Performance

The longer the internet lives, the more inescapable a certain trend becomes: the performance of grief. That is, when someone on TikTok, Instagram, or YouTube, exhibits a hardship for audience consumption. At The Atlantic, Maytal Eyal has an interesting appraisal:

People post videos of themselves crying (or trying not to). Some of these videos moody music; many rack up hundreds of thousands of views. … Influencers and celebrities strip down to what can seem like the rawest version of themselves, selling the promise of “real” emotional connection—and, not infrequently, products or their personal brand.

The weepy confessions are, ostensibly, gestures toward intimacy. They’re meant to inspire empathy, to reassure viewers that influencers are just like them. But in fact, they’re exercises in what I’ve come to call “McVulnerability,” a synthetic version of vulnerability akin to fast food: mass-produced, sometimes tasty, but lacking in sustenance. True vulnerability can foster emotional closeness. McVulnerability offers only an illusion of it.

In my years as a therapist, I’ve seen a trend among some of my younger clients: They prefer the controlled environment of the internet — the polish of YouTube, the ephemeral nature of TikTok — to the tender awkwardness of making new friends. Instead of reaching out to a peer, they’ll turn to the comfort of their phone and spend time with their preferred influencers.

Psychotherapist Esther Perel touched on this impulse while discussing what she calls “artificial intimacy.” She says that these digital connections risk “lowering our expectations of intimacy between humans” and leave us “unprepared and unable to tolerate the inevitable unpredictabilities of human nature, love, and life.”

Putting yourself out there is uncomfortable. But I also worry that by relying mostly on social media to encounter other humans, they’re forfeiting opportunities to develop the skills that could help them thrive in the flesh-and-blood world.

In his Hall of Fame speech, Brett Favre told a story that he had never shared publicly:

One more thing about my father, and this is something I've never told anyone. My dad was my high school football coach. He was the head football coach, and he coached me and my two brothers. But I never had a car growing up and I always rode to and from school with my father in his truck. So, he was always the last to leave the building because he had to turn the lights off, lock up, and then we made our way home.

So, it was the last high school football game of my high school career. Although I don't remember how I played in the last game, what I do remember is sitting outside the coach's office, waiting for my father to come out so we could leave. It was dark. And I overheard my father talking to the three other coaches. I heard him -- and I assume I didn't play as well the previous week only because of what he said. He said: ‘I can assure you one thing about my son; he will play better. He will redeem himself. I know my son. He has it in him.’

And I never let him know that I heard that. I never said that to anyone else. But I thought to myself: That's a pretty good compliment, you know? My chest kind of swelled up. But I never forgot that statement and that comment that he made to those other coaches. And I want you to know, Dad, I spent the rest of my career trying to redeem myself.

I'm working on it. I'm trying to get through it. But I spent the rest of my career trying to redeem myself and make him proud, and I hope I succeeded.

Possible Preaching Angle:

For better or for worse, our words are self-fulfilling prophecies. Are you giving people, especially your children, something to live up to or something to live down to? Are your words life-giving? Or do they suck the life out of others? Are your words encouraging or discouraging?

A landmark study by researchers in the UK found that simple health habits, such as eating a piece of fruit with lunch or running for 15 minutes before dinner, took an average of 66 days to form. Behavioral researchers say two to three months is a safe bet on average, but the more complex the behavior, the more difficult it is going to be to put on autopilot.

Recent research is uncovering how long it takes to cement different kinds of habits—and gives fresh insight into how to make them stick. According to a recent study, simple health habits like handwashing, for instance, take a couple of weeks to develop, while more complicated ones like going to the gym take four to seven months. “You can’t mindlessly go to the gym the way you mindlessly shampoo your hair,” says Katy Milkman, co-author of the study.

One big lesson if you’re trying to establish a new healthy habit: You will have better luck if you can simplify the process and repeat it often. Finding ways to make it fun and setting realistic expectations about how long it will take to establish the habit will help too.

