Rebuke

Cole Mushrush does two things when he wakes up each morning at the family ranch: make up a pot of coffee, then fire up his laptop to see if any cows have wandered astray. Not many do, because electronic collars have been hung around their necks that give them a jolt if they try to cross one of the invisible fence boundaries created on a computer. The digital fence follows the contours of a pasture, and the collars are designed to keep the cows hemmed in without having to go to the expense of building a real fence.

He said, “The collars have mostly deterred cows from wandering past the no-go zone—although the animals don’t always behave as desired after a shock that comes following warning beeps. Some of them close their eyes and run. We don’t need that.”

The cows undergo a four-day training regimen which included a beep followed by shock, and playing around with the boundaries. There were a few rule breakers, such as when a cow might see her friend on the other side of an invisible fence. Mushrush said, “There are social cliques within a herd. Sometimes a cow will walk through the shock to be with their friend.”

If you are wondering what the shock feels like, it is reported to hurt less than a bee sting.

Possible Preaching Angle:

We know we have freedom in Christ but sometimes we need to be reminded or warned that we are crossing a line which God has placed there for our good.

In his book Of Boys and Men, researcher Richard Reeves notes that until around 2015, the phrase “toxic masculinity” was just mentioned a few times in academic articles. But by 2017, there were thousands of mentions, mostly in the mainstream media.

The term is almost never defined, and is instead used to simply signal disapproval. Lacking a consistent definition, the phrase now refers to any male behavior that the user disapproves of, from the tragic to the trivial. It has been blamed, among other things, for mass shootings, gang violence, online trolling, climate change, the financial crisis, and an unwillingness to wear a mask during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Lumping together terrorists and delinquents, the phrase ultimately poisons the very idea of masculinity itself. The book contains interviews from dozens of adolescent boys about what they like about being a boy. Most boys couldn’t even answer the question. One college sophomore told the author, “That’s interesting. I never thought about that. You hear a lot more about what is wrong with guys.”

Six in 10 Gen Zers and Millennials have a complicated relationship—with their cars. A recent survey of Gen Z and Millennial car owners reveals that it takes an average of eight warning lights for them to schedule vehicle maintenance. However, one in four tend to disregard and continue driving with broken speakers or a radio, excessive emissions, low tire pressure light, oil change, or scratches on their vehicle’s body or windshield.

Two out of three say they’re OK with their car not being up to par as long as it passes a state-licensed safety test. On average, it takes five breakdowns for Gen Zers and Millennials to buy a new car.

People stop driving their car and get a new one when the upkeep surpasses their budget (39%), there are too many strange sounds or smells (38%), too many parts have to be replaced (37%), or too much of it is being held together by tape (37%).

Possible Preaching Angle:

This is also true for most people in their spiritual lives, regardless of their age. They will ignore the warning signs and continue with sinful behavior as long as they think they are managing to “hold it together” and get by with it.

In his book, The Reason for God, Tim Keller writes:

If you don’t trust the Bible enough to let it challenge and correct your thinking, how could you ever have a personal relationship with God? In any truly personal relationship, the other person has to be able to contradict you.

For example, if a wife is not allowed to contradict her husband, they won’t have an intimate relationship. Remember the (two) movies The Stepford Wives? The husbands of Stepford, Connecticut, decide to have their wives turned into robots who never cross the wills of their husbands. A Stepford wife was wonderfully compliant and beautiful, but no one would describe such a marriage as intimate or personal.

Now, what happens if you eliminate anything from the Bible that offends your sensibility and crosses your will? If you pick and choose what you want to believe and reject the rest, how will you ever have a God who can contradict you? You won’t! You’ll have a Stepford God! A God, essentially, of your own making, and not a God with whom you can have a relationship and genuine interaction.

Only if your God can say things that outrage you and make you struggle (as in a real friendship or marriage!) will you know that you have gotten hold of a real God and not a figment of your imagination. So, an authoritative Bible is not the enemy of a personal relationship with God. It is the precondition for it.

In his book The Grace Awakening, Charles Swindoll recounts an experience he once had while ministering at a Bible conference. On the first night he had briefly met a couple who seemed to be friendly and quite glad to be at the meetings. However, as the week went by, Swindoll noticed that roughly ten minutes after he would start speaking at every meeting, the husband would be fast asleep!

