themselves primarily to men. In the 1990s, however, the industry recognized that women were an under-tapped market. This led to the introduction of sugary drinks for “entry-level drinkers.” A decade later, “skinny” versions of premade cocktails launched for women who wanted low-calorie options. Rates of alcohol use disorder rose by 83% between 2002 and 2013, on par with the rise in feminized alcohol marketing.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Our silent shame robs others of community, solidarity, and support. Churches have an opportunity to meet women in the midst of their brokenness. People ultimately just want to belong, feel seen, and not be judged in their brokenness.

In August of 2024, the outgoing U.S. surgeon general had a warning: Parenting can be harmful to your mental health. An advisory issued by Dr. Vivek Murthy, the nation’s doctor, said parents in particular are under dangerous levels of stress.

The report cites the American Psychological Association, saying nearly half of parents report overwhelming stress most days, compared with 26% of other adults. They’re lonelier, too, according to cited data from health insurer Cigna. In a 2021 survey, 65% of parents said they were lonely, compared with 55% of those without kids.

But who isn’t feeling that way? Elderly people are lonely and stressed. Single men are lonely and stressed. College students are lonely and stressed. Gen X moms are lonely and stressed. There’s an epidemic of loneliness and stress in this country and it’s bad for our mental and physical health, which Murthy pointed out in a previous advisory.

Murthy isn’t suggesting people quit having children. “There are so many joys and benefits that can come with parenting,” he said. “They can coexist with the stress parents feel.”

Instead, he’s issuing a call to action for anyone—especially lawmakers and bosses—with the power to lessen the load on parents. That load has grown heavier with the rising cost of child care, longer working hours and new threats, from school shootings to social media.

The vast majority of American Christians were raised in the faith—and most can point to the influence of their moms. In a 2023 study, the American Bible Society found that a majority of believers remain in the same religious tradition as their mothers.

This agrees with a large body of mainstream social science research dating back to the 1970s that says the active faith of mothers is a strong predictor of religious transmission. Some of this may be attributed to the natural bond children have with their mothers. But there is also research that shows that moms take a more active role in faith formation in America.

For every ­100 Americans raised by Protestant mothers:

99% of Christian teenagers talk about God with their mothers

71% of Christian teenagers read the Bible with their mothers

70% of Christian teenagers pray with their mothers

63% of Christian teenagers say their mothers encourage them to go to church

62% share the same faith tradition as adults

19% have no religion

11% joined another Christian tradition

4% are now Catholic

4% are other

While on my way to dispose of a breakfast of which I only took three bites, I noticed something that has broken my heart: The sixteenth craft I made at preschool this week, stuffed into the garbage beneath a layer of yesterday’s trash as if I wouldn’t find it.

No, not the one with the blue crayon circles. Also, no, not the paint handprints that mysteriously had some other kid’s name spelled backward on it. I’m talking about the one with the eight star stickers, a singular macaroni noodle glued to the top, wrinkled from when I shoved it in my backpack. Yes, there’s a hole in the middle from where I pressed the marker down too hard, but that doesn’t give you an excuse to dispose of it without my permission.

I am aware the refrigerator already displays five similar drawings, and, yeah, you have four noodle necklaces hanging on the lamp by your desk. But when I came home excitedly holding this latest presentation of my blossoming creativity, I thought the look of pride you had on your face was sincere. Now, I’m not sure what to believe.

Do you not appreciate the six minutes of uninterrupted focus required for me to produce such masterpieces? Is there no true love for the wilting dandelions I harvest from our yard three times a week that I demand you find a new vase for every time? Does this prove you’re not planning on treasuring the rocks I collected for you in my pocket that I forgot to take out until it was too late, which were rattling around in the dryer during the third load of laundry you were doing today?

My future therapy bills are already increasing over the denial of genius presented through this unforgivable act of parental neglect.

But trauma creates great art, and with that, I’m prepared to unveil my greatest work yet: a rainbow mural of permanent markers all over the bathroom on every surface I could reach. The sink. The baseboards. The shower curtain. The mirror. The light switch. The door. The fancy tile you had installed during a remodel before I was born.

I’m hopeful the tears I see forming in your eyes represent how moved you are by my magnum opus. It feels great to finally have my work be respected the way it should.

