Motives

Suzanne Gaskins is a psychologist with a background working with indigenous children in Mexico. She wanted to test their capacity for delayed gratification, so she administered what’s called The Marshmallow Test. She offered each child the choice of eating one marshmallow immediately, or waiting while she left the room for the promise of two marshmallows.

Because she’s been studying the children in this community for years and knows them generally to be proficient and high functioning, she expected many of them to be waiting when she came back. But of the six children she tested, four of them simply left the room.

Puzzled by those results, Gaskins administered a host of sixteen different tests designed to measure executive function. Even though children in this community are self-motivated and can often dress, bathe themselves, and help with chores by three years of age, about half of them failed these tests.

This led Gaskins to examine the cultural bias embedded in those traditional tests and to rethink their efficacy. When she followed up with the children who took the marshmallow test, she found that many of them simply left the room because they had other things to do than sit around waiting for a marshmallow.

“I was very surprised at my own lack of insight,” Gaskins said. “I did not recognize the bias built into the test until I sat in the room with the kids and it became obvious what was wrong.”

Lucía Alcalá assisted Gaskins in administering these tests. She said, “Just because children in different communities perform differently in our tasks, doesn’t mean there’s something wrong and we need to fix it. As U.S. scholars we feel we have to fix everyone. … People don’t need us to save them and fix them.”

There is a reason God gave us the Sabbath rest. We need it. We were not created to work seven days a week. Yet, that is where we are headed as a culture, especially since COVID-19, and this is not a good thing.

Technology tethers us to our work through smartphones and “productivity” apps such as Slack and Teams. The majority of workers regularly check their email on their smartphones, which never leave their side, even after work hours or on vacation. The rise in remote work means work and family spheres are no longer separate, blurring the boundaries between work and home. Or as Andrew Barnes, cofounder of 4 Day Week Global, said, “We’re not working from home, we’re sleeping in the office.” This is our new world of work.

Our relationship with work is becoming increasingly unhealthy. Levels of burnout and stress are at all-time highs. Even before the pandemic, the World Health Organization called stress the “health epidemic of the 21st century.” What is a major source of that stress? Our jobs.

COVID-19 exacerbated this problem. During the pandemic, workdays became longer—in the United States, the average workday is now three hours longer; and in the United Kingdom, France, Canada, and Spain, it’s two hours longer. But more than that, we have gotten used to working outside traditional work hours.

In his article “How America Got Mean,” David Brooks laments what he calls “the de-moralization of American culture.” Brooks notes that “over the course of the 20th century, words relating to morality appeared less and less frequently in the nation’s books:

According to a 2012 paper, usage of a cluster of words related to being virtuous also declined significantly. Among them were bravery (which dropped by 65 percent), gratitude (58 percent), and humbleness (55 percent). For decades, researchers have asked incoming college students about their goals in life. In 1967, about 85 percent said they were strongly motivated to develop “a meaningful philosophy of life”; by 2000, only 42 percent said that. Being financially well off became the leading life goal; by 2015, 82 percent of students said wealth was their aim.

A recent Wall Street Journal/NBC News poll found a massive shift in American values:

Two decades ago, Americans of various ages overwhelmingly said that patriotism, hard work, belief in God, and having children were the values most important to them. “Hard work” remains strong, but the other three values have dropped dramatically.

Among American teens:

95% say that finding a job or career they enjoy would be extremely or very important to them as an adult. 81% said that about “helping others in need.” 50% said “having a lot of money” would be important. 39% thought having children would be important.

For their part, many millennials are buying into the “work 80 hours a week for us because we’re changing the world” rhetoric popularized by Silicon Valley. But even those skeptical of it are working their tails off. As Anne Helen Petersen put it in a popular Buzzfeed article earlier this year: “We put up with companies treating us poorly because we don’t see another option. We don’t quit. We internalize that we’re not striving hard enough. And we get a second gig.”

An Atlantic article states, “The best-educated and highest-earning Americans, who can have whatever they want, have chosen the office for the same reason that devout Christians attend church on Sundays: It’s where they feel most themselves.”