This experience began to irritate Charles so much that by the time of the final meeting, he was convinced that the man was there only to please his wife, and was "probably a carnal Christian." At the conclusion of the final meeting however, the wife requested to speak to Charles for a few minutes. He figured she wanted to talk to him about her husband's lack of interest in spiritual matters.

Imagine how greatly embarrassed he was when the wife mentioned that her husband had terminal cancer and that they had attended the conference mainly at his request. It was his “final wish” to be at the conference even though the pain medication he was taking made him drowsy. She then said, "He loves the Lord, and you are his favorite Bible teacher. He wanted to be here to meet you and to hear you, no matter what." Charles Swindoll wrote, "I stood there, all alone, as deeply rebuked as I have ever been."

What a dangerous thing it is to judge others. Jesus said, "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you" (Matthew 7:2).

In the heat of summer, a pool often sounds like a nice way to escape the high temps—but certain Philadelphia residents have been warned that they need to think up some other ideas. Why? Because they were renting dumpsters and filling them with water from fire hydrants to make their own makeshift pools. Pictures of the block party where it happened showed up on Instagram. Needless to say, the Philadelphia mayor's office was not happy. "In view of the City's commitment to public health, safety, and basic common sense, we will not issue permits for block party dumpster pools," their statement read.

Possible Preaching Angle:

We might laugh—but how often have we, too, found something to be fun and exciting in the moment, only to be admonished and rebuked later?

Novelist William Giraldi, a contributing editor to The New Republic, wrote an essay on the modern phenomenon of online hate mail, most often found in the comments section below an article. Comments often devolve into hate-filled insults, but Giraldi draws some conclusions that Christians could agree with. First, Giraldi writes that hate mail proves that, "People are desperate to be heard, to make some sound, any sound, in the world, and hate mail allows them the illusion of doing so. Legions among us suffer from the [boredom] and [unhappiness] of modernity, from the discontents of an increasingly [isolated] society."

According to Giraldi hate mail also means that at least someone is listening to your viewpoints—even if they hate you for it. Giraldi writes, "Part of a writer's [we could insert Christian here] job should be to dishearten the happily deceived, to quash the misconceptions of the pharisaical … to unsettle and upset. If someone isn't riled by what you write, you aren't writing truthfully enough. Hate mail is what happens when you do."

Possible Preaching Angles: Jesus promised that we would be hated for his name's sake. Even if we speak the truth in love, some people will still be unsettled and riled by what we write or say.

An old joke. A letter to a neighbor reads:

Dear Frank. We've been neighbors for six tumultuous years. When you borrowed my tiller, you returned it in pieces. When I was sick, you blasted rap music. And when your dog went to the bathroom all over my lawn, you laughed. I could go on, but I'm certainly not one to hold grudges. So I am writing this letter to tell you that your house is on fire. Cordially, Bob

The Fox TV show Kitchen Nightmares features the host Gordon Ramsay, a world-class chef, who steps into restaurants that are—you guessed it—living nightmares. The restaurants are typically on the verge of closing and in desperate need of help. What's interesting is that sometimes the restaurants look appealing from the outside. Often, large amounts of time and money have been spent finding the right location and creating a welcoming atmosphere. But in every episode, the real problem is the same: the food is nasty.

One of the painfully entertaining parts of every show is how Gordon Ramsay tries over and over to get the restaurant workers to realize they are in an "Oh no! situation." The owners have typically already had a sudden awakening, because the business is in trouble, but what they need is some brutal honesty. And Chef Ramsay is brutal. He'll usually order about a half-dozen items off the menu and with great passion and clarity explain how horrible each one tastes. The restaurant owners are in denial about the quality of their food because they are distracted by everything else going on. They're managing food orders, overseeing wait staff, stepping out of the kitchen to shake hands with customers—basically anything but actually making good food. The show is half over before any of them get honest about reality.

The British ocean liner, the R.M.S. Lusitania, was struck by a torpedo from a German submarine on May 7, 1915. It appears that in an effort to minimize panic, the captain, William Thomas Turner, created a false sense of assurance. Shortly after the torpedo struck the liner, a fellow passenger, Charles Lauriat, heard a female passenger call out, "Captain, what do you wish us to do?" Author Erik Larson writes he replied, "Stay right where you are, Madam, she's all right."