Now Hiring! Work From Home! Position requires strong ability to multitask. The successful applicant will be able to plan and prepare nutritious meals, while maintaining mountains of clean laundry. She can provide tutoring, nursing, counseling, and therapy sessions on an as-needed basis. In addition, applicants should be available for various event-planning activities, including birthday parties. The position involves staying up-to-date on all recommended practices of child development, including, but not limited to temper tantrums and adolescent awkwardness. Sleeping and eating not guaranteed for employees. Applicant must expect to work an average of 97 hours per week for 52 weeks per year. Pay range: $0 to $0 DOQ (Depending on Qualifications). Fringe benefits: priceless.

Sound familiar? Welcome to the life of a modern American mom.

Yes, motherhood entails a list of responsibilities that could go on and on. According to a survey of 2,000 mothers raising school-aged children (ages 5 to 18), moms spend nearly 100 hours a week on parenting tasks — even if it means sacrificing sleep and “me time.” The poll found no fewer than 15 different hats a mom wears, from chef to financial advisor. It’s no wonder the job goes well beyond a 40-hour workweek!

Where do moms carve out the extra time for this massive job? 53% of those surveyed reported sacrificing sleep for their children, while 47% regularly give up date nights, hobbies, and time with friends.

The survey also found that mothers often zero in on their children’s needs more than on their own. 62% of mothers say they often eat on the run, 53% admit they struggle to eat nutritious foods because of the demands of their schedule.

Researchers found such a job would pay a handsome six-figure salary: a whopping $100,460 per year if moms were paid for their work as parents. And that’s despite the fact that 70% of the mothers surveyed still work a full- or part-time job to boot.

After the immeasurable amount of selflessness shown by the typical mom, the survey found she’s left with less than an hour a day of “me time.” For 88% of moms surveyed, this time is often stolen from hours of shuteye, be it getting up early, staying up late, or both.

And yet despite the number of sacrifices they make, more than two-thirds (69%) of mothers say they want to spend even more time tending to their children.

But it is an impossible job that mothers somehow pull off. After all, how many jobs can claim to have fringe benefits that include cuddles, hugs, and the sense of satisfaction that comes from raising a healthy, happy human?

The US is battling an epidemic of sad, anxious young women. Despite the surge in women’s opportunities and freedoms over the past 50 years, it appears they are more depressed than ever. According to Harvard University research, this is particularly apparent in the 18-25 age group, 41% of which are said to suffer anxiety. In addition, the number of women reporting depression increased from 26% in 2017 to over 36% in 2023, according to a Gallup poll.

Dr. Wendy Wang at The Institute for Family Studies, says, “With 20 years under my belt as a sociologist…I believe I have stumbled on one possible explanation for this sea of sadness. It might appear a controversial take: too few women are getting married.”

According to US census data, only 47% of women ages 18 to 55 were married in the US in 2022, compared to 72% in 1970.

Despite the scientific data, social media is doing its part to malign marriage. On TikTok, videos that jokingly depict marriage as a fast route to domestic chores like washing dishes, caring for a newborn baby, and cleaning the house, go viral. As a result, only 24% of women under 30 believe that women who get married and have kids live fuller and happier lives than those who don’t.

But the uncomfortable truth is women who aren't married are worse off, health-wise, compared to their married counterparts. Proven scientific studies have shown that married women are less likely to die from heart disease and have longer lifespans than non-married women.

Marriage is not a cure-it-all magic wand, but the data tell us that the average American woman who is married with children is markedly less lonely and living a more meaningful and joyful life. Surveys show that 40% of married mothers aged under 55 reported that they were 'very happy' with their lives, compared with 22% of single, childfree women.

Admittedly, taking care of children is an exhausting job. But extensive research has shown that the rewards outweigh the negatives.

Editor’s Note: When using this illustration, let’s be mindful of the single women who long to be married, but are not yet, and the wives who would love to have children but have not been able to conceive, and those who have lost children through miscarriage.

In an issue of CT magazine, author Jen Wilkin writes:

Individualism says that I should do what’s best for me regardless of what’s best for others. Instant gratification assures me that waiting is an enemy to eliminate. At every turn, I am told that I can and should have what I want when I want it.

Earlier this year, my husband and I spent two weeks with an apparent narcissist named Charlotte. From the moment we stepped into her space, it was all about her. She demanded our full attention day and night. Forget rational arguments or the needs of others; it was The Charlotte Show 24/7. She thought only of herself and demanded loudly and often that her needs be met. Our schedules bowed to her every whim. She uttered not a word of gratitude during the entire 14 days.

And we didn’t mind one bit. Because all 7 pounds and 15 ounces of her was doing exactly what she should. Our newest grandchild’s age-appropriate focus is to declare, Me, right now! Any time she is tired, hungry, or needs a clean diaper. Babies self-advocate as a survival instinct. They understand only the immediate need.