But our desks were never meant to be our altars. This mismatch between expectations and reality is a recipe for severe disappointment, if not outright misery, and it might explain why rates of depression and anxiety in the US are “substantially higher” than they were in the 1980s.

Robert X Cringely, in his book Accidental Empires, tells about the early days of Apple. In the late 1970’s, Apple had grown beyond the point that all the employees knew each other on sight. So, it was decided that, like grown-up companies, they should all have name badges.

As is the corporate way, it was deemed that these badges should be numbered and, as corporate lore decrees, the number assigned would be based on the order in which employees had joined the company.

Cringely writes:

Steve Wozniak was declared employee number 1. Steve Jobs was number 2, and so on. Jobs didn’t want to be number 2. He didn’t want to be second in anything. Jobs argued that he, rather than Woz, should have the sacred number one since they were co-founders of the company and J came before W in the alphabet. When that plan was rejected. he argued that the number 0 was still unassigned, and since 0 came before 1, Jobs would be happy to take that number. He got it.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Jesus watched as guests took chairs around a dinner table. Each had tried to elbow into the place of honor, and so he said, “When you are invited by someone to a wedding feast, do not sit down in a place of honor, lest someone more distinguished than you be invited by him” (Luke 14:7-8).

When Jessica Rocha set out to celebrate her graduation from the University of California San Diego, she took a photo. And like many Instagram influencers often do, Rocha was in a field. But instead of being in a cute outfit with stylish accessories, Rocha was in her graduation gown. And her parents were on hand for the occasion.

Central to the importance of the shot was its location, and the way that it demonstrated her family heritage. In the photo, Rocha and her parents stood in the same fields where all three of them had toiled as migrant workers, planting and harvesting, for years and years. According to Rocha, after her parents emigrated to the US from Mexico they required her to work in the fields as way to remind her about the value of getting an education. During her high school years, she often worked the overnight shift with her father. They would plant strawberries late through the evening and into the morning. Rocha barely got enough sleep to take the bus to school in the morning.

Rocha took the photo to honor her parents for the way they sacrificed so that she could pursue her education. She said, “Nobody thinks about nor sees what happens behind a vegetable you grab at the grocery store. But behind it is someone who breaks their backs every day working in the fields."

Even after she made it into college, Rocha still worked the fields on weekends and during school breaks. She credited her parents for the motivation. “Many times I wanted to give up, but my parents and their pieces of advice and support were the reason I kept going. If it wasn't for how my parents raised me I don't know who I would be today."

Possible Preaching Angle:

1) Honor your parents for the sacrifices they made in raising you and their lasting influence in your life; 2) It's a blessing to look back and see the places from which God has brought us; it's also necessary for us to remember God's power and continue to trust in God's provision.

In a recent issue of Runner's World, Jess Movold shared how she lost her passion to press on:

Tempo runs scare me. Those long, hard, sustained efforts always look impossible when I see them on paper. Doubt creeps in. I remember one run in particular—I saw it on my plan and immediately began creating a laundry list of excuses as to why this was simply just not going to work, why I wasn’t fit enough, why I wouldn’t finish, why I would fail. Before I even laced up my shoes, I’d already convinced myself I couldn’t do this. Instead of using the warmup to find my groove, prepare for success, and get excited to make the best of it, I adopted a loser’s mindset, revisited my list of excuses, and fell further into a bad attitude.

The problem, I realized, was that I treated my entire training plan like a tempo run—hard, fast, strict. In a tempo run, if you don’t hit your pace early, it’s nearly impossible to catch up. In my training plan, I felt like if I didn’t hit a workout early, I wouldn’t be able to catch up.

How did she fix this problem? She started treating her workout collectively like a long run:

I love long runs … settling into a relaxed pace, enjoying the route, and focusing on only one goal—finishing. I love that I can have a bad mile in the middle and still end strong.