"Where do you get your information?" she asked. "From the engine room, Madam," he said. But the engine room clearly had told him no such thing … Lauriat and the woman now headed back toward the stern, and as they walked they told other passengers what the captain had said. Second-class passenger Henry Needham may have encountered the pair, for he recalled that a passenger approaching from the direction of the bridge had shouted, "The Captain says the boat will not sink."

"The remark," Needham wrote, "was greeted with cheers and I noticed many people who had been endeavoring to get a place in the boats, turned away in apparent contentment."

Turner's words merely confirmed what the passengers and crew already believed, or wanted to believe: that no torpedo could cause the ship mortal damage.

Of the 1,959 passengers aboard the Lusitania, 1,198 perished.

Possible Preaching Angles: (1) Judgment; Hell; Warning—Jesus spoke about hell and judgment (as do other parts of Scripture) not to scare us, but to prepare us for what's really coming. (2) Honesty—This is also a good example of the need to speak the truth in love in Christian community.

On February 22, 1911, Gaston Hervieu climbed the Eiffel Tower to test a new parachute for pilots. He checked the wind, took a nervous breath, and began the test. His silk parachute filled with air, then sailed safely to the ground. Hervieu did not make the jump himself; he used a 160-pound test dummy. To one man this was an outrage. Franz Reichelt was an Austrian tailor who was developing a parachute of his own. He denounced Hervieu's use of a dummy as a "sham" and, one year later, on the morning of Sunday, February 4, 1912, arrived at the Eiffel Tower to conduct his own experiment.

As Reichelt posed for pictures he announced, "I am so convinced my device will work properly that I will jump myself." Gaston Hervieu pulled him aside and tried to stop him. Hervieu claimed there were technical reasons why Reichelt's parachute would not work. The two men had a heated discussion until, finally, Reichelt walked away.

Modern parachutes use 700 square feet of fabric and should be deployed only above 250 feet; Reichelt's parachute used less than 350 square feet of fabric, and he deployed it at 187 feet. He had neither the surface area nor the altitude needed to make a successful jump. Hervieu was not the only one who had told Reichelt that his parachute suit would not work. It had also been rejected by a team of experts who told him, "The surface of your device is too small. You will break your neck."

He not only ignored experts, he also ignored his own data. He tested his parachute using dummies, and they crashed. He tested his parachute by jumping thirty feet into a haystack, and he crashed. He tested his parachute by jumping twenty feet without a haystack, and he crashed and broke his leg. Instead of changing his invention, he clung to his bad idea in the face of all evidence and advice.

Reichelt fell for four seconds, accelerating constantly, until he hit the ground at sixty miles an hour, making a cloud of frost and dust and a dent six inches deep. He was killed on impact.

Toward the end of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, there's a scene where Harry, Ron, and Hermione are about to break the rules and leave their dormitory after-hours to stop the bad guy from stealing a powerful magic artifact. Before they leave, though, they must face none other than Neville Longbottom, a rather bumbling, ineffective student in their class. "You're sneaking out again, aren't you?" Neville asks. "I won't let you. You'll get [our classmates] into trouble again." He fails to stop them, and Harry and his friends manage to stop the villain. But, surprisingly, at the end of the year banquet, headmaster Dumbledore gives the greatest honor to Neville. "It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies," he explains, "but just as much to stand up to our friends."

Although Neville never becomes truly close with Harry, Ron, or Hermione, he still stumbled across two of the key traits of a friend or an accountability partner: the ability to recognize patterns of sinful behavior, and the courage to call the person out on them.

"When I was young and started really making it as an actor, I came and talked to my mother and said, 'Mom, did you think this was going to happen? I'd be so big and I'll be able to take care of everybody and I can do this and I can do that.'"

Mama Washington reprimanded her son: "Oh, you did it all by yourself? I'll tell you what you can do by yourself: Go outside and get a mop and bucket and clean these windows—you can do that by yourself, superstar."