But what is appropriate in an infant is appalling in an adult. In its obsession with “me, right now,” our culture doesn’t just worship youthfulness; it worships childishness, legitimizing it into adulthood. An adult who demands what he wants when he wants it is a costly presence in any community, prioritizing his own needs above those of others and of the group. He has not learned to “put away childish things,” as the Bible says (1 Cor. 13:11, KJV); he has managed to grow physically from a baby to an adult without shedding the childish mantra of “me, right now.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

As parents, our first challenge is to meet the needs of babies crying out, “Me, right now.” But our greater task over the years is to train our children to mature and outgrow their entitlement, to resist the narcissistic norms of our age. It is our job as Christian parents to move our children from the immaturity of individualism and instant gratification to the maturity of sacrificial service and delayed gratification.

In a nod to the adage about family life that parenting is the hardest job in the world, most parents (62%) say being a parent has been at least somewhat harder than they expected, with about a quarter (26%) saying it’s been a lot harder. This is especially true of mothers, 30% of whom say being a parent has been a lot harder than they expected (compared with 20% of fathers).

If you’re a young parent, you’re probably used to hearing “Why?” a lot! With that in mind, a new survey finds moms and dads field an average of 11 questions from their young children each day.

A new poll of 2,000 parents of kids under six finds that between being asked “What?” (37%), “When?” (22%), and “Why?” (11%), parents are always on call when their kids get curious.

Children most commonly ask questions to better understand the world around them, such as asking about animals, nature, current events, and home experiences. When asked about the most interesting question their child has ever asked, parents mentioned “Why is the sky so high?” and “Why can fish keep their eyes open in water?”

Children’s questions may be frequent, but they aren’t always easy, as parents admit they can confidently answer an average of only 42% of their child’s questions. Poll results also reveal that 81% of parents learn just as much from their child as their child learns from them. The average parent learns something new from their child about five times per week, and four in five parents are surprised by their child’s knowledge of certain topics.

With a love for cultivating an “old-fashioned” life and returning to what truly matters, a mom of three encouraged her kids to adopt a “TV fast” for three months. Jill Winger lives on a 67-acre family homestead in Wyoming with her husband, Christian Winger, and their three kids: Mesa(13), Bridger (10), and Sage (7).

We didn’t really watch a ton of TV, we just had Netflix and Hulu. My kids would watch shows an hour and a half in the afternoons. Then because we have long winters in Wyoming, our family would kind of default to the TV in the evenings after supper.

Mrs. Winger began asking herself, “What other activities is the TV displacing?” She posed the question to her husband and kids, and together they made a decision: They would go on a TV fast. “Three months, from December 1, 2022, to March 1, 2023, we would not watch any TV. We just said, ‘Let’s experiment with what happens.’”

Shockingly, I expected more pushback; the kids were not super upset. I think they knew that they were turning on the TV kind of mindlessly, without really enjoying it. So, when we told them our plan, they were kind of like, “OK, we’ll try it!”

Together, the family discussed what to do with the time freed up by quitting TV. One of the first ideas to emerge was reading books together. Another impulse that emerged was to learn new hobbies. The three kids together taught themselves chess, started cooking more, and became more engaged in homesteading activities.

When the family reached the end of their TV fast on March 1, they sat down to discuss the experience and came to a surprising conclusion: They wanted to continue. They decided to set aside special time once or twice a month to watch a movie as a family and preserve their newfound free time for hobbies and creative pursuits. She insists that it’s not crucial to live on a homestead; even in the city, there are free resources, such as outdoor play, board games, and local libraries.

A TV “fast,” by definition, is finite. “It could be a week, it could be a month ... pick your time,” Mrs. Winger said. “Then I think it’s really important to have a conversation with the whole family, to get everybody on board and help them understand why you’re doing this.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

While we all may not live on a 67-acre homestead or have three children, we can learn a lot from this family. Whether we are adults or youth, we all spend too much time on our screens and waste many hours that could be put to better use, whether learning a new skill or hobby, in fellowship with others, or in serving the Lord.

In November 2023, 71-year-old Thea Culbreth Chamberlain was treated to a wonderful surprise from her local movie theater. The thing that took her breath away seemed straight out of a Hollywood tearjerker, but it wasn’t. It was an item intimately connected to her past—something she’d never seen before, yet there it sat, plain as day ... her mother’s wallet.

Floy Culbreth passed away in 2005 at the age of 87. But in 1958, when Thea was just six-years-old, Floy lost her wallet. Inside contained several mementos that served as snapshots of her mother’s life 65 years prior: some raffle tickets, a library card, and a few family photos. At the time, they might not have seemed like much to Floy. But to Thea, six and a half decades later, they were everything.

