Relationship with God

The vast majority of American Christians were raised in the faith—and most can point to the influence of their moms. In a 2023 study, the American Bible Society found that a majority of believers remain in the same religious tradition as their mothers.

This agrees with a large body of mainstream social science research dating back to the 1970s that says the active faith of mothers is a strong predictor of religious transmission. Some of this may be attributed to the natural bond children have with their mothers. But there is also research that shows that moms take a more active role in faith formation in America.

For every ­100 Americans raised by Protestant mothers:

99% of Christian teenagers talk about God with their mothers

71% of Christian teenagers read the Bible with their mothers

70% of Christian teenagers pray with their mothers

63% of Christian teenagers say their mothers encourage them to go to church

62% share the same faith tradition as adults

19% have no religion

11% joined another Christian tradition

4% are now Catholic

4% are other

Psychologists John and Julie Schwartz Gottman write:

While every partnership is unique, with its own set of challenges, there’s one thing that all couples have in common: We want to be appreciated. To be acknowledged for our efforts. We want to be seen.

The No. 1 phrase in successful relationships: “Thank you.”

A thriving relationship requires an enthusiastic culture of appreciation, where we’re as good at noticing the things our partners are doing right as we are at noticing what they’re doing wrong. But it’s easy to fall into the trap of only seeing what your partner is not doing. You develop a narrative where you’re the one putting in all the effort, and you start to believe it’s true. Getting rid of this toxic mindset requires building a new one: scanning for the positives and saying “thank you.”

You probably say “thank you” all day long, almost without thinking, to your colleagues, to the bagger at the supermarket, or to the stranger who holds the door for you. But in our most intimate relationships, we can forget how important saying “thank you” really is.

For many couples we found that when one person started the cycle of appreciation, it became easy for the other to join in and strengthen it. Notice that they washed the breakfast dishes, answered phone calls, picked up the toys strewn all over the living room, and made you coffee when they went to make one for themselves.

Thank them for something routine that they’re doing right, even if it’s small, even if they do it every day—in fact, especially if it’s small and they do it every day! But don’t just say “Hey, thanks.” Tell them why that small thing is a big deal to you: “Thank you for making the coffee every morning. I love waking up to the smell of it and the sounds of you in the kitchen. It just makes me start the day off right.”

Possible Preaching Angle:

If saying “thank you” is crucial in human relationships, let’s remember how much more important it is to offer praise and gratitude to our Heavenly Father for all his grace and acts of kindness to us (Ps. 22:3; Ps. 100:4; 1 Pet. 2:9).

In his autobiographical novel, Everything Sad is Untrue, Daniel Nayeri describes fleeing from Iran as a boy to escape persecution for his Christian faith. At one point, he asks the reader a question:

Would you rather have a God who listens or a god who speaks? Be careful of the answer … There are gods all over the world who just want you to express yourself. At their worst, the people who want a god who listens are self-centered. They just want to live in the land of “do as you please.” And the ones who want a god who speaks are cruel. They just want law and justice to crush everything …. Love is empty without justice. Justice is cruel without love. Oh, and in case it wasn’t obvious the answer is both. God should be both.

Time and again, Jesus proves to be a God who listens. People seek him out by the thousands—but he never refuses a conversation. The only time Jesus ever silences anyone, saying, quite literally, “Be quiet!” it’s a demon (Luke 4:35). Other than that, he’s willing to give anyone the time of day. Blind Bartimaeus shouts to him on a crowded road. While others scold him to keep quiet, Jesus beckons him over and gives Bartimaeus the floor. “What do you want me to do for you?” he asks …. Whatever the blind man had to say, Jesus was all ears.

He’s not just a sounding board, though. Jesus has something to say. Words are the very tools Jesus uses to bring forth his plans …. When his friend is dead and lying in his tomb and Jesus says, “Lazarus, come out!” and the dead man comes out …. In other words, when Jesus speaks things happen.

Jesus is a God who listens and a God who speaks, a God who simply enjoys talking with people. He doesn’t mind being inconvenienced. He’s willing to seek out those who differ with him …. because he is a God who knows, a God to whom all hearts are open and no secrets hid.

The fact that Jesus is the kind of God who wants to be in a personal relationship with us is remarkable compared to the false gods who either speak from on high or listen to us with blank stares .… The Christian faith reveals that we have more than just words, but the Word made flesh.

MIT professor Rosalind Picard shares how she met the Author of all knowledge:

As early as grade school, when I was a straight-A student, I identified with being smart. And I believed smart people didn’t need religion. As a result, I declared myself an atheist and dismissed people who believed in God as uneducated.

In high school, I babysat to earn money. One of my favorite families was a young couple; both the husband (a doctor) and the wife were really sharp. One night, after paying me, they invited me to church. I was stunned—people this smart actually went to church? When Sunday morning came around, I told them I had a stomachache.

Eventually, the couple tried a different tack. They said, “Going to church is not what matters most. What matters is what you believe. Have you read the Bible?” The doctor suggested starting with Proverbs. To my surprise, Proverbs was full of wisdom. I had to pause while reading and think. I then read through the entire Bible. I felt this strange sense of being spoken to. I began wondering whether there really might be a God.