She said, "Boy, stop it right there, stop it right there, stop it right there!" She said, "If you only knew how many people been praying for you." How many prayer groups she put together, how many prayer talks she gave, how many times she splashed me with holy water to save my sorry behind.

Up to his neck in debt, directionless, feeling lost, Tom Toro moved back into his parents' place and slipped into a dark depression. But things started to change when Toro went to a used book sale in his hometown. He opened a cardboard box and found an old stack of The New Yorker magazines. He said, "For some reason, I was drawn toward them and I started riffling through them. Something just clicked. And I started drawing again."

Toro decided to submit some of his cartoons to the magazine. Shortly after that, he received a reply. It was his first rejection note, of the many still to come. Toro said, "The New Yorker found the way to most courteously and most briefly reject people. It's just beautiful. You feel so honored to receive it and yet it's a brushoff."

A year and a half later, Toro had a pile of rejection letters. This continued until Bob Mankoff, the cartoon editor at The New Yorker, gave Toro some honest and specific feedback. Mankoff said he didn't see any joy in Toro's cartoons. So Toro threw everything that he had done previously out the door, sat down with a blank sheet of paper. Recalling Mankoff's advice, he tried to draw from the heart. He was still receiving rejection letters in the mail, but his cartoons were getting better. Toro was finding his style. And then, one day, he wandered into his office to check his email. He said, "I went in there, logged in, and there sitting at the top of my inbox was an email. The subject line read, 'Cartoon Sold.'" It was the 610th drawing Toro had submitted to The New Yorker.

Possible Preaching Angles: (1) Perseverance; Tenacity; Discouragement; (2) Rebuke; Honesty; Correction—Toro needed the honest feedback and correction from Mankoff before he could improve; (3) Spiritual disciplines—How often do we "fail" at spiritual disciplines—fasting, meditation, and so forth—before we finally get it right.

Sally Smith, the president and former CEO of the wildly popular Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant chain, was asked, "What are some things you've learned about leading and managing people?" She replied:

I'm always seeking feedback. My leadership team does a performance review on me each year for the board. It's anonymous. They can talk about my management style or things I need to work on. If you want to continue growing, you have to be willing to say, "What do I need to get better at?"

That's how I learn. That's how I get better. Getting feedback [as a leader] is really tough. You may be able to find a couple of people in the company who will give you honest feedback. Before we even did performance reviews, I used to go to [one of our key leaders] and say, "I want you to write down four things that I need to work on next year."

During his training to become a hospital chaplain, a man was surprised to learn of a phenomenon in the medical community widely known as "Mutual Pretense." In many cases, mutual pretense is something that takes place after the period of treatment for a particular patient has run its course and it's become clear to everyone that it's not working and the patient will die. Despite the fact that this the dark reality is clearly known by all parties involved, the doctor, patient, and family of the patient will often deal with the fact by talk about anything other than the fact that the patient is going to die. They'll talk about what will happen once they get out of the hospital, what they are going to do when everything gets better, about sports, about family—anything but the truth of the impending death.

Mutual pretense is a kind of survival mechanism that allows everyone to continue talking to each other while not having to actually talk about what's going on—like the brute reality of an impending death.

Possible preaching idea: (1) Speaking the truth in love—Church is not a place we go to escape from truth; it's a place where we to go discuss the truth about our lives, even when it's painful. (2) Bible; God's Word—God's Word speaks the truth into our lives.

Editor's Note: The following illustration was adapted from an article by Michael Wheeler, a professor at Harvard Business School.

According to Major David Dixon, recently retired from the U.S. Marine Corps, from Day 1 every Marine is taught to live a life worthy of a Marine. They're also taught to hold one another accountable to that standard of excellence. Dixon says,

If the Marine next to you is falling asleep in class, you must have the moral courage to wake him up and motivate him to stay awake. If you are caught sleeping in class at boot camp, not only do you get in trouble for laziness, but the Marine to your left and to your right get in trouble for lack of moral courage because they should have corrected you when you were in the wrong.

There's a graphic example of this principle from a unit of British Marine commandos. During the war in Afghanistan, a unit came across an insurgent, badly wounded but unarmed. One of the British Marine soldiers, seething with rage, pointed his pistol at the man. He told the man to die and then pulled the trigger. The Marine's parting words were "It's nothing you wouldn't do to us." The solider then turned to his fellow commandos and said, "Obviously this doesn't go anywhere, fellas. I just broke the Geneva Convention." But word did get out in the following days, and that commando was found guilty of murder.