The wallet's discovery came during renovations of the Atlanta theater when a contractor found it hidden behind the walls. Christopher Escobar owned the Atlanta theater where Floy’s wallet was discovered. Escobar found the name Thea Culbreth written on a reminder card for a dental appointment. After an online search, he contacted the family and arranged a meeting at the theater to return the long-lost item.

Thea said, “I don’t even know how to say how flabbergasted I was. And it took a while for it to sink in.”

Chamberlain says the family plans to get the wallet’s contents framed—a preservation of memories they hope won’t be lost again.

Possible Preaching Angle:

There are many life lessons and wonderful family memories which can influence succeeding generations. We must make an effort to not let them slip away and learn from them.

Writing in the New Yorker, Lucy Huber and Joanna Davis have some advice for new mothers:

Hello! I see you are a young mother caring for your young children, and for some reason you seem a little stressed. Perhaps it’s because your three-year-old just shattered a jar of enchilada sauce. Now you are now kneeling on the floor of Aisle 3, frantically trying to pick up the shards of glass before your toddler puts glass shards in his mouth, all while wearing your three-month-old.

Well, I am here to tell you, as a parent of adult children, that I was like you once. Worried about every tiny thing that happened with my children, be it missing a violin lesson, omitting half the white sequins on my daughter’s homemade “Swan Lake” ballet costume, or letting my kids go in the ocean before teaching them to swim. But I want to impart to you the most important lesson that I learned in motherhood: just relax.

Relax, instead of calling for a grocery-store employee to help you wipe up this oozing green liquid which your child is licking off the floor while screaming, “Too spicy!” Relax, and just let it go. Let it all go. The fact that school is once again cancelled because Lucas R. got COVID and you have no child care and have to attend a meeting this afternoon seated next to your child who will be watching “Bubble Guppies” on the couch. But you’ll pretend that you are alone in your home office so that you don’t get fired. Cherish this moment! Cherish it now! These moments are fleeting, so you must enjoy them all. Also, while you’re at it, you should really take a moment to enjoy people telling you to relax and enjoy these moments.

Mama, don’t listen to other people’s parenting advice. Ignore them! Except me. I’m correct in saying that you’re a good parent only if you’re putting in absolutely no effort but standing in silent awe as your three-year-old turns on the stove burners, using a Barbie camper van as a stool, because what creativity he has! Life is too short to stress about these things.

A Glamour magazinevideo asked a number of girls and women on advice they would want from an older person in their life. Here are some of the questions these young women asked:

How do you become who you are today?

What should I not stress about at 14-years-old?

What is the best way to make a decision?

Looking back on your life what did you find most valuable?

What do you do when you realize that your dreams are not actually going to happen?

How do you manage having kids, being married, and having a career?

What is the secret to living a happy life?

Is having children really worth it?

(What are the) secrets to a long and happy marriage?

You can watch the entire 2:30 minute video here.

Possible Preaching Angle:

It is important for mature women to be accessible to answer questions and serve as role models to the young women in our churches. “Older women, likewise, are to be …. teachers of good. In this way they can train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, managers of their households, kind, and submissive to their own husbands …” (Titus 2:3-5).

Pastor Bryan Chapell writes in his recent book Grace at Work:

My musician wife, Kathy, talks about a time that she was chang­ing a particularly yucky diaper of one of our children. She said to a friend standing beside her, "These hands have played Mozart." The friend replied, "Maybe these hands are diapering the next Mozart!"

Possible Preaching Angle:

Undeniably, what those hands were doing was nurturing an eternal soul. When we are working to fulfill responsibilities God gives us, no matter how difficult or onerous the task, the Bible helps us to avoid thinking, “I'm just not doing something very important.”

Ever get the feeling you're talking to a brick wall when trying to communicate with your teens? Well, a new study suggests there may be some science to it, after finding that teenagers' brains start tuning out their mothers' voices around the age of 13. Researchers said that this is because they no longer find it “uniquely rewarding,” and instead tune into unfamiliar voices more.

The study by the Stanford School of Medicine used MRI brain scans to give the first detailed neurobiological explanation for how teenagers begin to separate from their parents. It suggests that when your teenagers don't seem to hear you, it's not simply that they don't want to clean their room or finish their homework—their brains aren't registering your voice the way they did in pre-teenage years.