Now, when I set a new goal, I have what I call “the long-run mindset.” I find success and value in my training because I’m not desperate for immediate results like I have been. I care more about the big picture and my long-term goals as a runner. I have shifted my attitude to think bigger than short-term outcomes and work toward lifelong success.

Later, Movold offers this advice:

In training as a whole, your “why” will likely be more meaningful but just as important. What are you running toward? Figure out the reason for the miles, and they become easier.

Talking about his hit song "Mean Old Man," singer songwriter James Taylor said,

This one was a big accomplishment, because it's a sophisticated song and a throwback. Paul McCartney called me up and said that when he'd first heard it, he assumed it was Frank Loesser or Cole Porter. I was, of course, absolutely thrilled. At one point, Bob Dylan told me that he'd been listening to [one of my songs] and really thought it was great, and that's enough for me. Ten critics can savage me, but I'll be fine as long as every once in a while, someone like Bob Dylan or Paul McCartney says, "Keep going, kid."

Possible Preaching Angles: Positive Illustration—Taylor reveals a truth that Christians should live by—when it comes to praise or criticism, consider the source. For us, the best source is God himself. Negative Illustration—All human applause (even from the important figures in our lives) has a short shelf life. We should look to God alone for praise and affirmation.

In April 1967, hamburger lovers in Uniontown, Pennsylvania met a newer, bigger burger—it was called the Big Mac, and for 45 cents it delivered, as a 1970s jingle would have it, "two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, and onions on a sesame-seed bun."

A year later, the Big Mac was on the menu at McDonald's restaurants all over the United States. By 1969, it accounted for 19 percent of the company's total sales. Today, the company sells about 550 million Big Macs annually in the United States alone, and millions more in 100 countries around the world.

But you've probably never heard of Jim Delligatti, the McDonald's franchise owner who invented the Big Mac. Delligatti owned about a dozen franchises in the Pittsburgh area by the mid-1960s, but he struggled to compete with the Big Boy and Burger King chains. After pitching the idea to his bosses and facing stiff resistance, McDonald's finally relented and agreed to let him try it out. The first Big Mac was introduced on April 22, 1967.

Sales perked up immediately. The company rolled it out nationwide, backed by a powerful advertising campaign. In 1986, The Economist magazine introduced its Big Mac Index, which shows whether a currency is overvalued or undervalued based on the cost of a Big Mac in one country relative to the cost in another. In 2007, Mr. Delligatti opened the Big Mac Museum Restaurant in North Huntingdon, Pennsylvania, with a 14-foot-tall Big Mac sculpture as its centerpiece.

Many people assumed that Delligatti must have reaped a windfall worth billions. Not so. In 2007 he told a local newspaper, "All I got was a plaque."

Possible Preaching Angles: Sometimes human praise is underwhelming, which is why Christians need to live for the praise of the "Audience of One"—God's approval and pleasure.

The Chinese-American Christian leader Russell Jeung explains how his father taught him a profound lesson on the true nature of humility. Due to the maltreatment of many Chinese immigrants in America, Russell's dad taught him to work hard. But he also taught him he should not consider himself better than anyone else, even if successful.

"As the youngest child in my family," Russell explains, "my job at Chinese banquets was to make sure everyone's teacup was kept full. My dad, without fail, reminded me at these meals to be alert to the needs of others. I think he took as much pride in seeing me serve food to dinner guests as he did in seeing me get good grades."

Russell reinforces this concept of humility by pointing to the Chinese characters making up the words for humility—Qiang xun.

"Qiang means to have a yielding spirit, not seeking one's own pride or recognition. It pictures someone speaking while holding shafts of grain together, suggesting that words of humility prioritize the unity and harmony of the group first. Xun is the pictograph of the way a grandchild walks. We are to see ourselves like children, moving and acting in deference to our wiser elders."

You've seen them—the colorful, wristwatch-like fitness trackers. (Maybe you're even wearing one right now.) They count your steps, give you stats on your sleeping habits, and more. Sounds like a great way to get healthier and maybe lose weight in the process, right? Well, maybe not. A study claims that the wearers of these popular pieces of wrist wear lost less weight than people who didn't wear them.