Ride sharing apps (like Uber and Lyft) ratings have become almost meaningless. A recent report says, “Confusion over what constitutes 5-star behavior for certain services, combined with the guilt of potentially hurting someone’s livelihood, has people defaulting to perfect scores. Ratings padding is particularly rampant for services involving personal interactions. Everyone is ‘above average’ on some apps—way, way above.”

A customer named Mike Johnson has endured some awkward Uber rides. He once held his nose throughout a trip because the driver was carrying chopped-up Durian—the world’s smelliest fruit. Another time, he was stuck in the back seat while a driver bickered with her boyfriend. Yet another driver tried to sell him a Ponzi scheme. He rated each one five out of five stars.

Johnson explained: “They all seemed like nice people. I didn’t want them to be kicked off the app over my bad rating,” the 33-year-old New Yorker said. “Isn’t 5 stars, like, the norm?”

Ratings are so inflated that Lyft drivers whose scores dip below 4.8 out of 5 stars are asked to boost their performance. Drivers under 4.6 risk getting deactivated.

Possible Preaching Angles:

1) God is not afraid to tell us the truth about our sin. 2) Christians should resist this rating inflation and be willing to speak the truth in love to one another.

Gospel singer Bobbi Storm would seem to be aptly named, for her latest actions created a firestorm of controversy, testing the axiom that there’s no such thing as bad publicity. In Storm’s case, she might wish she had done things differently.

Storm is part of the Grammy-nominated praise-and-worship group Maverick City Music, which was recently nominated for two Grammy awards. In her excitement over the nominations, Storm stood up during the middle of a recent flight on Delta Airlines in order to make an unsolicited performance for the people in the cabin.

In a video posted to her Instagram Live account, Storm is heard saying, “I sing for the Lord … I'm doing what the Lord is telling me to do.” After a flight attendant insisted she sit down, she sang a portion of her new song, “We Can’t Forget Him,” at a lower volume, while seated.

Since it went public on Instagram, the video garnered a variety of comments, many of them negative. Storms actions were deemed by commenters as “wildly out of pocket,” and “one of the most egotistical things I’ve ever seen.”

One user summarized the criticism by saying: "Imagine the entitlement of thinking you are the only one with something that can bless folks and it happens to be in an airplane where they have no choice but to hear you because they can’t go anywhere?!?”

Possible Preaching Angle:

While it's important to be bold in our faith, that boldness should be clothed in humility and kindness, truly seeking the best for those around us.

Two researchers have found that success comes with a trap: It can cause teams to rely more on their “stars.” This makes the team less adaptable and more likely to get stuck in old ways of doing things. And, ultimately, it increases the chances of failure the next time around.

They started their research by looking at pro basketball teams. They examined teams in the NBA across more than 60,000 games, spanning 34 years. Leveraging motion-tracking-camera data, they looked at how teams’ passing patterns and shot distributions changed after wins and losses. Here’s their conclusion:

We found that after winning, teams became more reliant on their star players. Teams passed the ball about 6% more to the stars, and their shot distribution skewed 15% more toward the big performers. Although doubling down is intuitive (“We want to exploit what worked before”), it ended up decreasing teams’ chances of winning the next game. The increased reliance on the star players made teams more predictable to the next opponent and easier to defend—and therefore less likely to win the game … Our studies suggest that success threatens teams.

Their recommendation? Focus on the whole team, not just the stars. The researchers concluded, “When teams succeed, the credit is less likely to focus on specific performers, but rather on the team. Likewise, blame is less likely to be attributed solely to the stars, so the team can get a clearer picture of what went wrong.”

Sounds like the body of Christ!