Lead study author Daniel Abrams said, “Just as an infant knows to tune into her mother's voice, an adolescent knows to tune into novel voices. As a teen, you don't know you're doing this. You're just being you: You've got your friends and new companions and you want to spend time with them. Your mind is increasingly sensitive to and attracted to these unfamiliar voices.”

Researchers said, “The brain's shift toward new voices is an aspect of healthy maturation. A child becomes independent at some point, and that has to be precipitated by an underlying biological signal. This signal helps teens engage with the world and form connections which allow them to be socially adept outside their families.”

A study published in 2016 showed that children can identify their mother's voice with extremely high accuracy. Even fetuses in utero can recognize their mother's voice before they're born. Yet with adolescents their brains are tuning away from their mother’s voice in favor of voices they've never even heard.

Brain responses to voices increased with teenagers' age. In fact, the relationship was so strong researchers could use the information in adolescents' brain scans to predict how old they were. When teens appear to be rebelling by not listening to their parents, it is because they are wired to pay more attention to voices outside their home.

Did you drop the ball this Mother’s Day and forget to pick up a gift for your mom? You’re not alone. A new survey has found that one in six Americans hasn’t sent their mother a single present in over a year. A survey found that 67 percent know their mom’s favorite flower. However, 37 percent admit they haven’t bought their mother flowers of any kind over the last year.

Another 57 percent know exactly what movie their mom would love to watch. But one in three people haven’t sat down to watch a movie with her in more than a year. Another 81 percent know their mom’s favorite hobby, but only half the poll say they’ve joined their mother to do that activity within the last six months. Even though 81% know their mom’s favorite way to pamper herself, 51% haven’t treated their mom in the last month.

A study found that mothers spend a staggering 97 hours a week doing something related to parenting—the same amount of time most people with a six-figure salary spend on their job.

Celebrating Mother’s Day is an easy way to show appreciation to the hard work, dedication, and care moms provide. They may not be sending flowers or taking mom out to dinner, but at least Americans are picking up the phone. More than 80 percent of the poll say they speak to their mother at least once a month.

So, if there’s a lesson coming out of this survey, maybe it’s that Americans need to spend a little quality time with their mom. With Mother’s Day being a day to do whatever our mother’s love to do, this day in May allows many kids a chance to play “catch-up.” After all, everyday can be Mother’s Day if you try.

When children have questions about their heavenly Father, their first instinct is to ask their mothers. Christian women tend to be more devout than men, and they’re often tasked with the bulk of parenting duties. But findings from Barna Research detail the gap between moms and dads when it comes to many aspects of faith formation:

Practicing Christians were asked, “Whose faith influenced you?”

Mother – 68%

Father – 46%

Practicing Christian teens were asked, “Which parent offers spiritual guidance?”

Prayer together: Mother 63%, Father 53%

Discussing God: Mother 70%, Father 56%

Discussing the Bible: Mother 71%, Father 50%

Responding to faith questions: Mother 72%, Father 56%

Encouraging church attendance: Mother 79%, Father 64%

Moms and dads understandably experience a great deal of worry and uncertainty when choosing a parenting style. A recent article by Good Housekeeping's Editor and Chief, Jane Francisco, offered this advice:

When my son was a toddler, I struggled with the concept of discipline, how to know what was too much … or not enough. So, I called up my dad, a teacher for decades, and asked him what parenting style he thought yielded the most well-adjusted kids. His answer was pretty simple: You can’t really go wrong as long as a) your child clearly understands that they are loved unconditionally and b) your approach to discipline is consistent, regardless of how strict (or not!) you are.

The takeaway? I probably won’t mess up my kid too badly as long as I deliver love and consistency (and don’t accidentally put him out with the recycling!). My dad’s “recipe” certainly calms me when the idea of parenting becomes overwhelming, and I hope it has the same effect on you ... there is no single “right” way — and being a parent can be an adventure as original as you are.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Raising God's children is a weighty task. If you're not concerned about how you do it, you're likely doing it wrong. But parenting is simpler than we make it. Love them unconditionally, show them consistency, and don't put them out with the recycling.

Linguists tell us that babies of virtually all cultures use similar syllables for addressing their parents. It is easy for maturing babies to say the “Ah” vowel and “B, D, or M” consonant sounds. Parents of all cultures teach these primitive words as the titles for “Mother” and “Father.”

French: “Maman and Papa.”

Norwegian: “Mamma and Papa.”

Swahili: “Mama and Baba.”

Mandarin: “Mama and Baba.”

Chechen: “Naana and Daa.”

Every follower of Jesus knows our primal name for God—Father, or in the Aramaic, Abba, Dada. Or Daddy.