And, even more surprising, it turns out the problem might be the wearers themselves. The lead author of the study put it this way: "These technologies are focused on physical activity, like taking steps and getting your heart rate up. [But then the wearers of these devices] would say, 'Oh, I exercised a lot today, now I can eat more.' And they might eat more than they otherwise would have." As a result, the researcher concluded, "It doesn't look like assigning someone wearable technology will make that big of a difference." As an article on NPR noted, "Ultimately these devices are most effective when the people using them are already dedicated to tracking their fitness. People who are less motivated might not get the same results."

Possible Preaching Angles: (1) Sin; Blame; Responsibility—Living in a fallen, sinful world—with fallen, sinful natures—means that we can only place so much blame on our circumstances. Oftentimes, we are the problem. (2) Spiritual disciplines; Motivation; Spiritual Growth—Just "wearing" spiritual disciplines (like participating in worship, listening to a sermon, or reading Scripture, etc.) won't make us more spiritually fit. It also requires our motivation and inner attitude.

This shouldn't come as a surprise, but a study reports self-regard, self-promotion, and plain old bragging are far more prominent in pop music than they were a quarter-century ago. The authors of the study note that, in 1990, blatant bragging was basically confined to rap music. The study analyzed the lyrics of the top 100 songs from the years 1990, 2000, and 2010, as compiled by Billboard magazine. Coders looked for examples of eight categories of self-promotion, including referring to oneself by name and demanding respect.

The study concluded:

Compared with earlier years, songs in 2010 were more likely to include the singer referring to the self by name, general self-promotion, and bragging about wealth, partner's appearance, or sexual prowess. A similar, albeit nonsignificant increase, was also seen for bragging about musical prowess and demands for respect.

The researchers added a warning:

Music both reflects and influences the values of the culture. The hit songs we listen to "both represent the increasing individualistic/narcissistic tendencies in the culture, but also further convey that promoting oneself through bragging, demands for respect, and self-focus is acceptable … [Therefore], parents, educators, and those responsible for policy should consider how strongly individualistic messages influence young people and work to provide messages and opportunities that also advocate communal values.

Possible Preaching Angles: Although the conclusions to this study seem obvious, the comments from the researchers should challenge parents and churches to provide an alternative to this example of self-promotion.

An old joke. A letter to a neighbor reads:

Dear Frank. We've been neighbors for six tumultuous years. When you borrowed my tiller, you returned it in pieces. When I was sick, you blasted rap music. And when your dog went to the bathroom all over my lawn, you laughed. I could go on, but I'm certainly not one to hold grudges. So I am writing this letter to tell you that your house is on fire. Cordially, Bob

After the publication of his bestselling book, Three Cups of Tea, Greg Mortenson became an instant celebrity. The mountain climber turned champion for the underprivileged brought the plight of central Asia's children to the global stage. The charity he started creates educational opportunities for children in Afghanistan and Pakistan, particularly girls.

Unfortunately, Mortenson's story had some major holes. For instance, at one point Mortenson writes grippingly about being held hostage by the Taliban. He even had a photo to prove it. But it turns out the men in the photo, his alleged "captors," were not the Taliban. One of the "captors" was an esteemed research director named Mansur Khan Mahsud. Mahsud said that Mortenson was a guest not a hostage.

Mortenson, who admits to some exaggeration in his story, could argue that he had to stretch the truth to help those in need. But even little steps as simple as embellishing a story for dramatic effect lead to places you never thought you would go.

The media community put Mortenson on trial. Reporter Jon Krakauer claims that Mortenson was using the organization as a "private ATM machine" to buy things like personal jets. An expose on 60 Minutes revealed that of thirty schools in Mortenson's organization that they visited, about half were either no longer being funded or had been abandoned. Some were even used "to store spinach, or hay for livestock; others had not received any money from Mortenson's charity in years." Mortenson started with noble intentions and a great idea, but after launching his organization he lost his moral bearings and betrayed the trust of many people.