In his book Of Boys and Men, researcher Richard Reeves writes, “Men are much more likely to commit suicide than women. This is a worldwide long-standing pattern.” Reeves quotes an article from 2019 in Harper’s Magazine that talked about the sense of purposelessness among modern men. The author of the article states, “Several of my male friends struggled with addiction and depression, or other conditions that could be named, but the more common complaint was something vaguer …. A quiet desperation that, if I were forced to generalize, seemed to stem from a gnawing sense of purposelessness.”

Another study on male suicides tracked the words or phrases that men who have attempted suicide most often used to describe themselves. At the top of the list were two words: useless and worthless.

You know the person. You work with them, or you’re friends with them, or maybe you even that person. They are youngish. Fit-ish. Always tracking their steps, sleep, heart rate, and meditation streaks. But these trackers overlook one metric: blood pressure. Those two numbers measure how well your blood vessels handle the 2,000 gallons of blood your heart pumps around your body in a day. And young people’s vessels aren’t doing the job so well.

Blue Cross Blue Shield recently released data from the claims of 55 million people. From 2014 to 2017, the prevalence of high blood pressure in people ages 21 to 36 jumped 16%. So, what exactly do we mean by “high”? We mean blood pressure that measures above 130 systolic or 80 diastolic. And when that happens, your blood vessels stiffen up, forcing blood pressure even higher. ... And a higher risk for heart attack and stroke.

For the longest time, most young people didn’t have to worry about this. Youth has always been a relative Teflon coating. Blood-pressure issues were strictly for older people, and the idea that this protection might be eroding is forcing doctors to examine what’s really going on. Here’s what they’re finding:

Millennials carry more than $1 trillion in debt. A large chunk of that is due to student loans—Millennials owe more than four times what Gen Xers do. Add this to other issues (such as bad eating habits and being overweight) and it makes sense that Millennials reported the highest average stress level of any generation, at 5.7 out of 10. (Gen Xers came in at 5.1, Gen Zers at 5.3, and boomers at a relatively zen 4.1.)

The largely unknown Franz Mohr once claimed, “I play [the piano] more in Carnegie Hall than anybody else, but I have no audience.” Mohr, was the Chief Technician for the world-famous piano makers, Steinway & Sons. A New York Times obituary from Sunday April 17, 2022, described how Mohr worked:

Sometimes a string would snap or a pedal would need adjusting during a concert, and he would step into the spotlight for a moment. But he did much of his work alone, on that famous stage and others around the world. He might have been mistaken for a pianist trying out a nine-foot grand for a recital — until he reached for his tools and began making minute adjustments, giving a tuning pin a tiny twist or a hammer a slight shave.

For years he went where the pianists went. He played before presidents and foreign dignitaries. He also attended to the world’s most famous performers’ personal pianos.

But he never begrudged taking a backseat to the stars. His boss, Henry Steinway, once said, “To understand Franz, one must understand … that his Christian faith is at the core of his being and affects everything he says and does.” Mohr claims that he loved being a “faithful plodder” who strove, in the words of Jesus, to be “faithful in little things.”

In a nation of freedom-loving people, we emphasize liberation. But according to author Pete Davis, liberation is not enough. He writes:

Freedom isn’t sufficient for a fulfilling life. The car lets us go anywhere and the internet lets us see anything—but happiness has not come automatically. Despite our ability to think freely, to find all the cracks in the stories we have been told—the world we want to live in has not automatically emerged from the ashes of the old one. The liberated spirit has helped avoid some tragedies, but it hasn’t built global peace. It has helped diagnose the maladies of our time, but it hasn’t figured out a cure.

A free world requires creativity, belief, unity, and inspiration, too. That’s because liberation is only half of the story of who we are. The other half is dedication. People want to be free, but we want to be free to then do something. ... We leave, but we don’t cleave. We desecrate, but we don’t consecrate. We melt down, but we don’t solidify into something else.

Possible Preaching Angle:

Christ has come to make us free, but that does not mean a life without rules. Unbound freedom is not a blessing. It's chaos. The solution is a voluntary wholehearted dedication to something greater than ourselves. The solution is to “lose our lives” for Christ’s sake (Matt. 16:25; Mark 8:35; Luke 9:24).