During my freshman year in college, I reconnected with a friend who was a straight-A student and a star on both the basketball court and football field. I had never known anyone so smart and athletic. He then he invited me to his church.

One Sunday, the pastor got my attention when he asked, “Who is Lord of your life?” I was intrigued: I was the captain of my ship, but was it possible that God would actually be willing to lead me? In the spirit of Pascal’s wager, I decided to run an experiment, believing I had much to gain but very little to lose.

After praying, “Jesus Christ, I ask you to be Lord of my life,” my world changed dramatically. It was as if a flat, black-and-white existence suddenly turned full-color and three-dimensional. I felt joy and freedom—but also a heightened sense of responsibility and challenge.

Today, I am a professor at the top university (MIT) in my field. I work closely with people whose lives are filled with medical struggles, people whose children are not healthy. I do not have adequate answers to explain all their suffering. But I know there is a God of unfathomable greatness and love who freely enters into relationship with all who confess their sins and call upon his name.

I once thought I was too smart to believe in God. Now I know I was an arrogant fool who snubbed the greatest Mind in the cosmos—the Author of all science, mathematics, art, and everything else there is to know. Today I walk humbly, having received the most undeserved grace.

What’s the name of the tallest mountain in the world? The answer may surprise you. Most people would answer, Mount Everest, but actually it is Mauna Kea, on the island of Hawaii. The inactive volcano is a modest 13,799 feet above sea level, but when measured from the seabed to its summit, it is 33,465 feet high--about three-quarters of a mile taller than Mount Everest.

As far as mountains are concerned, the current convention is that “highest” means measured from sea level to summit; “tallest” means measured from the bottom of the mountain to the top. So, while Mount Everest, at 29,029 feet is the highest mountain in the world, it is not the tallest. Measuring mountains is trickier than it looks. It’s easy enough to see where the top is, but where exactly is the “bottom” of a mountain?

Possible Preaching Angle:

For the Christian, the important thing is not what others see, but the depth of our walk with God. We have a hidden history with God. We must have foundations. It is the hidden prayer life, growth in faith, obedient service, and who you are when no one's looking.

In a book titled Faith For Exiles, David Kinnaman and Mark Matlock looked at what separates young people who grew up in church and remain actively engaged in their faith and those that are no longer committed to core Christian beliefs and behaviors.

One thing they noticed is that “resilient disciples,” their name for the ones who stayed committed to core principles of the faith, experience far greater joy and intimacy with Jesus.

Compared to those that simply attend church, “resilient disciples” are far more likely to say that their relationship with Jesus brings them joy (90% vs. 48%), shapes their whole life in body, mind, heart, and soul (88% vs. 51%), and impacts the way they live every day (86% vs. 49%).

They also have a richer prayer life. Resilient disciples are more likely to say that time with Jesus reenergizes their life (87% vs. 46%), reading the Bible makes them feel closer to God (87% vs. 44%), listening to God is a big part of their prayer life (78% vs. 48%), and prayer does not feel like a chore but a vibrant part of their life (64% vs. 39%).

Dr. Rosalind Picard, founder and director of the Affective Research Group at MIT (Massachusetts Institute of Technology), was once convinced that she didn’t need God or religion. So, she declared herself an atheist and dismissed believers as uneducated. But as an educated person she figured at least she should read the Bible. Picard said, “When I first opened the Bible, I expected to find phony miracles … and assorted gobbledygook. To my surprise, the Book of Proverbs was full of wisdom. I had to pause while reading and think.”

She read through the entire Bible twice. She said, “I felt this strange sense of being spoken to. Part of me was increasingly eager to spend time with the God of the Bible, but an irritated voice inside me insisted I would be happy again once I moved on.”

In college, another student invited her to his church. The pastor got her attention when he asked, “Who is Lord of your life?” She said:

I was intrigued: I was the captain of my ship, but was it possible that God would actually be willing to lead me? After praying, “Jesus Christ, I ask you to be Lord of my life,” my world changed dramatically, as if a flat, black-and-white existence suddenly turned full-color and three-dimensional. But I lost nothing of my urge to seek new knowledge. In fact, I felt emboldened to ask even tougher questions about how the world works.

Today, I work closely with people whose lives are filled with medical struggles. I do not have adequate answers to explain all their suffering. But I know there is a God of unfathomable greatness and love who freely enters into relationship with all who confess their sins and call upon his name.

I once thought I was too smart to believe in God. Now I know I was an arrogant fool who snubbed the greatest Mind in the cosmos—the Author of all science, mathematics, art, and everything else there is to know. Today I walk … with joy, alongside the most amazing Companion anyone could ask for, filled with desire to keep learning and exploring.

I am uneasy when comedians ridicule the idea of hearing from God. ... I am even more concerned that believing Christians will buy into the ridicule and thereby miss the wonderful relationship with their living Lord. The story is told that Joan of Arc was mocked with, "She says she hears God's voice; why, I don't hear His voice!" Joan replied, "Don't you wish you did?"