Possible Preaching Angles: The same thing could happen to any of us: we can start out with such noble intentions (in business, in our marriage, in ministry, in church) and then veer off course. The same thing happened often in the stories of the Old Testament. The people of God lost their "moral bearings" and their God-given mission.

The actor Hugh Jackman, who has played lead roles in X-Men and Les Miserables, describes some of the deep wounds that still drive his life even years later. When he was eight-years-old his mother abandoned him, his father, and Hugh's four elder siblings. When he finally realized that his mother was gone for good, Jackman was too frightened to enter his house alone. In a 2013 interview he said, "I was terrified because I was the first one home every day. I used to walk home from school and wait outside. I just wouldn't go in."

His father, Christopher, seemed to compensate for the pain by working long hours as an accountant. Jackman said, "My father could only come to one [school sports] game a year because he had five kids, and on Saturday he had to shop. If my father was there, it would be 50 percent greater. Having his approval is something that still drives me."

Jackman admits his ongoing struggles with fear, anxiety, and people-pleasing. Although his ambition to be a star has quieted, it hasn't entirely disappeared. He said,

I saw a play in Sydney, and in the notes they had this quote from Bono that said: "What kind of hole exists in the heart of a person when they need to have 70,000 people scream, 'I love you,' in order to feel fulfilled?" But there is a part of me that wants to please, to be all things to all people.

Possible Preaching Angles: Our Need for Christ—Jackman's struggles show our underlying brokenness—the sin, wounds, bondage, and idolatry that show our need for the gospel. Despite his fame and success, Jackman is still longing for something that can only be satisfied by Christ.

In his book Predictably Irrational, researcher Dan Ariely claims that most of us are masters at deceiving ourselves and justifying our actions. In particular, we often make our decisions based not on what's right, but on what we want.

Ariely tells his own story of buying a car. "When I turned thirty," he writes, "I decided it was time to trade in my motorcycle for a car, but I could not decide which car was right for me. The web was just taking off, and to my delight I found a site that provided advice on purchasing cars." Professor Ariely describes how he answered all of the questions on the website, which then recommended that he purchase a Ford Taurus. He describes his reaction this way:

The problem was that, having just surrendered my motorcycle, I couldn't see myself driving a sedate sedan. I was now facing a dilemma: I had tried a deliberative and thoughtful process for my car selection, and I didn't like the answer I got. So, I did what I think anyone in my position would do. I hit the BACK button a few times, backtracked to earlier stages of the interview process, and changed many of my original answers to what I convinced myself were more accurate and appropriate responses .… I kept this up until the car-advertising website suggested a Mazda Miata. The moment the program was kind enough to recommend a small convertible, I felt grateful for the fantastic software and decided to follow its advice.

Commenting on what he learned in the process, Professor Ariely says, "The experience taught me that sometimes we want our decisions to have a rational veneer when, in fact, they stem from … what we crave deep down."

Possible Preaching Angles: (1) God's Will—With our tendency towards self-deception, we sometimes determine God's will based on what we really wanted in the first place. In other words, God's will = what we want. (2) Desires, sinful—Although some of our desires are good and healthy, some of our desires are based on the sinful bent of our heart.

Most people haven't heard of the pro football running back named Tony Richardson. That's because his primary role involves helping other running backs succeed: he blocks so they can run. Over the span of seventeen pro football seasons, teams have often paired Richardson with some of the best backs in pro football. In 2001 he was slated to be the main running back, but instead he went to his teammate Priest Holmes and told him, "It's time for me to step out of the way. You need to be getting the ball. And I'm going to do everything I can to help you." Holmes went on to lead the league in rushing, but Richardson never grew envious or resentful. As Holmes would report, "He used to call me up and say, "I just saw you on SportsCenter! He was happier for me than I was for myself."

All of the running backs that Richardson helped succeed contend that his influence went beyond blocking for them. He would constantly talk to them through the game, advising, pushing, encouraging, and inspiring them. In a recent interview, Tony Richardson said, "I can't explain it, but it just means more to me to help someone else achieve glory. There's something about it that feels right to me."