Shiro Oguni opened a restaurant in Shizuoka, Japan in which all the waiting staff have dementia. In a YouTube video, the owner explains his vision, “Dementia is so widely misunderstood. People believe you can’t do anything for yourself and the condition will often mean complete isolation from society. We want to change society to become more caring and easy-going, so we can live together in harmony.”

The video then shows us the kitchen where Shiro and the chefs are cooking food. In a voiceover Shiro says, “We opened a limited period popup restaurant where all the waiting staff are dementia patients … and what did we call ourselves? The ‘Restaurant of Mistaken Orders.’”

The video then shows the wait staff lined up at the door of the restaurant bowing to the customers as they enter the restaurant. Then they take orders and begin bringing the orders to customers seated at the tables. One elderly server has a delicious plate of food which she offers to a guest, who smiling shakes her head that this is not what was ordered. The server says with a big smile, “It isn’t? Oops! Sorry dear.” Another waiter puts a drink in front of a customer only to take it back. “Oh, sorry, that wasn’t right. Oh no it was! I heard what you said, but I just can’t remember!” Another waiter needs help in totaling the bill and the customers kindly help them with the math.

There is an atmosphere of joy and smiles at every table as the wait staff needs help getting the plates of food to the correct person and words of gentle apology about the confusion.

Shiro says, “Our restaurant is stylish, and serves great food. If your order was mistaken, you can shrug it off with a smile and enjoy what comes your way anyway. The name, ‘The Restaurant of Mistaken Orders,’ allows our customers to enter with an open mind. They expected mistakes, so were OK with it. It created an air of easy-going acceptance. I’m convinced that if our message become more mainstream society will become more tolerant and open.”

The video ends with a summary:

37% of orders were mistaken

But 99% of customers said they were happy

You can watch the 2-minute video here.

Editor’s Note: According to the World Health Organization (3/22), there are currently 55 million dementia patients worldwide and this number is predicted to increase to 152 million by 2050.

Ligonier Ministries asked Americans a practical question about worship. “Must churches provide entertaining worship services if they want to be effective?”

Frequent attendees of evangelical churches (monthly or more):

Strongly agree: 9%

Somewhat agree: 25%

Somewhat disagree: 25%

Strongly disagree: 39%

Infrequent attendees of evangelical churches (holidays only/rarely/never):

Strongly agree: 8%

Somewhat agree: 32%

Somewhat disagree: 27%

Strongly disagree: 29%

Millennial attendees of evangelical churches (ages 18 to 34)

Strongly agree: 11%

Somewhat agree: 29%

Somewhat disagree: 22%

Strongly disagree: 37%

Boomer attendees of evangelical churches (ages 50 to 64)

Strongly agree: 7%

Somewhat agree: 31%

Somewhat disagree: 22%

Strongly disagree: 37%

In so many ways, Giannis Antetokounmpo is an unlikely superstar. The lanky 26-year-old, dubbed “The Greek Freak” for his stunning athletic feats, recently added an exclusive honor to his professional resume: NBA Champion. In July, Antetokounmpo’s Milwaukee Bucks defeated the Phoenix Suns in the 2021 NBA Finals.

But his most distinctive attribute might not be his athleticism, but his humility. Following the Bucks’ Game 4 victory in which he helped preserve the win with a particularly impressive defensive play, Giannis explained how to keep a winning perspective after such a successful outing:

From my experience, like when I think about, “Yeah, I did this. I’m so great. I had 30, I had 25, 10 and 10,” or whatever the case might be … “Oh, we won this and that.” Usually … the next few days, you’re going to be terrible.