Could anything been said or done to prevent the tragedy? Some military experts believe that the murder could have been prevented if just one other Marine in that unit had the courage to confront their fellow-soldier and hold him accountable. It would have taken only four simple words: "Marines don't do that."

The nominally Jewish writer A. J. Jacobs spent a year working on an unusual experiment: he tried to put into practice everything he read in the Bible. The resulting book was called, The Year of Living Biblically: One Man's Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible. For example, on Day 62 of his experiment he tried to put into practice the command to stone an adulterer. So he records wandering into Central Park and meeting a mid-70ish man sitting on a park bench. Jacobs told the man, "I'm trying to live by the rules of the Bible. The Ten Commandments, stoning adulterers …" Jacobs records the rest of the conversation:

"You're stoning adulterers?" the man asks.
"Yeah, I'm stoning adulterers."
"I'm an adulterer," the man replies.
"You're currently an adulterer?"
"Yeah, Tonight, tomorrow, yesterday, two weeks from now. You gonna stone me?"
"If I could, yes, that'd be great."
"I'll punch you in the face. I'll send you to the cemetery."

He is serious. This isn't a cutesy grumpy old man. This is an angry old man. This is a man with seven decades of hostility behind him. I fish my pebbles from my back pocket.

"I wouldn't stone you with big stones," I say. "Just these little guys." I open my palm to show him the pebbles. He lunges at me, grabbing one out of my hand, then flinging it at my face. It whizzes by my cheek.

I am stunned for a second. I hadn't expected this grizzled old man to make the first move. But now there is nothing stopping me from retaliating. An eye for an eye. I take one of the remaining pebbles and whip it t his chest. It bounces off.

"I'll punch you right in the kisser," he says.
"Well, you really shouldn't commit adultery."

Possible preaching angles: (1) Interpretation; Old Testament—This story illustrates the need to carefully interpret the Scripture and what they mean for us today. (2) Judging Others; Rebuking others—In a humorous way, this story also shows the futility of trying to change others' lives by judging their behavior.

The website Business Insider ran an article titled "7 Brutally Honest Job Rejection Letters." Here are two examples of how not to confront someone.

Sub Pop, an independent record label in Seattle, sent the following rejection letter:

Dear Loser, Thank you for sending your demo materials to Sun Pop for consideration. Presently, your demo package is one of a massive quantity of material we receive everyday at Sub Pop World Headquarters. [Your material] is on its way through the great lower intestines that is the talent acquisitions process. We appreciate your interest and wish the best in your pursuit. Kind regards. P.S. This letter is known as a "rejection letter."

New Delta Review, a literary magazine in Baton Rouge, sent the following rejection letter:

Thank you for submitting. Unfortunately, the work you sent is quite terrible. Please forgive the form rejection, but it would take too much of my time to tell you exactly how terrible it was. So again, sorry for the form letter.

After interviewing business leaders at over 100 companies, the authors of a Harvard Business Review article concluded: "Smart leaders today … engage with employees in a way that resembles an ordinary person-to-person conversation." According to the authors, an essential part of "ordinary person-to-person conversation" involves listening well and getting honest feedback.

They use the following story as an example: James E. Rogers, the president and CEO at Duke Energy, instituted a series of what he called "listening sessions." In a series of three-hour meetings, he invited the people he led to raise any pressing issues. He also asked for their brutally honest feedback about his own leadership performance. The authors of the article wrote:

He asked employees at one session to grade him on a scale of A to F. The results, recorded anonymously, immediately appeared on a screen for all to see. The grades were generally good, but less than half of the employees were willing to give him an A. He took the feedback seriously and began to conduct the exercise regularly. He also began asking open-ended questions about his performance. Somewhat ironically, he found that "internal communication" was the area in which the highest number of participants believed he had room for improvement. Even as Rogers sought to get close to employees by way of [conversation], a fifth of his people were urging him to get closer still. True listening involves taking the bad with the good, absorbing criticism even when it is direct and personal—and even when those delivering it work for you.