Author Ed Dobson wrote a book titled The Year of Living Like Jesus, in which he tells the story in diary form of how he tried to live as Jesus lived and as Jesus taught for a year. On day thirteen of month one, he records this story:

My wife and I drove to Key West. I decided to take a day off from reading. As we walked past a restaurant on Duvall Street, a man, who'd obviously been drinking, called from the steps: "Hey, could spare some change so I can get something to eat?"

I've heard that line a lot, and I know a number of responses. First, you can simply ignore such people. After all, he will most likely use whatever money you give him to buy more alcohol, and, therefore, you'd be enabling his habit. Second, you can offer to take him to a restaurant to buy him something to eat. In most cases the person will not go because he mainly wants the money to buy alcohol. Third, you can point him to an organization that provides meals for the homeless. Many such organizations exist in most cities.

What did my wife and I do? We walked past the man without doing anything, as we have done with so many other people over the years. After all, it's not our fault that he is where he is.

But after we'd walked on a little farther, he called after us, "Can you help a Vietnam vet?" My youngest son is a veteran, and I deeply respect those who have served their country in that way. So I stopped, walked back to him, and gave him a dollar. At that moment I remembered the words of Jesus: "Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you." It's as simple as that—give to the one who asks. He asked. I had an obligation to give.

As I walked down the street, a wonderful peace came over me because I felt I'd actually obeyed one of Jesus' teachings. I knew he'd probably use it to buy more alcohol and that I probably hadn't made the wisest choice. And I also knew that a dollar wasn't really going to help him. But I had no other choice. He asked and I was obligated.

Still, what caused me to give him the money was not really my responsibility to follow Jesus, but the fact that he was a veteran. So after my initial euphoria, I realized I had done the Jesus thing for the wrong reasons.

In an article for Psychology Today magazine, Hara Marano writes about the constant pressure girls face concerning their image. Deprived of an internal compass, girls compete to be "hottest," turning colleges into incubators for eating disorders and numerous unrealistic, self-imposed expectations.

But why?

Marano cites Courtney Martin, author of Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters. Martin believes the chief problem is that young women think they have to be everything: overachievers in academics, successful in their chosen career, and the life of the party. Adding to the mounting pressure, today's girls are told they can look any way they want. Over time, they "compose the self as perfect, with a perfect résumé and a perfect body."

New York psychotherapist Steven Levenkron has been treating young women with eating disorders for three decades. He contends that peer pressure is by far the number one reason girls work hard to be extremely thin. "Those who aren't mentored by parents are not inoculated against peer pressure. They wind up turning to their peers and to the media, to the outside society, for guidance on how to appeal to men." Hollywood, in turn, ends up giving them unrealistic messages about femininity.

Richard Hersh, former director of Harvard's Center for Moral Education, blames a girl's image obsession on the culture of neglect—kids raising kids. Parents and teachers have allowed children to be nurtured by television, the Internet, and their peers. Parents and teachers have abdicated mentoring and overly shelter them from life experiences to avoid pain and failure. They enter college "socially and emotionally fragile." The all-too-common results are anorexia and bulimia, depression, drinking and drug use, and attempts at suicide. Data shows that about 40 percent of college-age women have experienced an eating disorder.

In the article Marano shares the testimony of 17-year-old Chloe:

Dieting made me feel I was in control of something. It was one thing I knew I could change on my own. I would diet and get positive feedback and feel really good. So I wouldn't eat for a few days at a time. …

You compare yourself to other people. Each of my friends was vying to be better than the other. I was in a restaurant with my boyfriend and a girl walked in who was really pretty and much thinner than me. I saw him glance at her. I went into the bathroom and cried. …

[Boys are] constantly comparing women to each other: 'That girl is really hot; she's so much hotter than her friends.' So we compete to be the hotter friend. Some days it makes you feel fat. On particularly bad days, I can look at children and think that when I'm older, that little 3-year-old girl is going to steal my husband.