Giannis’ frankness elicited chuckles as he illustrated the benefit of staying humble:

When you focus on the past, that’s your ego. “I did this.” We were able to beat this team 4-0. I did this in the past. And when I focus on the future, it’s my pride. “Yeah, next game, I do this and this and this. I’m going to dominate.” That’s your pride talking. I try to focus in the moment, in the present. And that’s humility. That’s being humble. That’s not setting expectations. That’s going out there and enjoying the game.

Possible Preaching Angle:

When we remain humble and teachable, we honor the model of Jesus, who emptied himself by taking on the role of a servant.

Retired US Navy Four-Star Admiral William McRaven spoke to the students at the University of Texas about what needed to be done to change the world:

I have been a Navy SEAL for 36 years. But it all began when I left the University of Texas for Basic SEAL training in California. Basic SEAL training is six months of long torturous runs in the soft sand, midnight swims in the cold water off San Diego, obstacles courses, unending calisthenics, days without sleep and always being cold, wet and miserable. It is six months of being constantly harassed by professionally trained warriors who seek to find the weak of mind and body and eliminate them from ever becoming a Navy SEAL.

Every morning in basic SEAL training, my instructors … would show up in my barracks room and the first thing they would inspect was your bed. If you did it right, the corners would be square, the covers pulled tight, the pillow centered just under the headboard and the extra blanket folded neatly at the foot of the rack — that’s Navy talk for bed.

It was a simple task — mundane at best. But every morning we were required to make our bed to perfection. It seemed a little ridiculous at the time, particularly in light of the fact that were aspiring to be real warriors, tough battle-hardened SEALs, but the wisdom of this simple act has been proven to me many times over.

If you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride, and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another. By the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter. If you can’t do the little things right, you will never do the big things right.

You can watch the video here (timestamp 3:45-6:13).

In a recent issue of Runner's World, Jess Movold shared how she lost her passion to press on:

Tempo runs scare me. Those long, hard, sustained efforts always look impossible when I see them on paper. Doubt creeps in. I remember one run in particular—I saw it on my plan and immediately began creating a laundry list of excuses as to why this was simply just not going to work, why I wasn’t fit enough, why I wouldn’t finish, why I would fail. Before I even laced up my shoes, I’d already convinced myself I couldn’t do this. Instead of using the warmup to find my groove, prepare for success, and get excited to make the best of it, I adopted a loser’s mindset, revisited my list of excuses, and fell further into a bad attitude.

The problem, I realized, was that I treated my entire training plan like a tempo run—hard, fast, strict. In a tempo run, if you don’t hit your pace early, it’s nearly impossible to catch up. In my training plan, I felt like if I didn’t hit a workout early, I wouldn’t be able to catch up.

How did she fix this problem? She started treating her workout collectively like a long run:

I love long runs … settling into a relaxed pace, enjoying the route, and focusing on only one goal—finishing. I love that I can have a bad mile in the middle and still end strong.

Now, when I set a new goal, I have what I call “the long-run mindset.” I find success and value in my training because I’m not desperate for immediate results like I have been. I care more about the big picture and my long-term goals as a runner. I have shifted my attitude to think bigger than short-term outcomes and work toward lifelong success.

Later, Movold offers this advice:

In training as a whole, your “why” will likely be more meaningful but just as important. What are you running toward? Figure out the reason for the miles, and they become easier.

Over the course of several months, Peter Skillman conducted a study pitting the skill of elite university students against that of the average kindergartner. Groups of four built structures using 20 pieces of spaghetti, 1 yard of tape, 1 yard of string, and 1 marshmallow. The only rule, the marshmallow had to end up on top.

Business students began by diagnosing the task, formulating a solution, and assigning roles. The kindergarteners, by contrast, got right to work, trying, failing, and trying again. Author Daniel Coyle explains the outcome, “We presume skilled individuals will combine to produce skilled performance.” But this assumption is wrong. In dozens of trials, the kindergartners built structures that averaged 26 inches tall, while the business school students built structures that averaged less than 10 inches.

We see smart, experienced business school students, and we find it difficult to imagine that they would combine to produce a poor performance. We see unsophisticated, inexperienced kindergartners, and we find it difficult to imagine that they would combine to produce a successful performance . . . individual skills are not what matters. What matters is the interaction.

The kindergartners succeed not because they are smarter but because they work together in a smarter way. They are tapping into a simple and powerful method in which a group of ordinary people can create a performance far beyond the sum of their parts.

Author Alan Fadling asks us to consider this parable:

There was once a king who had two servants. One of the servants, for fear of not pleasing his master, rose early each day to hurry along to do all the things that he believed the king wanted done. He didn't want to bother the king with questions about what that work was. Instead, he hurried from project to project from early morning until late at night.

The other servant was also eager to please his master and would rise early as well. But he took a few moments to go to the king, ask him about his wishes for the day and find out just what it was he desired to be done. Only after such a consultation did this servant step into the work of his day, work comprised of tasks and projects the king himself had expressed a desire for.

The busy servant may have gotten a lot done by the time the inquiring servant even started his work. But which of them was doing the will of the master and pleasing him?

Genuine productivity is not about getting as much done for God as we can manage. It is doing the good work God actually has for us in a given day. Genuine productivity is learning that we are more than servants, that we are beloved sons and daughters invited into the good kingdom work of our heavenly Father. That being the case, how might God be inviting you to wait for his specific direction? Or is God inviting you to take a specific step now?

British Cycling was in a desperate situation. Since 1908, British riders had won just a single Olympic gold medal. Their performance was so bad that a top manufacturer in Europe refused to sell bikes to the team because they were afraid that it would hurt sales if other professionals saw the Brits using their gear.

Then the organization hired Dave Brailsford. What made Brailsford different was his relentless commitment to searching for a tiny margin of improvement in everything they did. He said, “You break down everything that goes into riding a bike. Then you improve it by one percent and you will get a significant increase when you put them all together.”

Brailsford and his team made small adjustments in hundreds of different areas. They redesigned the bike seats for more comfort. They rubbed alcohol on the tires for a better grip. The coach had the riders switch to lighter and more aerodynamic indoor racing suits.

As these one percent improvements accumulated, the results came faster than anyone could have imagined. In just five years the British Cycling team dominated the cycling events at the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing. They won an astounding 60 percent of the gold medals available. Four years later, at the London Olympic Games, the team set nine Olympic records and seven world records.

Editor’s Note: As of the 2024 Paris Olympics Great Britain has won a total of 40 Olympic gold medals in cycling across all disciplines (track, BMX, mountain biking) according to Statista

Possible Preaching Angles: Sometimes God asks us to make radical changes. But sometimes God may also ask us to make small but consistent adjustments—one percent changes. Where is God asking you to make a one percent adjustment? These changes are simple but they are also decisive and long-term. As you continue to obey the Lord and ask him to change you, these one percent changes can make a huge difference.

The brilliant American writer David Foster Wallace committed suicide on September 12th, 2008. He was only 46-years-old. For many months prior to his death, Wallace had been in a deep depression. About ten years after Wallace’s death, Dr. David Kessler M.D. wrote an article in Psychology Today reflecting on what may have caused Wallace’s tragic end:

Wallace’s 2008 suicide at the age of 46 devastated the literary community. He was, at that time, acclaimed as the boldest, most innovative writer of his generation ... Despite Wallace’s frustration with his inability to complete the book [The Pale King], in some ways his life had never been better. He had married four years earlier and was comfortably settled in California, with a teaching job he loved. Why then did he take his own life?

Wallace’s life offers an example of what can happen when … striving perfectionism, which evolves into relentless self-criticism and becomes coupled with an uncanny ability to analyze the flaws in one’s own analysis … Wallace was caught up by this very loop, which resulted in a despair that ultimately he could not conceive of ever escaping. Yet, swimming upstream through his own torrent of disapproval, Wallace always hoped for more: more achievement, more recognition, more love.